Sunday, November 20, 2011

Holy Frozen Wasteland, Batman

Every now and then, I use this very blog as a reference: which scarf did I knit for Kelley? what was the name of that perfume? what's the proper generic for Zamboni?

That one stopped me dead in my tracks Saturday night. I was trying to impart some wisdom on The Twitter, so I hopped to the blog and searched "Zamboni."

Then "Steve."

Then "Ice."

Then I looked through my post index and found - *gasp* - I WENT TO ZAMBONI SCHOOL% AND ALL YOU GOT WAS THIS LOUSY T-SHIRT.§

There may be more of this. One of my great #OldAndFeeble tricks is to set something up so thoroughly in my head that I think I did it. I know I do it with email and occasionally phone calls. I had no idea the blog had fallen victim.


In February, Steve and I went to Ice Camp. We learned the history and mechanics of ice resurfacing equipment in a classroom setting.

Then we did some hands-on# illustration of what the TV told us.

We watched an ice resurfacing machine empty after a productive trip around the rink.

We had photo ops.

Then we drove the beast.

THEN we made ice.††

Dudes, if we were in a disaster movie and the Zamboni operator freaked out or had a heart attack,‡‡ I could totally resurface an ice rink.

FOOTNOTE (crossed): As I'm sure you do.

FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): A registered trademark of Frank J. Zamboni & Co., Inc.

%FOOTNOTE (percented): Like Hogwarts, but more athletic. Also? In fricking FEBRUARY.

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): It's actually a cool t-shirt that says "I drove the [picture of a Zamboni] at The Ice Ranch." But you don't actually get it. You have to *earn* it.

FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Which is the generic of Zamboni.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Literally, though you have to be careful, as there are blades that cut and pumps that suck.

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): When you're in the know, you know better than to say you drove the Zamboni. When you're in the know, you make ice.

‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): I think this movie should be made. It should be called "The Ice Marin Cometh."

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I do that #OldAndFeeble trick, too. Sometimes I don't even bother to check if I've already said it. How many people am I boring on my blog, anyway? In a few years it'll be the "Stop me if you've heard this one" deal and then "Oh, the hell with it. I'm old and can re-tell anything I want!" but we won't add the "because no one listens anyway".

The Ice Marin Cometh. Bwa-ha-haaa!