Last night, Brother, Girlthing Cindy and I went to "Becoming Van Gogh" at the Denver Art Museum.
Van Gogh's early career was steeped, both geographically and philosophically, in the Dutch manner. He worked in somber, earthy colours and his subject matter tended to be the common man, his pursuits and detritus.
Stick with me, the story gets better.
It was when he joined his brother, Theo, in Paris, that he began to immerse himself in the colour and - for lack of a better word - whimsy of the French style of the time.
A part of the exhibit talks about how colour pairs and defines and blends and contrasts, and how Van Gogh explained this to his brother. There was a box of yarn under glass by the colour wheels. The placard above it explained that, somehow, in his pursuit of colour theory education, he found that he could twist different colours of yarn together to see how they would play.
I nudged Brother, pointed to the display, and said, "Yarn!"
"Huh. Van Gogh had a stash too," he said.
Van Gogh and I both indulged in yarn stash.
And we both had little brothers who were, ultimately, teachable.
Showing posts with label Still a Knitblog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Still a Knitblog. Show all posts
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love the Scarf
Last year, when Edison Elementary held its second annual EdFest† Silent Auction fundraiser, I went. I bought. I volunteered to donate a knitted item this year.
Last Monday, Brother contacted me and said, "I know it's short notice, but Saturday is EdFest."‡
There's a lot of disorganisation and misorganisation and drunkenness§ in the spaces between, but keeping a long story short,¶ I volunteered to give a gift certificate for a scarf.
Thus:
For those of you who don't read mangledese, it says "One pick-your-own-adventure scarf: I'll sit down with the winner over a cup of coffee, a beer or a glass of wine (my treat) and we'll design a scarf for you. Pick your fiber, texture and colour and I'll make it all come true."
Lisa, the appropriate committee member, asked if I had pictures or samples to go with the bid sheet. I sent some pics off Ravelry, but, of course, I don't keep anything I knit.
This whole exchange took place Thursday afternoon.
Thursday night, I had one of my frighteningly brilliant ideas:# find the school mascot and colours and knit a scarf for a toy version of the mascot in those colours. Y'know... just to have something tangible on the table.
Don't think I wasn't hoping they were the Edison R2D2s.††
Turns out they're the Edison Eagles, and their colours are blue and gold-yellow, much like my beloved Denver Nuggets.‡‡
I woke up early Friday knowing I had to find an eagle.§§ Fortunately, as an inveterate shopper with two nephews, I had a good idea of where to find a stuffed eagle.
Bless you, Kazoo & Company.
I ran to a couple of yarn stores.¶¶
At 2:00, I was home, done with lunch and casting on.
Perhaps the next time I'm on a tight deadline, I'll remember that it's not the best time to try a new technique.
At 1:00 Saturday morning, I gave up my double-knitting project. It wasn't horrible. It was just in dire need of blocking,## and I knew there was no way I'd finish the scarf, soak it and have it completely dry before I had to take it to Lisa on Saturday afternoon.
So... I got up at 7:00 Saturday morning and started knitting a new - simpler - scarf for the eagle.
Ta-daaa!
When we got to the fundraiser at 7:00, there was a bid down on the scarf, which tickled the grits out of me, as I wasn't sure how it would represent in a bidding situation. Brother noted that he was up-bidding it because he decided he needed a scarf.†††
In the end, it turned out someone outbid Brother, so I'm feeling all HKIC and shit.%
When the Auction Committee sobers up and tells me who won the scarf, I'll let y'all know. Sounds like it could be fun.‡‡‡
Plus, I'd already told Brother he had the hook-up even if he didn't win the auction scarf.§§§
So, sing it with me: "STILL A KNITBLOG."
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): "EdFest" in my world has a whole lot more Tom Cavanaugh in it, but that's OK.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Paraphrasing. Brother was more cognizant than that.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Oddly enough, not on my part. The mis-, the dis- OR the drunk.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): As my college boyfriend always said, "Too late."
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): I'm not tooting my own horn. It's not that I have ideas so brilliant as to be frightening. No, it's that the ideas that seem so brilliant pan out to be ironically, sarcastically so and it's frightening I continue to believe in my own brilliance.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Think of it... one tiny Star Wars action figure with a couple of tufts of blue and gold yarn...
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): Which led to a funny moment at Fancy Tiger when a very sweet (possibly gay, probably artistic, undoubtedly oblivious to sports) boy asked if he could help and I told him I was looking for fingering- or sport-weight yarn in blue and gold, like Denver Nuggets colours. I could almost hear the panic shutting down his organs. He pointed out every skein of yarn in the right gauge, I suspect hoping I'd make up my own mind about what "Denver Nuggets colours" meant.
§§FOOTNOTE (double confusing): There is nothing quite like waking up on your day off knowing you have to find an eagle.
¶¶FOOTNOTE (double the fun): I found my yarn at the first store, but as my brother says, I have a problem. Plus, I have a very weird upcoming knitting project (foreshadowing!) I wanted to get a jump on. In a very researchy, I-probably-didn't-need-to-buy-six-sets-of-square-needles way.
##FOOTNOTE (double the pounds): AntiM's helpful knitting tip #237: Double-knitting pulls the knitted piece in (much like cabling does) and makes your very straight scarf look like an hourglass.
†††FOOTNOTE (is it Lent again already?): Because His Girl Cindy told him he should get a scarf to go with his new Hugo Boss cashmere jacket and he made grumpy faces and stuff. Then he went to NYC and saw that everybody was wearing a scarf and decided it wasn't a bad idea.
%FOOTNOTE (percented): Head Knitta in Charge, in case you forgot.
‡‡‡FOOTNOTE (Frankenstein's blogster): Or a complete nightmare. But I'm an optimist. Or, as Cornel West said on Twitter, "But I'm not an optimist, that's too thin...I'm a prisoner of #hope."
§§§FOOTNOTE (three esses make a full circle, right?): When we discussed particulars, it boiled down to "a tweedy/heathered charcoal in a muffler length." Then I got an update from Colourmart (home of all things cashmere) Sunday mid-day that said they had a shipment of Hugo Boss cashmere just in. So even though Brother didn't win the scarf, Brother absolutely won a scarf. Here's the yarn; its colour is called "Derby":
Last Monday, Brother contacted me and said, "I know it's short notice, but Saturday is EdFest."‡
There's a lot of disorganisation and misorganisation and drunkenness§ in the spaces between, but keeping a long story short,¶ I volunteered to give a gift certificate for a scarf.
Thus:
For those of you who don't read mangledese, it says "One pick-your-own-adventure scarf: I'll sit down with the winner over a cup of coffee, a beer or a glass of wine (my treat) and we'll design a scarf for you. Pick your fiber, texture and colour and I'll make it all come true."
Lisa, the appropriate committee member, asked if I had pictures or samples to go with the bid sheet. I sent some pics off Ravelry, but, of course, I don't keep anything I knit.
This whole exchange took place Thursday afternoon.
Thursday night, I had one of my frighteningly brilliant ideas:# find the school mascot and colours and knit a scarf for a toy version of the mascot in those colours. Y'know... just to have something tangible on the table.
Don't think I wasn't hoping they were the Edison R2D2s.††
Turns out they're the Edison Eagles, and their colours are blue and gold-yellow, much like my beloved Denver Nuggets.‡‡
I woke up early Friday knowing I had to find an eagle.§§ Fortunately, as an inveterate shopper with two nephews, I had a good idea of where to find a stuffed eagle.
Bless you, Kazoo & Company.
I ran to a couple of yarn stores.¶¶
At 2:00, I was home, done with lunch and casting on.
Perhaps the next time I'm on a tight deadline, I'll remember that it's not the best time to try a new technique.
At 1:00 Saturday morning, I gave up my double-knitting project. It wasn't horrible. It was just in dire need of blocking,## and I knew there was no way I'd finish the scarf, soak it and have it completely dry before I had to take it to Lisa on Saturday afternoon.
So... I got up at 7:00 Saturday morning and started knitting a new - simpler - scarf for the eagle.
Ta-daaa!
When we got to the fundraiser at 7:00, there was a bid down on the scarf, which tickled the grits out of me, as I wasn't sure how it would represent in a bidding situation. Brother noted that he was up-bidding it because he decided he needed a scarf.†††
In the end, it turned out someone outbid Brother, so I'm feeling all HKIC and shit.%
When the Auction Committee sobers up and tells me who won the scarf, I'll let y'all know. Sounds like it could be fun.‡‡‡
Plus, I'd already told Brother he had the hook-up even if he didn't win the auction scarf.§§§
So, sing it with me: "STILL A KNITBLOG."
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): "EdFest" in my world has a whole lot more Tom Cavanaugh in it, but that's OK.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Paraphrasing. Brother was more cognizant than that.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Oddly enough, not on my part. The mis-, the dis- OR the drunk.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): As my college boyfriend always said, "Too late."
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): I'm not tooting my own horn. It's not that I have ideas so brilliant as to be frightening. No, it's that the ideas that seem so brilliant pan out to be ironically, sarcastically so and it's frightening I continue to believe in my own brilliance.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Think of it... one tiny Star Wars action figure with a couple of tufts of blue and gold yarn...
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): Which led to a funny moment at Fancy Tiger when a very sweet (possibly gay, probably artistic, undoubtedly oblivious to sports) boy asked if he could help and I told him I was looking for fingering- or sport-weight yarn in blue and gold, like Denver Nuggets colours. I could almost hear the panic shutting down his organs. He pointed out every skein of yarn in the right gauge, I suspect hoping I'd make up my own mind about what "Denver Nuggets colours" meant.
§§FOOTNOTE (double confusing): There is nothing quite like waking up on your day off knowing you have to find an eagle.
¶¶FOOTNOTE (double the fun): I found my yarn at the first store, but as my brother says, I have a problem. Plus, I have a very weird upcoming knitting project (foreshadowing!) I wanted to get a jump on. In a very researchy, I-probably-didn't-need-to-buy-six-sets-of-square-needles way.
##FOOTNOTE (double the pounds): AntiM's helpful knitting tip #237: Double-knitting pulls the knitted piece in (much like cabling does) and makes your very straight scarf look like an hourglass.
†††FOOTNOTE (is it Lent again already?): Because His Girl Cindy told him he should get a scarf to go with his new Hugo Boss cashmere jacket and he made grumpy faces and stuff. Then he went to NYC and saw that everybody was wearing a scarf and decided it wasn't a bad idea.
%FOOTNOTE (percented): Head Knitta in Charge, in case you forgot.
‡‡‡FOOTNOTE (Frankenstein's blogster): Or a complete nightmare. But I'm an optimist. Or, as Cornel West said on Twitter, "But I'm not an optimist, that's too thin...I'm a prisoner of #hope."
§§§FOOTNOTE (three esses make a full circle, right?): When we discussed particulars, it boiled down to "a tweedy/heathered charcoal in a muffler length." Then I got an update from Colourmart (home of all things cashmere) Sunday mid-day that said they had a shipment of Hugo Boss cashmere just in. So even though Brother didn't win the scarf, Brother absolutely won a scarf. Here's the yarn; its colour is called "Derby":
Monday, August 30, 2010
My Life in Munitions Engineering
Christmas my freshman year in college, my father gave me a book called "Discover What You're Best At."† It consisted of a number of sections, each with an SAT/IQ-style test to evaluate the test-taker's proficiency at a career skill like logic, clerical, business acumen.
When I got back to my dorm room in January, I dutifully waited for my roommate to go out catting about‡ so I could have the two hours' required uninterrupted peace to get through the tests. I tested. Carefully, I tallied my scores.
I was off the charts in all categories%... except one.
You know those spatial relations tests? The ones where they show you a bunch of cubes stacked together in a configuration, then ask you to choose which one is the same, but from a different angle? That one, not so much.
Checking my scores against the career possibilities listed in the back of the book, it said I could be anything I set my pointy little head to§ except a mechanical engineer or munitions expert.
It said nothing about modular knitting. Maybe it should have.
As I may have mentioned, I'm knitting two Tamarix Quilt baby blankets¶ for my two favourite# cousins.
Now, you†† can knit the thing in 100 individual squares and sew them all together. Or you can knit it together as you go along and *not* sew 100 individual squares together.
I hear you.
Heather, the designer, is very graciously shepherding@ a KAL on Ravelry. Damned good thing for some of us who are destined never to field strip an AK-47.
There's a tutorial in the magazine, part of the pattern practically, that shows how to knit the whole thing together as you‡‡ go. Problem is, my spatial retardation doesn't allow me to go there without a fight.
First, she gives instructions on how to join a square on the left or on the right. It took me ten minutes to figure out whether it was the new knitting or the old square on the left... but I got that one on my own.
Then I cast on the requisite 39 stitches for a new square, picking them up along the edge of the existing square. Only I didn't think far enough ahead to realise that 39 stitches is two sides of a square, so I should only have picked up 19 or 20 stitches, then cast on the rest. I was halfway through the new square before I realised something was horribly wrong.
THEN, since I was knitting from left to right, it never occurred to me to think right AND left. I assumed if *I* was going from left to right, the only way anything could be done was to join the old knitting on the left end of the new knitting.
NOW I've finished the first row of squares. I told Heather I was planning on knitting ten strips of squares and sewing them together, and she pointed out§§ that I¶¶ could knit the whole thing together as I went along.
*blink blink blink*
I am paralysed. How should I proceed? Should I 1) dive in and try to knit, sometimes joining on two sides, 2) stick with my original ten-strips-and-sew plan, or 3) try building a bridge in my living room for mechanical aptitude practice?^
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Possibly as a reaction to me telling him I was a theatre major.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): I believe it was 2.2 seconds, a statistic to make Porsche jealous. My first roommate was... social.
%FOOTNOTE (percented): Which, by the way, did nothing to help me discover what I was *best* at.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): "Free to Be... You and Me" is earworming me like a mother right now - those Target commercials don't help
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): From the latest Interweave Knits.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): ...and most fertile.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): And by "you," I mean "I."
@FOOTNOTE (atted): Ha! Sheep joke!
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): I
§§FOOTNOTE (I am incapable of straight thinking): Very optimistically, given my proven inability to turn right when the situation called for it.
¶¶FOOTNOTE (beat the drum slowly): And by "I," I mean "Heather or some other munitions expert."
^FOOTNOTE (careted): Or - and I just thought of this one - I could knit in a spiral, forcing me to knit the last square together with FOUR other squares. To gain saint points, of course.
When I got back to my dorm room in January, I dutifully waited for my roommate to go out catting about‡ so I could have the two hours' required uninterrupted peace to get through the tests. I tested. Carefully, I tallied my scores.
I was off the charts in all categories%... except one.
You know those spatial relations tests? The ones where they show you a bunch of cubes stacked together in a configuration, then ask you to choose which one is the same, but from a different angle? That one, not so much.
Checking my scores against the career possibilities listed in the back of the book, it said I could be anything I set my pointy little head to§ except a mechanical engineer or munitions expert.
It said nothing about modular knitting. Maybe it should have.
As I may have mentioned, I'm knitting two Tamarix Quilt baby blankets¶ for my two favourite# cousins.
Now, you†† can knit the thing in 100 individual squares and sew them all together. Or you can knit it together as you go along and *not* sew 100 individual squares together.
I hear you.
Heather, the designer, is very graciously shepherding@ a KAL on Ravelry. Damned good thing for some of us who are destined never to field strip an AK-47.
There's a tutorial in the magazine, part of the pattern practically, that shows how to knit the whole thing together as you‡‡ go. Problem is, my spatial retardation doesn't allow me to go there without a fight.
First, she gives instructions on how to join a square on the left or on the right. It took me ten minutes to figure out whether it was the new knitting or the old square on the left... but I got that one on my own.
Then I cast on the requisite 39 stitches for a new square, picking them up along the edge of the existing square. Only I didn't think far enough ahead to realise that 39 stitches is two sides of a square, so I should only have picked up 19 or 20 stitches, then cast on the rest. I was halfway through the new square before I realised something was horribly wrong.
THEN, since I was knitting from left to right, it never occurred to me to think right AND left. I assumed if *I* was going from left to right, the only way anything could be done was to join the old knitting on the left end of the new knitting.
NOW I've finished the first row of squares. I told Heather I was planning on knitting ten strips of squares and sewing them together, and she pointed out§§ that I¶¶ could knit the whole thing together as I went along.
*blink blink blink*
I am paralysed. How should I proceed? Should I 1) dive in and try to knit, sometimes joining on two sides, 2) stick with my original ten-strips-and-sew plan, or 3) try building a bridge in my living room for mechanical aptitude practice?^
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Possibly as a reaction to me telling him I was a theatre major.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): I believe it was 2.2 seconds, a statistic to make Porsche jealous. My first roommate was... social.
%FOOTNOTE (percented): Which, by the way, did nothing to help me discover what I was *best* at.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): "Free to Be... You and Me" is earworming me like a mother right now - those Target commercials don't help
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): From the latest Interweave Knits.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): ...and most fertile.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): And by "you," I mean "I."
@FOOTNOTE (atted): Ha! Sheep joke!
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): I
§§FOOTNOTE (I am incapable of straight thinking): Very optimistically, given my proven inability to turn right when the situation called for it.
¶¶FOOTNOTE (beat the drum slowly): And by "I," I mean "Heather or some other munitions expert."
^FOOTNOTE (careted): Or - and I just thought of this one - I could knit in a spiral, forcing me to knit the last square together with FOUR other squares. To gain saint points, of course.
Friday, March 19, 2010
The Moment You've All Been Waiting For
At least it's the moment I've been dying to share with you.†
[SUMMARY: Po-tay-to, po-tah-to.]
I shan't drag you through the litany of "stuck in the camera" and "busy at work" and all that. You know the song, I'll let you sing it on your own.
Suffice to say I finished Dr. Doom's Christmas sweater around the end of January,‡ then through the vagaries of joint custody, finally got it to him mid-February.
I took the basic top-down raglan sweater,§ I've been using for everything Nephew, added a textured alligator belly through the miracle of intarsia-in-the-round, then winged it on the sleeves.¶
%
It was the winging it part that really mucked up the works.
There I'd be in my chair at work, madly correcting, explaining, marketing, e-schmoozing and otherwise getting the job done, when suddenly, sleeve panic would hit me and I'd start doing the alligator thing with my elbows,# using paper clips to mark the place where alligator lips should be and re-figuring where alligator mouth should go...
[SUMMARY: Every person does multi-tasking in his own way.]
Is it any wonder I was so absent for so long? I had a lot going on.
In the end, I think it worked out pretty well.
But the true test is how it works for Dr. Doom.
[SUMMARY: Proof, meet pudding.]
First, getting naked in Chipotle.††
Then test-driving the beast.
Why, arm, what big teeth you have!
Let's see, important knitting stuff:
First, this is the proudest knitting moment of my knitterly life. It's the closest I've come to designing something, and it's something unique and cool and interesting and wowing and I'm just so tickled.
The sweater was originally inspired by this genius shirt from the Discovery Channel Store. I quickly realised that a white and pale grey shirt was no match for a five-year-old supervillain, so I decided to go with the classic gator.
Other than the pupils of the eyes, which are Dark Horse Fantasy, the whole thing is knit in Cascade 220 Superwash.
I made nose-holes‡‡ of I-cord loops.
The eyes took as long as the rest of the sweater put together. I had alligator eyes all over my living room for weeks. When one gets a solid vision of what one wants, it's hard for one to accept anything different.§§
One thing I believe the pattern misses, and that I missed too, is that when you put the sleeve stitches on holders to knit the body, you cast on an inch under the arm.
Which - and this is very important - adds two inches to the body of the sweater.
[SUMMARY: Math even I can do.]
On the one hand, I was delighted to get gauge. On the other, getting gauge meant I was the full two inches bigger than I wanted.
I had planned to sew up the sides, take out a couple of inches, but figured I'd better try it on the good Doctor first.¶¶ Yes, it's just a bit too big.
The neck is also big, being unfinished. I knit a nice 3-2 rib collar about 37 times and it always seemed too small.## So I left it unfinished for maximum headroom. Yes, it's just a bit too big.
I told Brother I wanted to take it home and finish it properly and he assured me Doom will be wearing a t-shirt under it most of the time, so aesthetically it's OK.
[SUMMARY: Aesthetics are what you're looking for in a sweater for a five-year-old.]
I don't know if he doesn't want to put me out or if he's afraid they'll never see it if I get my grubby hands on it again.
Hey! We've had a fair amount of knitting around here lately. You'd almost think this was still a knitblog.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): And, y'know, it's all about me. And my lamp.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): And I would've finished it *much* faster if Dr. Doom hadn't given me a VERY COMPELLING game for my Nintendo DS for Christmas. *ahem*
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): And I'm not sure why I keep using this one, except that it's familiar. The sizing is all wrong, vis-a-vis boys S-M-L. I always ask Brother to measure a shirt that fits, then try to match the inches from there.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Wing... sleeves... heheheheheh... I'm funny.
%FOOTNOTE (percented): With the new office, I no longer have a clean white wall behind a hanger to photograph my sweaters. Whatever shall I do now?
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Sound effect: "RAWR!"
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Note the find cow hat on Brother's head, a Valentine's present from his favourite Seester. He brings me Icelandic sludge and lopi, I bring him cow hats.
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): nostrils-nose holes ... to-may-to, to-mah-to.
§§FOOTNOTE (twisted definition time): Read: lesser.
¶¶FOOTNOTE (you can beat it into my head): I may not be a math genius, but I do have my moments of clarity.
##FOOTNOTE (square head, round hole, pound pound): Which I determined by trying to fit it over my own head, under the suspicion that heads grow less than anything else in a person's life, therefore kid heads must be nearly as large adult heads.
[SUMMARY: Po-tay-to, po-tah-to.]
I shan't drag you through the litany of "stuck in the camera" and "busy at work" and all that. You know the song, I'll let you sing it on your own.
Suffice to say I finished Dr. Doom's Christmas sweater around the end of January,‡ then through the vagaries of joint custody, finally got it to him mid-February.
I took the basic top-down raglan sweater,§ I've been using for everything Nephew, added a textured alligator belly through the miracle of intarsia-in-the-round, then winged it on the sleeves.¶
%
It was the winging it part that really mucked up the works.
There I'd be in my chair at work, madly correcting, explaining, marketing, e-schmoozing and otherwise getting the job done, when suddenly, sleeve panic would hit me and I'd start doing the alligator thing with my elbows,# using paper clips to mark the place where alligator lips should be and re-figuring where alligator mouth should go...
[SUMMARY: Every person does multi-tasking in his own way.]
Is it any wonder I was so absent for so long? I had a lot going on.
In the end, I think it worked out pretty well.
But the true test is how it works for Dr. Doom.
[SUMMARY: Proof, meet pudding.]
First, getting naked in Chipotle.††
Then test-driving the beast.
Why, arm, what big teeth you have!
Let's see, important knitting stuff:
First, this is the proudest knitting moment of my knitterly life. It's the closest I've come to designing something, and it's something unique and cool and interesting and wowing and I'm just so tickled.
The sweater was originally inspired by this genius shirt from the Discovery Channel Store. I quickly realised that a white and pale grey shirt was no match for a five-year-old supervillain, so I decided to go with the classic gator.
Other than the pupils of the eyes, which are Dark Horse Fantasy, the whole thing is knit in Cascade 220 Superwash.
I made nose-holes‡‡ of I-cord loops.
The eyes took as long as the rest of the sweater put together. I had alligator eyes all over my living room for weeks. When one gets a solid vision of what one wants, it's hard for one to accept anything different.§§
One thing I believe the pattern misses, and that I missed too, is that when you put the sleeve stitches on holders to knit the body, you cast on an inch under the arm.
Which - and this is very important - adds two inches to the body of the sweater.
[SUMMARY: Math even I can do.]
On the one hand, I was delighted to get gauge. On the other, getting gauge meant I was the full two inches bigger than I wanted.
I had planned to sew up the sides, take out a couple of inches, but figured I'd better try it on the good Doctor first.¶¶ Yes, it's just a bit too big.
The neck is also big, being unfinished. I knit a nice 3-2 rib collar about 37 times and it always seemed too small.## So I left it unfinished for maximum headroom. Yes, it's just a bit too big.
I told Brother I wanted to take it home and finish it properly and he assured me Doom will be wearing a t-shirt under it most of the time, so aesthetically it's OK.
[SUMMARY: Aesthetics are what you're looking for in a sweater for a five-year-old.]
I don't know if he doesn't want to put me out or if he's afraid they'll never see it if I get my grubby hands on it again.
Hey! We've had a fair amount of knitting around here lately. You'd almost think this was still a knitblog.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): And, y'know, it's all about me. And my lamp.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): And I would've finished it *much* faster if Dr. Doom hadn't given me a VERY COMPELLING game for my Nintendo DS for Christmas. *ahem*
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): And I'm not sure why I keep using this one, except that it's familiar. The sizing is all wrong, vis-a-vis boys S-M-L. I always ask Brother to measure a shirt that fits, then try to match the inches from there.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Wing... sleeves... heheheheheh... I'm funny.
%FOOTNOTE (percented): With the new office, I no longer have a clean white wall behind a hanger to photograph my sweaters. Whatever shall I do now?
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Sound effect: "RAWR!"
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Note the find cow hat on Brother's head, a Valentine's present from his favourite Seester. He brings me Icelandic sludge and lopi, I bring him cow hats.
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): nostrils-nose holes ... to-may-to, to-mah-to.
§§FOOTNOTE (twisted definition time): Read: lesser.
¶¶FOOTNOTE (you can beat it into my head): I may not be a math genius, but I do have my moments of clarity.
##FOOTNOTE (square head, round hole, pound pound): Which I determined by trying to fit it over my own head, under the suspicion that heads grow less than anything else in a person's life, therefore kid heads must be nearly as large adult heads.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Knitpiphany!†
Carol Jean sent yarn.‡
Beautiful Black Bunny yarn.
Beautifuller even than I thought it was when I first pulled it out because it's so light, so pastel, I thought I'd have to let it grow on me.§ Only there's something moody and shoreswept about it, like the faded paint on a seaside ice cream shop, and it grew like kudzu in a wet summer.^
[SUMMARY: Poetic yarn.]
It's 50/50 alpaca/wool, and a generous serving size,@ so I squish it on a daily basis and didn't know what to do with it.
Then, in my current round of blog gluttony,¶ I ran across a lovely post with lovely pictures and a scarf that made me catch my breath.%
[SUMMARY: A pattern of melodrama.]
Perfect. It's *perfect*.#
This has never happened to me before. I'm a little dizzy.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Have I used that title before?
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Despite my calling her Carol Jean behind her back, I got the yarn because I'm in her Black Bunny Yarn Club, rather than because I'm her BFF. I'm not as special as I may have misled you to believe.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): It may shock you, but I'm generally not a pastel person. For those of you scoring at home, I think the top picture is more true to colour - at least on my monitor.
^FOOTNOTE (careted): Hans agrees.
@FOOTNOTE (atted): 530 yards of fuzzy, halo'd goodness. Just right for a saint-in-waiting.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Some of you may have noticed swarms of comments from me, some covering posts you made months ago. That's me, catching up after the great Workicane (Workopalypse? Nine on the Workchter Scale? I'm working on it. Whatever it was, it was an unnatural disaster with gale force winds.) of O'9. The boss called last week because he had dinner with the VP who brought me on here and he asked what our (Hans and I) workload would be like so he could schedule in impending projects. "Divestitures are going to slow down this year," Randy the Veep is purported to have said. "What the HELL does that mean?" I wailed at John. "Six-day work weeks instead of seven? Only working twelve hours a day?" *ahem* Excuse me. A little vent is good for the soul. A saint-in-training can't afford to have a constipated soul.
%FOOTNOTE (percented): It's not the cleverest or the most complex or the most graceful, it's just perfect for the yarn at hand. And I *really* like it. The designer calls it "Mabel's Scarf," but I recognise a Greek key when I see it, so it's All Greek to Me.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): I'm a perfection virgin.
Beautiful Black Bunny yarn.
Beautifuller even than I thought it was when I first pulled it out because it's so light, so pastel, I thought I'd have to let it grow on me.§ Only there's something moody and shoreswept about it, like the faded paint on a seaside ice cream shop, and it grew like kudzu in a wet summer.^
[SUMMARY: Poetic yarn.]
It's 50/50 alpaca/wool, and a generous serving size,@ so I squish it on a daily basis and didn't know what to do with it.
Then, in my current round of blog gluttony,¶ I ran across a lovely post with lovely pictures and a scarf that made me catch my breath.%
[SUMMARY: A pattern of melodrama.]
Perfect. It's *perfect*.#
This has never happened to me before. I'm a little dizzy.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Have I used that title before?
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Despite my calling her Carol Jean behind her back, I got the yarn because I'm in her Black Bunny Yarn Club, rather than because I'm her BFF. I'm not as special as I may have misled you to believe.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): It may shock you, but I'm generally not a pastel person. For those of you scoring at home, I think the top picture is more true to colour - at least on my monitor.
^FOOTNOTE (careted): Hans agrees.
@FOOTNOTE (atted): 530 yards of fuzzy, halo'd goodness. Just right for a saint-in-waiting.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Some of you may have noticed swarms of comments from me, some covering posts you made months ago. That's me, catching up after the great Workicane (Workopalypse? Nine on the Workchter Scale? I'm working on it. Whatever it was, it was an unnatural disaster with gale force winds.) of O'9. The boss called last week because he had dinner with the VP who brought me on here and he asked what our (Hans and I) workload would be like so he could schedule in impending projects. "Divestitures are going to slow down this year," Randy the Veep is purported to have said. "What the HELL does that mean?" I wailed at John. "Six-day work weeks instead of seven? Only working twelve hours a day?" *ahem* Excuse me. A little vent is good for the soul. A saint-in-training can't afford to have a constipated soul.
%FOOTNOTE (percented): It's not the cleverest or the most complex or the most graceful, it's just perfect for the yarn at hand. And I *really* like it. The designer calls it "Mabel's Scarf," but I recognise a Greek key when I see it, so it's All Greek to Me.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): I'm a perfection virgin.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Knitting Excitement!
Of course,† not for what I'm knitting right now, today, which is a baby blanket that isn't really tripping my trigger.‡ Miles and miles§ of superwash garter stitch... great for the Olympics, not so tantalising for my cashmere-cloaked, circus-knitting soul.
And I have marvelous yarn from Carol Jean¶ - 50/50 wool/alpaca, light green subtly dappled with grey-blue. And a wonderful natural Araucania wool alpaca grey twist. But I don't know what to make with either, so I fondle them nightly and continue kniting miles of garter stitch.
I finished the infamous# Later Gator Sweater,†† but, y'know... camera... upload... we'll get there.
I also knitted lumps of coal for the Family Christmas Party, but I took no pictures, so I don't even have the "too lazy to upload" excuse.
[SUMMARY: Why bother talking about knitting?]
Despite all this waffling, there is some upcoming knitting about which I'm very excited.
Excited to the point of frantic.‡‡
I will be knitting - *whisper* - for myself.
[SUMMARY: That's why.§§]
Sweater.
Then possibly sweaters.
[SUMMARY: I'm not committing to any long-term contract here.]
I plan to knit this sweater%:
Basic Black Cardigan by Glenna C.
Using these needles¶¶:
Kollage Square Circular
In at *least* the green## of this yarn:
Colourmart 2/6NM dk wt 5/95 cashmere/merino bulky wool in pistacho,††† fuscia and azul mel
Finishing with these buttons@ on the respective colours‡‡‡.
from As Cute as a Button
[SUMMARY: A plan! I have a *plan*!]
The yarn should arrive any day. Until then, I sit at my post box§§§...
*open open open*
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): "Of course," because the alpaca is always fluffier on the other side of the fence.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Though I have dubbed it the Gay Pride Baby Blanket, so at least it has that going for it.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): And even less thrilled now that I've left my state of denial and realised what I've knit so far is the right width for a bookmark and, at this rate, the blanket will be 16" x 12".
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Yes, we are on a first-name basis. When she's not looking.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Possibly only among the immediate family. Mostly with Dr. Doom, who has been dying for the sweater since he didn't get it on Christmas.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): So named because it was a very, very late Christmas present. And because it is in the shape of an alligator.
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): Because it has to come through my post office.
§§FOOTNOTE (here's where I turn on you): So there.
%FOOTNOTE (percented): My decision to knit this sweater has NOTHING to do with the fact that Glenna and I have roughly the same hair.
¶¶FOOTNOTE (let me beat this into you): OMG OMG OMG! I *love* these needles! They're comfy and pretty and the cable is OMG soft as chiffon and it doesn't kink or coil and they warm in your hands like wood and they're just a little grippy without being sticky and OMG did I mention copper and size printed right on the needle and OMG!
##FOOTNOTE (#Cassandra #Juno): A hard-won green, found at last by Cassandra who, while she didn't push me to buy three colours of yarn, did point me to the blue and thoroughly enjoyed shopping with my money.
†††FOOTNOTE (knitting cross - coming soon to an Olympic competition near you): [sic] Apparently, that's how you say "pistachio" and "fuschia" in Spanish.
@FOOTNOTE (atted): It won't surprise you to know I did a search for skull buttons in specific. I looked at every single button on the ACAAB website and kept stopping at this cord lock because it looks so much like a friendly, Hello Kitty-esque skull:
‡‡‡FOOTNOTE (sew buttons): OK, maybe I'll switch the skulls and the pink glass. It's better to be wishy-washy in the footnotes and sound like you know what you're talking about in the blogpost proper. You might also notice I switched from "at least this one colour" to "I have buttons for all the colours." I'm sneaky that way.
§§§FOOTNOTE (boo*hisss*): Which mocks me with its tardy, black, yarnless emptiness.
And I have marvelous yarn from Carol Jean¶ - 50/50 wool/alpaca, light green subtly dappled with grey-blue. And a wonderful natural Araucania wool alpaca grey twist. But I don't know what to make with either, so I fondle them nightly and continue kniting miles of garter stitch.
I finished the infamous# Later Gator Sweater,†† but, y'know... camera... upload... we'll get there.
I also knitted lumps of coal for the Family Christmas Party, but I took no pictures, so I don't even have the "too lazy to upload" excuse.
[SUMMARY: Why bother talking about knitting?]
Despite all this waffling, there is some upcoming knitting about which I'm very excited.
Excited to the point of frantic.‡‡
I will be knitting - *whisper* - for myself.
[SUMMARY: That's why.§§]
Sweater.
Then possibly sweaters.
[SUMMARY: I'm not committing to any long-term contract here.]
I plan to knit this sweater%:
Basic Black Cardigan by Glenna C.
Using these needles¶¶:
Kollage Square Circular
In at *least* the green## of this yarn:
Colourmart 2/6NM dk wt 5/95 cashmere/merino bulky wool in pistacho,††† fuscia and azul mel
Finishing with these buttons@ on the respective colours‡‡‡.
from As Cute as a Button
[SUMMARY: A plan! I have a *plan*!]
The yarn should arrive any day. Until then, I sit at my post box§§§...
*open open open*
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): "Of course," because the alpaca is always fluffier on the other side of the fence.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Though I have dubbed it the Gay Pride Baby Blanket, so at least it has that going for it.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): And even less thrilled now that I've left my state of denial and realised what I've knit so far is the right width for a bookmark and, at this rate, the blanket will be 16" x 12".
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Yes, we are on a first-name basis. When she's not looking.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Possibly only among the immediate family. Mostly with Dr. Doom, who has been dying for the sweater since he didn't get it on Christmas.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): So named because it was a very, very late Christmas present. And because it is in the shape of an alligator.
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): Because it has to come through my post office.
§§FOOTNOTE (here's where I turn on you): So there.
%FOOTNOTE (percented): My decision to knit this sweater has NOTHING to do with the fact that Glenna and I have roughly the same hair.
¶¶FOOTNOTE (let me beat this into you): OMG OMG OMG! I *love* these needles! They're comfy and pretty and the cable is OMG soft as chiffon and it doesn't kink or coil and they warm in your hands like wood and they're just a little grippy without being sticky and OMG did I mention copper and size printed right on the needle and OMG!
##FOOTNOTE (#Cassandra #Juno): A hard-won green, found at last by Cassandra who, while she didn't push me to buy three colours of yarn, did point me to the blue and thoroughly enjoyed shopping with my money.
†††FOOTNOTE (knitting cross - coming soon to an Olympic competition near you): [sic] Apparently, that's how you say "pistachio" and "fuschia" in Spanish.
@FOOTNOTE (atted): It won't surprise you to know I did a search for skull buttons in specific. I looked at every single button on the ACAAB website and kept stopping at this cord lock because it looks so much like a friendly, Hello Kitty-esque skull:
‡‡‡FOOTNOTE (sew buttons): OK, maybe I'll switch the skulls and the pink glass. It's better to be wishy-washy in the footnotes and sound like you know what you're talking about in the blogpost proper. You might also notice I switched from "at least this one colour" to "I have buttons for all the colours." I'm sneaky that way.
§§§FOOTNOTE (boo*hisss*): Which mocks me with its tardy, black, yarnless emptiness.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Attached
It's not quite like that, really.
You know those times you† send out a lengthy and hard-won work email, with careful wording that shows off your vast and varied vocabulary while maintaining readability, that hints at greatness and touches on the good of the company and all hinges on the concept that you attached the illustrative document... and you have to resend everything with some version of "Oops!" when someone@ says, "I don't see the attachment."
This reminds me of that.
[SUMMARY: Drawing on common experience to make myself feel less dorklike.]
Yesterday's post about knitting angst may have lost some of its oomph when you clicked the link to find yourself in a sterile grey house with sterile grey people staring out of different doorways while their sterile grey dog blends into their sterile grey carpet.‡
See, the Unhappy Hipsters blog isn't set up so someone with the technical acumen of a WWII vet§ can figure out how to link to an individual post. Only I didn't realise that until this morning.
[SUMMARY: I'm not as quick as I used to be.]
So, at the risk of infringing on copyrights,¶ I'm simply reenacting# the blogpost here so you can see what I really meant.
Trapped by the tawny palette, he struggled through yet another brown knit scarf.
(Photo: Randi Berez; Dwell, September 2005)
You're welcome.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): And by "you," I mean "I." You probably stopped doing that ages ago.
@FOOTNOTE (atted): For me, it's almost always the boss or the know-it-all from the 6th floor.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): I'd never noticed how morose Dwell Magazine is.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): That'd be me.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Something a saint should never, ever do.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Like some historical event. It's not stealing or infringing, it's reenacting.
You know those times you† send out a lengthy and hard-won work email, with careful wording that shows off your vast and varied vocabulary while maintaining readability, that hints at greatness and touches on the good of the company and all hinges on the concept that you attached the illustrative document... and you have to resend everything with some version of "Oops!" when someone@ says, "I don't see the attachment."
This reminds me of that.
[SUMMARY: Drawing on common experience to make myself feel less dorklike.]
Yesterday's post about knitting angst may have lost some of its oomph when you clicked the link to find yourself in a sterile grey house with sterile grey people staring out of different doorways while their sterile grey dog blends into their sterile grey carpet.‡
See, the Unhappy Hipsters blog isn't set up so someone with the technical acumen of a WWII vet§ can figure out how to link to an individual post. Only I didn't realise that until this morning.
[SUMMARY: I'm not as quick as I used to be.]
So, at the risk of infringing on copyrights,¶ I'm simply reenacting# the blogpost here so you can see what I really meant.
Trapped by the tawny palette, he struggled through yet another brown knit scarf.
(Photo: Randi Berez; Dwell, September 2005)
You're welcome.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): And by "you," I mean "I." You probably stopped doing that ages ago.
@FOOTNOTE (atted): For me, it's almost always the boss or the know-it-all from the 6th floor.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): I'd never noticed how morose Dwell Magazine is.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): That'd be me.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Something a saint should never, ever do.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Like some historical event. It's not stealing or infringing, it's reenacting.
St. Brigid and the Six Weeks of Winter
It's that time of year again.†
Sheep‡
Thousands of sheep, soft-footed, black-nosed sheep--
one by one going up the hill and over the fence--one by
one four-footed pattering up and over--one by one wiggling
their stub tails as they take the short jump and go
over--one by one silently unless for the multitudinous
drumming of their hoofs as they move on and go over--
thousands and thousands of them in the grey haze of
evening just after sundown--one by one slanting in a
long line to pass over the hill--
I am the slow, long-legged Sleepyman and I love you
sheep in Persia, California, Argentine, Australia, or
Spain--you are the thoughts that help me when I, the
Sleepyman, lay my hands on the eyelids of the children
of the world at eight o'clock every night--you thousands
and thousands of sheep in a procession of dusk making
an endless multitudinous drumming on the hills with
your hoofs.
- Carl Sandburg
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): When St. Brigid brings a basket of teeth down the chimney and if she sees a turkey's shadow, it means six more weeks of winter.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Because, despite all appearances, this is still a knitblog.
Sheep‡
Thousands of sheep, soft-footed, black-nosed sheep--
one by one going up the hill and over the fence--one by
one four-footed pattering up and over--one by one wiggling
their stub tails as they take the short jump and go
over--one by one silently unless for the multitudinous
drumming of their hoofs as they move on and go over--
thousands and thousands of them in the grey haze of
evening just after sundown--one by one slanting in a
long line to pass over the hill--
I am the slow, long-legged Sleepyman and I love you
sheep in Persia, California, Argentine, Australia, or
Spain--you are the thoughts that help me when I, the
Sleepyman, lay my hands on the eyelids of the children
of the world at eight o'clock every night--you thousands
and thousands of sheep in a procession of dusk making
an endless multitudinous drumming on the hills with
your hoofs.
- Carl Sandburg
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): When St. Brigid brings a basket of teeth down the chimney and if she sees a turkey's shadow, it means six more weeks of winter.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Because, despite all appearances, this is still a knitblog.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Reunion
Have you ever run into someone, say, in line at the grocery store... someone you haven't seen in ten or fifteen years?
In the two or three interruptable minutes you have, you try to catch up.†
That's how I feel right now.
It's not really that anything major has happened that anybody needs to know about. That would be easy. It's that this blog isn't about major things. This is about teeny, tiny little muses of fluff. There have been a LOT of fluff muses in the last *mumblemonthormoremumble*.
[SUMMARY: Facebook lifestyle‡ got me down.]
I really wish I could share some of the funny, witty, clever, wicked, brilliant thoughts I've had,§ but I only remember them for about four hours¶ and they're all gone now.
So let's start with knitting, since once upon a time, this was STILL A KNITBLOG.
I finally finished the last two of the six-at-once socks.# I wear them often.†† I'm mostly pleased with how they look, but I have to admit that the Shibui sock is so tightly twisted that it's noticably rough on the feet. I know they'll last longer than nice, soft socks, but I think I'll be seeking nice, soft sock yarn from here on out.
I am currently knitting a fabulous sweater‡‡ for Dr. Doom. I'm so excited about it I'm practically vibrating, but I think I'll wait until it's done so you're all surprised and stuff.
[SUMMARY: Blah blah knit blah blah blah knit knit blah.]
I get to go on an airplane next week. The payoff for being allowed to fly on company dollars is that I have to go to Houston. And answer questions from potential buyers at an auction. Two days of misery, but did I mention I get to ride an airplane?
[SUMMARY: The glamourous life of a petroleum landman.]
I gently declined to spend Thanksgiving with my family and ordered my dinner from a local gourmet market. I shopped Old Navy at noon, had some dinner and went to the Broncos game by myself.§§
TRAGIC NOTE: This dreck has taken me two days¶¶ to slog through. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I think we should all cut our losses and look at something shiny. Tomorrow may be a better day.
To make up for it, please help yourself to one free holiday song download every day in December from Amazon.com.##
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): All the while wondering if you should mention or avoid that night backstage with the tangled scrim and the masking tape.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): We can blame Facebook for part of this. Facebook sucks a lot of time out of me. I'm trying to learn to control it, but it's been a long road to recovery.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): You just *know* I've had dozens of brilliant, clever thoughts.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Old... feeble...
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Though I didn't bind off loose enough and they get stuck partway up my calf and slouch there.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Despite the binding and the slouching.
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): And just discovered last night that in adding an inch under the arms when I put the sleeve holes on holders, I added an inch to the body of the sweater and am now trying to figure out a way to take it in by two inches that will 1) make it look like I meant to do that, and 2) be removable so he can wear it an extra year if he wants to.
§§FOOTNOTE (a fine turn of events): And have discovered that one or both of the following must happen for the Broncos to win: 1) I must go to the game by myself. 2) Van Walker can not be advertising his Bronco Slappy bandwagon fandom for his beliked Broncos on Facebook.
It has *nothing* to do with the team.
For those of you scoring at home, the Raiders should beat the Broncos by about 83 points, since I'm taking three people to that game.
¶¶FOOTNOTE (bock bock): And there aren't even any chickens.
##FOOTNOTE (murder by numbers): I'm not getting anything for this -- I just heard about it and thought I'd share.
In the two or three interruptable minutes you have, you try to catch up.†
That's how I feel right now.
It's not really that anything major has happened that anybody needs to know about. That would be easy. It's that this blog isn't about major things. This is about teeny, tiny little muses of fluff. There have been a LOT of fluff muses in the last *mumblemonthormoremumble*.
[SUMMARY: Facebook lifestyle‡ got me down.]
I really wish I could share some of the funny, witty, clever, wicked, brilliant thoughts I've had,§ but I only remember them for about four hours¶ and they're all gone now.
So let's start with knitting, since once upon a time, this was STILL A KNITBLOG.
I finally finished the last two of the six-at-once socks.# I wear them often.†† I'm mostly pleased with how they look, but I have to admit that the Shibui sock is so tightly twisted that it's noticably rough on the feet. I know they'll last longer than nice, soft socks, but I think I'll be seeking nice, soft sock yarn from here on out.
I am currently knitting a fabulous sweater‡‡ for Dr. Doom. I'm so excited about it I'm practically vibrating, but I think I'll wait until it's done so you're all surprised and stuff.
[SUMMARY: Blah blah knit blah blah blah knit knit blah.]
I get to go on an airplane next week. The payoff for being allowed to fly on company dollars is that I have to go to Houston. And answer questions from potential buyers at an auction. Two days of misery, but did I mention I get to ride an airplane?
[SUMMARY: The glamourous life of a petroleum landman.]
I gently declined to spend Thanksgiving with my family and ordered my dinner from a local gourmet market. I shopped Old Navy at noon, had some dinner and went to the Broncos game by myself.§§
TRAGIC NOTE: This dreck has taken me two days¶¶ to slog through. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I think we should all cut our losses and look at something shiny. Tomorrow may be a better day.
To make up for it, please help yourself to one free holiday song download every day in December from Amazon.com.##
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): All the while wondering if you should mention or avoid that night backstage with the tangled scrim and the masking tape.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): We can blame Facebook for part of this. Facebook sucks a lot of time out of me. I'm trying to learn to control it, but it's been a long road to recovery.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): You just *know* I've had dozens of brilliant, clever thoughts.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Old... feeble...
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Though I didn't bind off loose enough and they get stuck partway up my calf and slouch there.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Despite the binding and the slouching.
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): And just discovered last night that in adding an inch under the arms when I put the sleeve holes on holders, I added an inch to the body of the sweater and am now trying to figure out a way to take it in by two inches that will 1) make it look like I meant to do that, and 2) be removable so he can wear it an extra year if he wants to.
§§FOOTNOTE (a fine turn of events): And have discovered that one or both of the following must happen for the Broncos to win: 1) I must go to the game by myself. 2) Van Walker can not be advertising his Bronco Slappy bandwagon fandom for his beliked Broncos on Facebook.
It has *nothing* to do with the team.
For those of you scoring at home, the Raiders should beat the Broncos by about 83 points, since I'm taking three people to that game.
¶¶FOOTNOTE (bock bock): And there aren't even any chickens.
##FOOTNOTE (murder by numbers): I'm not getting anything for this -- I just heard about it and thought I'd share.
Monday, June 29, 2009
.-.. .. -.-. -.- - .... . .--. .. --. †
Lest you think I never think of knitting anymore, I am in the process of graphing the Bat Conservation International logo for a nifty tam o' shanter.
And later this week, I'll post pictures of the pair of socks I finished a month ago.
And, FSM willing, the sparkly scarf I'm making from Nathan's brilliant stash contribution.‡
[SUMMARY: I'll keep you coming back for more!]
Meanwhile, I shall share some funny bits lurking in my files.
Like Tippi Hedren in marshmallows§:
And, of course, stupid sparkly vampire snark:
And a whole collection of Savage Chickens that made me snarf%:
Speaking of chicken, I started my birthday with chicken 'n' waffles, a taste treat much lauded by Snoop Dogg, so I felt I had to try it.¶
I am currently developing recipes to make chicken 'n' waffles not quite so much heart-attack-waiting-to-happen.# It's really all about the tobasco and maple syrup, so fat content should be negotiable.
More birthday magic later this week too!
[SUMMARY: I took a couple of marketing classes in college.]
As long as we're talking about food, I just received word from Lucretia-once-Tia that I won a year's supply of Blue Bunny ice cream on a contest on her blog.
[SUMMARY: Don't stand near me. Lightning is about to strike.††]
Yep! It's a staccato blast of pig-licking today. Who knows what cohesiveness or cleverness tomorrow may bring?‡‡
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Genuine Morse Code! Fun for the whole family! Translation: Lick the pig.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): While I try not to go overboard with WIP pics, I think Nathan should see that his generous gift is going to good and glam use. And it will pad the blog the way only sparkly, sparkly pictures can.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Don't look, Jackson! And don't click the link!
%FOOTNOTE (percented): The last one is, of course, especially for Lyda.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): I want to be Snoop Dogg when I grow up, with my mind on my money and my money on my mind.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): I'm thinking non-fried fried chicken and Kashi toaster waffles.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): I'd like to thank Juno for pointing out that, contrary to my grip on kharma, I will not be struck by lightning to balance out all the good stuff that's happening, but that there is special birthday kharma that allows good things without ass-biting returns.
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): Yeah, most of you can lay the odds on that, but you never know. I may experience a flash of brilliance.
And later this week, I'll post pictures of the pair of socks I finished a month ago.
And, FSM willing, the sparkly scarf I'm making from Nathan's brilliant stash contribution.‡
[SUMMARY: I'll keep you coming back for more!]
Meanwhile, I shall share some funny bits lurking in my files.
Like Tippi Hedren in marshmallows§:
And, of course, stupid sparkly vampire snark:
And a whole collection of Savage Chickens that made me snarf%:
Speaking of chicken, I started my birthday with chicken 'n' waffles, a taste treat much lauded by Snoop Dogg, so I felt I had to try it.¶
I am currently developing recipes to make chicken 'n' waffles not quite so much heart-attack-waiting-to-happen.# It's really all about the tobasco and maple syrup, so fat content should be negotiable.
More birthday magic later this week too!
[SUMMARY: I took a couple of marketing classes in college.]
As long as we're talking about food, I just received word from Lucretia-once-Tia that I won a year's supply of Blue Bunny ice cream on a contest on her blog.
[SUMMARY: Don't stand near me. Lightning is about to strike.††]
Yep! It's a staccato blast of pig-licking today. Who knows what cohesiveness or cleverness tomorrow may bring?‡‡
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Genuine Morse Code! Fun for the whole family! Translation: Lick the pig.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): While I try not to go overboard with WIP pics, I think Nathan should see that his generous gift is going to good and glam use. And it will pad the blog the way only sparkly, sparkly pictures can.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Don't look, Jackson! And don't click the link!
%FOOTNOTE (percented): The last one is, of course, especially for Lyda.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): I want to be Snoop Dogg when I grow up, with my mind on my money and my money on my mind.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): I'm thinking non-fried fried chicken and Kashi toaster waffles.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): I'd like to thank Juno for pointing out that, contrary to my grip on kharma, I will not be struck by lightning to balance out all the good stuff that's happening, but that there is special birthday kharma that allows good things without ass-biting returns.
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): Yeah, most of you can lay the odds on that, but you never know. I may experience a flash of brilliance.
Monday, May 18, 2009
In Case You Think I've Forgotten...
In my obsessive,† ongoing war on sparkly vampires‡:
I've refrained from posting the Sparkleback Mountain one and the Hugh Jackman vampire hunter one, but this comes from my favourite movie of all time,§ so I gave in to the temptation.
[SUMMARY: The campaign for saint continues... two steps forward, one step back.]
Later this week, we will be exploring stupid sparkly SweeTarts.
Srsly.¶
I couldn't possibly make that up.
*************
Une Fleur de Cassie# - Dominique Ropion for Frederic Malle
Marin says: The first shot is pure Aqua Net, but in a flash it becomes a rich, meaty jasmine before skipping off into a woodsy, leafy white floral.
My nose may be deceiving me, but I think I get a whiff of lime or bitter orange. As soon as I take a deep hit to verify, I lose it. Skating along on top is that crayola smell I associate with violet, but it too hides as soon as I go looking for it.
Deeper than pretty white flowers, not so indolent as pure jasmine, fresh and wet for woods -- kind of like a flowering wood after a rain storm -- and not at all overwhelming. I think this would be a particularly nice summer evening scent -- just a wee bit rich and sexy for a summer day -- and not bad for the office, really.
The Perfumed Court says: A rich, intricate fragrance with notes of bergamot orange,$ rose, violet,$ cassie absolute, mimosa absolute, jasmine absolute,$ clove, cumin, apricot, musk, cedar, and sandalwood.
Hans says: I'm getting a lot of floral and a lot of aldehyde. Floral like... I'm not good at picking out flowers. Daisy. Is daisy subtle?
[There's a category generically known as "white flowers" that is usually pretty light.]
That's it, then. I'm going with aldehyde and white flowers.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): I warned you right there in the sidebar. Just wait 'til my tomatoes start coming in.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): It's detours like this that make the "still a knitblog" tag necessary.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): I didn't say it was a good movie (though I'd defend its soundtrack to the ends of the earth), but it is my favourite.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): I'm using this so much -- yes, I say it out loud and pronounce it with no vowels -- I'm in danger of becoming as irritating as after the South Park Al Gore episode when Tani and I almost drove Jax crazy saying, "I'm totally cereal" at the end of every single sentence we uttered.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): I was going to blame Nathan for this, but it turns out it's the work of Bad Influence No. 3, Michelyn Camen (FifthSenseNYC), who is rapidly becoming one of my favourite -- and most expensive -- twits.
$FOOTNOTE (on the money!): I can't believe I couldn't get the cedar or apricot, but I'm tickled pink I got the jasmine and violet.
I've refrained from posting the Sparkleback Mountain one and the Hugh Jackman vampire hunter one, but this comes from my favourite movie of all time,§ so I gave in to the temptation.
[SUMMARY: The campaign for saint continues... two steps forward, one step back.]
Later this week, we will be exploring stupid sparkly SweeTarts.
Srsly.¶
I couldn't possibly make that up.
*************
Une Fleur de Cassie# - Dominique Ropion for Frederic Malle
Marin says: The first shot is pure Aqua Net, but in a flash it becomes a rich, meaty jasmine before skipping off into a woodsy, leafy white floral.
My nose may be deceiving me, but I think I get a whiff of lime or bitter orange. As soon as I take a deep hit to verify, I lose it. Skating along on top is that crayola smell I associate with violet, but it too hides as soon as I go looking for it.
Deeper than pretty white flowers, not so indolent as pure jasmine, fresh and wet for woods -- kind of like a flowering wood after a rain storm -- and not at all overwhelming. I think this would be a particularly nice summer evening scent -- just a wee bit rich and sexy for a summer day -- and not bad for the office, really.
The Perfumed Court says: A rich, intricate fragrance with notes of bergamot orange,$ rose, violet,$ cassie absolute, mimosa absolute, jasmine absolute,$ clove, cumin, apricot, musk, cedar, and sandalwood.
Hans says: I'm getting a lot of floral and a lot of aldehyde. Floral like... I'm not good at picking out flowers. Daisy. Is daisy subtle?
[There's a category generically known as "white flowers" that is usually pretty light.]
That's it, then. I'm going with aldehyde and white flowers.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): I warned you right there in the sidebar. Just wait 'til my tomatoes start coming in.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): It's detours like this that make the "still a knitblog" tag necessary.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): I didn't say it was a good movie (though I'd defend its soundtrack to the ends of the earth), but it is my favourite.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): I'm using this so much -- yes, I say it out loud and pronounce it with no vowels -- I'm in danger of becoming as irritating as after the South Park Al Gore episode when Tani and I almost drove Jax crazy saying, "I'm totally cereal" at the end of every single sentence we uttered.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): I was going to blame Nathan for this, but it turns out it's the work of Bad Influence No. 3, Michelyn Camen (FifthSenseNYC), who is rapidly becoming one of my favourite -- and most expensive -- twits.
$FOOTNOTE (on the money!): I can't believe I couldn't get the cedar or apricot, but I'm tickled pink I got the jasmine and violet.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Nuts & Bolts
That's what she said.†
I have something slightly funner for later, but when I got to the comments this morning, I realised I hadn't included all those knitterly particulars on the Baby Surprise Jackets.‡
And I didn't apprise Sarah of the washing instructions forhers Ben's.
[SUMMARY: Bad knitter!]
The Compass Star:
Yarn: Plymouth Yarn Cotton Kisses - light blue - 51 cotton/42 acrylic/7 nylon (machine wash, lay flat to dry), about 250 yards; less than one ball, but you couldn't quite get two sweaters out of one ball.§
Needle: US 5/3.75 mm
Size: between six months and one year¶
The NESSIL/FuSSIL# BSJ:
Yarn: Stylecraft Apache†† - thyme - acrylic (machine wash, lay flat to dry), about 185 yards; 1.5 balls.
Needle: US 5/3.75 mm
Size: also between six months and one year.
I have done my knitterly duty.
[SUMMARY: Good knitter!]
Now, do I get saint points for this, or did I lose saint points yesterday for not doing it in the first place?
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Yep. Still funny.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): You non-knitters may wish to avert your eyes or just tune in later when I give a brief treatise on pig sex.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): That's what she said. *beavisgiggle*
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Gauge is SUCH a subjective thing.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): I've waffled between the Not Evil Stepsister-in-law and the Future Stepsister-in-law. I kinda like the way NESSIL FuSSIL sounds when I say it out loud. Which I am. Right now. By myself in my office. If anybody asks, I'm going to tell them I'm speaking German.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Ravelry has scant information on this yarn, so I asked Google to help. Google didn't help much -- it doesn't even come up on the Stylecraft website, so... I don't know what to tell you. Discontinued, maybe? Perhaps I should go buy up all Showers of Flowers has to offer.
I have something slightly funner for later, but when I got to the comments this morning, I realised I hadn't included all those knitterly particulars on the Baby Surprise Jackets.‡
And I didn't apprise Sarah of the washing instructions for
[SUMMARY: Bad knitter!]
The Compass Star:
Yarn: Plymouth Yarn Cotton Kisses - light blue - 51 cotton/42 acrylic/7 nylon (machine wash, lay flat to dry), about 250 yards; less than one ball, but you couldn't quite get two sweaters out of one ball.§
Needle: US 5/3.75 mm
Size: between six months and one year¶
The NESSIL/FuSSIL# BSJ:
Yarn: Stylecraft Apache†† - thyme - acrylic (machine wash, lay flat to dry), about 185 yards; 1.5 balls.
Needle: US 5/3.75 mm
Size: also between six months and one year.
I have done my knitterly duty.
[SUMMARY: Good knitter!]
Now, do I get saint points for this, or did I lose saint points yesterday for not doing it in the first place?
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Yep. Still funny.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): You non-knitters may wish to avert your eyes or just tune in later when I give a brief treatise on pig sex.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): That's what she said. *beavisgiggle*
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Gauge is SUCH a subjective thing.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): I've waffled between the Not Evil Stepsister-in-law and the Future Stepsister-in-law. I kinda like the way NESSIL FuSSIL sounds when I say it out loud. Which I am. Right now. By myself in my office. If anybody asks, I'm going to tell them I'm speaking German.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Ravelry has scant information on this yarn, so I asked Google to help. Google didn't help much -- it doesn't even come up on the Stylecraft website, so... I don't know what to tell you. Discontinued, maybe? Perhaps I should go buy up all Showers of Flowers has to offer.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
BSJ for Everyone!
That's what she said.†
This has been all uploaded and ready to go for over a month. Because of my understandable‡ postalphobia, I have a really hard time getting stuff to the post office to ship.
[SUMMARY: Inability to get to post office is related to blog photos. Somehow.]
BECAUSE one of these is for Sarah and her new arrival and I didn't want to post it before she got it.§
As always, the buttons are what really makes the Baby Surprise Jacket.
Then there's the one for my future stepsister-in-law, who decided not to find out the sex of the baby¶ so I went unconventional for the colours.
And got some very happy buttons to go with it.#
So for my dear friends who are new mothers, I hope you had a very happy first Mother's Day and I didn't mean you†† when I said I hate Mother's Day.
*************
Le Rivage des Syrtes (formerly PN1‡‡ or PdN1) - Patricia de Nicolaï for Parfums MDCI
Marin says: Now this has an aldehyde I can live with.
Most aldehydes are overwhelming to my delicate palate§§ and leave me thinking "Aqua Net." This one is bright and light and puts a fine synthetic net over a fruity floral.
I can't quite pick the fruit -- it's not exactly citrus, not exactly peach, not exactly mango. But it's definitely fruity. Perhaps like orange blossom, where the fruit hides in the flower. The flowers are strong and white and sweet like tropical blossoms -- maybe a dash of tuberose. And there's an edgy, slightly acrid depth that I'm starting to associate with ylang ylang.
As this dries down, everything mellows nicely, and there's a definite tinge of sweet oranges in the mix, complimented by a clean, clear tuberose. The aldehyde is nearly gone and there's a delicate golden depth -- amber -- that I find sophisticated and enchanting.
So my love affair with MDCI continues. They are so very French, to be sure, and so very well-crafted and slightly unusual.
This one is the brightest of the MDCI group so far and may be the spring/summer scent -- or one of them¶¶ -- that I've been looking for.
LuckyScent says: The top notes or [sic] orange, pineapple and galbanum combine in an unexpectedly radiant composition which fans of Nicolai will recognize as very much in her style. With the precious fruits secured as cargo, the search continues. Our hero gathers an abundance of heady florals— precious ylang, orange blossom and tuberose designed to delight any recipient of such a magnificent bouquet— and tucks them into a basket he has lined with grasses in order to protect them. Finally, the sailor’s attention turns to the most precious and rare essences– musks, incense and ambergris– eternal mementos of his exotic travels and worthy of none save the one who waits for him alone, praying for his safe return. A complex scent that evokes the bitter and the sweet, the tenderness and the wistful longing of romance.
Notes: sweet orange essence,$ pineapple, galbanum, ylang ylang,$ tuberose,$ orange blossom absolute,$ incense, ambergris,$ vanilla, musk
Hans says: Mmmm. I get, like, honey. Like a sweet honey. Like a flower honey. Honeysuckle. Call it honeysuckle. I think my talents are waning.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): This is all my cousin Joe and I say to each other. It makes Thanksgiving really, really funny (to us) and made Mother's Day bearable (to me), but I think it irritates our grandmother.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): I hear you laughing.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): There's a protocol here, you know.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Which is both liberating and limiting, knitting-wise.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): If future stepnephew-in-law is half as happy as these buttons, he will have a fairytale childhood... "fairytale" in the modern-day connotation, not like Hansel and Gretel.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): For the record, FSSIL went into labour at about 1:00 Sunday morning and had the baby Sunday night. It's a boy. And Sarah had hers three weeks ago. Also a boy, but we already knew that.
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): Mine says "PN1" on the bottle because it was still in the working title stage when I got my set of MDCI samples. I consider this to be like my Metallica: Ride the Lightning tour shirt, which proves I got in on the ground floor. We, the uncool, clinging to the symbols of our occasional accidental hipness...
§§FOOTNOTE (tendrils and wafts and other delicate stuff): You're laughing again.
¶¶FOOTNOTE (arms thrown open): Why limit myself?
This has been all uploaded and ready to go for over a month. Because of my understandable‡ postalphobia, I have a really hard time getting stuff to the post office to ship.
[SUMMARY: Inability to get to post office is related to blog photos. Somehow.]
BECAUSE one of these is for Sarah and her new arrival and I didn't want to post it before she got it.§
As always, the buttons are what really makes the Baby Surprise Jacket.
Then there's the one for my future stepsister-in-law, who decided not to find out the sex of the baby¶ so I went unconventional for the colours.
And got some very happy buttons to go with it.#
So for my dear friends who are new mothers, I hope you had a very happy first Mother's Day and I didn't mean you†† when I said I hate Mother's Day.
*************
Le Rivage des Syrtes (formerly PN1‡‡ or PdN1) - Patricia de Nicolaï for Parfums MDCI
Marin says: Now this has an aldehyde I can live with.
Most aldehydes are overwhelming to my delicate palate§§ and leave me thinking "Aqua Net." This one is bright and light and puts a fine synthetic net over a fruity floral.
I can't quite pick the fruit -- it's not exactly citrus, not exactly peach, not exactly mango. But it's definitely fruity. Perhaps like orange blossom, where the fruit hides in the flower. The flowers are strong and white and sweet like tropical blossoms -- maybe a dash of tuberose. And there's an edgy, slightly acrid depth that I'm starting to associate with ylang ylang.
As this dries down, everything mellows nicely, and there's a definite tinge of sweet oranges in the mix, complimented by a clean, clear tuberose. The aldehyde is nearly gone and there's a delicate golden depth -- amber -- that I find sophisticated and enchanting.
So my love affair with MDCI continues. They are so very French, to be sure, and so very well-crafted and slightly unusual.
This one is the brightest of the MDCI group so far and may be the spring/summer scent -- or one of them¶¶ -- that I've been looking for.
LuckyScent says: The top notes or [sic] orange, pineapple and galbanum combine in an unexpectedly radiant composition which fans of Nicolai will recognize as very much in her style. With the precious fruits secured as cargo, the search continues. Our hero gathers an abundance of heady florals— precious ylang, orange blossom and tuberose designed to delight any recipient of such a magnificent bouquet— and tucks them into a basket he has lined with grasses in order to protect them. Finally, the sailor’s attention turns to the most precious and rare essences– musks, incense and ambergris– eternal mementos of his exotic travels and worthy of none save the one who waits for him alone, praying for his safe return. A complex scent that evokes the bitter and the sweet, the tenderness and the wistful longing of romance.
Notes: sweet orange essence,$ pineapple, galbanum, ylang ylang,$ tuberose,$ orange blossom absolute,$ incense, ambergris,$ vanilla, musk
Hans says: Mmmm. I get, like, honey. Like a sweet honey. Like a flower honey. Honeysuckle. Call it honeysuckle. I think my talents are waning.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): This is all my cousin Joe and I say to each other. It makes Thanksgiving really, really funny (to us) and made Mother's Day bearable (to me), but I think it irritates our grandmother.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): I hear you laughing.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): There's a protocol here, you know.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Which is both liberating and limiting, knitting-wise.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): If future stepnephew-in-law is half as happy as these buttons, he will have a fairytale childhood... "fairytale" in the modern-day connotation, not like Hansel and Gretel.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): For the record, FSSIL went into labour at about 1:00 Sunday morning and had the baby Sunday night. It's a boy. And Sarah had hers three weeks ago. Also a boy, but we already knew that.
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): Mine says "PN1" on the bottle because it was still in the working title stage when I got my set of MDCI samples. I consider this to be like my Metallica: Ride the Lightning tour shirt, which proves I got in on the ground floor. We, the uncool, clinging to the symbols of our occasional accidental hipness...
§§FOOTNOTE (tendrils and wafts and other delicate stuff): You're laughing again.
¶¶FOOTNOTE (arms thrown open): Why limit myself?
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Some Cinderella
So you know how knitting is: you have a dozen things going on,† you finish an object, you share with your friends, but there's so much going on beneath the surface.‡
I've knit a few BSJs§ since the last time we visited the knitting, and a fish¶ and a bomb,# but I've been diligently working on my six-at-once socks too. You just haven't seen them.††
[SUMMARY: In which I ask you to take a leap of faith.‡‡]
The herringbone pattern, which takes much more yarn than the lace patterns, is nearly done.§§ I am, in fact, a half-inch into the ribbing. And I'm was really proud of myself because I could kind of tell it wasn't quite as stretchy, so I incorporated some truly elegant calf-shaping.¶¶
Last night, I tried all the socks on.##
The herringbones are almost too narrow for my duck feet and totally too narrow to get around my heel.
SO... it seems like a good time for a contest of some sort.
[SUMMARY: In which I dangle bait.]
The sticky part is 13" around††† and I truly believe that with a little Crisco and a pair of pliers, I could get the socks over my heel.% It's *that* close to working. The socks are knit to a women's 8 1/2 size and would work for a slighly larger or quite a bit smaller length.
If you truly believe this would work for you, write a lovely sock haiku, put it in the comments ON THIS POST‡‡‡ and I will pick a random winner from the entrants on, say, Monday morning.
Let's say you have until 8:00 ay-em§§§ on Monday to get a haiku in.
[SUMMARY: In which I explain how your leap of faith could be clothed in very cute socks.¶¶¶]
Pass it on -- there's nothing I like better than a lovely sock haiku.###
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Maybe I'm projecting.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): My sophomore year in college, there a flurry of construction on the south end of Taylor Hall. Bulldozers, big flatbed trucks, smallish cranes and a pile of metal. After a couple of days, they left. And we waited to see what the pile of metal was going to be when it was finished. Turns out it was finished. It was a sculpture called Key Shift, about which the artist said (paraphrasing), "It gives the impression of a lot going on just beneath the surface." To which I replied, "Because there's nothing going on up here." Now every time I talk about stuff going on beneath the surface, I think of that. You're welcome.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): I have the pictures to prove it.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Of course.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): We'll talk about that later, when the bomb is famous.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Probably because most WIP pictures are not so interesting.
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): I'm a saint-in-training. You can trust me.
§§FOOTNOTE (short on time, no cute names for the footnote symbols today): I mention the extra yarn requirements because it explains why they are going to be finished before their fellow socks. This is part of the vast educational bounty that is circus knitting.
¶¶FOOTNOTE (parapara): To fit my elegant calves.
##FOOTNOTE (poundpound): Because it's been cold enough for footy pajamas until just the last couple of days and 1) it is well nigh impossible to try on socks over pajama feet, and 2) you have to get practically naked to free your feet to eliminate that issue. Nothing wrong with naked, it's just inconvenient to go from footy pajama to footloose in any graceful and timely manner.
†††FOOTNOTE (triplecross): Not *that* kind of sticky, you perverts. Around the ankle AND the heel where socks get stuck if they're going to stick.
%FOOTNOTE (percented): I want it on the record that I do not have fat ankles or cankle, but I think my roundheeled ways may be manifesting themselves in my sock fittings.
‡‡‡FOOTNOTE (triplewhateverthehellthosethingsare): Sorry to yell. Just making a point.
§§§FOOTNOTE (swerveswerveswerve): Mountain Daylight Time.
¶¶¶FOOTNOTE (three paragraphs): Like loaves and fishes, my friends.
###FOOTNOTE (three numbers): That's not entirely true, but to list the things I like better than a lovely sock haiku would ruin the moment.
EDITED: Because I wonked the footnotes the first time around. Like the footnotes aren't confusing enough. But now they should make sense -- or as much sense as they ever do.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Best Fishes and Many Tanks
First, let me tell you of knitting a fish.†
Later, I will speak of Casa Bonita.
[SUMMARY: Foreshadowing!]
This is the Deep Sea Angler Fish by Hansi Singh.
In the spirit of never leaving well enough alone, when I knit the original angler fish, it was roughly the same colours Hansi uses in her model fish. It was also worsted weight and somewhere between baseball- and softball-sized.
Not appropriate at all for a Dr. Doom gift, particularly for a birthday as important as *FIVE*.
[SUMMARY: We have high and specific standards here at the Rickety Blog.]
So I poked around and found Cascade Lana Grande, which is roughly three times the size of Cascade 220 and far more likely to reach the football-sized range I was hoping for.
Also? Improbable colours, not normally found in nature.‡
From cast-on to the mad, sniffling, swearing,§ praying¶ removal of the lure,# it took me about seven hours. Most of the things that seemed intimidating and fiddly when I read through the pattern turned out to be relatively painless and stitch-by-stitch.††
I kinda love this fish.
So did Dr. Doom.‡‡
Let's all take a moment to thank the Holy Cats and the FSM for kids who really appreciate knitting.
[SUMMARY: Amen.]
Anyway, it was a hit and we'll talk about Casa Bonita tomorrow.§§ On the tragic weekiversary.¶¶
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Call me Ishmarin.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Not for some benthic creature snuffling along the dark ocean floor, in any case. Also? Doesn't the full frontal fish look a little like the Ferrari from the other day?
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): See, the pipe cleaner that held the lure up so fetchingly in the worsted weight version didn't work so well in mega-thick yarn. The lure kept flopping over his eyes like Martha Stewart's bangs. I whip-stitched a spine along the back of the lure to stiffen it up (heheheh). No go. I sewed increasingly intricate, tight and architectural anchors from the lure to the fish. Still no go. About two minutes into the lurectomy, I was nearly in tears and spitting profanity, afraid I was going to accidentally steek the fish on the eve of the Big Birthday.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Even if you're not a saint-in-waiting, any kind of steeking -- particularly *accidental* steeking -- calls for prayer.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Somewhere in the fight to get the lure to straighten up and fly right, a nagging doubt that had been niggling at the back of my mind kicked in: when my mom was in grade school, she had a friend who left a wire hanger on her bed, rolled over on it in the middle of the night and poked her own eye out. This has left me with a healthy (I can hear you snickering) fear of wire in things that might be slept with or rolled upon. So, really, I was just as happy not having wires on Dr. Dooms fish, only by the time I came to that conclusion, I had a diabolical web of anchor stitches and a real fear of inadvertently steeking the fish.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Hansi's marvelous pattern-writing is fully responsible for the ease of this project.
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): He even put down his glow-in-the-dark, LED-lighted pirate sword long enough to give it a good squish.
§§FOOTNOTE (just a little dizzy): All this sitting up has depleted my fever-soaked constitution.
¶¶FOOTNOTE (quarter note -- because it's a short post. Get it? Yeah, I still think I'm funny): I'm pretty sure that's a word.
Later, I will speak of Casa Bonita.
[SUMMARY: Foreshadowing!]
This is the Deep Sea Angler Fish by Hansi Singh.
In the spirit of never leaving well enough alone, when I knit the original angler fish, it was roughly the same colours Hansi uses in her model fish. It was also worsted weight and somewhere between baseball- and softball-sized.
Not appropriate at all for a Dr. Doom gift, particularly for a birthday as important as *FIVE*.
[SUMMARY: We have high and specific standards here at the Rickety Blog.]
So I poked around and found Cascade Lana Grande, which is roughly three times the size of Cascade 220 and far more likely to reach the football-sized range I was hoping for.
Also? Improbable colours, not normally found in nature.‡
From cast-on to the mad, sniffling, swearing,§ praying¶ removal of the lure,# it took me about seven hours. Most of the things that seemed intimidating and fiddly when I read through the pattern turned out to be relatively painless and stitch-by-stitch.††
I kinda love this fish.
So did Dr. Doom.‡‡
Let's all take a moment to thank the Holy Cats and the FSM for kids who really appreciate knitting.
[SUMMARY: Amen.]
Anyway, it was a hit and we'll talk about Casa Bonita tomorrow.§§ On the tragic weekiversary.¶¶
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Call me Ishmarin.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Not for some benthic creature snuffling along the dark ocean floor, in any case. Also? Doesn't the full frontal fish look a little like the Ferrari from the other day?
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): See, the pipe cleaner that held the lure up so fetchingly in the worsted weight version didn't work so well in mega-thick yarn. The lure kept flopping over his eyes like Martha Stewart's bangs. I whip-stitched a spine along the back of the lure to stiffen it up (heheheh). No go. I sewed increasingly intricate, tight and architectural anchors from the lure to the fish. Still no go. About two minutes into the lurectomy, I was nearly in tears and spitting profanity, afraid I was going to accidentally steek the fish on the eve of the Big Birthday.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Even if you're not a saint-in-waiting, any kind of steeking -- particularly *accidental* steeking -- calls for prayer.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Somewhere in the fight to get the lure to straighten up and fly right, a nagging doubt that had been niggling at the back of my mind kicked in: when my mom was in grade school, she had a friend who left a wire hanger on her bed, rolled over on it in the middle of the night and poked her own eye out. This has left me with a healthy (I can hear you snickering) fear of wire in things that might be slept with or rolled upon. So, really, I was just as happy not having wires on Dr. Dooms fish, only by the time I came to that conclusion, I had a diabolical web of anchor stitches and a real fear of inadvertently steeking the fish.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Hansi's marvelous pattern-writing is fully responsible for the ease of this project.
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): He even put down his glow-in-the-dark, LED-lighted pirate sword long enough to give it a good squish.
§§FOOTNOTE (just a little dizzy): All this sitting up has depleted my fever-soaked constitution.
¶¶FOOTNOTE (quarter note -- because it's a short post. Get it? Yeah, I still think I'm funny): I'm pretty sure that's a word.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Knitwear!
Good? Bad? Ugly? Knit!
{Sarah Backlund via Highsnobette}
I'm so torn. Interesing, to be sure. Funcitional, only on another planet.
You should go check out the whole collection.
Maybe she'll publish the patterns for these...
{Sarah Backlund via Highsnobette}
I'm so torn. Interesing, to be sure. Funcitional, only on another planet.
You should go check out the whole collection.
Maybe she'll publish the patterns for these...
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Got Yatzer?
{Bram Boo via Yatzer}
There's a cubby for your yarn and a cubby for your scissors and a cubby for your stitch markers and a cubby for your pattern and a cubby for the latest Interweave Knits and there's a cubby for your circular needles and there's a cubby for your next project...
[SUMMARY: Still a knitblog!]
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Six Little Updates, All in a Row
Thursday, I got to that magical point†:
This, my knitting friends,‡ is the last vestiges of the mass dick warmer% phase of the Six-at-Once project.
[SUMMARY: Those who cannot do, warm.]
Over the weekend, I turned six heels§:
Soon, these will be viable, wearable socks.¶
[SUMMARY: Send in the clowns -- the circus is in full swing.]
This is SO still a knitblog.#
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Like the mystical time between dark and the first greying of dawn, this represents that goose-bumpy place where phallic becomes footie.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): And guy friends. Guys may be nominally interested in the on-beyond-dick-warmer process.
%FOOTNOTE (percented): I know I seem abnormally fixated on the phrase "dick warmer," but it's still one of the funniest things anyone has ever said. Particularly about knitting.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Wedged in around spending seven hours trying to maintain a conversation with Brother's increasingly-deaf and hearing aid-resistant grandmother. It is a testament to the ultra-simple short-row heel that I could so easily finish six heels despite the schedule constraints.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Except maybe the blue ones, which are about 3/4 of an inch shorter than the other two pairs. I hadn't thought to allow for what the different stitch patterns might do to the length. Lesson learned. But those socks may have to go to someone with smaller feet than mine. I'll keep you posted.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Just wait 'til you see the O's I'm going to F in the next couple of days and the fish I'm about to knit. And the joyful resurrection (just in time for Easter!) of the "Father's Day (2007)" Arrrgyle socks, since I just figured out how to knit intarsia in the round. Aw, yeah, boyeeee... It's gettin' knitty up in here.
This, my knitting friends,‡ is the last vestiges of the mass dick warmer% phase of the Six-at-Once project.
[SUMMARY: Those who cannot do, warm.]
Over the weekend, I turned six heels§:
Soon, these will be viable, wearable socks.¶
[SUMMARY: Send in the clowns -- the circus is in full swing.]
This is SO still a knitblog.#
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Like the mystical time between dark and the first greying of dawn, this represents that goose-bumpy place where phallic becomes footie.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): And guy friends. Guys may be nominally interested in the on-beyond-dick-warmer process.
%FOOTNOTE (percented): I know I seem abnormally fixated on the phrase "dick warmer," but it's still one of the funniest things anyone has ever said. Particularly about knitting.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Wedged in around spending seven hours trying to maintain a conversation with Brother's increasingly-deaf and hearing aid-resistant grandmother. It is a testament to the ultra-simple short-row heel that I could so easily finish six heels despite the schedule constraints.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Except maybe the blue ones, which are about 3/4 of an inch shorter than the other two pairs. I hadn't thought to allow for what the different stitch patterns might do to the length. Lesson learned. But those socks may have to go to someone with smaller feet than mine. I'll keep you posted.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Just wait 'til you see the O's I'm going to F in the next couple of days and the fish I'm about to knit. And the joyful resurrection (just in time for Easter!) of the "Father's Day (2007)" Arrrgyle socks, since I just figured out how to knit intarsia in the round. Aw, yeah, boyeeee... It's gettin' knitty up in here.
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