My Nintendo intentions are ever inventing.†
I'm sure the general public‡ was at least as shocked as I was when the nice people at Girlfriends Guide to Gaming picked me as influential and asked me to provide the body count for a Nintendo DS Lite party a couple of months back.
I only wish I could structure this blogpost so y'all could be as surprised as I was Monday night.
Here's the story%:
I try to remember to open my front door every couple of days§ to check for pizza coupons and UPS deliveries.¶
Monday, in a fit of adult responsibility, I did just that, expecting nothing.
There it was: a square, white box, six inches to a side, two inches deep.@
It was addressed to me, but I couldn't figure out what it could possibly be. Usually when I get a package, I'm well aware of it. Most of the time, I paid somebody to bring me the package. So I quickly ticked back through my mind to try to determine what it might be.#
Hmmmmm... perfume samples come in bubble mailers.††
Yarn comes in the postbox.‡‡
[SUMMARY: My knowledge of the mailing habits of the smelly and fuzzy is enviable.]
I finally opened the box.§§
As a side note, the cat was very into the box. I'd begun to think he'd found my credit card and ordered exotic tuna from distant lands, as difficult as it was getting him out of the way long enough to rip the tape off.
[SUMMARY: Cats know better than to *think* about what's in the box.]
And it was not tuna. It was this¶¶:
The letter, from my friends at Nintendo,## tells me all about the sleuthing I could be doing†††:
So I haven't been knitting a lot these past few nights.
[SUMMARY: See: long attention span, not easily distracted.]
If anybody knows how to get past the bird safe, could you let me know?‡‡‡
Les Bijoux - Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab (Ars Amatoria, oil)
Marin says: It smells like roses and crisp fall apples to me... and something really synthetic. After that first blast, the roses and the synthetic syrup calmed down and it all melded into a very nice apple -- like real apples, not like Jolly Rancher neon green apples.
I loved the apple phase -- for a bit, it was like a memory of going to Wisconsin in the fall with my mom and stopping at the indoor farmer's market for cheese curds and the crispest, winiest apples^ that only autumn can give.
It faded back to a powdery rose, with the powder inexorably overtaking.
BPAL says: Skin musk and honey, blood-red rose,$ orange blossom, white peach, red apple,$ frankincense and myrrh
Hans says: Rose and porta-potty.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Yeah, I'm not sure it means much, but it trips on the tongue. I'm all for a little tongue-tripping when you can get it. Heheheheh. Twelve.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): And by "general public," I mean, "you."
%FOOTNOTE (percented): And the back-story. And a little side story. Probably a tangent. And a dick joke. Maybe even a perfume review.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Because, like the postbox, it is not on my regular route and requires a special trip.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): I love my UPS guy. I've loved ALL my UPS guys. When they say, "What can Brown do for you?" I start making a list.
@FOOTNOTE (atted): I'm giggling like Beavis, I'm so twelve right now.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Because you know I have this habit of playing detective with the mail and the caller ID rather than just opening the damned thing and getting a ready answer.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): And little drawstring organza bags. I brought the Tallest, Hairiest Nephew some bottle caps for his bottle cap collection in a nice little drawstring organza bag and my smart ass of a sister-in-law said, "Wherever did you get a bag like that?"
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): It's starting to sound like an episode of CSI.
§§FOOTNOTE (streamers!): Does anybody else feel like there should be confetti and party horns?
¶¶FOOTNOTE (two magnifying glasses -- I only got one, but, really... how many magnifying glasses does one Nintendo geek need?): *magnifying glass included
##FOOTNOTE (two pints are two pounds the world around): They are too. Says so right in the letter. Nintendo is my new best friend!
†††FOOTNOTE (my crosscrosscross to bear): And they didn't even know about all the sleuthing I did just because a box showed up on my porch!
‡‡‡FOOTNOTE (tracks of my brain): Seriously, I'm starting to think the game is stuck.
^FOOTNOTE (careted): Public Service Announcement: It's that time of year again. If you can get your hands on Honeycrisp apples, just DO IT. Best... so crisp... sweet, tart... *drool* If you're in Denver-ish, King Soopers carries organic, Colorado-grown Honeycrisp apples.
Why are you still sitting here?
$FOOTNOTE (on the money): Ha! Got one!