So I have this sty in my right eye.
It's not big and gross.‡ Nobody else can see it. Mostly I can feel it and my eye is gummed up every morning.
[SUMMARY: I am NOT gross.]
But I went to look up sties on WebMD or MediWeb.§ Among the causes? Stress¶ and improper eyelid hygiene.#
Let me repeat: IMPROPER EYELID HYGIENE.
Am I the only person in the world who's never thought about *proper* eyelid hygiene? I thought those things pretty much took care of themselves.†† I mean... don't rub day-old meat in your eye, sure, but... PROPER eyelid hygiene?‡‡
[SUMMARY: There are more things in heaven and earth...§§]
Like I don't have enough to worry about.
And me with new hobbies to nurture along, not to mention the old hobbies to maintain and grow.
Later today: Sex and Scent from Bonk and Kim.¶¶
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): I can't take credit for that line. When I was ten, Dad had a sty and Mom, being a nurse, was interested in it to a frightening degree. During her nightly examination, he said, "How romantic, sitting here with you, looking at the scars in the sty." I thought it was the cleverest thing I'd ever heard. It still ranks up there.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): I feel it's very important you all know I'm not all diseased and red and bumpy and oozing. It's a dainty sty, befitting my dainty self.
I can hear you laughing.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): As you do.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): I actually went in assuming stress would be a possible cause, since my head's been a hair below "explode" (heheheheh) for two weeks. Mostly I was seeking vindication.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): This is a term that is nearly impossible for me to say. I can't get out of an "improper eyegiene" rut.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): You know... like cats.
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): For the curious, the online medical experts suggest you put a warm compress on your eyes every day for fifteen minutes. Not to get rid of a sty, mind you (though that's one of the things you can do for a sty), but in the name of Proper Eyelid Hygiene.
§§FOOTNOTE (the mind spins!): More Shakespeare! We are a literary marvel here at the Rickety Blog!
¶¶FOOTNOTE (Bonk Bonk): Srsly.