Thursday, May 7, 2009

Some Cinderella

So you know how knitting is: you have a dozen things going on, you finish an object, you share with your friends, but there's so much going on beneath the surface.

I've knit a few BSJs§ since the last time we visited the knitting, and a fish and a bomb,# but I've been diligently working on my six-at-once socks too. You just haven't seen them.††

[SUMMARY: In which I ask you to take a leap of faith.‡‡]

The herringbone pattern, which takes much more yarn than the lace patterns, is nearly done.§§ I am, in fact, a half-inch into the ribbing. And I'm was really proud of myself because I could kind of tell it wasn't quite as stretchy, so I incorporated some truly elegant calf-shaping.¶¶

Last night, I tried all the socks on.##

The herringbones are almost too narrow for my duck feet and totally too narrow to get around my heel.

SO... it seems like a good time for a contest of some sort.

[SUMMARY: In which I dangle bait.]

The sticky part is 13" around††† and I truly believe that with a little Crisco and a pair of pliers, I could get the socks over my heel.% It's *that* close to working. The socks are knit to a women's 8 1/2 size and would work for a slighly larger or quite a bit smaller length.

If you truly believe this would work for you, write a lovely sock haiku, put it in the comments ON THIS POST‡‡‡ and I will pick a random winner from the entrants on, say, Monday morning.

Let's say you have until 8:00 ay-em§§§ on Monday to get a haiku in.

[SUMMARY: In which I explain how your leap of faith could be clothed in very cute socks.¶¶¶]

Pass it on -- there's nothing I like better than a lovely sock haiku.###

FOOTNOTE (crossed): Maybe I'm projecting.

FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): My sophomore year in college, there a flurry of construction on the south end of Taylor Hall. Bulldozers, big flatbed trucks, smallish cranes and a pile of metal. After a couple of days, they left. And we waited to see what the pile of metal was going to be when it was finished. Turns out it was finished. It was a sculpture called Key Shift, about which the artist said (paraphrasing), "It gives the impression of a lot going on just beneath the surface." To which I replied, "Because there's nothing going on up here." Now every time I talk about stuff going on beneath the surface, I think of that. You're welcome.

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): I have the pictures to prove it.

FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Of course.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): We'll talk about that later, when the bomb is famous.

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Probably because most WIP pictures are not so interesting.

‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): I'm a saint-in-training. You can trust me.

§§FOOTNOTE (short on time, no cute names for the footnote symbols today): I mention the extra yarn requirements because it explains why they are going to be finished before their fellow socks. This is part of the vast educational bounty that is circus knitting.

¶¶FOOTNOTE (parapara): To fit my elegant calves.

##FOOTNOTE (poundpound): Because it's been cold enough for footy pajamas until just the last couple of days and 1) it is well nigh impossible to try on socks over pajama feet, and 2) you have to get practically naked to free your feet to eliminate that issue. Nothing wrong with naked, it's just inconvenient to go from footy pajama to footloose in any graceful and timely manner.

†††FOOTNOTE (triplecross): Not *that* kind of sticky, you perverts. Around the ankle AND the heel where socks get stuck if they're going to stick.

%FOOTNOTE (percented): I want it on the record that I do not have fat ankles or cankle, but I think my roundheeled ways may be manifesting themselves in my sock fittings.

‡‡‡FOOTNOTE (triplewhateverthehellthosethingsare): Sorry to yell. Just making a point.

§§§FOOTNOTE (swerveswerveswerve): Mountain Daylight Time.

¶¶¶FOOTNOTE (three paragraphs): Like loaves and fishes, my friends.

###FOOTNOTE (three numbers): That's not entirely true, but to list the things I like better than a lovely sock haiku would ruin the moment.

EDITED: Because I wonked the footnotes the first time around. Like the footnotes aren't confusing enough. But now they should make sense -- or as much sense as they ever do.

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