Monday, February 25, 2008

Happy Thoughts

I believe in being my own yin and yang. Therefore, to counteract Friday's act of maudlin, I will share some happy with you. And some funny.

[SUMMARY: Please don't tell me I overestimated the funny of a free-standing night depository. Leave me to my illusions.]

I went with my friend Mick, his wife Natalie and three of their four children to the Colorado Garden & Home Show Saturday.

Now, I've been to the Garden & Home Show many times, mostly before I owned a house. Generally, I get all excited about exotic home theatre systems, decorative paint finishes and patio furniture and I mentally spend seventy or eighty grand.

[SUMMARY: Powerball wishes and Publisher's Clearinghouse dreams.]

This time, I actually had something I wanted to look at: tankless hot water heaters. There was no Rinnai dealer at the show at all. Can you believe it? OK, maybe you can, but I'm here to tell you everybody else was shocked.

So I drooled on the Kaleidescape system§ and longed for my very own speaker rocks and outdoor beer tap.

Speaker Rock

Outdoor kitchen, beer tap portion

I think if I can get my neighbours to sell me their deck, I might even have room for some of the objects of my consumer lust.

[SUMMARY: Dream on, white girl.]

There were many, many expensive playgrounds to be explored and Ellie, Neil and Nick# hit them all.

[SUMMARY: Laughing children always a good antidote to the blues.]

Art also helps.

I don't know why this stuff is cool, but it is.

Camels and bones, dude... camels and bones.

And possibly my favourite thing in Denver, the Big Blue Bear.%

I really wanted to buy a Little Big Blue Bear, but I couldn't find the gift shop.

Wanna know someting funny?††

I saw a tag in a display case that said the Little Big Blue Bears could be purchased in the gift shop or online, so I just Googled "Big Blue Bear" to find out where online and -- while I never found a place to buy a Little Big Blue Bear of my own -- I did find numerous blogs citing the bear as "menacing" or "mauling." Also, "controversial."

Is there anything less scary and mauly than that Big Blue Bear? And a Big Blue Bear without Big Blue Balls is hardly controversial.

[SUMMARY: Art is in the eye of the beholder, and some beholders are idiots.]

So we headed out for lunch, and what fresh joy is this?

Why, it's a Big Blue Crane!

We sat right under the Hard Rock sign during lunch.

I know, I know, but just because it's a cheesy theme restaurant of questionable quality doesn't mean it's all bad.

It *is* all loud, with every sentence uttered answered by, "What?"

I heard a couple of songs I really liked by what appeared to be new-ish artists.‡‡ They sounded very much like 80s stuff, one being like 80s pop metal and the other like Siouxsie and the Banshees, and if they want to bring that part of the 80s back, I'm all for it.§§

[SUMMARY: Old people nostalgia hour...]

I think this is funny.

They¶¶ demolished a building, leaving nothing standing but a couple of stanchions and this:

Why would you## demolish a building, leaving nothing but the night depository standing? How many people do you suppose left their money in the night depository before they put a sign on it? Do you think this discriminates against the functionally illiterate, who may yet be putting their paychecks in the night depository? Discuss.

Other funnies?

Because I'm twelve:

And because the idea of a Poking Wall is brilliant:†††

[SUMMARY: Well... laugh.]

See? Not all doom and gloom. If I can remember what I want to say, I'm gonna get all philosophical tomorrow.

Tune in.

FOOTNOTE (crossed): The ones that can walk and talk.

FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): And by, "everyone else," I mean, "Mick, Dad and Brother."

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): A hard drive that holds music and videos and runs them through your TiVi and massive surround sound system for only (starting at) $17,000. I keep telling myself that within five years, they'll be selling them for $300 at Wal-Mart.

FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Nothing racial about this... just singing that song to myself every time I get too woozy about high-end outdoor living products.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): I'd show you a picture of Nick having fun, but Nick only had fun right in front of the bright overhead lights.

%FOOTNOTE (percented): Actual title: "I See What You Mean."

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Not funny "ha ha," but funny peculiar.

‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): i.e. -- not the classic rock artists they played the rest of the time.

§§FOOTNOTE (you spin me right round, baby, right round, like a record...): Brother is waiting for New Romantic to come back around. Just in case you were wondering.

¶¶FOOTNOTE (staunch stanchions): From the Denver Department of Them.

##FOOTNOTE (pounded like sand): And by, "you," I mean, "the Denver Department of Them."

†††FOOTNOTE (crosscrosscross): This is the only picture I got of Nick.

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