Um...

Monday was the day the lawyers came. And the engineers. And one guy I think may have been a geologist.†

The HOA for my little corner of heaven is suing the builder of my little corner of heaven for a myriad of sins, so they had to do inspections of the decks, drywall, garages, windows.‡

Most of the house was oddly presentable,§ but the yarn room/library needed help.

[SUMMARY: *ahem*]

I put together some of those wire cube things from Target and set about organising the yarn. I have one bin for yarn to dye, one for leftovers and orphans, one for projects,¶ one for two-skein sets. Two for sock yarn.

The sock yarn overflowed.

I know common wisdom says, "Sock yarn isn't stash."

"I'm on a yarn diet, but sock yarn doesn't count."

We think of sock yarn as safe and inconsequential because it is slated for that particular project: socks. You don't have to buy ten or twelve balls.#

But I really think my sock yarn has gotten out of hand.

My next project will be six socks at once -- different lace patterns. I figure I already did the four-at-once with different sizes. After I finish the six, I'll do eight all the same size and pattern and it'll feel like a brain vacation.

[SUMMARY: The best-laid plans...]

I also have moths.

Before you gasp,†† I can't see that the moths have done any damage to my yarn. I personally fondled and dug through every single ball, skein, hank and wad of yarn in the yarn room and, while there are bug carcasses, there are no chewed spots.

I don't know how to take this. I should be more upset. But I can't see where these particular moths have done me any damage.

Honestly, if they ate a little sock yarn, it might be a blessing.

[SUMMARY: It's early. I may not have had enough coffee.]

We had a lovely dinner at The Palace Arms. I've wanted to go there for years. It's on my list% right next to Africa of places I want to go and may never get. The meal was superb, the service warm and impeccable,‡‡ we women got roses and salted chocolates§§ at the end of the meal. When I had to go to the restroom, one of the servers escorted me like we were going to a debutante ball.

[SUMMARY: *le sigh*]

Now I have to go meet with the client and get actual work done.

[SUMMARY: Different kind of sigh.]

Could be worse. Could be raining. Oh, wait...




†FOOTNOTE (crossed): He kept commenting on my rocks. Yeah, I said that for the benefit of the Brainless Twelvehood that lies within you.

‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): I'll take "things that may crack or leak or sink" for $500, Alec.

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Odd to me.

¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Believe it or not, I have whole projects with the needles, pattern and all the yarn bagged up neatly and ready to go. I fondly refer to it as my retirement plan.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): I got tired of saying "skeins." I'd rather say "balls."

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): And possibly inhale a moth.

‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): I've found you often have one, but not the other.

%FOOTNOTE (percented): WAS... was on my list. Crossed that off last night.

§§FOOTNOTE (all in a whirl): I'm looking at you, Sarah.

Four Feet Two

First in knitting news, I had quite a lovely surprise when I made my weekly trip to the mailbox yesterday.

It seems A Knitted Peace determined I had spent $500 in their store in 2007 and am eligible for their customer appreciation program.† I got a $50 gift certificate.‡

Why do you suppose it's so much harder to spend a gift certificate than cash? I'm paralysed by my options. There's a good chance I'll sit on this for ages.

Probably until I lose the gift certificate.

[SUMMARY: I'm a financial wizard.]

But I didn't bring you here to talk about my "windfall." No, I brought you here to talk about my knitting.

I finished the Jellyfish a week ago, but couldn't deliver it§ until I could take pictures.¶




In the end, it was 33" across. It took three skeins (less three yards) of Lion Brand Wool Ease Thick & Quick in Sky Blue. It's very, very thick and may make a better dragging blankie than covering blankie.

[SUMMARY: Know your audience.]

Speaking of audience...

Nice segueway, huh? But I just thought of this. And it's sort of knitting related. And it goes with the footnote on baby blankets, specifically the one for Jeron, Christa's son.

Christa was supposed to be at the baby shower, but her mother was in the hospital or some such, so I left the long-finished blanket with Tani, who I felt sure would see Christa before I would.

Tani reported that Christa loved the blanket and...

(wait for it)

...is going to frame it.

I almost cried. I almost yelled. I almost argued.# Then I caught myself and thought and said, "I guess she can frame it if she wants to. I made it for her, so it's her blankie."

But, really.

I envision the blankies I give to the babies being loved and mussed and dragged around until they're frayed and stained. I want the blankies to be loved. Not preserved.

But, again... not my call. Blankies are like children: you do your best with them, then release them to the world and trust they'll reach their best potential.

But, really.

[SUMMARY: There's a lot of philosophy in a baby blanket.]

OK, I'm back. We were talking knitting.

Real knitting. Not philosophical knitting.

So here's the scarf you've never heard of before that I knitted for the raffle on Saturday. I used Misti chunky alpaca†† and it was lovely. Soft as alpaca is soft and quick and comfortable...




And look at the colour! It's called "Marina Melange" and it has wisps of green and deep purplish-blue in among the tealish colour. I could have stared at it for hours,‡‡ just wrapping my eyes around the depth of the shades.

See?




In a quick field trip to some of the fluffly little shops across from the Coral Room, I found the perfect card on which to write content and washing instructions:




Perfect for me, I mean. And the fact that it came with 11 other cards just like it? Bonus!

[SUMMARY: I'm a total package kind of girl.]

Finally, I finished the four-at-once socks.

As anticipated, the difference in sizes caused most of the headaches, but they were very small headaches. Not even headaches so much as exercises in brow furrowing. They hardly hurt a bit.

I think I'll do six at once next. In lace. Different laces for each pair. Then I can tell if it's difference period or just difference in size that makes the... difference.

Sort of like a double-blind study.§§








[SUMMARY: I have superpowers!]

Happy story:

The orange yarn is Hobby Kids from Schoeller + Stahl, left over from a pair I knit for Brother. I figured I wouldn't have quite enough for all four socks. When I went to look for more, I found the yarn has been discontinued.

Paradise Fibers showed they had ten balls of Hobby Kids in red, so I ordered one. They called me that night to say, "Oops! There was an error on our website. Can we send you [some other yarn] instead? Please leave us a message."

I told them I needed the same gauge, same basic tweedy colour scheme and fully machine washable and dryable.

Nobody at Paradise Fibers ever checks their messages. I got about four phone calls and three emails the next day, all from different people.% When I got the yarn, it's 83% wool and wholly unsuitable.

I had to be down in Littleton for random work reasons, so I stopped by A Knitted Peace. That's where I got the original orange yarn. I had no illusions that they would have more of the Hobby Kids, but I thought maybe they'd have SOMETHING.

Guess what?

They happened to have two balls of green^ Hobby Kids in the back. They collect yarn for the women's correctional facility to use in making charity knitting projects, and someone had donated it. So they didn't charge me.@

Oh, happy!

[SUMMARY: Good things come to those who wait 'til the last minute.]

Funny story:

I dropped by the Household du Brother Monday to drop off the socks.¶¶ Dr. Doom ran into the living room in his underpants, excited to get his socks.## Tallest, Hairiest Nephew also came in to see what the fuss was about, although he apparently forgot his underpants. And all other clothing.

Upon seeing the aunt and the open door, he covered his privates and fell to the ground. As he crawled to the pile of clothing on the coffee table,††† eBeth said, "Remember when I told you to put underwear on? Wouldn't that have been a good idea?"‡‡‡

So they both put on socks and wandered around in their underwear making appreciative noises.§§§ Just as I was leaving, Dr. Doom whipped off his underwear and went puttering around in nothing but his new socks.

[SUMMARY: Naked is the new black.]

I'm mildly disturbed that it's so easy for me to get my nephews out of their pants.

Then again, I haven't tried... do you think handing a pair of socks to The Spelling Bee Champ would entice him to remove his?


†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Honestly, I don't know if I ever knew there was such a thing. And it's a little scary to think I spent that much last year at my SECONDARY LYS, but look! Customer appreciation!

‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): That's a 10% ROI. I couldn't have done any better with a Certificate of Deposit.

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Speaking of delivery, the baby was born Monday. That makes this blanket a personal record for me, being both finished and presented (OK, OK... but I'm taking it tonight or tomorrow morning) within days of birth. My brother assured me long ago that hand-knit baby blankets don't have to be finished by the time the baby arrives. In fact, he tells me, they don't even have to be finished that soon after the baby arrives. Good thing, too. Christa just got Jeron's baby blanket and he's nine months old. In my defense, it didn't take me that long to knit it, just that long to get it to her.

¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Perhaps my hand-knit gifts should come with a warning that they will not be distributed until the proper photography and cataloguing (I can spell "cataloguing") has taken place.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Which, y'know... lots of good. Yelling at Tani for Christa's actions. Very productive.

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): 100% baby alpaca, which sounds really cruel when you say it out loud to someone.

‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): OK, I *did* stare at it for hours.

§§FOOTNOTE (two pairs, two circs): Almost nothing like a double-blind study. Mostly the cheerful, blind flailing of the blissfully experimental.

%FOOTNOTE (percented): As you may recognise, this is a mini customer service indictment of Paradise Fibers. They are VERY nice and VERY prompt, but not particularly well organised and they don't appear to ever talk to each other. Or check their messages.

^FOOTNOTE (careted): Which I suspect looks better than the red would have.

@FOOTNOTE (atted): I know, I know... I felt a little wriggly taking charity yarn and told them I'd gladly replace it with two balls of something, but they said they have way more than enough and they'd never miss it. Perhaps it's my Kharmic payout for the raffle scarf.

¶¶FOOTNOTE (little stocking feet): Did I mention it took me until nearly 2:00 in the morning to finish them?

##FOOTNOTE (pounding like the last round of knitting at 2:00 am): It's spring break and they were getting ready to leave for South Dakota. He deemed the socks, "perfect trip socks."

†††FOOTNOTE (are we back to Calgary? It was Easter, after all): Packing, remember. Not a housekeeping issue.

‡‡‡FOOTNOTE (Frankenblog!): The things you get to say when you're a parent. Apparently. Heh.

§§§FOOTNOTE (OK, now I'm dizzy): Have I mentioned recently how marvelous it is that so many people in my life -- particularly everybody I'd ever be inspired to knit for -- is so appreciative? I hear stories from knitter friends all the time about people who aren't thrilled or impressed or... appreciative at all. I may be the luckiest knitter in the world. Even the four-year-old thinks hand-knits are cool.

BTW?

I finished knitting the jellyfish Wednesday night, then wove it in and washed it last night.

I finished the toes on the four-at-once socks and wound the next colour yarn into four balls to switch colours at the feet.

Did I mention I'm switching colours?

I believe I can fly...

Knitting!

Imagine!

First, can you believe I wasn't stricken by lighting† or smitten‡ by a wandering priest yesterday?

No, my friends, I'm still standing. Or, in the interest of full disclosure and complete honesty, sitting.%

Hey, I'm still going for sainthood§ and Carol mentioned "thought, word and deed," or some such nonsense, then Sarah chimed in to clarify how the title saint basically means the PTB at The Church ar 99% positive that person is in heaven,@ and it started to feel complicated, then I decided to start my own church, under which I can be a saint if I damn well please.$

[SUMMARY: So many rules, so little patience.]

I *have* been knitting, though you may not have guessed.

I've been knitting a little on the Noro socks. I've been knitting¶ on the Father's Day socks for Brother. They don't really look that much different than the last time you saw them... just a little longer.

Then there's Mr. Greenjeans:




Mr. Greenjeans even has CABLES now.#




And I showed you the silk for this:




Now it looks like it will be something someday.

The photography still doesn't do the red justice. It's beautifuller than you can imagine looking at it here. And, for those of you interested in such technical details, the Harmony needles totally rock silk. It's the perfect marriage of slidey and grippy.††

When I found out I was invited to the baby shower, mere days before the event, I decided to make a baby blanket because I am insane and believe I have superpowers. But I started the blanket Saturday the 1st and have only knitted two rounds since the shower on the 2nd and here it is, nearly done:




OK, so it mostly looks like a jellyfish,^ and when Mary pulled the unfinished product out of the bag,‡‡ the look on her face didn't say, "Oh, goodness, what a special and lovely blanket!" It said, "If that's the hat that fits the thing that comes out of me, I'm keeping my legs crossed. Forever, if necessary."

*ahem* No need to note I haven't done a significant thing since the shower.

[SUMMARY: I work best on a deadline.]

The brightest new star in my demented constellation is this:




Guess what that is. Go on... guess.


***


***


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Give up?

Four socks at once.

See, the Tallest, Hairiest Nephew expressed a desire for socks. I decided Easter would be a good occasion, but I feel I should probably make socks for Dr. Doom as well. I can do two socks at once, why not four?

And that's only sort of a rhetorical question. I asked myself that question yesterday then spent a certain amount of spare time drawing diagrams, doing maths§§ and doing those hand gestures and squints to indicate I was thinking in three-dimensional space.

I had to rip the first try out because Tallest Hairiest Nephew's socks start with 18 stitches and Dr. Doom's socks start with 16 stitches.¶¶ I got them all mixed up and was adding random stitches here and there.

We're OK now. I'm going to have to keep a close eye on the toes.

But once I hit the feet, it'll be smooth sailing.

Until I get to the heels.

But then the legs will be all good again.

I can do it. Can so.

[SUMMARY: Cleopatra...]

Hey! Guess what! Still a knitblog!

Now with added saints!


†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Though my near-perfect record of laughing uncontrollably in church -- sometimes during the Lord's Prayer -- should have long given lie to the idea of divine retribution.

‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Smote?

%FOOTNOTE (percented): It is a werk day, you know, so I'm exerting myself as little as possible.

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Back when Annie and I were both old and single (before she got married and ruined it for everyone. And by "everyone," I mean, "me"), we had a running collaborative tale about our pathetic childless, husbandless states. I was St. Marin of the One-Cup Coffee Maker and I was doomed... um, *destined*... to forever be "Aunt" to hundreds of unrelated children, the "extra woman" at dinner parties and a collector of cats and dolls. Trust me, it's not nearly as funny (nor tragic) now.

@FOOTNOTE (atted): And if y'all are interested, I highly recommend James Morrow's "Only Begotten Daughter," a book in which Jesus Christ has a 20th century step-sister and the only criterion for hell is that someone else thinks *your kind* goes there.

$FOOTNOTE (moneyed): I think I'm funny.

¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): You can't imagine how slowly the colourwork portion of the Arrrgyles is going. I knit and knit and knit for hours and only get two rounds done. Elves. I need elves. Y'know... like The Sockmaker and the Elves.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): And gets to do its photo shoot on a *very* clean carpet. Which is a tortured way to segueway into the explanation that I did take before and after photos of the carpet, but they don't look that much different. Trust me... IRL carpet is shiny. Photo carpet wouldn't impress you.

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): The little-known eighth and ninth dwarves.

‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): And not a pretty gift bag. I put it in a King Soopers bag and tied the handles in a knot. Mary didn't even know it was a gift; Tani had to nudge it toward her and say, "This is a present too." So you can imagine how that compounded the confused dismay she felt when she opened the homely little bag and found... a blue acrylic jellyfish.

^FOOTNOTE (careted): Cat for Scale was nowhere to be seen when this picture was taken (it was too early and he'd crawled under the covers for a little nap before his mid-early-morning snack). It's currently about 30" in diameter. I'm not even sure how big it SHOULD be to be an effective blanket that will still fit over a carseat (the benchmark mothers have hipped me to). I think I'm going for 36". It seems like a nice, round number. Or maybe 39" because it's a multiple of 13 and that appeals to my prickly dark side.

§§FOOTNOTE (tidal pools of jellyfish...): I know, I know, but I keep thinking someday I'll wake up and the maths thing will click... kinda like when I was playing the oboe.

¶¶FOOTNOTE (little stocking feet): Yes, thank you, it has occurred to me that Dr. Doom's 19-stitch feet and THN's 23-stitch feet will require slightly different jump-off points for the actual feet (to correspond with the slightly different ending points for the toes), and that it will take me slightly different lengths to get to the heels... I'll burn those bridges when I get to them.