The Pie Makers

Which sounds like the title of a highly acclaimed runner-up for the Man Booker Award or something.†

Definitely soon to be a major motion picture starring Kate Winslet.








Actually, Tallest, Hairiest Nephew and I baked a cherry pie‡ while Dr. Doom was at soccer practice.§

But they *so* look capable of pie making, don't they?¶

I had to tell them the old-people-nostalgia story of how their father was exactly the same way, and back when we still had film in our cameras,# it would cost me oodles to foot the bill for the film we had to go through so he could make faces for 20 frames before we got down to one good, serious shot.

Then I had to explain the word "hereditary" to them.

Also "evolution."††

Trying to build hope for the future, one nephew at a time.‡‡


†FOOTNOTE (crossed): My old book club would definitely swoon for it.

‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Handmade crust and all. Skillz... we has them.

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): And I went to his soccer game this weekend. He is not a soccer talent. Brother says worse than usual, but I notice a certain sibling tendency that includes a complete lack of awareness of the ball and such joys as watching clouds while the game is going on around him.

¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): My tongue is firmly planted in my cheek.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): You kids get off my lawn!

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Next time, we'll explore "nature vs. nurture."

‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): Aren't they handsome creatures, soccer and pies aside?

Dr. Doom Dissects an Eyeball

From: "Brother"
To: "Marin" (et al)
Sent: Monday, May 16, 2011 7:09:55 PM
Subject: Eye Dissection

Hey Guys -

As a preferred younger sibling, Victor got to go to CJ's class last week to dissect eyeballs and CJ's teacher just posted this picture on her blog. Pretty cool.

-B

*************
Sometimes when you have an older brother, the world is a much cooler place.




Go ahead... click for big.

Dr. Doom and the Tongue of Steering

Now for something completely different.†

Friday was Dr. Doom's birthday. As My-Former-Sister-In-Law-Let's-Just-Call-Her-Elizabeth‡ had the boys starting Friday, our side§ of the family celebrated Thursday night.

The nephews got their Nintendo 3DSs that night. Tallest Hairiest Nephew is going to have a meager birthday in August,¶ but I suspect he thinks it's worth it.#




This, by the way, is a family trait††:




†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Thank goodness. The whole dead cat thing was too grey to leave at the top of the page for too long.

‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Anybody want to start a pool on how long I will continue to think that's funny? Also note, that's what I call her when I talk about her IRL. Like, with my mouth.

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Plus the Wicked Stepmother, who I suspect is her own side.

¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): The boys also got golf clubs, and since we're heading into golf season, THN got all his big birthday presents Thursday.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Mostly because he said, "AntiM, you've made me the happiest kid in the whole world!"

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): His grandfather would have you believe it came from his grandmother's side, but I have pictures that would prove this is a homozygous congenitality. I may have just made that last word up.

My Friends at Nintendo in Seattle

Some of you may remember how tired I got of SXSW on The Twitter.

Sorry. There's a chance I was at least that annoying during the Nintendo Ambassador Roundup.†

But, guys, it was SO COOL.

For one, being treated like one is important actually lends to the illusion that one is actually important, and for this one, those illusions are what makes the world go 'round.‡

For two, it was amazing meeting people who are in this particular boat with me.

Many of you may not believe this, but I'm actually kind of shy around people I don't know. I started to dread the whole thing somewhere over Nevada.

Shouldn't have worried.

Brand About Town, a marketing company that does a fantastic job for Nintendo,* flew us in to Seattle Thursday, March 31. There was a reception Thursday night that started out nerve-wracking for me, then became enlightening.

There were *guys* there.

Just for starters.

I came into the Nintendo Ambassador thing under the Girls' Guide to Gaming, which was a marketing push to women who weren't necessarily video gamers.§ The idea was to show that there is more to the Nintendo family than shooting aliens and playing football. You don't have to be a teenage boy to enjoy a nice gaming system.

They created a comfortable, supportive, fun environment for us to try out their product and learn just how much we could get out of it.

Turns out, before there were Girls being Guided in Gaming, there were Wii Families. Somewhere along the line, there were mommy bloggers. And I think there was a sort of community effort, since a couple of people I met got involved via a Boys & Girls Club-type program and through working in a nursing home.

Yeah, this is the kind of stuff that trips my trigger.

Friday, we spent the day at Nintendo America HQ. This pic was provided by Brand About Town as maybe the only sanctioned photo of the building:




You'll note this isn't from our trip. You can tell because there's blue sky. Our trip looked more like this:¶




But none of that matters when you're inside with a bunch of Nintendo nerds and the latest technotoy.

This is Jen. Jen lives in Nederland# and has a food-ish blog. She is a professional photographer, so you really wish you were following her because her pictures are probably much better.




Now, our photog rules were pretty strict but simple: photos only inside the rumpus room, and 3D must be turned off if you take pics of the game. So here's a 2D Nintendog for you:




The 3D-without-glasses on the Nintendo 3DS works basically the same as a View Master. It's essentially an electronic stereopticon. Paired images push your eyes to focus in such a way that it brings depth to the image.††

Besides the 3D gaming, there is a 3D camera and 3D video viewer. We played with those too.

Actually, we played with eight different games in much the same setting as my Girls' Guide to Gaming experience: comfy couches, games to play with and a Nintendo expert to help light the way.




This was our tour guide for Street Fighter. He was nice and helpful,‡‡ but as it turns out I'm a Street Fighter savant, I didn't need too much hand-holding on that one.




I appreciate the 3D on the game, though my tendency to steer the game and wiggle like a banked trout as I beat the snot out of a fellow ambassador can diminish the effect a little.§§ The 3D wasn't the most impressive part to me, though.

I really like the StreetPass feature. You build a Mii avatar for yourself, then if you turn on the communications and allow the flow of information, if you pass someone who has a Nintendo 3DS with StreetPass up and running, it swaps your Miis. The Miis carry puzzle pieces and act as heroes to save your Mii from a dungeon.¶¶

OK, that sounds dorky and weird, but it's very cool. And I tell you, I almost kissed a stranger when I got my first StreetPass friend outside the Nintendo gathering. It was like finding a hundred dollar bill in a rest stop bathroom.

The thing that really blew my mind, though, was the AR cards.% They're freakin' magic. That's all there is to it: magic. How can you play a whole series of games by pointing the camera at a question mark on a card?^

Now, for your dining pleasure, here's the montage of People Enjoying the Nintendo 3DS.##





The President and COO of Nintendo of America, cult figure††† Reggie Fils-Aime, talked to us for awhile about the company and the Nintendo 3DS itself. I'm impressed with the conscience Nintendo showed in testing the 3D and its effect on kids' eyes. Plus, great parental controls.‡‡‡




I also love that the employees I talked to call him "Reggie" and speak like they're basically buddies.+ Not in a creepy, bootlicking way, either. I get the feeling Nintendo is a fabulous place to work.

And I couldn't take pictures, but their building is beautiful and comfortable. Sustainable and green, of course, with really nice bamboo floors. There's a great cafeteria§§§ and a floor that's just for hanging out, meeting and - with a rooftop deck$ - getting a little fresh air.

OTHER COOL THINGS ABOUT THE NINTENDO AMERICA HQ:

1. The building is square and is divided into four equal parts. Each part is represented by a colour and a Nintendo character. It's kinda like airport parking garages, where you remember your car is parked on the blue bear level or the red boot level.
2. There is a Panaboard in one of the conference rooms.& I really, really wanted to play with the Panaboard, but there were enemy ships to sink.
3. Speaking of conference rooms, they're named for iconic game characters and elements.>
   
4. The male/female icons on the bathrooms are Mario character silhouettes rather than those Fisher Price armless people we usually see.

We got a chance to tour the building with a couple of Nintendo employees, who gave us some Nintendo history and personal insight into the company.

Then we got to go shopping in the Nintendo employees' store.¶¶¶

Friday night, there was a small reception while we gathered to have the buses take us to a nice dinner. I went to Anthony's, which is a Seattle chain and maybe not the most avant-garde choice I could make, but I went for the view.




And the fish.###




The trip was a total success for me and I'm excited all over again about the state and direction of technology.

Particularly in technology that makes me the coolest aunt in the world.


†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Of course, my trip only lasted a couple of days. SXSW was, like, six months.

‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): I may be needier than I like to admit.

*FOOTNOTE (yes, an asterisk): By the way, as cool as it was to find out about Nintendo, I'd like to spend some quality time with Brand About Town people. I suspect their jobs are very, very cool.

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): You may recall the series of ads with actresses and their kids and friends. I've never felt so close to Lisa Kudrow.

¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): In the half-dozen times I've been to Seattle, this is the first time I've ever seen rain. I was beginning to think the rain stereotype was a way to keep tourists away. Kinda like how we use snow in Denver. By the way, that's the company soccer pitch we're walking toward. Yes, there is a Nintendo company soccer pitch.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): A rogue suburb of Boulder.

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Go look it up if you want something more scientific.

‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): And cute!

§§FOOTNOTE (dizziness): You pretty much have to be looking at it straight on or you can see the pictures split. It's disconcerting to be shooting ships from your submarine and you tilt to allow for the motion of the ocean and suddenly you're drunk and seeing two of everything. Other people may not have this problem.

¶¶FOOTNOTE (Street Fighter combo - trust me): And you can earn HATS for your Mii.

%FOOTNOTE (percented): Augmented Reality. We could all use a little Augmented Reality, couldn't we?

^FOOTNOTE (careted): MAGIC! Weren't you paying attention?

##FOOTNOTE (couple of extra pounds *ahem*): Insert inspirational soundtrack here. Also: see the fourth picture? That's Sarah and Sammy. Sarah's lots of fun. I'm following her on The Twitter at @pinkshoe. And I don't have a pic of here, but Erini at @myadorkablelife is also on my list. In case you want to be like me.

†††FOOTNOTE (Cross in 3D): When what you say sparks and Internet meme ("My body is ready"), you earn cult figure status. Plus, people who know better than I term his COO-ship at Nintendo the Reggielution. That's cult status.

‡‡‡FOOTNOTE (3DDoubleCross): When you want to be sure the Keepers of the Nephews don't cut off your supply, you're very sensitive to things like "age-appropriate" and "parental controls."

+FOOTNOTE (plussed): One of our tour guides told us that when Reggie's in his office, people go by waving their Nintendo 3DSs hoping to get his Mii on their StreetPass. THAT'S cult status.

§§§FOOTNOTE (3DSwirly): With the coolest soda machine ever. A little elevator travels up to your choice (A12, for instance) and slides under it, then moves down, then right, then angles your drink so it slides at a 45-deg angle into the delivery slot, where it is presented to you. I could have spent all day plugging dollars into the machine and watching it. I may be Nintendo's perfect Guinea pig.

$FOOTNOTE (moneyed): A *living* rooftop. Plus, the conference room and areas up there are named after Prisoner of Zelda characters.

&FOOTNOTE (ampersanded): Maybe in all of them. I was only in one, and it had a Panaboard.

>FOOTNOTE (greatered): My favourite: Another Castle.

¶¶¶FOOTNOTE (Paragraph in 3D): A certain indulgent aunt may have purchased two Nintendo 3DS's for certain indulged nephews.

###FOOTNOTE (3DPound): The fish is wearing a Seattle Mariner's cap, for those of you scoring at home.

How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love the Scarf

Last year, when Edison Elementary held its second annual EdFest† Silent Auction fundraiser, I went. I bought. I volunteered to donate a knitted item this year.

Last Monday, Brother contacted me and said, "I know it's short notice, but Saturday is EdFest."‡

There's a lot of disorganisation and misorganisation and drunkenness§ in the spaces between, but keeping a long story short,¶ I volunteered to give a gift certificate for a scarf.

Thus:





For those of you who don't read mangledese, it says "One pick-your-own-adventure scarf: I'll sit down with the winner over a cup of coffee, a beer or a glass of wine (my treat) and we'll design a scarf for you. Pick your fiber, texture and colour and I'll make it all come true."

Lisa, the appropriate committee member, asked if I had pictures or samples to go with the bid sheet. I sent some pics off Ravelry, but, of course, I don't keep anything I knit.

This whole exchange took place Thursday afternoon.

Thursday night, I had one of my frighteningly brilliant ideas:# find the school mascot and colours and knit a scarf for a toy version of the mascot in those colours. Y'know... just to have something tangible on the table.

Don't think I wasn't hoping they were the Edison R2D2s.††

Turns out they're the Edison Eagles, and their colours are blue and gold-yellow, much like my beloved Denver Nuggets.‡‡

I woke up early Friday knowing I had to find an eagle.§§ Fortunately, as an inveterate shopper with two nephews, I had a good idea of where to find a stuffed eagle.

Bless you, Kazoo & Company.

I ran to a couple of yarn stores.¶¶

At 2:00, I was home, done with lunch and casting on.

Perhaps the next time I'm on a tight deadline, I'll remember that it's not the best time to try a new technique.

At 1:00 Saturday morning, I gave up my double-knitting project. It wasn't horrible. It was just in dire need of blocking,## and I knew there was no way I'd finish the scarf, soak it and have it completely dry before I had to take it to Lisa on Saturday afternoon.

So... I got up at 7:00 Saturday morning and started knitting a new - simpler - scarf for the eagle.

Ta-daaa!




When we got to the fundraiser at 7:00, there was a bid down on the scarf, which tickled the grits out of me, as I wasn't sure how it would represent in a bidding situation. Brother noted that he was up-bidding it because he decided he needed a scarf.†††

In the end, it turned out someone outbid Brother, so I'm feeling all HKIC and shit.%

When the Auction Committee sobers up and tells me who won the scarf, I'll let y'all know. Sounds like it could be fun.‡‡‡

Plus, I'd already told Brother he had the hook-up even if he didn't win the auction scarf.§§§

So, sing it with me: "STILL A KNITBLOG."


†FOOTNOTE (crossed): "EdFest" in my world has a whole lot more Tom Cavanaugh in it, but that's OK.

‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Paraphrasing. Brother was more cognizant than that.

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Oddly enough, not on my part. The mis-, the dis- OR the drunk.

¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): As my college boyfriend always said, "Too late."

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): I'm not tooting my own horn. It's not that I have ideas so brilliant as to be frightening. No, it's that the ideas that seem so brilliant pan out to be ironically, sarcastically so and it's frightening I continue to believe in my own brilliance.

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Think of it... one tiny Star Wars action figure with a couple of tufts of blue and gold yarn...

‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): Which led to a funny moment at Fancy Tiger when a very sweet (possibly gay, probably artistic, undoubtedly oblivious to sports) boy asked if he could help and I told him I was looking for fingering- or sport-weight yarn in blue and gold, like Denver Nuggets colours. I could almost hear the panic shutting down his organs. He pointed out every skein of yarn in the right gauge, I suspect hoping I'd make up my own mind about what "Denver Nuggets colours" meant.

§§FOOTNOTE (double confusing): There is nothing quite like waking up on your day off knowing you have to find an eagle.

¶¶FOOTNOTE (double the fun): I found my yarn at the first store, but as my brother says, I have a problem. Plus, I have a very weird upcoming knitting project (foreshadowing!) I wanted to get a jump on. In a very researchy, I-probably-didn't-need-to-buy-six-sets-of-square-needles way.

##FOOTNOTE (double the pounds): AntiM's helpful knitting tip #237: Double-knitting pulls the knitted piece in (much like cabling does) and makes your very straight scarf look like an hourglass.

†††FOOTNOTE (is it Lent again already?): Because His Girl Cindy told him he should get a scarf to go with his new Hugo Boss cashmere jacket and he made grumpy faces and stuff. Then he went to NYC and saw that everybody was wearing a scarf and decided it wasn't a bad idea.

%FOOTNOTE (percented): Head Knitta in Charge, in case you forgot.

‡‡‡FOOTNOTE (Frankenstein's blogster): Or a complete nightmare. But I'm an optimist. Or, as Cornel West said on Twitter, "But I'm not an optimist, that's too thin...I'm a prisoner of #hope."

§§§FOOTNOTE (three esses make a full circle, right?): When we discussed particulars, it boiled down to "a tweedy/heathered charcoal in a muffler length." Then I got an update from Colourmart (home of all things cashmere) Sunday mid-day that said they had a shipment of Hugo Boss cashmere just in. So even though Brother didn't win the scarf, Brother absolutely won a scarf. Here's the yarn; its colour is called "Derby":

The Moment You've All Been Waiting For

At least it's the moment I've been dying to share with you.†

[SUMMARY: Po-tay-to, po-tah-to.]

I shan't drag you through the litany of "stuck in the camera" and "busy at work" and all that. You know the song, I'll let you sing it on your own.

Suffice to say I finished Dr. Doom's Christmas sweater around the end of January,‡ then through the vagaries of joint custody, finally got it to him mid-February.

I took the basic top-down raglan sweater,§ I've been using for everything Nephew, added a textured alligator belly through the miracle of intarsia-in-the-round, then winged it on the sleeves.¶

%





It was the winging it part that really mucked up the works.

There I'd be in my chair at work, madly correcting, explaining, marketing, e-schmoozing and otherwise getting the job done, when suddenly, sleeve panic would hit me and I'd start doing the alligator thing with my elbows,# using paper clips to mark the place where alligator lips should be and re-figuring where alligator mouth should go...

[SUMMARY: Every person does multi-tasking in his own way.]

Is it any wonder I was so absent for so long? I had a lot going on.

In the end, I think it worked out pretty well.




But the true test is how it works for Dr. Doom.

[SUMMARY: Proof, meet pudding.]

First, getting naked in Chipotle.††




Then test-driving the beast.






Why, arm, what big teeth you have!




Let's see, important knitting stuff:

First, this is the proudest knitting moment of my knitterly life. It's the closest I've come to designing something, and it's something unique and cool and interesting and wowing and I'm just so tickled.

The sweater was originally inspired by this genius shirt from the Discovery Channel Store. I quickly realised that a white and pale grey shirt was no match for a five-year-old supervillain, so I decided to go with the classic gator.

Other than the pupils of the eyes, which are Dark Horse Fantasy, the whole thing is knit in Cascade 220 Superwash.

I made nose-holes‡‡ of I-cord loops.

The eyes took as long as the rest of the sweater put together. I had alligator eyes all over my living room for weeks. When one gets a solid vision of what one wants, it's hard for one to accept anything different.§§

One thing I believe the pattern misses, and that I missed too, is that when you put the sleeve stitches on holders to knit the body, you cast on an inch under the arm.

Which - and this is very important - adds two inches to the body of the sweater.

[SUMMARY: Math even I can do.]

On the one hand, I was delighted to get gauge. On the other, getting gauge meant I was the full two inches bigger than I wanted.

I had planned to sew up the sides, take out a couple of inches, but figured I'd better try it on the good Doctor first.¶¶ Yes, it's just a bit too big.

The neck is also big, being unfinished. I knit a nice 3-2 rib collar about 37 times and it always seemed too small.## So I left it unfinished for maximum headroom. Yes, it's just a bit too big.

I told Brother I wanted to take it home and finish it properly and he assured me Doom will be wearing a t-shirt under it most of the time, so aesthetically it's OK.

[SUMMARY: Aesthetics are what you're looking for in a sweater for a five-year-old.]

I don't know if he doesn't want to put me out or if he's afraid they'll never see it if I get my grubby hands on it again.

Hey! We've had a fair amount of knitting around here lately. You'd almost think this was still a knitblog.


†FOOTNOTE (crossed): And, y'know, it's all about me. And my lamp.

‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): And I would've finished it *much* faster if Dr. Doom hadn't given me a VERY COMPELLING game for my Nintendo DS for Christmas. *ahem*

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): And I'm not sure why I keep using this one, except that it's familiar. The sizing is all wrong, vis-a-vis boys S-M-L. I always ask Brother to measure a shirt that fits, then try to match the inches from there.

¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Wing... sleeves... heheheheheh... I'm funny.

%FOOTNOTE (percented): With the new office, I no longer have a clean white wall behind a hanger to photograph my sweaters. Whatever shall I do now?

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Sound effect: "RAWR!"

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Note the find cow hat on Brother's head, a Valentine's present from his favourite Seester. He brings me Icelandic sludge and lopi, I bring him cow hats.

‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): nostrils-nose holes ... to-may-to, to-mah-to.

§§FOOTNOTE (twisted definition time): Read: lesser.

¶¶FOOTNOTE (you can beat it into my head): I may not be a math genius, but I do have my moments of clarity.

##FOOTNOTE (square head, round hole, pound pound): Which I determined by trying to fit it over my own head, under the suspicion that heads grow less than anything else in a person's life, therefore kid heads must be nearly as large adult heads.

Birthday: the Last Gasp

Do you feel it?

There!

That change in the air, that specific tang to the breeze, the way the light slants just so?

That's birthday season coming to a close.

[SUMMARY: Drama R Us.]

Thus I present the final photos and a eulogy for the glittering phoenix that is My Birthday.

As previously mentioned, Nathan sent a small truckload of chocolates to the office so I could share. Which I did.

Really.

Because I'm a *giver*.

Fortunately, the people in my office are pathologically opposed to taking the last of anything, so I got at least one of each kind. My review: *grrrgle*

Fran's Chocolates make Godiva look like Hershey's.†




I love the heavy, rich boxes and Miami strip club-worthy‡ satin ribbons.

But mostly I love the chocolate. I had apricots, ginger, coconut, almonds and caramels.

And figs.




I didn't really share the figs so much. One might say I didn't share them at all.

I did let Hans look at them.




They're stuffed with dark chocolate ganache and dipped in dark chocolate and *grrrgle*...

[SUMMARY: Experiencing technical difficulties.]

Juno sent me this perfume, which smells like nutmeg and cloves and vanilla and is not nearly as sugary as you might think from this description. It's rich and ever-so-slighly understated and makes you snork your wrist as you try to go about your business.§

And just look at the kick-ass bottle.¶




She even wrapped it up in pretty pink paper.

[SUMMARY: From candy to candy-coating.#]

Speaking of spiders††...

The nephews got me what they hoped would be a remote controlled nightmare.




I had to explain that I'm not so much afraid of tarantulas. It's MEDIUM-SIZED spiders that get me.

Tiny little dance-on-the-head-of-a-pin spiders, no big deal. Tarantulas are basically eight-legged gerbils.‡‡ Medium-sized spiders are forever scuttling out of corners, dangling over my head at dinner, hiding in the sheets when I get into bed at night...

*shudder*










That clicking at the end is me trying to get the tarantula to turn around, but the batteries were dead.§§

Let's see... Dad got me a family membership here. Brother got me two tickets for this. Aunt Chris sent a gift card. I got many cards and greetings and well-wishes and comments.¶¶

All in all, a delightful birthday season, but over.

[SUMMARY: Alas.]

Time to pack away the birthday suit## until next birthday season.


†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Please note that none of these things is in the least bit bad, just some are gooder than others.

‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Let's all thank Hans; I'll never look at satin the same way again.

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): By "you," I mean, "I."

¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): I took a picture of my own bottle but somehow managed to miss it in the Blogger upload. So I kyped this from a website. It's probably just as well. Mine has nose prints all over its shiny black surface.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): If you cloak a black widow in pretty pink paper, are you not candy-coating in a metaphorical sense?

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Yes, we were.

‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): Which is not to say if a gerbil scuttled across the kitchen floor from a dark and hidden place I wouldn't scream like a girl and possibly wet myself. Sneakiness and the scuttling really get me. But medium-sized spiders freak me out on sight.

§§FOOTNOTE (turn! turn!): I can't imagine why. We only played with it for about an hour on my birthday.

¶¶FOOTNOTE (see? I'm tearing up from the beauty of it all): Thank you. I love you all.

##FOOTNOTE (those may be extra chocolate pounds): Y'know... like when you clean your sweaters and put them in a space bag for the summer.

Evolution on Easter†

Once upon a time of changing family dynamics,‡ two boys went to the Denver Museum of Nature & Science with their dad, their grandpa and their dear ol' AntiM.

Every exhibit started with a movie.§

In the Space Odyssey, there was a really boring movie with no rockets or asteroid fields or supernovas and some of the grown ups¶ in the group wondered how in the hell the museum planned to keep kids interested.




Fortunately, Dave Cuomo showed up# and saved the day with a reasonably engaging Q&A about what hurricanes and big cities and Dubai look like from space.

Then the happy family went out amongst the displays and interactive educational experiences and played to their collective hearts' content. Tallest Hairiest Nephew liked to push buttons -- any buttons -- and Dr. Doom went to the museum to shoot things.

One toy they all played with was the shooting-metal-balls-into-the-sand thingie.††




A video recorder captured all the scientific action, after which whomever was big enough and strong enough to muscle everybody else away from the controls could watch it backwards and in slow motion.

This is what it looked like when AntiM shot the ball into the sand‡‡:




What scientific lesson was to be learned from this was unclear, but it was button-pushing, shooting-stuff, video-editing fun for the whole family.

Once Space Odyssey ceased to capture the attention of certain short attention spanketeers,§§ they moved on to the Prehistoric Journey, more fondly known as "dinosaurs."

Of course, no self-respecting prehistoric exhibit gives you dinosaurs right off the bat. AntiM and the boys puttered through many dioramas of trilobites and the crinoids and brachiopods they lived and loved with in the Cambrian world.¶¶

They learned one very important thing:




"Well, duh," said AntiM.

"What?" asked Tallest Hairiest Nephew.

"What? Nothing!" said AntiM.

"You said, 'duh.' Duh what?"

"Where's your dad?"##

So they moved on to the dinosaur bone room††† where they were just in time to catch the dinosaur repairman‡‡‡ with that part that was ordered nearly a year ago.§§§




"Yay!" said the intrepid explorers.

They headed to the rock exhibit, where there were no good picutres to be had. Then Dr. Doom announced he was ready to go home.¶¶¶

They lunched on crackers and ham and tiny carrots and Danish puff### and lived happily ever after.

The End


†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Am I going to hell for the evolution thing or bridging the worlds of science and theology through my saintly works?

‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Understatement of the century.

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): The dinosaur movie had a narrator with a mild speech impediment. I said, "Mawiage..." and Brother and I giggled madly.

¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): And I use the term loosely.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): OK, it wasn't actually Dave Cuomo, but it LOOKED like Dave Cuomo, it SOUNDED like Dave Cuomo and it even LAUGHED like Dave Cuomo. I went to college with Dave Cuomo. Turns out Dave Cuomo looks, sounds and laughs a lot like Dustin Hoffman.

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): I have better pictures, but I like this one because Brother looks like a light bulb.

‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): That would be a video of a video, which I'm pretty sure is meta.

§§FOOTNOTE (don't get confused): Span-keteer, not spank-eteer. That's a whole other subject, which I'm pretty sure shouldn't involve my five-year-old nephew.

¶¶FOOTNOTE (bunny ears!): My version of the Cambrian world resembles Peyton Place more than the Burgess Shale.

##FOOTNOTE (pounding a dead horse): To Brother: "I get saint points for today, right?"

"I think you get saint points if you actually come back from the dead on Easter."

"Did you *see* me Friday night?"

†††FOOTNOTE (Oh, Golgotha): That would be the room where the dinosaur bones are, rather than the room where dinosaurs go to bone. Though that would be interesting too.

‡‡‡FOOTNOTE (wires are crossed): You get an appointment and they say, "Some time between ten am and five pm and you go out real quick to drop the mail off and you come back to a tag flapping on your front door that says, "Sorry we missed you"...

§§§FOOTNOTE (giddy with laughter): I crack me up.

¶¶¶FOOTNOTE (bunny hops!): Which is a little like pulling the pin from a grenade.

###FOOTNOTE (pounding the pastry): Danish puff is something that Mom used to make almost every Easter. It has almost no sugar, about a pound of butter and enough almond extract to disguise a gallon of cyanide. It's the one thing Brother requested for Easter dinner.

Miss Me?

I had a very pleasant and long weekend.†

I haven't time to tell you all about it now,% but I will give a teaser for the rest of the week:

Drinking and dancing and breaking Lent‡ on Friday. You saw the Facebook entry, next -- read the blogpost.§

A stroll down the 16th Street Mall with my main Shanny on Saturday.¶

Sunday in the museum with the Nephews.

PLUS! What's in the trowel drawer? Knitted objects with pretty buttons! Drunken knitting: proof of life! Exotic playthings from distant lands!

[SUMMARY: I am a marketing genius.]

Stay tuned...


†FOOTNOTE (crossed): I always forget that half of corporate America closes down for Good Friday, so I got Friday off and the office closed early on Thursday and I played hooky yesterday. Gotta tell ya -- it's more fun when you feel like you're getting away with something.

%FOOTNOTE (percented): Off to the BLM to work. You are so jealous. You wish your job was as glamourous as mine.

‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Unless I decide to be Catholic, in which case the massive cocktail intake on Friday was simply a normal reaction to the end of Lent on Thursday.

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Also? There are pictures. You won't see them.

¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): I'll show you pictures of that. There's a funny bit with a cross...

A Mare, Egrets, Moose†

Just a few more days and I should be just about caught up.

Small. Subdued. Except, as always,‡ for the Subdude.§

So I have small¶ pictures.#





Pictures of kids are necessary, since Christmas is muchly about the kids.

Pictures of cats are necessary, since if you purport to maintain a knitblog, you must occasionally post a picture of a cat.††

Pictures of Brother are necessary when he is sporting the very festive Batman pajamas.‡‡

Pictures of AntiM and her various adult relatives are NOT necessary§§ when they are adequately represented¶¶ by the Brother picture.

[SUMMARY: Rules were meant to be made up.]

I got skulls in my stocking, and I'm delighted.





Finally, wine charms I can get behind.

[SUMMARY: Wine charms that say "poison" could be very useful.]

I don't want to run down all the loot,## but I did get one very, very blogworthy gift from Jeff's mom:†††




Mrs. Berry% writes entertaining mysteries set in a small southern town. I thought I owned most of them, but it turns out there are a couple I was missing.

Turns out there's one that's NOT EVEN OUT YET that I'm "missing."‡‡‡

Excuse me... WAS missing.§§§

My elitist little heart just goes pitter-pat.

Check out the inscription:




The temptation to take a red pen to it and return it is fierce, but I do have some sense of propriety.¶¶¶

[SUMMARY: Don't look a gift book in the inscription.]

Tomorrow, more exclusive, inside news.###


†FOOTNOTE (crossed): You know... like the Sandra Boynton card. For the record, if you Google "wee fish ewe a mare egrets moose," there are 694 entries. 691 of them are blogheadings. I am an inadvertent sheep.

‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Except that first week he was off afternoon naps. We looked up in the middle of family dinner and said, "Where's Dr. Doom?" He had taken himself to bed. At 6:30. *That's* subdued.

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): If Tallest, Hairiest Nephew is the Dude, it follows that his little brother is the Subdude.

¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Size doesn't count.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Which you can click for big if you just can't get enough of the Batman pajamas.

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Rule 112 (c). For cat. Also? The cat is sitting with the Appalachian birdhouse the nephews got me for Christmas.

‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): I said, "Oh, Dr. Doom, what a great present! I think your dad should go put it on RIGHT NOW, don't you?" That may explain the look on Brother's face.

§§FOOTNOTE (speaking of redundant): And, in fact, would be redundant.

¶¶FOOTNOTE (puts on his pajamas one leg at a time): Probably outdressed.

##FOOTNOTE (oounding home the point): Even my white fig diffuser and my George Hamilton autobiography. No, I'm not making that up... it's the adjunct to my very own copy of Zorro, the Gay Blade.

†††FOOTNOTE (three crosses to bear): Who has played bridge AND Scrabble with me and still clings to the belief that I can read. Bless her heart.

%FOOTNOTE (percented): She will *always* be Mrs. Berry.

‡‡‡FOOTNOTE (how do you diagram that?): I realise the usage is untenable, but I will give up all semblance of grammatical decency to get to the punchline.

§§§FOOTNOTE (§§§ubtle): That's me trying to be subtle.

¶¶¶FOOTNOTE (très, très, très... c'mon -- it's a multilingual pun. I don't have to finish it, do I?): I have no sense of propriety. I'm just trying to ensure I still have a place in Mrs. Berry's heart and a shot at sainthood.

###FOOTNOTE (pounding the celebrity beat): Me and Paris Hilton.