Incoming!

You know another good way to get mail? Swap.

I suspect there's something in swapping that smacks of scrapbooking and tole painting -- something geeky in a just-so way -- but I love getting the mail.

My very own Dracula swap package came yesterday.




I kinda dig the Victoriana of brown paper packages tied up with string.† Seems Dracula-appropriate.‡

There were munchies too.




In all my travels this Halloween season, I never saw the Ghirardelli bat-black chocolates. Also? I forgot how much I love those barber pole hard candies of the many flavours.§ I must go add them to my Secret Pal list.

And I'm very excited about the idea of pomegranate green tea. I don't know why -- teas purporting to fruit are usually disappointing, but this is pomegranate! And green tea!¶

There's squishy sock yarn in classic Dracula colours#:




What I believe is a dumpling bag with -- get this -- bite marks. I think that's brilliant.




I got a set of stitch markers.




I think the bats in particular are wicked cool.†† Very detailed.




We're clearly into photo-sucking season, boys and girls. I get home too late to take advantage of natural light, but I'm too greedy and impatient to wait until daylight to open stuff.‡‡

I'm NEVER going to make it to saint at this rate.


†FOOTNOTE (crossed): I also dig knowing somewhere eBeth is wandering around singing that to herself.

‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): I think we need more buzz-words like "Dracula-appropriate" and less "child-friendly" or "action item."

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Like old-school Jelly Bellies. Only without popcorn flavour.

¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): And with all those exclamation points, it *has* to be good!

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): In a colourway that used to be Yarrrrn, but has been dubbed by Kat (my upstream swap buddy) "Dracula's Lust." It has "lust" in it... it *has* to be good!

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): I can't pull that off, can I?

‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): I tried. Really. But it was like a mosquito bite -- I could try to ignore it, try not to scratch it, but eventually I gave in. I can't lie... it felt good.

I've Gone Batty†

Well, now, I was going to chat about incoming mail and how wonderful it is, but more wonderful incoming mail came Saturday and I didn't get a chance to photograph it before the camera battery died, so let's talk about outgoing mail today.

[SUMMARY: *gasp*‡]

I actually knitted something. This may not shock you so much, but I really haven't knit for about a month. No reason, just didn't.

But I'm back with a vengeance.§

Once I got this little guy done...




...I got all inspired and I wound up the remaining yarn for the Low Tide Socks and unscrambled what I screwed up on the Purple Prose scarf.¶

Who wouldn't be inspired by this little lopsided face? these sweet wings?




[SUMMARY: Awww... wookat da bat!]

I also made my very first stitch markers. Note the Dracular theme:




So the outgoing mail was almost as much fun as incoming mail.

[SUMMARY: You have your pleasures, I have mine.#]

Did you notice how I hinted there may be multiple posts this week? I bet you're thrilled.

Multiple is good.††

*************
Yohji Homme - Yohji Yamamoto

Marin says: Mmmmmm... licorice and lime. I know that probably sounds awful, but trust me, it's lovely. Similar to bay rum, but edgier than most bay rum scents because of the distinct licorice.‡‡

As the brighter lime wisps off, a powdery cocoa smell is revealed. Actually, it's very much like the patchouli in the Angel line, where the chocolate notes in the patchouli are emphasised.

Eventually, it becomes a powdery cedar with a hint of chocolate, which (come to think of it) may be a patchouli.

Oh, wait! Old books! Mmmmmm...

The Perfumed Court says: Yohji Homme is a fabulous gourmand scent with notes of licorice,$ chocolate,$ coffee,$ rum,$ cinnamon, sandalwood, amber and leather.$ And this is not just for men; ladies would love this one too. The perfect winter scent!!§§

Hans says: I smell licorice in that. And spice. Spicy licorice.


†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Alright, you caught me... ship has sailed. It probably started when I decided my freshman year in college I wanted a bat tattoo. I've only gotten battier since.

‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): That would be *gasp* as in "*gasp* how many more commas could she have possibly used," rather than, "*gasp* I simply don't believe it!"

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): The Dracula swap on Ravelry made it all possible.

¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): I have made excellent and noticable progress on each.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Heheheheheheh.

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): That's what she said.

‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): And because most bay rums are like Old Spice in terms of edgy.

$FOOTNOTE (on the money): Ha! Got one! OK, counting coffee + leather as books. Trust me, it's pretty close.

§§FOOTNOTE (a graphic representation of the boggling of my mind): Why? Why two exclamation points? WHY?

Dear Mary Kay,

It was lovely seeing you Tuesday evening, even if we had to share you with the motley crew at the bar. I guess that's OK, since you blew kisses on your way out so we knew you still loved us.

Anyway, we've missed you.

I'm delighted you've entered the Ravelry vortex. Let me tell you about my absolute favourite Ravelry time-suck: Friend Activity.

See, if you go to your friends page and click on the "friend activity" tab, you can see what your friends are finishing, stashing and queueing.† Since a lot of my Ravelry friends are also blogfriends, I sometimes see divaknitting post her new purse to Ravelry before she posts it to her blog and I feel like a total insider when she does blog about it.‡

Or I see that KellyGirlKnits queued twenty-seven sock patterns and blackbunny stashed twenty-seven sock yarns and think, "Huh. They should get together."§

Of course, I've added 729¶ projects to my wish list discovering them through my friends' discoveries.#

Like a good conversation with friends, sometimes I follow one thread to another until I'm happy and educated and entertained... but I have no idea how I got where I got.††

You probably already know this, but I'd be totally remiss if you didn't and I didn't tell you.

Say, "Hi!" to The Professor for me, and tell him it's perfectly OK to cruise Ravelry at work. On your lunch hour. Or during a break. Or when the wind blows from the west.

XOXO
M


†FOOTNOTE (crossed): I can spell "queueing."

‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Thus far, I have refrained from actually commenting on someone's blog to say, "Oh, saw you on Ravelry, dahling... love your hair, hope you win! Ta!" but the day is coming.

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Also, "Huh. I wonder how many years I would get for mugging blackbunny for her twenty-seven skeins of sock yarn."

¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): 27 x 27 - I did the math.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): The Sadie sweater is pretty cool. I like those big ribby things on the collar -- I fantasise that they'd make me look like I have shoulders.

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): cuball35's Sadie to the Berroco Design Team to Harry Bear to 99 projects in Berroco Chinchilla to dctfibers's Buggs-Baby Uggs! to Candi Jensen to Woven Knit Scarf (looks like Stupid Blanket!) to 145 projects in Colinette Prism... oh, that's what that looks like knitted up... wait, where's cueball35?

Just a Lickle...

How many times can one† lick the pig in a single week before one's loyal friends and readers openly revolt?

Apparently, I'm going to push that envelope. The pictures are trapped in the camera, the news of the weird is thin on the ground.

Welcome to Wednesday. Lick that pig.

*************

So I found this cool sock pattern% on Ravelry, free to download, but I had to join a Yahoo group to get it.

A German Yahoo group.

Oh, how you would have laughed at me trying to translate "Go stickensie fingeren en ein lightenschoketen und smokensie fuzzikopf" to figure out what to put in some of the vaguer blanks.

Part of me hopes I didn't out myself as a French-Canadian lesbian bioterrorist with oddly Marxist leanings.‡

Another part of me says, "Eh, I got the sock pattern. Who cares?"

[SUMMARY: Sometimes ya gotta take the bottom line.]

*************

My dad sent me this link to a nearly real-time§ map of disasters around the world.¶ I have *seriously* mixed emotions about it.

On the one hand, there's a dorky ludicrous side to it that I'm almost ashamed to laugh at.

On the other hand, it's kind of interesting.

On the other hand,# it may feed unnecessarily into some peoples' sense of doom.

I still haven't figured out what all the little icons mean, though they do have one specifically for bus tragedies. And they're going to have a gang activity map soon. And they have an illegal alien activity map†† I haven't fully explored.

Someone has too much time on his hands and too many worries.

[SUMMARY: Now that I put it that way, I'm not ashamed to laugh at this anymore.]

*************

I forgot to mention that Bag Lady Kathryn and I went to the Coral Monday night‡‡ because they have half-price bottles of wine and a couple of appetisers make a really nice meal.

Kelley and The Boy showed up and The Boy was very nice.

[SUMMARY: Wonders on top of wonders.]

*************

And I haven't heard from Soldier Boy.

[SUMMARY: Pbthththththth!]

*************

For those who are interested, Chameleon Colorworks has just changed hands.

It kinda hosed up an order I placed with them two weeks ago.

That order is on the way, however, which means there will be one more photo you want to see that I'm not going to show you for days while I try to get my computer and my camera in the same room together.

Did we like Chameleon for their colour or more because their yarn is soft?

It'll be interesting to see what a new dyer does.

Cider Moon is still in the legal ether. Just thought I'd throw that out. This seems like the place for it.

[SUMMARY: Turn and face the strange changes...]

*************

Last night, Brother asked if I had a Christmas present for him yet.§§

"Nope."

"No present. Don't get me anything. The time has come."

Honestly? I thought he'd finally gone off the deep end and decided we weren't going to exchange presents anymore... sort of like my gynecologist¶¶: "You're 40 now. It's time to put childish dreams behind and face the grim realities of your advanced age."

But, no... my brother is kinder than my gynecologist and simply reminded me that, oh, 16 years ago when I got my first tattoo, I'd given him a standing offer to pay for his first tattoo. And probably buy him a beer or something too.

He's been going to the gym a lot and has ink envy. He's the only guy over 5'5" who doesn't have a tattoo. That's hard on a man.

The moral of this story: Sometimes good tidings come back to you and you can knit one less thing at Christmastime.

[SUMMARY: It's all about the knitting.]

*************

{nasty werk deadline 11/20}

Thanksgiving.

{nasty werk deadline 11/30}

San Diego 12/1-12/3.

Houston 12/4-12/9.

{werk all weekend in Houston to make up for not going for two weeks like the client would like, only see other nasty werk deadlines, above/below}

Family Christmas 12/15.

Christmas.

{nasty werk deadline 12/31}

New Year.

[SUMMARY: Send vodka.]

Why are we still here? I must go werk!


†FOOTNOTE (crossed): And by "one," I mean "I."

%FOOTNOTE (percented): Actually, it was several cool sock patterns and it's that Stephanie van der Linden I told you about the other day.

‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Dear FBI, if you are reading this, I'm only kidding. I think I'm funny, and I think that fact has been well-documented. I know there is nothing funny about French-Canadian lesbian bioterrorism in your world. And by "Marx," I mean "Groucho." Please don't put me on the list.

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): "Updated every 300 seconds... 24/7." Um, Einstein... you can just say "every five minutes." In fact, it sounds better. Cleaner. And no longer.

¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Which should be a Franklin Mint collectors' plate series.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): With three hands, you'd think I'd be better able to count to four, wouldn't you?

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): "SAN DIEGO - illegal alien arrested for drugs and rooster fighting." I am not making this up.

‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): Text message from Kathryn: I can't believe I am suggesting this but how does the Coral Room at 5 for appetizers sound?

§§FOOTNOTE (do those look like those 45-rpm adapters we used to have?): I had a knitting project, of course. There's always a knitting project on deck.

¶¶FOOTNOTE (lop-eared bunny!): Not that my gynecologist and I exchange gifts, mind you, that definitely sounds like something she would say.

If You Don't Teach Them at Home...

...they'll only get it on the streets of Ravelry.

TTHFCIF




I've been playing medical chairs with Kaiser Permanente for the last week. I had an appointment yesterday.

The good news: I lost 60 lbs in about a year.
The bad news: I gained 10 back in the last three months.†
The good news: I lost 5 in the last week.

[SUMMARY: I deserve a cookie.]

The good news: I got paid yesterday.
The bad news: They towed my fucking car% *again* and I'm going to have to shell about 400 bones to free it.‡
The good news: I have a ride to the impound lot.§

[SUMMARY: I need a cookie.]

The good news: It's Friday.
The bad news: Seriously, I can't think of anything bad that it's Friday.
The good news: It's Friday!

[SUMMARY: Gimme a cookie!]

Meanwhile, back at Ravelry...¶

I was actually starting to get... well, not bored, so much, as... um, I was starting to take it for granted. I'd explored, stashed, queued, posted, made friends, joined groups... old hat.#

[SUMMARY: Like knitting your seventh pair of plain ribbed socks.]

Then I realised just how much is there I didn't notice before.

A discussion on huge queues brought me to the "friend activity" tab,†† which shows you what people you've deemed your friends‡‡ have queued and stashed and such.

[SUMMARY: Like your eighth pair of socks being two-at-once on two circs.]

And "friends' blogs" which is a handy place to click over to... friends' blogs.§§

[SUMMARY: Like your ninth pair of socks being Cookie A socks.]

And exploring OTHER PEOPLE'S queues and favourites and such.

[SUMMARY: Like your tenth pair of socks being from New Pathways for Sock Knitters.]

And discovering Stephanie Van der Linden via Moxie Knits' queue...

[SUMMARY: Like your eleventh pair of socks being Stephanie Van der Linden socks.]

Aaaaaaaaand we're back.

As Kelley says, I may have to touch myself.



†FOOTNOTE (crossed): The discovery of Brother's BBQ has done me no favours.

%FOOTNOTE (percented): This is so very not the car's fault. I'm an idiot and a dolt and an unmotivated fool. That blue Saturn was my first new car. It served me well and remains one of the best used cars on the market, meaning I actually have decent resale prospects. But I had to throw the word "fuck" in there just so you'd know the depth of my disgust on this. I have only myself to blame. Fucking me.

‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): While I'm tempted to just let the City and County of Denver keep the damned thing, I seem to remember my knit-charting software is in the back seat.

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): I know it seems I'm reaching, but at least I don't have to ask my dad again.

¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Yes, we were.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): New hat! Red hat! Blue hat!

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Also a greater understanding of the use of queues and favourites. Also the term QUIBBLE (queue under infinity but beyond life expectancy)... and a big shout to Doctroid for that elegant acronym.

‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): ♪Living in a stalker's paradise.♪

§§FOOTNOTE (coreolis!): Big Duh.

Keep Your Penis in Your Genus

Take that, Google!

Did anyone else watch "Cavemen" last night?

I just have a crapload of brain lint for you today, as I did nothing useful last night and apparently don't intend to do anything useful in the very near future.

Well, except for hockey.

Because I volunteered to help Interweave Press with this year's Sticks 'n' Stitches,† I'm on this special offers mailing list for the Colorodo Avalanche. It's not totally rockstar-VIP, but it is a nice litte tweak.

Kelley and I are attending tonight's season opener. I don't know if you've ever attended one sporting event (i.e. -- tonight's hockey game) while a big sporting event from another sport is going on (i.e. -- tonight's Rox playoff game)... it's really wound up.

The Rox score will be updated frequently -- maybe even constantly displayed. During TiVi timeouts and such, they'll show highlights from the baseball game. The Pepsi Center will hum and vibrate with the energy of 19,000 swept up sports fans.

So don't call me tonight 'cause it's going to be off the hook.‡

[SUMMARY: With hip talk like that, I could write sitcoms for CW.]

Can I just say here than anyone who doesn't read the comments... well, they're not necessary to your mental health or your understanding of the complexities of this blog (*ahem*), but brilliant and incisive minds come from all corners of the Innernets to comment, kibbutz and debate the merits of the term "pounded like a two-dollar whore."

It's a regular Algonquin Roundtable there under the surface. You should try it some time.

[SUMMARY: This may partly be a shameless slurp to ameliorate the ick that is to follow. But it works 'cause it's true.]

Right across from the office I'm working in (I can see it from my window) is a Hampton Inn Suites. I walk right past it on my way from the parking lot to the office in which I'm working

Every morning, there's about a half-dozen tourists waiting for their rental cars from valet or catching a cab or gearing up§ for a big day's cruise around downtown. An odd pattern I've noticed: they're almost always wearing Bronco shirts -- the entire family -- and the wife and daughter are more often than not wearing pink Bronco shirts.

Every day. For two months.

And about three-quarters of the nights when I'm heading to my car, Papa John's is delivering pizza. Doesn't matter if it's 4:00 or 7:00. Papa John's is there.

I wonder if the people at the front desk of the Hampton Inn Suites notice these vignettes.

[SUMMARY: Now that work has slowed down a bit, I apparently have too much time on my mind.]

I was trying to come up with a title for today's post. I got stuck in a "bits and bobs" loop, but (or because) Franklin just used that delightful little phrase. So I thought, "Google. Maybe there's a sort of thesaurus for phrases¶ and I can discover an equally delightful little phrase."

Read the footnote -- I didn't find a phrasal thesaurus,# but I did come across a website for English idiom, including a message board for ESL linguists trying to get by in the English-speaking world. I read through several of the forum entries and it fascinates me that they are so fascinated with phrases like, "to grease a palm"†† or "work like a dog."‡‡

[SUMMARY: English, she is more interesting than we remember.]

There's a girl on Ravelry with the screen name "Diva de los Muertos."

Best. Screen. Name. Ever.

Don't think I didn't stalk her and tell her so.

[SUMMARY: *slurp*]

My rug burn is almost completely healed. I need a new one.

[SUMMARY: Is she whining about sex again?§§]

Heh. I've been waiting for a good opportunity to use this picture from Cute Overload. Perhaps it could be the first installment in the Phrasaurus:

Lick the pig: jump the shark, screw the pooch, bite the big one, cock a snook, take the mickey, wag the dog, milk the joke.

[SUMMARY: This has to end soon.]

You know, when Enchanting Juno gets whimsical and musey, it's like a soft summer evening, warm and golden and jasmine-scented. It brushes melancholy and touches on philosophy and there's wisdom and usually fibre somewhere.

When I get whimsical and musey, somehow we end up with rug burns and children licking pigs.

[SUMMARY: Where do I go wrong?]

Ooh! Ooh! Fibre! I started the second Sparkle Sock last night and am halfway up the foot.

[SUMMARY: Weak attempt at knitblog.]

Second choice for TiVi quote blogtitle: "You all have numbers so we'll be doing this alphabetically."

[SUMMARY: Wow. This passes for blogfodder?¶¶]

You're right. I'm done.

Go Rox! Go Avs!##


†FOOTNOTE (crossed): January 5. Mark your calendar. $27 gets you tickets -- much better than last year, my buddy Brendan in the Avs' ticket office tells me (he also tells me, "You have my direct line. If you need tickets this season, just give me a call and I'll see what I can do." I love Brendan. I wonder if Brendan has ever operated a crane...). Your $27 also gets you a hot dog and a drink, plus a goody bag (which I will be helping to assemble in one fashion or another).

‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): I may have full-circled right past dork and back to cool. Humour me.

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Camera, fanny pack for Mom, fishing vest with guidebook for Dad, comfortable shoes, bermuda shorts, Barbie backpack for little Amber... it's a daily festival of guppying up to the stereotype

¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Nope. Not that I could find. There should be.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Phrasaurus?

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): I never realised how dirty that sounds until just now.

‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): You may be wondering why, after a certain amount of research, that's the title I came up with. Hey, a chance to use the word "genus"? I'm there.

§§FOOTNOTE (Pamela Lee got nothing on me): Why, yes. Yes, I am.

¶¶FOOTNOTE (more paragraphs than sense); Why, yes. Yes, it does.

##FOOTNOTE (pint's a pound the world around... believe I'll take two): Take Marin with you!

...and Darn It, People Like Me!

I started out having an off day.

First I forgot to rinse the conditioner out of my hair. Got all the way out of the shower, had dried most of the body off and... *wham!* Realisation! Once I'd accomplished that monumental task, I forgot to put petroleum products back in my hair. I'm all fuzzy.†

I used a LOT of four-letter words driving in this morning. I mean more than usual. I don't know that people were actually driving any worse,‡ but I sure was feeling every bump in the road.

Everything about my job right now makes me feel incompetent.§

I have had no sex of the flesh-and-blood variety for 27-days-but-who's-counting.¶

Oh, yeah, this day definitely started out on the wrong side of my emotional bed.

I see no reason to let it continue this way.

I am eating the best apple in the world (it's a Honeycrisp. If you haven't tried Honeycrisp apples, you really should).

Muppet fur is a delight to knit and goes very quickly.

Nephews.

I have all the knitting books, and I know how to use them.

The sun is shining and the air is clean and fresh from all the rain.

Christian Bale.

There is a crane right down the street and I can see it from my window.

Skulls are in. I can buy skulls at Kohl's, they're so ubiquitous.

Dark chocolate.

I remembered to bring my lunch today.

The new TiVi season is underway and Ted got a butterfly tattoo on "How I Met Your Mother" last night.

Cashmere.

There's a Mini Cooper down the street with my name on it.

I have food, shelter, yarn, a job, friends, family, Colorado, freedom of speech, football, my sense of humour, a good mattress, the right to vote, a SPECTACULAR apple, my cat, this lamp...

Aw, fuck it.

I'm going back to Ravelry.




Ravelry.




Ooooooh... I have Ravelry!




Hearts and flowers, la la la

Happy Tuesday, ev'ry-bahdy!


†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Could be worse; could be raining.

‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Why, oh why would anyone go five miles an hour UNDER the speed limit with nobody in front of them and clear roads? If they're younger than 70? Driving a late model Honda Civic? There's no excuse.

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): I know the files are bad. THEY know the files are bad. But every now and then, the bad conspires to make me think it's my own lack of mad landman skillz.

¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): I know, I know... but I was starting to get used to it and now I'm cranky.

TOMORROW: Summaries!

SO Unfair!

I had to set my fantasy league before running off to pick up my Broncos tickets and there was my invitation to Ravelry and I signed in and my name is TheAntiM and you can come say hi and make me your friend and all that and do you think the Harlot or Juno would let me be their Ravelry friend 'cause that would make my inner stalker very very happy but that's not the point because I have mere seconds before I have to be out of the house and I couldn't do more than barely dabble and I almost forgot to set my fantasy team not that that would be a tragedy since I didn't make any changes from last week but still I had to at least LOOK at it to determine that and if I had had to make changes I may have been late and that would have sucked but not as much as having a Ravelry me all set up and being completely unable to revel in my Ravelry and I really really do have to leave now so think of me languising at the game without my Ravelry.