Sunday, February 6, 2011

I Have a Story for That

My friend Laura said that was my signature phrase.

But I do.

For 20 years, I have made Chex Mix with M&Ms for the Super Bowl.§ Oh, sure, sometimes I bring something in addition, but always Chex Mix with M&Ms.

Two years ago, we were standing around in Matt's kitchen, reminiscing. Matt brought up that it was our 20th year of Elk Bowl mayhem and we had missed an opportunity to ramp up the festivities for the 20th.

Justice, who is becoming more of an accountant every day, through a series of hand gestures and convoluted explanations, illustrated how the next year would actually be the 20th.

And there was much rejoicing.

Meanwhile, back in my brain...#

Those personalised M&Ms had just come out and I'd been dying to make my own M&Ms. It seemed a match made in silly traditions heaven.

So in January 2010, I ordered the M&Ms with the picture of the elk, the "Elk Bowl XX," "Elks 20 years" and "Elks BBB."††

Five pounds of personalized M&Ms costs about $170.

Just for the record.

So this year, the Supreme Elk sent out an email about the 20th and did we want t-shirts? and let's design some t-shirts and such.‡‡

Justice, frickin' accountant, wrote back to say, "Uh, can you not count? This is the 21st. You missed the 20th."§§

Through a series of emails and convoluted explanations, he illustrated how the previous year had been the 20th.

We'll deal with Justice at the party today.¶¶ Meanwhile, we're saying fuck it## - we don't remember half of them anyway,††† so who cares if it's 20 or 21?

Happy Super Bowl, everybody.

FOOTNOTE (crossed): Along with, "I could make that," and "I have this CD."

FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Have a story, that is.

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): For the love of all that is holy, please sprinkle a whole flock of trademark and copyright and registered trademark stuff on that. There's enough proprietary material in there to keep a flotilla of lawyers happy for years.

FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): This is not a compliment.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Where it's dark and quiet. You should consider vacationing in there.

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Beer Babes Brotherhood

‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): "Such" mostly revolving around "t-shirts."

§§FOOTNOTE (rage... swirling...): Must... control... fist of death...

¶¶FOOTNOTE (quack quack): I'm guessing it'll involve Duck Tape and nudity. His, not ours.

##FOOTNOTE (pound the Justice!): Mostly, we're saying, "Fuck him."

†††FOOTNOTE (I can see your house from here): Turns out that's the theme of the t-shirt we eventually agreed upon.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

The flotilla will need a receipt for those M & Ms.