Wednesday, December 3, 2008

The Nose Doesn't Know No More

I have blown my nose so hard and so long I've actually drawn blood. I have a most attractive patch of red scaly blech fanning out from my nose holes. And I suddenly remembered from last year that lotion-coated kleenex hurts like hell once you've started to chafe.§

[SUMMARY: I am old and will be talking about my rheumatiz soon.]

And you really want to ask me what is even better than going on a blind date with both the guy AND your% respective parents.

[SUMMARY: So it's a good day.]

If you get a half-hour or so, you should read this article about an exceptional con artist. I love it when truth is stranger than fiction.

[SUMMARY: A link is worth a thousand paintings, ergo, one million words.]

Even better when it's stranger than me.


Vetiver Ambrato# - Bois 1920

Marin says: It sparkles like quartz dust unsettled near a sloppy spring meadow to start, but quickly mellows into a precisely, perfectly, gorgeously balanced earthy-woody-rich-sweet velvet. Like a Monet from a distance, it's impossible to see the brush strokes for the beauty of the whole piece.††

I don't think I've ever smelled anything this smooth and round.

Luckyscent says: Elegantly and profoundly seductive, Vetiver Ambrato is a decidedly masculine^ fragrance that embodies all the power and mystery of modern man.^ The fragrant architecture of this fragrance builds with a debut featuring sparkling tonic notes, ramping up to a warm and spicy middle note and crowning the creation with a virile,^ provocative top note that surprises again and again. Rich, ceremonial amber and the green woodiness and earthy nature of vetiver make for a scent with rounded corners rather than sharp and make Vetiver Ambrato a first-class, unique addition to any amber lover’s collection. NOTES: vetiver, amber

Hans says: Cinnamony, like a spice note. Well,maybe not cinnamon. Apple cider. No, it doesn't smell like apple cider at all. Oh, this isn't going well.

FOOTNOTE (crossed): Did your head just explode? OH! That's what she said!

FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): And by "you've," I mean "I've."

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): The lesson to be learned here, boys and girls, is to START with the lotion kleenex. And don't use paper towels to blow your nose, no matter how convenient they may be. That was bonus advice.

%FOOTNOTE (percented): Again, I'm talking about me.

FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Who all went to high school together, if that helps connect your dots any.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): The very last thing I smelled.

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Awwwww... look who got her poetic license and is taking the verbiage for a spin.

^FOOTNOTE (careted): Let's start with the fact that the idea of masculine and feminine smells is generally stupid, then we can segueway gracefully into the notion that this is not at all one of those fragrances that might *conceivably* fall in the boy camp. In fact, I'd dare say it might be a little on the warm and sweet side for a guy who isn't comfortable enough in his masculinity to, say, wear a pink shirt with aplomb.

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