John Cusack is going to play Edgar Allen Poe.
I knew all this sainthood shit would pay off eventually and I would be rewarded.
Showing posts with label Brilliant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Brilliant. Show all posts
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Fireworks!
Actually, I'm irritated in an old geezer you-kids-get-off-my-lawn way about blown-up-in-my-backyard fireworks right now.†
Huh. I've already digressed and I haven't even started talking yet.‡
There are three great things I saw this weekend that I wish to share, plus a bonus of two happy things that happened:
"Rock-paper-scissors... lizard-spock," I replied to a peal of delighted laughter.
Then she cooed and exclaimed over my emergency wallet.††
It was a good day.
And that was a totally elegant segue into a package% from my not-so-secret-pal Jo.‡‡ Because my emergency wallet looks like this:
And Jo, not knowing a thing about my emergency wallet,§§ sent me this soap:
Which was an adjunct to that month's subject prize, the washcloth¶¶:
And came with a bonus soap dish:
And totally bath-related pirate cupcake set##:
So thank you, Jo, both for your patience and for the lovely gifts.
Give me another two months and I should be caught up.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): But real fireworks, performed by professionals, are one of my favourite things.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): That may be a record. Lyda's going to be so proud when she sees.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): As one does.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): I took Spanish, so I know it's pronounced "ON-hell pa-GONE," but he'll always be Angel Pagan to me. Plus? If you Google "Angel Pagan" (even without the quotation marks), you don't get a single religious reference for pages.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): And I mean both in terms of "Jebus Cats, what a couple of dinks" and "Double Income No Kids."
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): The wallet that goes in my pocket in which I keep my driver's license, debit card and a small chunk of cash to hold me over when I leave my purse somewhere three times out of ten. Usually home, mind you, but one should have the necessities with one. If that one has juvenile onset Alzheimer's like this one does.
%FOOTNOTE (percented): I'm smooth like peanut butter. Note how I not only tied it all together with the Cute as Hell theme, I managed to not let on that this package arrived two months ago and I'm just getting to it now.
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): Who just revealed herself to me per the terms of our year-long swap agreement, in which I was totally wishy-washy and said, "Oh, let's be secret for six months, then not-secret for six months." I am fair, if indecisive.
§§FOOTNOTE (sssupposedly): I think.
¶¶FOOTNOTE (two heads better than one): Which was hard to photograph adequately, but does, indeed, have a black skull motif rampant on a black background.
##FOOTNOTE (that's the symbol for shock): Why? Where do you eat your cupcakes?
Huh. I've already digressed and I haven't even started talking yet.‡
There are three great things I saw this weekend that I wish to share, plus a bonus of two happy things that happened:
- I landed home Saturday afternoon and flipped on the TiVi.§ There was a baseball game right in front of me, which I was just about to turn off, when I noticed the player up to bat was Angel Pagan.¶ I wish I could have kids so I could name one of them Angel Pagan.
- Driving to Jerusalem Restaurant for a very patriotic Third of July dinner, I passed the giant convent/Catholic convalescence home in the 'hood. There was a Barbie-pink scooter waiting at the giant gate to make a left onto 29th. "Wish I had a camera," I thought. "This would be a great blog bit." Then the scooter pulled in behind me and it was a bearded guy in aviator sunglasses and that made it all the better.
- On the same drive, I was at a red light and across from me were two of the whitest, yuppiest, Chanel sunglass-wearing, designer polo shirt-clad 30-something dinks# ever seen, playing a vuvuzela and waving a South African flag out of the sunroof on their BMW. I'm not saying they *couldn't* be South African, but if they are, they're on the wrong side of the popular political tracks and maybe shouldn't be displaying the equivalent of one of us wearing a loin cloth and a feathered headdress and doing the Tomahawk Chop out of the windows of our BMWs.
"Rock-paper-scissors... lizard-spock," I replied to a peal of delighted laughter.
Then she cooed and exclaimed over my emergency wallet.††
It was a good day.
And that was a totally elegant segue into a package% from my not-so-secret-pal Jo.‡‡ Because my emergency wallet looks like this:
And Jo, not knowing a thing about my emergency wallet,§§ sent me this soap:
Which was an adjunct to that month's subject prize, the washcloth¶¶:
And came with a bonus soap dish:
And totally bath-related pirate cupcake set##:
So thank you, Jo, both for your patience and for the lovely gifts.
Give me another two months and I should be caught up.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): But real fireworks, performed by professionals, are one of my favourite things.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): That may be a record. Lyda's going to be so proud when she sees.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): As one does.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): I took Spanish, so I know it's pronounced "ON-hell pa-GONE," but he'll always be Angel Pagan to me. Plus? If you Google "Angel Pagan" (even without the quotation marks), you don't get a single religious reference for pages.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): And I mean both in terms of "Jebus Cats, what a couple of dinks" and "Double Income No Kids."
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): The wallet that goes in my pocket in which I keep my driver's license, debit card and a small chunk of cash to hold me over when I leave my purse somewhere three times out of ten. Usually home, mind you, but one should have the necessities with one. If that one has juvenile onset Alzheimer's like this one does.
%FOOTNOTE (percented): I'm smooth like peanut butter. Note how I not only tied it all together with the Cute as Hell theme, I managed to not let on that this package arrived two months ago and I'm just getting to it now.
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): Who just revealed herself to me per the terms of our year-long swap agreement, in which I was totally wishy-washy and said, "Oh, let's be secret for six months, then not-secret for six months." I am fair, if indecisive.
§§FOOTNOTE (sssupposedly): I think.
¶¶FOOTNOTE (two heads better than one): Which was hard to photograph adequately, but does, indeed, have a black skull motif rampant on a black background.
##FOOTNOTE (that's the symbol for shock): Why? Where do you eat your cupcakes?
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Excuse #11
The "Why I Have Neglected My Blog" series:
I was going to stop at 10, but this wandered across my email† and I had to take to my couch with the vapours,‡ precluding blogging for a few days. Under the subject "Subject: You might want to change your mind about Twilight" and the text "After reading this brilliant plea^ for a faithful movie adaptation of the fourth book, 'Breaking Dawn':"§
Why Breaking Dawn Must Be Made¶
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): From someone with a charmingly alarming sense of humour.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): I'm not sure "vapour," when used this way, should take the British spelling. "Vapours" seems like a quintessentially Southern antebellum sort of thing.
^FOOTNOTE (careted): Doubly brilliant in that it reveals that stupid vampires don't just sparkle, they SCUBA.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): I haven't exactly changed my mind, but this did have the effect of making me wildly curious and likely to beg, borrow or steal Breaking Dawn just so I can witness the train wreck for myself.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): I know there are a bunch of delicate flowers out there. Thematically, linguistically... you're gonna want to take to your couch with the vapors.
ETA: This excuse goes to 11!
I was going to stop at 10, but this wandered across my email† and I had to take to my couch with the vapours,‡ precluding blogging for a few days. Under the subject "Subject: You might want to change your mind about Twilight" and the text "After reading this brilliant plea^ for a faithful movie adaptation of the fourth book, 'Breaking Dawn':"§
Why Breaking Dawn Must Be Made¶
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): From someone with a charmingly alarming sense of humour.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): I'm not sure "vapour," when used this way, should take the British spelling. "Vapours" seems like a quintessentially Southern antebellum sort of thing.
^FOOTNOTE (careted): Doubly brilliant in that it reveals that stupid vampires don't just sparkle, they SCUBA.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): I haven't exactly changed my mind, but this did have the effect of making me wildly curious and likely to beg, borrow or steal Breaking Dawn just so I can witness the train wreck for myself.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): I know there are a bunch of delicate flowers out there. Thematically, linguistically... you're gonna want to take to your couch with the vapors.
ETA: This excuse goes to 11!
Friday, March 19, 2010
The Moment You've All Been Waiting For
At least it's the moment I've been dying to share with you.†
[SUMMARY: Po-tay-to, po-tah-to.]
I shan't drag you through the litany of "stuck in the camera" and "busy at work" and all that. You know the song, I'll let you sing it on your own.
Suffice to say I finished Dr. Doom's Christmas sweater around the end of January,‡ then through the vagaries of joint custody, finally got it to him mid-February.
I took the basic top-down raglan sweater,§ I've been using for everything Nephew, added a textured alligator belly through the miracle of intarsia-in-the-round, then winged it on the sleeves.¶
%
It was the winging it part that really mucked up the works.
There I'd be in my chair at work, madly correcting, explaining, marketing, e-schmoozing and otherwise getting the job done, when suddenly, sleeve panic would hit me and I'd start doing the alligator thing with my elbows,# using paper clips to mark the place where alligator lips should be and re-figuring where alligator mouth should go...
[SUMMARY: Every person does multi-tasking in his own way.]
Is it any wonder I was so absent for so long? I had a lot going on.
In the end, I think it worked out pretty well.
But the true test is how it works for Dr. Doom.
[SUMMARY: Proof, meet pudding.]
First, getting naked in Chipotle.††
Then test-driving the beast.
Why, arm, what big teeth you have!
Let's see, important knitting stuff:
First, this is the proudest knitting moment of my knitterly life. It's the closest I've come to designing something, and it's something unique and cool and interesting and wowing and I'm just so tickled.
The sweater was originally inspired by this genius shirt from the Discovery Channel Store. I quickly realised that a white and pale grey shirt was no match for a five-year-old supervillain, so I decided to go with the classic gator.
Other than the pupils of the eyes, which are Dark Horse Fantasy, the whole thing is knit in Cascade 220 Superwash.
I made nose-holes‡‡ of I-cord loops.
The eyes took as long as the rest of the sweater put together. I had alligator eyes all over my living room for weeks. When one gets a solid vision of what one wants, it's hard for one to accept anything different.§§
One thing I believe the pattern misses, and that I missed too, is that when you put the sleeve stitches on holders to knit the body, you cast on an inch under the arm.
Which - and this is very important - adds two inches to the body of the sweater.
[SUMMARY: Math even I can do.]
On the one hand, I was delighted to get gauge. On the other, getting gauge meant I was the full two inches bigger than I wanted.
I had planned to sew up the sides, take out a couple of inches, but figured I'd better try it on the good Doctor first.¶¶ Yes, it's just a bit too big.
The neck is also big, being unfinished. I knit a nice 3-2 rib collar about 37 times and it always seemed too small.## So I left it unfinished for maximum headroom. Yes, it's just a bit too big.
I told Brother I wanted to take it home and finish it properly and he assured me Doom will be wearing a t-shirt under it most of the time, so aesthetically it's OK.
[SUMMARY: Aesthetics are what you're looking for in a sweater for a five-year-old.]
I don't know if he doesn't want to put me out or if he's afraid they'll never see it if I get my grubby hands on it again.
Hey! We've had a fair amount of knitting around here lately. You'd almost think this was still a knitblog.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): And, y'know, it's all about me. And my lamp.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): And I would've finished it *much* faster if Dr. Doom hadn't given me a VERY COMPELLING game for my Nintendo DS for Christmas. *ahem*
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): And I'm not sure why I keep using this one, except that it's familiar. The sizing is all wrong, vis-a-vis boys S-M-L. I always ask Brother to measure a shirt that fits, then try to match the inches from there.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Wing... sleeves... heheheheheh... I'm funny.
%FOOTNOTE (percented): With the new office, I no longer have a clean white wall behind a hanger to photograph my sweaters. Whatever shall I do now?
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Sound effect: "RAWR!"
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Note the find cow hat on Brother's head, a Valentine's present from his favourite Seester. He brings me Icelandic sludge and lopi, I bring him cow hats.
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): nostrils-nose holes ... to-may-to, to-mah-to.
§§FOOTNOTE (twisted definition time): Read: lesser.
¶¶FOOTNOTE (you can beat it into my head): I may not be a math genius, but I do have my moments of clarity.
##FOOTNOTE (square head, round hole, pound pound): Which I determined by trying to fit it over my own head, under the suspicion that heads grow less than anything else in a person's life, therefore kid heads must be nearly as large adult heads.
[SUMMARY: Po-tay-to, po-tah-to.]
I shan't drag you through the litany of "stuck in the camera" and "busy at work" and all that. You know the song, I'll let you sing it on your own.
Suffice to say I finished Dr. Doom's Christmas sweater around the end of January,‡ then through the vagaries of joint custody, finally got it to him mid-February.
I took the basic top-down raglan sweater,§ I've been using for everything Nephew, added a textured alligator belly through the miracle of intarsia-in-the-round, then winged it on the sleeves.¶
%
It was the winging it part that really mucked up the works.
There I'd be in my chair at work, madly correcting, explaining, marketing, e-schmoozing and otherwise getting the job done, when suddenly, sleeve panic would hit me and I'd start doing the alligator thing with my elbows,# using paper clips to mark the place where alligator lips should be and re-figuring where alligator mouth should go...
[SUMMARY: Every person does multi-tasking in his own way.]
Is it any wonder I was so absent for so long? I had a lot going on.
In the end, I think it worked out pretty well.
But the true test is how it works for Dr. Doom.
[SUMMARY: Proof, meet pudding.]
First, getting naked in Chipotle.††
Then test-driving the beast.
Why, arm, what big teeth you have!
Let's see, important knitting stuff:
First, this is the proudest knitting moment of my knitterly life. It's the closest I've come to designing something, and it's something unique and cool and interesting and wowing and I'm just so tickled.
The sweater was originally inspired by this genius shirt from the Discovery Channel Store. I quickly realised that a white and pale grey shirt was no match for a five-year-old supervillain, so I decided to go with the classic gator.
Other than the pupils of the eyes, which are Dark Horse Fantasy, the whole thing is knit in Cascade 220 Superwash.
I made nose-holes‡‡ of I-cord loops.
The eyes took as long as the rest of the sweater put together. I had alligator eyes all over my living room for weeks. When one gets a solid vision of what one wants, it's hard for one to accept anything different.§§
One thing I believe the pattern misses, and that I missed too, is that when you put the sleeve stitches on holders to knit the body, you cast on an inch under the arm.
Which - and this is very important - adds two inches to the body of the sweater.
[SUMMARY: Math even I can do.]
On the one hand, I was delighted to get gauge. On the other, getting gauge meant I was the full two inches bigger than I wanted.
I had planned to sew up the sides, take out a couple of inches, but figured I'd better try it on the good Doctor first.¶¶ Yes, it's just a bit too big.
The neck is also big, being unfinished. I knit a nice 3-2 rib collar about 37 times and it always seemed too small.## So I left it unfinished for maximum headroom. Yes, it's just a bit too big.
I told Brother I wanted to take it home and finish it properly and he assured me Doom will be wearing a t-shirt under it most of the time, so aesthetically it's OK.
[SUMMARY: Aesthetics are what you're looking for in a sweater for a five-year-old.]
I don't know if he doesn't want to put me out or if he's afraid they'll never see it if I get my grubby hands on it again.
Hey! We've had a fair amount of knitting around here lately. You'd almost think this was still a knitblog.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): And, y'know, it's all about me. And my lamp.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): And I would've finished it *much* faster if Dr. Doom hadn't given me a VERY COMPELLING game for my Nintendo DS for Christmas. *ahem*
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): And I'm not sure why I keep using this one, except that it's familiar. The sizing is all wrong, vis-a-vis boys S-M-L. I always ask Brother to measure a shirt that fits, then try to match the inches from there.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Wing... sleeves... heheheheheh... I'm funny.
%FOOTNOTE (percented): With the new office, I no longer have a clean white wall behind a hanger to photograph my sweaters. Whatever shall I do now?
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Sound effect: "RAWR!"
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Note the find cow hat on Brother's head, a Valentine's present from his favourite Seester. He brings me Icelandic sludge and lopi, I bring him cow hats.
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): nostrils-nose holes ... to-may-to, to-mah-to.
§§FOOTNOTE (twisted definition time): Read: lesser.
¶¶FOOTNOTE (you can beat it into my head): I may not be a math genius, but I do have my moments of clarity.
##FOOTNOTE (square head, round hole, pound pound): Which I determined by trying to fit it over my own head, under the suspicion that heads grow less than anything else in a person's life, therefore kid heads must be nearly as large adult heads.
Friday, February 19, 2010
How Wagnerian
*ringring* *ringring*
"This is Marin."
"Hello, I'm trying to reach Griselda."†
"I'm sorry, you have the wrong number."‡
I could *totally* rock "Griselda."§
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): I didn't know Griselda was a real name. I thought it was strictly the province of children's books.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Usually, I'd try to figure out if they were actually calling for someone in the company and had just dialled the wrong number, but I feel confident that if there was a Griselda in the building, I'd know about it.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Griselda Elizabeth Untiedt has *such* a ring. Which is a pun, though an obscure one.
"This is Marin."
"Hello, I'm trying to reach Griselda."†
"I'm sorry, you have the wrong number."‡
I could *totally* rock "Griselda."§
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): I didn't know Griselda was a real name. I thought it was strictly the province of children's books.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Usually, I'd try to figure out if they were actually calling for someone in the company and had just dialled the wrong number, but I feel confident that if there was a Griselda in the building, I'd know about it.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Griselda Elizabeth Untiedt has *such* a ring. Which is a pun, though an obscure one.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Best Thing I've Heard All Day
"Relax. There's no debtor's prison in America and they're not going to eat you."
Thursday, December 10, 2009
BRILLIANT!
So I was checking out the list of vendors participating in the second annual free shipping day,† and one in particular lept out at me.‡
I could so be their spokesblogger.§
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Now that the holiday season goes Kay Jewelers Holiday Ad Kick-Off Day (Oct 15), Store Decoration Day (Oct 30), Chiropractor's Card Mailing Day (Nov 15), Black Thursday (formerly known as Thanksgiving), Black Friday, Cyber Monday, Free Shipping in Time for Christmas Day (Dec 17)... our advent calendars are going to have to be displayed in installments.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Practically grabbed me around the throat. Does anybody else get abnormally tickled to see their name? Or is it just us weird name folks?
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): At *least* their patron saint.
I could so be their spokesblogger.§
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Now that the holiday season goes Kay Jewelers Holiday Ad Kick-Off Day (Oct 15), Store Decoration Day (Oct 30), Chiropractor's Card Mailing Day (Nov 15), Black Thursday (formerly known as Thanksgiving), Black Friday, Cyber Monday, Free Shipping in Time for Christmas Day (Dec 17)... our advent calendars are going to have to be displayed in installments.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Practically grabbed me around the throat. Does anybody else get abnormally tickled to see their name? Or is it just us weird name folks?
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): At *least* their patron saint.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
OMG! OMG! I WON! I WON!
The names were written on sticky notes and sealed shut.†
I put them in an empty Healthy Choice pasta cooking bowl.‡
I shook them.
Then Hans rubbed his hands together gleefully and said, "Who's going to love me? Who are you?
*rustlerustle*
"Jay!"
"Jax," I said.§
"Jax!"
Curious George, faithful pug companion of my gorgeous and sassy cousin¶ Jacquelyn, will be dining from a luxury pet dish while his mom's B-i-r-d Watcher's Weekly# magazines are neatly contained in their chrome cage.
Congratulations, Jax.
See? People really do win at the Rickety Blog.††
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Which afforded me minutes of entertainment as Hans tried to paw the winning entry open.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Experimental office lunch. I saved the bowl to see if I could cook my own pasta in it. It's been sitting on my credenza for two weeks under those auspices.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Apparently Hans crosses his Y's.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): From another... grandmother? Jax is my cousin's cousin, but the three of us make such good cousins we stick with the honourary cousin position. Besides, did you see how many words it took for me to explain that? And that's the short version. It's much easier to just go with "cousins."
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): I can only say that because she's far enough away not to smack me. Jax detests b-i-r-d-s. We can't even say the word in front of her -- that's why we spell it.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed: And I feel like Ed McMahon.
I put them in an empty Healthy Choice pasta cooking bowl.‡
I shook them.
Then Hans rubbed his hands together gleefully and said, "Who's going to love me? Who are you?
*rustlerustle*
"Jay!"
"Jax," I said.§
"Jax!"
Curious George, faithful pug companion of my gorgeous and sassy cousin¶ Jacquelyn, will be dining from a luxury pet dish while his mom's B-i-r-d Watcher's Weekly# magazines are neatly contained in their chrome cage.
Congratulations, Jax.
See? People really do win at the Rickety Blog.††
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Which afforded me minutes of entertainment as Hans tried to paw the winning entry open.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Experimental office lunch. I saved the bowl to see if I could cook my own pasta in it. It's been sitting on my credenza for two weeks under those auspices.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Apparently Hans crosses his Y's.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): From another... grandmother? Jax is my cousin's cousin, but the three of us make such good cousins we stick with the honourary cousin position. Besides, did you see how many words it took for me to explain that? And that's the short version. It's much easier to just go with "cousins."
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): I can only say that because she's far enough away not to smack me. Jax detests b-i-r-d-s. We can't even say the word in front of her -- that's why we spell it.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed: And I feel like Ed McMahon.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Bored of the Rings...
...has been on my bookshelf in one form or another† since 1980.
Now, finally, after 40 years,‡ the Harvard Lampoon has taken on another mega-star.
Be still my stupid sparkly beating heart.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Well, one ratty paperback after another, really. The "form" of which I speak is mostly a matter of level of disintegration and magnitude of coffee-stained pages.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Srsly. Very Short List says so.
Now, finally, after 40 years,‡ the Harvard Lampoon has taken on another mega-star.
Be still my stupid sparkly beating heart.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Well, one ratty paperback after another, really. The "form" of which I speak is mostly a matter of level of disintegration and magnitude of coffee-stained pages.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Srsly. Very Short List says so.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
My New Favourite Thing
Dad sent this to me. I love it. I want to turn it into a mural on my living room wall.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Go. Look.
For those of you who aren't already VSL junkies,† allow me to direct you to today's offering:
10Steps.sg, a graphic designer's website that specifically features "50 extraordinary and attractive billboards" and generally has a bunch of cool advertising and graphic design.‡
One of the billboards is a Denver Water advertisement,§ so I feel a sense of civic pride¶:
There are also two Mini Cooper billboards. This is my lucky day.#
I'm a dork like that.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): And I think you all should be.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): I also like the "44 advertising posters with clever ideas."
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): I have long thought this was a particularly good ad campaign, though I loathe being told what to do with my water.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Any time Denver isn't in the news for housing terrorists of one kind or another, I am elated.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): What with all the validation.
10Steps.sg, a graphic designer's website that specifically features "50 extraordinary and attractive billboards" and generally has a bunch of cool advertising and graphic design.‡
One of the billboards is a Denver Water advertisement,§ so I feel a sense of civic pride¶:
There are also two Mini Cooper billboards. This is my lucky day.#
I'm a dork like that.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): And I think you all should be.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): I also like the "44 advertising posters with clever ideas."
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): I have long thought this was a particularly good ad campaign, though I loathe being told what to do with my water.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Any time Denver isn't in the news for housing terrorists of one kind or another, I am elated.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): What with all the validation.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Drive-By
Just so's you know my head hasn't exploded yet, here I am.
One of these days I'm going to load the last month's worth of pictures in one giant *blurgh* of photojournalism,† but for now, let me tell you a little story and share a link.
Sunday was the Broncos home opener.‡ I don't have a parking pass, but the boss's FIL has vintage season tickets and VIP parking. The boss took his son, but they live right on the very spiffy light rail line to the stadium, so they decided to go the public trasportation route.
Thus, I got the VIP parking pass.
We got to the lot I parked near the entrance, which makes for a longer walk, but a much quicker getaway when the game is over. This was really good thinking, only I forgot one key element: I pulled into the space head-in.
When we got back to the car after the game, I realised my error. Not only was I going to have to rely on the kindness of strangers to back all the way into the traffic lane, I was going to have to back to my right with an empty space on my right and a giant truck on my left... exactly the wrong configuration for my needs.
AND... it turns out that when you are flanked by two giant trucks -- even if one of them is a full parking space removed from you -- and your head is sunk deep in truck territory, it' really hard to see oncoming traffic anyway.
After a moment, I realised I drive a Mini Cooper.§
I backed all the way to the end of the parking space, turned the wheel hard right and proceeded to execute a perfect seven-point turn.¶ When I had completed this feat, Kelley poked me and pointed at the small crowd that had gathered to watch the magic of the Cutest Little Car in the Whole Wide World.
Amazement, applause and quite possibly the best object lesson in why a tiny little car is one of the best accessories a sports fan can have.
*************
An email exchange:
From: eBeth
To: Marin
Subject: Now here's a textile for you!#
http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2009/09/spider-silk/
From: Marin
To: eBeth
Subject: Re: Now here's a textile for you!
Holy cats. It's like my best dream spun out of my worst nightmare.
Plus... bulletproof shawl!
From: eBeth
To: Marin
Subject: Now here's a textile for you!
Surely there's a pithy maxim buried in there somewhere. If life gives you spiders, make a shawl....
*************
I don't know about all y'all, but this makes way more sense than that lemon thing.††
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Y'know... a pod of whales, an oodle of cupcakes, a *blurgh* of photojournalism.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): You may have noticed.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Two points for effort, Captain Obvious!
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): If you think there's no such thing as a perfect seven-point turn, well... you really need to see me in action.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): *WARNING!* Giant spider alert! Sarah should proceed with caution!
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): I don't believe life has ever handed me lemons, but it's handed me innumerable spiders. Lemons would, in fact, be a nice change, and would require no sugar-coating (heheheh) to be a big step up.
One of these days I'm going to load the last month's worth of pictures in one giant *blurgh* of photojournalism,† but for now, let me tell you a little story and share a link.
Sunday was the Broncos home opener.‡ I don't have a parking pass, but the boss's FIL has vintage season tickets and VIP parking. The boss took his son, but they live right on the very spiffy light rail line to the stadium, so they decided to go the public trasportation route.
Thus, I got the VIP parking pass.
We got to the lot I parked near the entrance, which makes for a longer walk, but a much quicker getaway when the game is over. This was really good thinking, only I forgot one key element: I pulled into the space head-in.
When we got back to the car after the game, I realised my error. Not only was I going to have to rely on the kindness of strangers to back all the way into the traffic lane, I was going to have to back to my right with an empty space on my right and a giant truck on my left... exactly the wrong configuration for my needs.
AND... it turns out that when you are flanked by two giant trucks -- even if one of them is a full parking space removed from you -- and your head is sunk deep in truck territory, it' really hard to see oncoming traffic anyway.
After a moment, I realised I drive a Mini Cooper.§
I backed all the way to the end of the parking space, turned the wheel hard right and proceeded to execute a perfect seven-point turn.¶ When I had completed this feat, Kelley poked me and pointed at the small crowd that had gathered to watch the magic of the Cutest Little Car in the Whole Wide World.
Amazement, applause and quite possibly the best object lesson in why a tiny little car is one of the best accessories a sports fan can have.
*************
An email exchange:
From: eBeth
To: Marin
Subject: Now here's a textile for you!#
http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2009/09/spider-silk/
From: Marin
To: eBeth
Subject: Re: Now here's a textile for you!
Holy cats. It's like my best dream spun out of my worst nightmare.
Plus... bulletproof shawl!
From: eBeth
To: Marin
Subject: Now here's a textile for you!
Surely there's a pithy maxim buried in there somewhere. If life gives you spiders, make a shawl....
*************
I don't know about all y'all, but this makes way more sense than that lemon thing.††
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Y'know... a pod of whales, an oodle of cupcakes, a *blurgh* of photojournalism.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): You may have noticed.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Two points for effort, Captain Obvious!
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): If you think there's no such thing as a perfect seven-point turn, well... you really need to see me in action.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): *WARNING!* Giant spider alert! Sarah should proceed with caution!
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): I don't believe life has ever handed me lemons, but it's handed me innumerable spiders. Lemons would, in fact, be a nice change, and would require no sugar-coating (heheheh) to be a big step up.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Shhhhh...
...I'm supposed to be working.
Only, we had our fantasy draft last night and I got to keep the premier player in the whole of the NFL,† but ended up drafting a stoopid quarterback‡ and one player simply to have someone whose bye week is ten.§
Long night.
On the up-side, we've moved our league from CBS Sports to Yahoo, which doesn't just give us great savings,¶ it gives us the ability to use the Toyota Logo Enhancer.
The BOB# is now represented by a demon sheep.††
I'm so happy right now, I could just go back to werk.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Adrian Peterson, who I hope is man enough to carry my whole miserable team.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Kyle Orton. I know. But I thought I should have at least one Bronco and Knowshon Moreno was gone. Besides, my brother kept saying, "Kyle Orton, still on the board," in a very sarcastic tone. I had to shut him up. If the boy ever learns to play, I'm going to look like a flippin' genius.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Hakeem Nicks of the Giants. I don't know either.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): As CBS charged us $170 for the privelege of being able to set our roster set times, apparently.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Beasts of Burden - my fantasy moniker. It's always fun if your initials spell something and "BOB" lends itself well to trash-talking. I once was beating everybody in the league so soundly, I wrote a little Christmas song and having a one-syllable name facilitated that nicely. Also? This year we have a new guy named Robert who is playing under the team name "Lesser Bob." Ask me how much I love that.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): I usually use Donkey from Shrek, but a donkey wasn't one of my options. Toyota has an elephant but not a donkey. This could raise political eyebrows among the conspiracy theorists. Oh... and for the record? Toyota offers both a knitting needle in a ball of yarn and a sock as background, but neither one showed up behind the sheep.
Only, we had our fantasy draft last night and I got to keep the premier player in the whole of the NFL,† but ended up drafting a stoopid quarterback‡ and one player simply to have someone whose bye week is ten.§
Long night.
On the up-side, we've moved our league from CBS Sports to Yahoo, which doesn't just give us great savings,¶ it gives us the ability to use the Toyota Logo Enhancer.
The BOB# is now represented by a demon sheep.††
I'm so happy right now, I could just go back to werk.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Adrian Peterson, who I hope is man enough to carry my whole miserable team.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Kyle Orton. I know. But I thought I should have at least one Bronco and Knowshon Moreno was gone. Besides, my brother kept saying, "Kyle Orton, still on the board," in a very sarcastic tone. I had to shut him up. If the boy ever learns to play, I'm going to look like a flippin' genius.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Hakeem Nicks of the Giants. I don't know either.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): As CBS charged us $170 for the privelege of being able to set our roster set times, apparently.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Beasts of Burden - my fantasy moniker. It's always fun if your initials spell something and "BOB" lends itself well to trash-talking. I once was beating everybody in the league so soundly, I wrote a little Christmas song and having a one-syllable name facilitated that nicely. Also? This year we have a new guy named Robert who is playing under the team name "Lesser Bob." Ask me how much I love that.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): I usually use Donkey from Shrek, but a donkey wasn't one of my options. Toyota has an elephant but not a donkey. This could raise political eyebrows among the conspiracy theorists. Oh... and for the record? Toyota offers both a knitting needle in a ball of yarn and a sock as background, but neither one showed up behind the sheep.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Touchdown!
Let me first say that I do not work for CU.
I admit I consider CU my home team,† but have been largely unable to watch them for their vast suckitude, lo,‡ these many years.
I won't be buying season tickets.
Heck, I'd only go to a game if the tickets were free, someone drove me and I had nothing else to do that day.§
I have no desire, agenda, dog in the hunt, cash incentive, care in the world for *you* to buy CU football tickets
That said, this website/ad for CU season tickets is a variety pack of awesome.¶ I actually got a chill when Coach called me from the end zone. I will be forever grateful to Shanny for sending it my way.
I want to share with you.#
You're welcome.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): College football-wise. I'd go for my alma mater, but they don't really play college football so much as dabble and I *never* get to see them on national television.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): I suddenly realise I have no idea how to punctuate "lo."
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Like watch SEC football.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Yes, slightly cheesy, but I found it creative and found myself wondering why we don't have more ad campaigns in this vein.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Because you are the wind beneath my wings.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
The Corner of Lust 'n' Love†
Or the corner of Marin 'n' Quebec.
[SUMMARY: Potayto, Potahto.‡]
Kari was out walking her boy yesterday when she came upon this Greenwood Village street sign.§
And sent me the picture.
[SUMMARY: Kari is my new best friend.]
Guess what I want for my birthday?
It's a big YouTube day, isn't it?
*************
No. 3: The Spirit of Wood - Light Source & Philippe Paparella-Paris (Part 3 in the series)
Marin says: Grapefruit and cigarette smoke.
Right around the edges, a hint of something brown sugar sweet -- fig or currant, maybe. The grapefruit burns off quickly, leaving smoke and a hint of something brown sugar-sweet.
Another light, long-lasting scent. The final amber -- or maybe sandalwood -- throes stuck around until the next day's shower.
Six Scents says: "The inspiration for this fragrance comes from Cosmic Wonder Light Source's nature oriented fahion collection. Inspired by the designers memory of a scent experienced during a walk through a eucalyptus forest, a selection of fresh green top notes were combined with fig leaves and enlightened by green grass playing with fresh cut cypress. The idea was to create a rough and natural fragrance, using a lot of essential oils with a focus on the woody notes such as vetiver and himoki."¶ - Phillippe Paparella-Paris, Perfumer
Ingredients: Green Grass,# Fig Leaves,$ Cypress, Elemi, Coriander, Cedar wood, Vetiver, Himoki, White Amber$
Hans says: It's very earthy. It smells like something I smell a lot, like... trees. Pine trees. I'm getting a lot of wood. I feel like I'm eating wood right now, chewing on bark.††
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Thus:
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Quebec being well known as the City of Love.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): For those unfamiliar with Denverish suburbs, Greenwood Village is one of the best villages, and certainly has the best street signs.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Oh, yeah. Just like I said... grapefruit and cigarettes. *ahem*
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): The bitter end of green grass has a LOT in common with grapefruit. *ahem*
$FOOTNOTE (on the money!): Yes, I'm taking credit for fig leaves. If I don't want to wreck my midterm grade, I should probably fight for credit for "maybe sandalwood" as the closest I got to wood all day. heheheheheheh. Wood.
††FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): For all the Hansisms, Hans got the perfumer's vision much better than I did. In a snit of jealousy, I believe I will start calling him Cosmic Wonder Light Source.
[SUMMARY: Potayto, Potahto.‡]
Kari was out walking her boy yesterday when she came upon this Greenwood Village street sign.§
And sent me the picture.
[SUMMARY: Kari is my new best friend.]
Guess what I want for my birthday?
It's a big YouTube day, isn't it?
*************
No. 3: The Spirit of Wood - Light Source & Philippe Paparella-Paris (Part 3 in the series)
Marin says: Grapefruit and cigarette smoke.
Right around the edges, a hint of something brown sugar sweet -- fig or currant, maybe. The grapefruit burns off quickly, leaving smoke and a hint of something brown sugar-sweet.
Another light, long-lasting scent. The final amber -- or maybe sandalwood -- throes stuck around until the next day's shower.
Six Scents says: "The inspiration for this fragrance comes from Cosmic Wonder Light Source's nature oriented fahion collection. Inspired by the designers memory of a scent experienced during a walk through a eucalyptus forest, a selection of fresh green top notes were combined with fig leaves and enlightened by green grass playing with fresh cut cypress. The idea was to create a rough and natural fragrance, using a lot of essential oils with a focus on the woody notes such as vetiver and himoki."¶ - Phillippe Paparella-Paris, Perfumer
Ingredients: Green Grass,# Fig Leaves,$ Cypress, Elemi, Coriander, Cedar wood, Vetiver, Himoki, White Amber$
Hans says: It's very earthy. It smells like something I smell a lot, like... trees. Pine trees. I'm getting a lot of wood. I feel like I'm eating wood right now, chewing on bark.††
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Thus:
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Quebec being well known as the City of Love.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): For those unfamiliar with Denverish suburbs, Greenwood Village is one of the best villages, and certainly has the best street signs.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Oh, yeah. Just like I said... grapefruit and cigarettes. *ahem*
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): The bitter end of green grass has a LOT in common with grapefruit. *ahem*
$FOOTNOTE (on the money!): Yes, I'm taking credit for fig leaves. If I don't want to wreck my midterm grade, I should probably fight for credit for "maybe sandalwood" as the closest I got to wood all day. heheheheheheh. Wood.
††FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): For all the Hansisms, Hans got the perfumer's vision much better than I did. In a snit of jealousy, I believe I will start calling him Cosmic Wonder Light Source.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Horny†
When you‡ run across§ something this awesome first thing on Friday morning, you must say to yourself, "Self,% to hell with it, I'm posting a naked¶ little link," and share with those you love# so they, too, can revel in the wonders of the universe†† and the Internet that brings them to us.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Not unsafe for work -- I just make it sound that way because I am a blogtease.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): And by, "you," I mean, "I."
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Right there on Facebook, under Jax's smiling face.
%FOOTNOTE (percented): You always call yourself, "Self."
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Still not prurient.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): That would be you.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Translation: misery loves company.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Not unsafe for work -- I just make it sound that way because I am a blogtease.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): And by, "you," I mean, "I."
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Right there on Facebook, under Jax's smiling face.
%FOOTNOTE (percented): You always call yourself, "Self."
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Still not prurient.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): That would be you.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Translation: misery loves company.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Aftermath
So the presentation went well, thanks for asking.†
Sitting down and distilling my job‡ into an accessible,§ concise,¶ entertaining# three minutes was a marvelous exercise. I'd recommend it.
If you're unfocused, it can help weed out the chafe.††
If you're feeling small, it can highlight your talents your and many, many mad skillz.‡‡
If you're bored, it can give you something to do.§§
I bet you could do it for any project¶¶ or aspect of your life.##
This has been a public service blogpost. If this had been an actual blogpost, there would have been considerably more fibre, fragrance and dick jokes. We now return you to your regularly-scheduled blog, already in progress.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Some of you did. I'm not making this up.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): The portion of it this client uses, in any case.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): No big words, many analogies, Bob the Builder references...
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): You'd never guess it here, but I am a master of concision. My high school drama teacher told me so after I distilled "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" into four relatively brief sentences without missing a single important point.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Because I almost always think I'm funny.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Mix metaphors much?
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): Because mad skillz are what you guys are all about.
§§FOOTNOTE (waves of boredom crashing on the shores of mental ingenuity): This may replace the Tom Sawyer Funeral Game as my favourite waiting-at-the-DMV activity.
¶¶FOOTNOTE (bonk bonk): Baby Surprise Jacket, I'm looking at you.
##FOOTNOTE (pounding to the rhythm of the motivational speaker): ...in a VAN, down by the RIVER...
Sitting down and distilling my job‡ into an accessible,§ concise,¶ entertaining# three minutes was a marvelous exercise. I'd recommend it.
If you're unfocused, it can help weed out the chafe.††
If you're feeling small, it can highlight your talents your and many, many mad skillz.‡‡
If you're bored, it can give you something to do.§§
I bet you could do it for any project¶¶ or aspect of your life.##
This has been a public service blogpost. If this had been an actual blogpost, there would have been considerably more fibre, fragrance and dick jokes. We now return you to your regularly-scheduled blog, already in progress.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Some of you did. I'm not making this up.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): The portion of it this client uses, in any case.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): No big words, many analogies, Bob the Builder references...
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): You'd never guess it here, but I am a master of concision. My high school drama teacher told me so after I distilled "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" into four relatively brief sentences without missing a single important point.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Because I almost always think I'm funny.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Mix metaphors much?
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): Because mad skillz are what you guys are all about.
§§FOOTNOTE (waves of boredom crashing on the shores of mental ingenuity): This may replace the Tom Sawyer Funeral Game as my favourite waiting-at-the-DMV activity.
¶¶FOOTNOTE (bonk bonk): Baby Surprise Jacket, I'm looking at you.
##FOOTNOTE (pounding to the rhythm of the motivational speaker): ...in a VAN, down by the RIVER...
Friday, April 24, 2009
My Friends at Nintendo Save My Lips
In Nintendo's very successful campaign to be my new best friend, they have sent me another little present.
As always, I picked the box off the front porch and spent five minutes trying to remember who I know in North Hollywood that might be sending me a CD.
[SUMMARY: Proving that some people really never do learn.]
I got my happy, friendly letter from the Girls' Guide to Gaming:
And a very pink and girly Nintendo accessory† with lip gloss‡:
See? My friends at Nintendo don't just want to entertain me, they want me to be beautiful and moist of lip too.
[SUMMARY: Making gaming girly for nearly ten months.]
It's a philosophy I can get behind.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): It's a keychain that holds four game cartridges for maximum Nintendo portability.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): And a heart! Girly!
As always, I picked the box off the front porch and spent five minutes trying to remember who I know in North Hollywood that might be sending me a CD.
[SUMMARY: Proving that some people really never do learn.]
I got my happy, friendly letter from the Girls' Guide to Gaming:
And a very pink and girly Nintendo accessory† with lip gloss‡:
See? My friends at Nintendo don't just want to entertain me, they want me to be beautiful and moist of lip too.
[SUMMARY: Making gaming girly for nearly ten months.]
It's a philosophy I can get behind.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): It's a keychain that holds four game cartridges for maximum Nintendo portability.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): And a heart! Girly!
Monday, April 20, 2009
Is "Old News" Oxymoronic?
And who are you calling a moron?†
Ah, it's a good thing I'm here to laugh at myself. I mean, I know all y'all are laughing at me, but I'm laughing because I think I'm funny.
[SUMMARY: I take what I can get.]
In last weeked's Travels with Shanny, we witnessed this gem:
"Do you suppose if Jesus came back now, he'd say, 'When *I* was crucified, we didn't have any wheels on our crosses. Oh, no, we had to drag our crosses through the alleys of Jerusalem with no help at all! Uphill both ways! And my father went *right by me* on his way to work!'"‡
Then we took a seat to watch the weirdos and tourists§ drift by and I saw this sign:
In all my years wandering up and down the 16th Street Mall, I never noticed this sign. I told Shanny so.
"Hey," he said, "Do you think they'd arrest the guy with the wheeled cross?"
[SUMMARY: Shanny's going to hell. I'm gong to hell.¶ The arresting officer would most certainly be going to hell.]
Sometimes you just couldn't make up anything funnier than what's floating around out there not trying to be funny.
*************
Black Violet - Tom Ford Private Blend
Marin says: Lime... or bergamot, maybe,# with something else fruity -- I'm going with apricot, since it's one of my favourite notes and is just a little drier than peach, for these purpoes. My wrists feel warm -- not in a burning, allergic way, but in an electric blanket, comforting way.
We know the citrus isn't going to last long, since that's citrus's lot in life. That scent boosting it up, pushing it over the edge... vanilla? Amber? Warm and sweet, but a little dusty and not sugary. It has a moment of flirting with bay rum.
And there goes the citrus.
Now I smell like a Barbie doll fresh from her package, the scent I generally get when there are violets in the offing.†† That's quickly overcome by a blond wood. Not sweet, not balsamic, but definitely woody.
And... scene!
In the time it took you to read this, the scent went almost completely away. My wrists still feel warm, but it's very difficult to find the slightest trace of a scent left.‡‡ It's a shame -- I really liked the scent, very well balanced, intriguing, with some of my favourite inoffensive notes§§ well represented.
Tom Ford says: Crisp Citrus$ surrounds a modern pulpy Fruit Accord,$ fused with Black Violets.$ Woody$ accents fold into Oakmoss adding the universally comforting sensation of warmth.$
Hans says: it smells like an Abercrombie & Fitch cologne someone got me in high school.¶¶
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): I should know better than to ask that.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Wow. That's so deep you could do a doctoral thesis on it.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Po-tay-to, po-tah-to.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Probably a good thing. I'm not sure I want to go through an afterlife without Shanny. Hey, if you make saint, do you get to appoint a cabinet?
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): I only throw bergamot in because half the time when I think I smell lime, the perfumer tells me it's actually bergamot.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Epiphany: it's interesting how many perfume notes take me back to some childhood toy: Barbie, Play-doh, Silly Putty...
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): If I put the tip of my nose right at the bottom of my hand with my nose-holes perpendicular to my wrist, nothing. If I lay my nose-holes right on my wrist, I get a surprisingly full snork of violets and wood.
§§FOOTNOTE (twisted sense of smell): 'Cause we all know how I feel about honey.
¶¶FOOTNOTE (A&F models, staring off-camera to the sea): He didn't say whether that was bad or good, but he did allow as how he had ended up with maybe five bottles of cologne through his lifetime, but had probably worn cologne twice.
$FOOTNOTE (on the money!): I'm claiming apricot as "modern pulpy Fruit Accord" and I'm mildly freaked out that the warm thing may be a feature of the blend rather than just my own reaction. Those KY his 'n' hers commercials keep going through my head. Also? Some day I'm going to get a bead on what oakmoss smells like...
Ah, it's a good thing I'm here to laugh at myself. I mean, I know all y'all are laughing at me, but I'm laughing because I think I'm funny.
[SUMMARY: I take what I can get.]
In last weeked's Travels with Shanny, we witnessed this gem:
"Do you suppose if Jesus came back now, he'd say, 'When *I* was crucified, we didn't have any wheels on our crosses. Oh, no, we had to drag our crosses through the alleys of Jerusalem with no help at all! Uphill both ways! And my father went *right by me* on his way to work!'"‡
Then we took a seat to watch the weirdos and tourists§ drift by and I saw this sign:
In all my years wandering up and down the 16th Street Mall, I never noticed this sign. I told Shanny so.
"Hey," he said, "Do you think they'd arrest the guy with the wheeled cross?"
[SUMMARY: Shanny's going to hell. I'm gong to hell.¶ The arresting officer would most certainly be going to hell.]
Sometimes you just couldn't make up anything funnier than what's floating around out there not trying to be funny.
*************
Black Violet - Tom Ford Private Blend
Marin says: Lime... or bergamot, maybe,# with something else fruity -- I'm going with apricot, since it's one of my favourite notes and is just a little drier than peach, for these purpoes. My wrists feel warm -- not in a burning, allergic way, but in an electric blanket, comforting way.
We know the citrus isn't going to last long, since that's citrus's lot in life. That scent boosting it up, pushing it over the edge... vanilla? Amber? Warm and sweet, but a little dusty and not sugary. It has a moment of flirting with bay rum.
And there goes the citrus.
Now I smell like a Barbie doll fresh from her package, the scent I generally get when there are violets in the offing.†† That's quickly overcome by a blond wood. Not sweet, not balsamic, but definitely woody.
And... scene!
In the time it took you to read this, the scent went almost completely away. My wrists still feel warm, but it's very difficult to find the slightest trace of a scent left.‡‡ It's a shame -- I really liked the scent, very well balanced, intriguing, with some of my favourite inoffensive notes§§ well represented.
Tom Ford says: Crisp Citrus$ surrounds a modern pulpy Fruit Accord,$ fused with Black Violets.$ Woody$ accents fold into Oakmoss adding the universally comforting sensation of warmth.$
Hans says: it smells like an Abercrombie & Fitch cologne someone got me in high school.¶¶
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): I should know better than to ask that.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Wow. That's so deep you could do a doctoral thesis on it.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Po-tay-to, po-tah-to.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Probably a good thing. I'm not sure I want to go through an afterlife without Shanny. Hey, if you make saint, do you get to appoint a cabinet?
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): I only throw bergamot in because half the time when I think I smell lime, the perfumer tells me it's actually bergamot.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Epiphany: it's interesting how many perfume notes take me back to some childhood toy: Barbie, Play-doh, Silly Putty...
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): If I put the tip of my nose right at the bottom of my hand with my nose-holes perpendicular to my wrist, nothing. If I lay my nose-holes right on my wrist, I get a surprisingly full snork of violets and wood.
§§FOOTNOTE (twisted sense of smell): 'Cause we all know how I feel about honey.
¶¶FOOTNOTE (A&F models, staring off-camera to the sea): He didn't say whether that was bad or good, but he did allow as how he had ended up with maybe five bottles of cologne through his lifetime, but had probably worn cologne twice.
$FOOTNOTE (on the money!): I'm claiming apricot as "modern pulpy Fruit Accord" and I'm mildly freaked out that the warm thing may be a feature of the blend rather than just my own reaction. Those KY his 'n' hers commercials keep going through my head. Also? Some day I'm going to get a bead on what oakmoss smells like...
Friday, April 17, 2009
Sometime You Lick the Pig, Sometimes the Pig Licks You
TTHFCIF
I think this is a really good way to start a Friday.
I think this is a really good way to start a Friday.
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