Saturday, July 14, 2007

Why We Don't Mention the Stash in the Will

My mother began what became a rather impressive array of cookie cutters when I was very young.

When I was about seven, I (in all seriousness) asked her, "Mom, when you die can I have your cookie cutter collection?"

Years later, when my parents devised/revised their wills, Mom confided that she had specifically asked the attorney to include the special bequest of cookie cutters to beloved daughter. The attorney advised against it, as it would then be valuated separately from the personal effects of the state, probably as some sort of valuable item, which could red flag the IRS that this was a priceless heirloom and that monolith would be inclined to tax it accordingly.

Therein lies the lesson: don't mention your stash specifically in your will, lest the recipients be punished for it.

Even if your stash is where all your money went.

FOOTNOTE (crossed): Who am I kidding? The thing is mammoth, monster, overwhelming. I'm guessing there are three hundred cookie cutters. You need a cookie cutter of a cactus? Got it. A flamingo? Got it. Clubs, diamonds, hearts and spades? Check. Musical note? Sailboat? Billy goat? A letter you wrote? Yes, yes, yes and yes.

FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Because who goes out of their way to mention a plain, ol' gathering of cookie cutters. Must be SPECTACULAR collector's items. You know, solid gold or Cro-Magnon or some shit. Which makes me wonder how much one could get on eBay for a collection of every G-rated cookie cutter known to mankind. Not that I would, mind you. I *like* having all the cookie cutters.

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