Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Thank you, but...

Why the Cowboys?

My first true heartbreak as a sports fan came when the Cowboys beat the Broncos in Super Bowl XII.

We had very little money, but my parents rented a motel room in Tabernash because the motel had cable§ TV. In the mountains in 1978, we rarely saw a clear TV picture.

Cowboys. *pffft*


FOOTNOTE (crossed): ... frickin' ...

FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): As in "Where in the hell is Tabernash, Colorado?" For those of you scoring at home, I have also lived in "Where in the hell is Gunnison, Colorado?"

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): And colour!

Excuse #11

The "Why I Have Neglected My Blog" series:

I was going to stop at 10, but this wandered across my email and I had to take to my couch with the vapours, precluding blogging for a few days. Under the subject "Subject: You might want to change your mind about Twilight" and the text "After reading this brilliant plea^ for a faithful movie adaptation of the fourth book, 'Breaking Dawn':"§

Why Breaking Dawn Must Be Made

FOOTNOTE (crossed): From someone with a charmingly alarming sense of humour.

FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): I'm not sure "vapour," when used this way, should take the British spelling. "Vapours" seems like a quintessentially Southern antebellum sort of thing.

^FOOTNOTE (careted): Doubly brilliant in that it reveals that stupid vampires don't just sparkle, they SCUBA.

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): I haven't exactly changed my mind, but this did have the effect of making me wildly curious and likely to beg, borrow or steal Breaking Dawn just so I can witness the train wreck for myself.

FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): I know there are a bunch of delicate flowers out there. Thematically, linguistically... you're gonna want to take to your couch with the vapors.

ETA: This excuse goes to 11!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Excuse #10

The "Why I Have Neglected My Blog" series:

I don't know exactly what it is, but I suspect it was Hans's doing.


I had to take a little trip to the 1999 Building this afternoon. While I was there, I went to the information desk and asked about the arms.

First, let me take a moment to mention that the brain trust that runs the information desk was none too geeked about my asking. Not reluctant, not angry, but not particularly inquisitive or bright.^

He did, however, have an answer: it's a permanent mobile scaffolding§ for window washing.

Crack investigative reporter that I am, I was prepared to ask him probing questions - did they find it more economical to hire window washers who didn't bring their own scaffolding? did window washers stop bringing their own scaffolding? did they ever decorate the arms with Christmas lights in a festive nod to the holiday season? could I do that for them?

Alas, I sensed he was in no mood to get all Vanity Fair about it, so you get the Dear Abby version instead.

Still, you had a right to know.

FOOTNOTE (crossed): Screw it. I'm doing footnotes.

FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Because that's the kind of information service I provide to you, the Rickety consumer.

^FOOTNOTE (careted): C'mon... if you were in his shoes and someone asked you something other than "do you know when the next train comes?" or "which floor for Time Out Temps?" wouldn't you be jazzed?

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): My words, not his. He may or may not be familiar with "scaffolding."

FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): 1.5 column inches. But Abby never did footnotes.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Excuse #9

The "Why I Have Neglected My Blog" series:

Because I don't think I can go any further without a brownie, thanks to Sarah.

Excuse #8

The "Why I Have Neglected My Blog" series:

The sun was in my eyes?

Excuse #7

The "Why I Have Neglected My Blog" series:

Internet sabbatical.

I've been Internetally active for 17 years. Every now and then, I overload and I don't want to have anything to do with the passwords and the typing and the flaming and the Princespeak and the lost hours and the lack of sunshine.

The combination of Facebook (which I'm growing to loathe, but will lose a bunch of people if I don't stay), Twitter (which I love to death) and this blog (which I need to remind myself is mine and I can do what I want with it) is a lot more than I've ever maintained before.

I was tired of it.

Excuse #6

The "Why I Have Neglected My Blog" series:

I'm trying a bunch of new stuff, like embroidery and pole dancing and considering entering a writing challenge and you don't want to hear about those until I know what I'm talking about.

OK. That one was really weak.

Excuse #5

The "Why I Have Neglected My Blog" series:

Some days I'm just not funny.

Excuse #4

The "Why I Have Neglected My Blog" series:

I have moments of extreme guilt over not properly lauding My Friends at Nintendo, my Year Long Swap Pal, Anna-Liza and others who have sent me lovely things that I'm really very grateful for and I want to put up pictures, but there's this thing with a camera cable...

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Excuse #3

The "Why I Have Neglected My Blog" series:

I am tired of footnotes. Partly because they're exhausting and time-consuming and sometimes I don't feel clever enough to do them, and partly because a couple of people have said mean things about them and now I'm self-conscious about the footnotes.

So I think the footnotes may have to go.

I'm considering a system of italics and clear speaking.

Excuse #2

The "Why I Have Neglected My Blog" series:

I hate to play the executive card, but I did just take a job not that long ago. And, while I'd swear I wasn't doing half as much as I was before The Big Move (trust me, for me, it was HUGE), I seem to be roughly one bazillion times as busy.

Stupid paperwerk.

I am a Grateful Show-Off

LOOK! This is the last batch of stuff before I hid my camera cable from myself.

I love it! My swap pal is the BEST! She's so awfully clever - just look at the knitting pirates.

There's more! I've received a full complement of spiffy stuff from Swap Pal.

More will come, but until then, oooh and aaah at the pretty, pretty bounty.

Still-secret Swap Pal, I am truly grateful despite my callous ways.

And this! Because The Moo loves me, she has contributed to my collection of Stupid Sparkly Sweethearts!

I'm going for eBay glory one of these days...

And a SKULL bag. For the grocery store. So the crunchy granola kids who check me out at Sunflower Market can tell me how rad I am.

Yep. Those are my friends: giving me the illusion of radosity for nearly 43 years now.

Excuse #1

The "Why I Have Neglected My Blog" series:

I lost my camera cable. Instead of leaving it plugged into the USB port where I always know where it is, I coiled it up neatly and put it in my drawer and promptly forgot about it.

I am shocked - SHOCKED, I tell you - that it didn't suddenly spring out of the drawer the second I decided to buy a new one.

But I didn't buy a new one because, eh, I wasn't really blogging that much anyway.

Vicious circle.