Herringbone: That's What She Said

I should be embarrassed to post this.†

If I had any pride% at all...

[SUMMARY: The crux of the biscuit.]

'Cause, see, I finished these socks, what? A month ago? Maybe more?‡

There is one tiny mitigating factor: I was waiting for Kim to get them§ so I didn't step¶ on her glory.

You've been on the edge of your seat this whole time, right?#

[SUMMARY: Socks? What socks? There were socks?]

Here are the pictures I took of Kim's socks in the garden.††






Note the clever calf shaping‡‡:




Public Service Announcement:

Hey, knitters! Toe-up socks are fun and practical and you know all the cool kids are doing them. Just remember, like big boobs and patriotism,§§ the ability to try on socks as you go only works if you USE IT PROPERLY.

[SUMMARY: Do as I say, not as I knit.]

You're welcome.


†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Since it would be even more embarrassing to reveal that I lost my camera in my own recliner for a panicky twelve hours, I'm calling this the lesser of evils and going with it.

%FOOTNOTE (percented): Pride is a SIN. A BIG one. We saints-in-training have no truck with that sort of thing.

‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Who's counting?

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Turns out that was completely in my control too.

¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Hahaha! Get it? Socks... step... :D

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): And judging by the series of thuds echoing around the world, holding your breaths too!

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): In the neighbour's garden. They have more green stuff. I was going to explain that I have a red bush, but I know how your mind works and I was trying to avoid the off-colour comments.

‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): I had the forethought to worry about calves, but not an inkling about ankles.

§§FOOTNOTE (still reeling from the depths): How profound, Mr. Wizard.

.-.. .. -.-. -.- - .... . .--. .. --. †

Lest you think I never think of knitting anymore, I am in the process of graphing the Bat Conservation International logo for a nifty tam o' shanter.




And later this week, I'll post pictures of the pair of socks I finished a month ago.




And, FSM willing, the sparkly scarf I'm making from Nathan's brilliant stash contribution.‡

[SUMMARY: I'll keep you coming back for more!]

Meanwhile, I shall share some funny bits lurking in my files.

Like Tippi Hedren in marshmallows§:




And, of course, stupid sparkly vampire snark:




And a whole collection of Savage Chickens that made me snarf%:








Speaking of chicken, I started my birthday with chicken 'n' waffles, a taste treat much lauded by Snoop Dogg, so I felt I had to try it.¶

I am currently developing recipes to make chicken 'n' waffles not quite so much heart-attack-waiting-to-happen.# It's really all about the tobasco and maple syrup, so fat content should be negotiable.

More birthday magic later this week too!

[SUMMARY: I took a couple of marketing classes in college.]

As long as we're talking about food, I just received word from Lucretia-once-Tia that I won a year's supply of Blue Bunny ice cream on a contest on her blog.

[SUMMARY: Don't stand near me. Lightning is about to strike.††]

Yep! It's a staccato blast of pig-licking today. Who knows what cohesiveness or cleverness tomorrow may bring?‡‡


†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Genuine Morse Code! Fun for the whole family! Translation: Lick the pig.

‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): While I try not to go overboard with WIP pics, I think Nathan should see that his generous gift is going to good and glam use. And it will pad the blog the way only sparkly, sparkly pictures can.

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Don't look, Jackson! And don't click the link!

%FOOTNOTE (percented): The last one is, of course, especially for Lyda.

¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): I want to be Snoop Dogg when I grow up, with my mind on my money and my money on my mind.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): I'm thinking non-fried fried chicken and Kashi toaster waffles.

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): I'd like to thank Juno for pointing out that, contrary to my grip on kharma, I will not be struck by lightning to balance out all the good stuff that's happening, but that there is special birthday kharma that allows good things without ass-biting returns.

‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): Yeah, most of you can lay the odds on that, but you never know. I may experience a flash of brilliance.

Some Cinderella

So you know how knitting is: you have a dozen things going on,† you finish an object, you share with your friends, but there's so much going on beneath the surface.‡

I've knit a few BSJs§ since the last time we visited the knitting, and a fish¶ and a bomb,# but I've been diligently working on my six-at-once socks too. You just haven't seen them.††

[SUMMARY: In which I ask you to take a leap of faith.‡‡]

The herringbone pattern, which takes much more yarn than the lace patterns, is nearly done.§§ I am, in fact, a half-inch into the ribbing. And I'm was really proud of myself because I could kind of tell it wasn't quite as stretchy, so I incorporated some truly elegant calf-shaping.¶¶

Last night, I tried all the socks on.##

The herringbones are almost too narrow for my duck feet and totally too narrow to get around my heel.

SO... it seems like a good time for a contest of some sort.

[SUMMARY: In which I dangle bait.]

The sticky part is 13" around††† and I truly believe that with a little Crisco and a pair of pliers, I could get the socks over my heel.% It's *that* close to working. The socks are knit to a women's 8 1/2 size and would work for a slighly larger or quite a bit smaller length.

If you truly believe this would work for you, write a lovely sock haiku, put it in the comments ON THIS POST‡‡‡ and I will pick a random winner from the entrants on, say, Monday morning.

Let's say you have until 8:00 ay-em§§§ on Monday to get a haiku in.

[SUMMARY: In which I explain how your leap of faith could be clothed in very cute socks.¶¶¶]

Pass it on -- there's nothing I like better than a lovely sock haiku.###


†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Maybe I'm projecting.

‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): My sophomore year in college, there a flurry of construction on the south end of Taylor Hall. Bulldozers, big flatbed trucks, smallish cranes and a pile of metal. After a couple of days, they left. And we waited to see what the pile of metal was going to be when it was finished. Turns out it was finished. It was a sculpture called Key Shift, about which the artist said (paraphrasing), "It gives the impression of a lot going on just beneath the surface." To which I replied, "Because there's nothing going on up here." Now every time I talk about stuff going on beneath the surface, I think of that. You're welcome.



§FOOTNOTE (swerved): I have the pictures to prove it.

¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Of course.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): We'll talk about that later, when the bomb is famous.

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Probably because most WIP pictures are not so interesting.

‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): I'm a saint-in-training. You can trust me.

§§FOOTNOTE (short on time, no cute names for the footnote symbols today): I mention the extra yarn requirements because it explains why they are going to be finished before their fellow socks. This is part of the vast educational bounty that is circus knitting.

¶¶FOOTNOTE (parapara): To fit my elegant calves.

##FOOTNOTE (poundpound): Because it's been cold enough for footy pajamas until just the last couple of days and 1) it is well nigh impossible to try on socks over pajama feet, and 2) you have to get practically naked to free your feet to eliminate that issue. Nothing wrong with naked, it's just inconvenient to go from footy pajama to footloose in any graceful and timely manner.

†††FOOTNOTE (triplecross): Not *that* kind of sticky, you perverts. Around the ankle AND the heel where socks get stuck if they're going to stick.

%FOOTNOTE (percented): I want it on the record that I do not have fat ankles or cankle, but I think my roundheeled ways may be manifesting themselves in my sock fittings.

‡‡‡FOOTNOTE (triplewhateverthehellthosethingsare): Sorry to yell. Just making a point.

§§§FOOTNOTE (swerveswerveswerve): Mountain Daylight Time.

¶¶¶FOOTNOTE (three paragraphs): Like loaves and fishes, my friends.

###FOOTNOTE (three numbers): That's not entirely true, but to list the things I like better than a lovely sock haiku would ruin the moment.

EDITED: Because I wonked the footnotes the first time around. Like the footnotes aren't confusing enough. But now they should make sense -- or as much sense as they ever do.

Six Little Updates, All in a Row

Thursday, I got to that magical point†:






This, my knitting friends,‡ is the last vestiges of the mass dick warmer% phase of the Six-at-Once project.

[SUMMARY: Those who cannot do, warm.]

Over the weekend, I turned six heels§:




Soon, these will be viable, wearable socks.¶

[SUMMARY: Send in the clowns -- the circus is in full swing.]

This is SO still a knitblog.#


†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Like the mystical time between dark and the first greying of dawn, this represents that goose-bumpy place where phallic becomes footie.

‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): And guy friends. Guys may be nominally interested in the on-beyond-dick-warmer process.

%FOOTNOTE (percented): I know I seem abnormally fixated on the phrase "dick warmer," but it's still one of the funniest things anyone has ever said. Particularly about knitting.

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Wedged in around spending seven hours trying to maintain a conversation with Brother's increasingly-deaf and hearing aid-resistant grandmother. It is a testament to the ultra-simple short-row heel that I could so easily finish six heels despite the schedule constraints.

¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Except maybe the blue ones, which are about 3/4 of an inch shorter than the other two pairs. I hadn't thought to allow for what the different stitch patterns might do to the length. Lesson learned. But those socks may have to go to someone with smaller feet than mine. I'll keep you posted.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Just wait 'til you see the O's I'm going to F in the next couple of days and the fish I'm about to knit. And the joyful resurrection (just in time for Easter!) of the "Father's Day (2007)" Arrrgyle socks, since I just figured out how to knit intarsia in the round. Aw, yeah, boyeeee... It's gettin' knitty up in here.

The Greatest Show on Earth%

I have a Finished Object.†

Remember how yesterday I said, "My camera is clear"? Well, right after I posted that, I went and mucked it up again with said Finished Object. Basically, the point of this paragraph is that I want credit for the FO, but I don't want to have to wait until I get it out of my camera and *show* it to you.‡

[SUMMARY: This is the problem with American society today.]

I do have a couple of works in progress I can share with you.

In the ongoing three-ring circus that is my knitting whimsy, I have started the Six-at-Once sock project.§




Before I even cast on, I realised the biggest pain in my ass was likely to be skein maintenance,¶ rather than any issues of technique or pattern.#

Kris, the best thing that's happened in my knitting world since circular needles,†† suggested putting each pair of skeins in its own Ziploc bag, cutting the corners out of the bottoms to feed the yarn, then untwisting as needed.‡‡

Elegant. Brilliant. All hail Kris.§§

[SUMMARY: Kris completes me. Well, my half-a-mind, in any case. I come up with the wild-ass schemes. She tells me how to actually do them.]

You may recall that the Four-at-Once project encompassed two pairs of socks of the same yarn with two different sizes.

This time, I am using the same breed of yarn for each sock,¶¶ all three pairs of socks the same size,## but with three different patterns, all from Carol Jean's "Knitting Socks with Handpainted Yarn".

For the blue/green:




For the brown/purple:




For the pink†††/green:




I'll update when I turn the heels and they cease to be dick warmers.‡‡‡

[SUMMARY: Ya-dah-d-da-d-da-ya-da-d-dah.§§§]

For my next trick, I will be needle felting.

The backstory: Brother and eBeth have made presidential candidate ornaments for the family Christmas exchange at least once. This, we feel, qualifies as a tradition.

So when Brother was grumbling about what he was going to do for this year's family gathering, I offered up a Barack Obama needle felting kit I got at Fancy Tiger during the DNC.

Not only did he make it, he deemed it the most he's enjoyed a Christmas project in years.


{photo courtesy of Tani}


So in trying to find a suitable handmade gift for the Glam Rock swap,¶¶¶ I took a page from Brother's book and decided to make a needle felted person from the following materials. Note the glitter:




Yeah, I'm being a little cagey about who it is. Partly because I'm toying with the idea of offering a prize### to the first person who can Name That Rock Star and partly because if it doesn't work out, maybe it'll look enough like someone else that I can pass it off.

[SUMMARY: Hedging my bets.]

Knitblog Plus -- now with 17% more fibre!


%FOOTNOTE (percented): This is not nearly as bragadocious (is that a word?) as it sounds. I'm merely trying to convey the circus-like atmosphere surrounding today's offering of projects.

†FOOTNOTE (crossed): You are so excited.

‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Is this any kind of behaviour for someone who wants to be promoted to saint?

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): I took this picture on Sunday morning (pre Jello shot). Since then, I have finished the toes and done two rounds of pattern on each sock. Yay, me.

¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): I say, "realised," like I had a brilliant idea. Actually, it's muscle memory from the last time, when keeping four balls of yarn under control was by far the hardest part of the project.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): It's been well established I think there isn't a technique I can't do or a pattern I can't master. I'm going to be found strangled by my own knitting someday.

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Kris found me the right yarn when I was paralysed by indecision in the Noro department at Posh. The Chypre Scarf might have been clown barf without her.

‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): I can't help thinking I should've been able to come up with that on my own.

§§FOOTNOTE (maths just make my li'l ol' head spin): Kris can think in three dimensions. Three dimensions gives me nosebleeds.

¶¶FOOTNOTE (that's only two; I scoff at two socks): Shibui Sock in Orchid, Earth and Marine. I had no idea I'd gone so... tree hugger with my colourways.

six socks flowering
awash in an ocean blue
and grounded like mud

##FOOTNOTE (it's all in the numbers, baby): That would be me-sized. We'll see if I finally get a pair of handknit socks (or three) to call my own.

†††FOOTNOTE (put three feet in front of the other three): I feel I'm selling it short just calling it "pink." Maybe !!!PINK!!! is more apt.

‡‡‡FOOTNOTE (barbellous): I wonder how many more times I get to use that before Brother starts demanding royalties.

§§§FOOTNOTE (let the music dance around you): I'm singing that circus song. You know... the one that goes, "Ya-dah-d-da-d-da-ya-da-d-dah."

¶¶¶FOOTNOTE (one half of one big sock project!): I know. I'm a sucker for some of these swaps.

###FOOTNOTE (I got your number): Like your very own handmade rock star.

Lalala Stillaknitblog Lalala

Oh, yes I did. I F'd an O.†

A pair of size 13 men's socks.‡

ANOTHER pair of size 13 men's socks.§




I fancy y'all are as sick of seeing my couch, my chairs, my porch as I am,¶ I took the pictures at Bag Lady Katherine's house Sunday.

On her chair.#






Particulars:

Pattern: Rippling Dunes Socks by KellyK Designs††
Yarn: ShibuiKnits Sock in Pebble‡‡
Needles: US size 3
Method: Two at once, toe up§§
Size: Men's 13. THIRTEEN. And about 11" of leg. But I really liked the pattern. It's one of those that has enough mindless stockinette (four rows out of every six), but then a set-up row and a simple cable row to keep things interesting.

I am only hoping Brother has glanced at this post, seen it involved knitting and moved on. I don't need him remembering his Father's Day socks from 2005 are still unfinished while I have managed to finish two pairs for Dad.

Dad did not choose to make me try intarsia in the round. This is his reward.¶¶

Call me Spindoctor Marin.##


†FOOTNOTE (crossed): F'd it's little brains out. Heheheheh.

‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): For those of you scoring at home, that's roughly six cubic centahares of stitching, known in layman's terms as "an assload."

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Also for those of you playing at home, that's two full assloads of stitching for a man who announced his recent engagement to me VIA EMAIL.

¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): You may not even care, but I like to imagine your world revolves around my knitting pictures, so I feel good about expanding your horizons.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Which has a horse.

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Dad picked it out himself.

‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): Though I thought it was Beach, hence the slightly misnamed "Low Tide Socks."

§§FOOTNOTE (what a spin): The only way to fly.

¶¶FOOTNOTE (clubbing?): And this is my justification.

##FOOTNOTE (pounded like and F'ing O): Please? I think it'd be a really cool nickname.

I've Gone Batty†

Well, now, I was going to chat about incoming mail and how wonderful it is, but more wonderful incoming mail came Saturday and I didn't get a chance to photograph it before the camera battery died, so let's talk about outgoing mail today.

[SUMMARY: *gasp*‡]

I actually knitted something. This may not shock you so much, but I really haven't knit for about a month. No reason, just didn't.

But I'm back with a vengeance.§

Once I got this little guy done...




...I got all inspired and I wound up the remaining yarn for the Low Tide Socks and unscrambled what I screwed up on the Purple Prose scarf.¶

Who wouldn't be inspired by this little lopsided face? these sweet wings?




[SUMMARY: Awww... wookat da bat!]

I also made my very first stitch markers. Note the Dracular theme:




So the outgoing mail was almost as much fun as incoming mail.

[SUMMARY: You have your pleasures, I have mine.#]

Did you notice how I hinted there may be multiple posts this week? I bet you're thrilled.

Multiple is good.††

*************
Yohji Homme - Yohji Yamamoto

Marin says: Mmmmmm... licorice and lime. I know that probably sounds awful, but trust me, it's lovely. Similar to bay rum, but edgier than most bay rum scents because of the distinct licorice.‡‡

As the brighter lime wisps off, a powdery cocoa smell is revealed. Actually, it's very much like the patchouli in the Angel line, where the chocolate notes in the patchouli are emphasised.

Eventually, it becomes a powdery cedar with a hint of chocolate, which (come to think of it) may be a patchouli.

Oh, wait! Old books! Mmmmmm...

The Perfumed Court says: Yohji Homme is a fabulous gourmand scent with notes of licorice,$ chocolate,$ coffee,$ rum,$ cinnamon, sandalwood, amber and leather.$ And this is not just for men; ladies would love this one too. The perfect winter scent!!§§

Hans says: I smell licorice in that. And spice. Spicy licorice.


†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Alright, you caught me... ship has sailed. It probably started when I decided my freshman year in college I wanted a bat tattoo. I've only gotten battier since.

‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): That would be *gasp* as in "*gasp* how many more commas could she have possibly used," rather than, "*gasp* I simply don't believe it!"

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): The Dracula swap on Ravelry made it all possible.

¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): I have made excellent and noticable progress on each.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Heheheheheheh.

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): That's what she said.

‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): And because most bay rums are like Old Spice in terms of edgy.

$FOOTNOTE (on the money): Ha! Got one! OK, counting coffee + leather as books. Trust me, it's pretty close.

§§FOOTNOTE (a graphic representation of the boggling of my mind): Why? Why two exclamation points? WHY?

Play that Funky Anthem, White Boy

Before we talk about all the things I'll be finishing, let's talk about something I'll be starting:




Out of this:




Which wasn't supposed to come in until the beginning of September, but my pusher, Sylvia, lured me to the House of Fuzzy Crack Friday to pick it up.†

This yarn is 30% rock.‡

When Sylia got the sample cards for this, it didn't matter how much yarn I already have. It didn't matter how many projects are already on my needles. I started thinking of knitting something out of rocks.

My geology-lovin' little heart grew three sizes that day.

And I liked the pattern when I saw it in the new Interweave Knits and was considering what to knit it of when the Yarn of Rocks came in.

So happens the pattern's even written for that EXACT GAUGE.

[SUMMARY: Fate.]

And before we get into things I'll be finishing, let's take a quick look at a couple of things I'm in the middle of. Like this:






That's the Malabrigo Lace Secret Pal sent for my birthday, and I finally found a project for it, the somewhat inelegantly-named "Scarf with French trellis border from Weldon's 1890 and bramble leaf center."

I'm calling it Purple Prose.^

Then there are Dad's Low Tide Socks, which now have heels§ and a little bit of leg.¶




I used a new heel method# that I really like: Short row, with no wrapping and turning and picking up wraps. Look how pretty it is:




But I'm not working on those projects for a little bit while I complete my Ravelympics events.††

Oh, look how much a knitblog this really is!

[SUMMARY: Just showing off.]

I completed one event in WIP Wrestling‡‡ mostly on Saturday,§§ and did fuck-all on my other WIP Wrestling event.¶¶

I wove in the ends on the Malabrigo slippers that are -- technically -- a Mother's Day present for my grandmother, and washed them and stuffed them with washcloths to block them into some form that didn't look like crumpled paper.

I then sat down to knit the acorn embellishment. I determined that said embellishment mostly resembled an oddly-coloured, hand-knit sperm, so I decided to leave the embellishment off.




Sunday morning, when they were dry, I took them out to get artsy photos of them for the blog and Ravelry.

I believe I succeeded in stirring up bees more than I succeeded as an artist, but I think I should get an A for effort.##

[SUMMARY: I did little, yet accomplished so much.]

I had already determined my final event in the Ravelympics would be the Sweater Sprint, because I wanted to knit a skull sweater for Tallest, Hairiest Nephew's birthday.

I found a skull chart on Flickr (the skull designer is on Ravelry under the same name)...

...and then I went to Barnes & Noble at lunch and found a series of kids' books called "Vampirates."

So THN is getting the books too and I'm modifying the skull to have fangs.%

I'm giving myself a little pat on the back††† for remembering how fun and quick the colourwork was on the Monkey Pack and how dreary the miles of solid stockinette was.

I started the back of Vampirates and am saving the skull part for last, just to treat myself.

[SUMMARY: Old dog, new tricks.]

I fully embrace my dorkness in getting excited over something called Ravelympics.

Mostly, I embrace the fact that the threat of public humiliation in the face of failure of the stated objective is a powerful motivator for me. So I'm confident I'll finally finish the Lizard Ridge and have THN's birthday present done on time.

Know thyself.

†FOOTNOTE (crossed): OK, I was going there anyway and she hadn't actually managed to get the email out to me before I showed up on her doorstep, thumping a vein and jonesing for yarn, but I'm going with "lured" anyway.

‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): See the label?

^FOOTNOTE (careted): Note the lifeline. I am smarter than I look. After three frog sessions, I'm smarter than I look.

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): No longer dick warmers!

¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Technically, the It Happened One Night phase.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): New to me.

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Being a competitor is really hard. You have to devote yourself to the competition. You can't be distracted by rock yarn.

‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): Grandma's Blues, the 100m freestyle of my WIP events.

§§FOOTNOTE (flip turn): Lizard Ridge, the 800m IM of my WIP events.

¶¶FOOTNOTE (two little Ravletes on the podium): I'm disciplined, not insane.

##FOOTNOTE (pounding to the finish line): Kinda like the Special Ravelympics.

%FOOTNOTE (percented): I have it on good authority that I'm not just playing to my own inner eight-year-old boy. THN will be thrilled. Brother and eBeth both say so.

†††FOOTNOTE (gold, silver, bronze): Another one.

I'd Like to Knit the World a Sock...

By the way? The moral of yesterday's Nintendo post?

When the Nigerian prince emails and says, "Let's play some Nintendo," just do it.

*************

Sheesh. I think I have about 14 projects going right now.†

Some of them, admittedly, just need finishing.

*coughlizardridgecough*

*coughgrandma'sslipperscough*

Some of them are Brother's Father's Day socks from 2007. Turns out frogging intarsia isn't as easy as it looks.

Some of them are the blue scarf. You remember the blue scarf. I can't lay my hands on the blue scarf right this minute, but when I do, it'll be highly active.

[SUMMARY: Making "some" a singular since 2006.]

Some projects are the Sebring tank top, which has been dubbed the shirt from hell by all who come across it. There's something seriously wonky about the pattern -- even those who are getting gauge are ending up with knitted bits that are WAY too big.

Now, I'm not getting gauge. I never intended to get gauge. I couldn't find yarn I liked that would seem to get 6.75 stitches per inch, so I decided I'd just do the math.‡

Yeah, ask me how that worked out.

I wonked the lace panel on the first go 'round,§ but before I frogged it I tried it on. At my bust measurement point,¶ it was probably three or four inches bigger than me.#

[SUMMARY: That's fucking huge.]

It doesn't seem to matter if you're getting gauge like Bag Lady Kathryn and Genius Sarah, or if you're a Sesame Street reject like me. The thing is just too damned big.

So I'm now knitting the extra small on the pattern... it *looks* OK...




I did wonk the lace a little. Again. But I'm willing to live with it.




[SUMMARY: Third frog's the charm.††]

So remember when Dad knit the Christmas stocking?

Well, a knitter friend of his was so excited -- she actually thought it would be the start of a wonderful new hobby for him.‡‡ In that spirit, she got him the Knitting Pattern-a-Day Calendar. Which he was going to give to me. Until she got really hurt he'd give her present away.

So it sits on top of his microwave.

Dad being Dad, he actually keeps up with it, changing patterns every day. Which is how he found this one:

Rippling Dunes Socks



"Daughter,§§ I brought you some mail and some magazines and a hint."

I pulled the pattern out of the bag and he said, "I just thought that was really neat. I even like the yarn. Without the pink."

He pondered for a moment.

"I guess the pink would be OK."

It just so happened that I had purchased a couple of hanks of Shibui Sock in Pebble with the specific intent of making socks for Dad.

Look at that. It looks an awful lot like the yarn in the picture... only without the pink.

So I started those last week and made some pretty good headway on the trip to Wisconsin.




[SUMMARY: Headway on socks.%]

I'm also working on the Wavy Leaves scarf from Fiddlesticks Knitting.




And the Malabrigo lace in the gorgeous purple¶¶ sent by Secret Pal for my birthday.




I know it doesn't look like a WIP, but if you saw the number of projects I've cast on and frogged, you'd understand my insistence that it IS a work in progress and my demand that I get credit for it as such.

I've been searching for just the right lace pattern for a lovely scarf. I may have finally found one in the lost## Barbara Walker stitch dictionary. Further updates as the situation warrants.

So that's it, poppets. All the news what's fit to print.

[SUMMARY: Sing it with me: Still a knitblog!]

Happy Holiday! Drink responsibly!


†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Like, actively going. Not like, "I have a bunch of stuff in the back of the closet and technically it's a work-in-progress, but let's face it, I'm never going to get jazzed enough about 40 acres of linen stitch enough to actually pick it up again."

‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): I can hear you laughing.

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Actually, I wonked it once and said, "Nobody will ever notice that." Then I wonked it again and said, "Nobody will ever notice it down there by the hem." Then I wonked it again and said, "If you squint really hard..." Then I finally got over my state of denial and frogged.

¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): You know... the BIG number.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Circus tent proportions.

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Oh, if only it worked that way for kissing them...

‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): Dear Barbara, have you MET my dad?

§§FOOTNOTE (I get my curly hair from my Dad too): Yes, he calls me "Daughter." And I often call him "Father." It doesn't sound nearly as posh from our end. 'Specially since he just as often calls me "Gruese." Short for "Gruesome."

%FOOTNOTE (percented): Heh.

¶¶FOOTNOTE (straights -- you know, as opposed to circs): Purple so beautiful, even my purple-hating camera deigned to capture it.

##FOOTNOTE (pound it twice and it's twice as nice!): Lost to me. In trying to find my Sherman's Lagoon book (don't judge) last night, I discovered it under the bed.

Um...

Monday was the day the lawyers came. And the engineers. And one guy I think may have been a geologist.†

The HOA for my little corner of heaven is suing the builder of my little corner of heaven for a myriad of sins, so they had to do inspections of the decks, drywall, garages, windows.‡

Most of the house was oddly presentable,§ but the yarn room/library needed help.

[SUMMARY: *ahem*]

I put together some of those wire cube things from Target and set about organising the yarn. I have one bin for yarn to dye, one for leftovers and orphans, one for projects,¶ one for two-skein sets. Two for sock yarn.

The sock yarn overflowed.

I know common wisdom says, "Sock yarn isn't stash."

"I'm on a yarn diet, but sock yarn doesn't count."

We think of sock yarn as safe and inconsequential because it is slated for that particular project: socks. You don't have to buy ten or twelve balls.#

But I really think my sock yarn has gotten out of hand.

My next project will be six socks at once -- different lace patterns. I figure I already did the four-at-once with different sizes. After I finish the six, I'll do eight all the same size and pattern and it'll feel like a brain vacation.

[SUMMARY: The best-laid plans...]

I also have moths.

Before you gasp,†† I can't see that the moths have done any damage to my yarn. I personally fondled and dug through every single ball, skein, hank and wad of yarn in the yarn room and, while there are bug carcasses, there are no chewed spots.

I don't know how to take this. I should be more upset. But I can't see where these particular moths have done me any damage.

Honestly, if they ate a little sock yarn, it might be a blessing.

[SUMMARY: It's early. I may not have had enough coffee.]

We had a lovely dinner at The Palace Arms. I've wanted to go there for years. It's on my list% right next to Africa of places I want to go and may never get. The meal was superb, the service warm and impeccable,‡‡ we women got roses and salted chocolates§§ at the end of the meal. When I had to go to the restroom, one of the servers escorted me like we were going to a debutante ball.

[SUMMARY: *le sigh*]

Now I have to go meet with the client and get actual work done.

[SUMMARY: Different kind of sigh.]

Could be worse. Could be raining. Oh, wait...




†FOOTNOTE (crossed): He kept commenting on my rocks. Yeah, I said that for the benefit of the Brainless Twelvehood that lies within you.

‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): I'll take "things that may crack or leak or sink" for $500, Alec.

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Odd to me.

¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Believe it or not, I have whole projects with the needles, pattern and all the yarn bagged up neatly and ready to go. I fondly refer to it as my retirement plan.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): I got tired of saying "skeins." I'd rather say "balls."

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): And possibly inhale a moth.

‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): I've found you often have one, but not the other.

%FOOTNOTE (percented): WAS... was on my list. Crossed that off last night.

§§FOOTNOTE (all in a whirl): I'm looking at you, Sarah.

I Could Just Dye!

This book...



...has a recipe for dyeing yarn with a faux ikat technique to make it look like clouds when knitted up.†

Now, the way Ms. LaBelle does it, she gets two skeins of yarn: one she dyes solid blue, the other she reskeins into a giant loop and wraps plastic wrap around bits of it at random intervals, tying either side of each piece of plastic wrap with lengths of acrylic yarn to seal off the ends. When you dye that skein, you get white bits where the plastic wrap was.

In her world, you then knit two rows with the solid skein and three rows with the ikatted skein. Theoretically, this gives you that cloud pattern.

In her world, you also use kool-aid.‡

In her world, you also knit mittens.

Welcome to Marin's world.

I figured§ with the very cool peg board dyeing rack Father made me, I could forego the separate skeins and just set it up so I would, in effect, knit two blue rounds and three whited rounds.

I also figured I'd knit socks¶... for Father, to show him the good use his gift was going to.

I also wanted to make sure the toes and heel were solid,# so I dyed some tiny little blue skeins separately so I could be sure to get that effect.

I also used Jacquard Acid Dyes. No pussy kool-aid shit for this dangermouse.

I wound the nude skeins of yarn†† into balls so I could work with them easier, with less entanglement.‡‡

So, anyway... I knitted a little more than a toe to gauge a couple of things:

1. How much total yarn does a toe take? (so I can dye some solid-coloured toe and heel yarn)
2. How much yarn in one round? (so I can determine how to get three rounds then two rounds to mimic the pattern put forth in the book)
3. Also? Gauge. I gauged my gauge.

[SUMMARY: A couple should be two, and I should be able to count to two. Life is full of disappointment.]

Having determined a round was approximately 32", I proceeded to wind three 32" diameter bits, followed by two 32" diameter bits. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Only now that I type that, I think I should have wound 16" diameter bits. Now I'm questioning my methods in a big, bad way.

Did I measure a round or a row?

Should I *ever* be allowed to do my own math?

Huh.

So, anyway... I wound them up...




...then I put the plastic wrap resist on the appropriate portion...




Cat for Scale helped.§§




I tossed the yarn in to soak...¶¶




...and mixed some dye. The directions say a teaspoon of powder dyes four ounces of fibre a nice, deep colour. I assumed I had 50 or 100 grams of fibre. I had no idea how that translated,## so I decided a teaspoon of dye powder was the way to go.

I thought I purchased a sky blue dye, but it turns out I just had blue. Like crayon blue. So I used about 3/4 tsp of blue and 1/4 tsp of yellow.




Then I dipped a napkin in to get an idea of how it would look on the yarn.

"Keep in mind," said the book, "your yarn will be darker..."




So I decided to use only about half the dye, since I was going for sky-at-10:00-am rather than sky-at-10:00-pm.

Can I just tell you how magic it is when the dye exhausts? I've read and heard dozens of casually tossed "when the dye exhausts..." or "my dye didn't exhaust this time..." and it all seemed so blasé, so take-it-for-granted.

It's not. It's pure magic.

You have this big ol' pot of blue kool-aid lookin' stuff and your yarn is getting just a little blue††† when you toss in a glug of vinegar. Within minutes, the water is clearing to a pale, swimming pool blue. Then *poof!* No colour. You have blueblueblue yarn swimming in crystal clear water.




Magic, I tell you.

Then I found there were some white areas in the yarn, so I decided to add a bit of dye and a bit of vinegar, which worked really well, only I dumped the dye over on the kitchen counter. Turns out Barkeeper's Friend scrubs the dye right off.

So, anyway... I let the yarn sit overnight and rinsed it in the morning.




Then I hung it up in the unused mystery bathroom to dry.




See the ikat resist?




Because I wound it in twos and three around two pegs, it was still a pain in the ass to wind up, though not full yarn barf.

Here are my blue balls§§§:




And here is the beginnings of the Sky Sox. I actually thought of a really clever name for them as I was drifting off to sleep last night, only I can't... WAIT! Mare's Tail¶¶¶ Socks! That's what I thought of.

So, anyway... here are the beginnings of the Mare's Tail socks. The little pagoda toes are because I did a round before beginning my increases accidentally. If you put them on your feet, they smooth out fine and look like normal socks.###




Close up so you can see the tiny, wispy bits of cloud.




Next time:

Next time, I will only do one big wind, not the twos and threes.

Next time, I will go for more white.

Next time, I will do very few white bits shorter than two inches, because I'm developing an inordinate number of single-stitch clouds as the socks progress.

Next time, I will be wind the ikat plastic looser, because it doesn't have to be airtight and you### can accidentally cut your yarn while trying to remove skin-tight Saran Wrap†††† with scissors.

[SUMMARY: How educational, AntiM.]

So, yes, I believe there will be a next time.

A NOTE TO THOSE OF YOU IN THE GREATER DENVERISH AREA AND OUTLYING COMMUNITIES:

Tomorrow night is Bobmas Eve, the celebration of the anniversary of Ravelry. We will be drinking celebrating from 6:00ish to 9:00ish (pm) at Patrick Carroll's, 3963 Tennyson Street, across from the inimitable Posh, a Yarn Boutique. It is rumoured Sylvia might be moving Thursday night Stitch Therapy across to the bar in observance of the holiday.

Join us!


†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Theoretically.

‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Or food colouring, maybe.

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): No good ever comes of me figuring.

¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): I'm so torn in the naming: Sky Sox or Tiny Fluffy Clouds? Both have the benefit of being obscure references. Maybe Sky Sox for Dad's and make myself or Brother a pair under the "Little Fluffy Clouds" banner.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): I love that look -- like the stockings hung by the chimney with care in every holiday colouring book I had when I was a kid.

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): You think I'm going to say something saucy about "nude," don't you? Nope. Just here to tell you it's a superwash merino silk bamboo blend that's really lovely and soft and 100% machine washable AND dryable. How often does that happen? About as often as you find a man who's the perfect mixture of gentleman and pervert, that's how often.

‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): Less entanglement. Heh. You'd think that'd be my watchword, both in yarn and in life. That's pretty deep for a footnote.

§§FOOTNOTE (wind the yarn over and over and over...): This picture is a stunningly accurate representation of what happened. I turned my back for a moment as he was delicately pawing the yarn on the floor. When I turned back, he was scarfing down yarn as fast as he could stuff it in his mouth. He has never eaten yarn in the entire time I've known him, but it was clear he knew he shouldn't be and was going for maximum broke before I would turn around and stop him.

¶¶FOOTNOTE (like pegs on a pegboard): Note the seemingly excessive number of yarns. I used red bits for the ikat thing, and used orange to keep the skeins orderly. Lots of orange. I've heard too many horror stories about cheerfully dyed yarn that came out yarn barf.

##FOOTNOTE (pounded like the pavement): Hell, I had a 100% margin of error on how much I was dyeing. It's a lead pipe cinch I wasn't paying that close of attention to my numbers.

†††FOOTNOTE (there's that hill I can never say right): Aw, it's OK, little yarn. Spring is here. The flowers will be up soon.

‡‡‡FOOTNOTE (surgery!): Which I'm not sure you have to do with superwash. My impression is that you don't want to shock or felt your yarn by changing temperatures drastically, and there wouldn't be a worry of that with the superwash. But I followed directions like a good girl anyway.

§§§FOOTNOTE (...and over and over and over): If you didn't snicker at that, please turn in your Brainless Twelvehood card at the door.

¶¶¶FOOTNOTE (three socks? Why?): Mare's tails are wispy little clouds that look like horse tails blowing in the breeze. My dad told me many years ago they signal good flying weather. As the girl who is storing "Darjeeling means land of the thunderbolt" as her death-bed statement, I retained that. One day last summer, we were taking a break from landscaping his yard and I looked up and said, "Mare's tails. Good day for flying." Dad looked at me in wonderment.

"You *do* listen when I talk."

"Sometimes!" I replied, cheerfully, and went back to looking at the clouds.

###FOOTNOTE (poundpoundpound): And by, "you," I mean, "I."

††††FOOTNOTE (how many crosses does one blog need?): There! I said it! Damn the tyranny of the brand name two-step! Saran Wrap! SARAN WRAP! Ahahahahahahahahah!