Let's Talk About the Weather

This was yesterday:




As part of the ongoing cycle of extreme weather, we had hail.

And torrents.

And urban flooding.†

Hail isn't kind to plants. The basil gets muddy and trampled...




And the cucumbers get shredded and even impaled on their own stakes.‡




And yet, The Little Tomato That Could powers on.




Now, I'm very proud of my little tomato. Watching it is not unlike watching Tallest, Hairiest Nephew when he was just discovering vision and movement; I could sit with him for hours watching him watch everything.§ Now I watch The Little Tomato That Could intensely, aware of every little hair and every hint of a new leaf, every colour change and every growth spurt.

But I also saw Attack of the Killer Tomatoes and I'm wondering at man's folly¶ in creating a tomato strong enough to blithely withstand a hailstorm.#

[SUMMARY: Plants are almost as scary as robots if you do it right.]

Today, the tell-tale darkness blotted the sun and I ran out to put one of the deck umbrellas over the tender plants†† to save them from possible impending hail.

For those of you unfamiliar with Denver's weather plane,% there is a large-scale weather rotation called the Denver Cyclone that occurs when winds coming off the Palmer Divide meet the currents of the Platte River Basin. When heat and moisture are high enough, rotational thunderstorms that can lead to hail and funnel clouds are the result.

This is a rotational thundercloud that‡‡ became a high funnel cloud just down the road.§§

ETA: It's more fun if you wait 'til the buffering finishes, then fast-forward it. Nobody really needs to watch a full minute of slow boil.




Always an education here at the Rickety Blog.

Kids: don't try this at home. This was the work of a certified lunatic and should not be attempted by the levelheaded.

Back to you in the studio, Jim.


†FOOTNOTE (crossed): A catch-phrase almost as popular as "Doppler Radar" on today's weathercast.

‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Not a stupid sparkly one among them.

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Well, and play with him as one plays with a cat. Altruism only goes so far before one needs to entertain oneself.

¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): By which I mean "my folly."

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): I would like to point out that this is a wholly organic tomato, grown by wholly organic means in organic soil and organic compost, fed organic tomato food... I learned *something* from the movie. Also? I worry that The Little Tomato will rebel in its teen years and eat nothing but McDonald's and petrochemicals because I was so strict with it in its youth.

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Using a remarkable system of deck rails and bungee cords. Bungee cords are the new duct tape.

%FOOTNOTE (percented): Let me be your weatherdork, baby.

‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): I believe.

§§FOOTNOTE (twister!): They had to evacuate Coors Field (three miles from my house) during a baseball game. In my fantasies, the funnel cloud that precipitated that is the one I recorded.