Thursday, June 4, 2009

Speaking of...

...knowing way more about Marin than you need to know.

I was bragging on Facebook Tuesday about how I remembered my purse that day. This stemmed from the fact that I left my purse at home on Monday and had to go home and get it before I could drive back in the opposite direction for dinner with Dad.

This is not as rare an occurrence as I'd like. I'm a creature of habit. If the purse isn't in the car,§ there's a good chance I won't notice it's not with me until I get where I'm going and I have no money, no credit, no gum and no way to call anybody and bemoan the fact.

[SUMMARY: I am that dork.]

Nathan, my new best friend, expressed a curiosity about said purse. Bless the boy, he didn't ask, "How could you possibly leave your purse at home, you scary-dumb bunny?"

To be exact, he said, "I'm suddenly curious as to the exact purse that a Marin in the wild would carry . . . *shhhh, you'll startle it and it will spill its coffee*"

[SUMMARY: Nathan is *funny.*]

I promised Nathan I would post pictures of my purse.

In the wild#:

Artsy, moody, depth of field -- and red stitching!

The classic frame.††

Inside, my skull wallet with the brown satin skull lining.‡‡

And the standard assortment of receipts,§§ discount card for The Recycled Lamb, gum, DumDums from the bank,¶¶ loose change, Fox News and Cheyenne Frontier Days lapel pins,## lotion samples and cell phone.

The small front pocket is reserved for perfume samples, mints from Randolph's and buttons.†††

[SUMMARY: This is where the magic happens.]

I do have other purses. Several. Many.‡‡‡ But this is the one I carry most and this is the one I left behind, which prompted the Facebook note which prompted the curiosity which prompted the promise which prompted the pictures which prompted the blogpost which prompted this children's song of an explanation.

[SUMMARY: The whole last paragraph was a summary.]

Tomorrow: my keys.§§§

FOOTNOTE (crossed): I was speaking of that, in any case.

FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): As Jeffe said, astutely, "Baby steps."

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): I can't tell if an attached garage is the best thing that ever happened to me or the worst thing that ever happened to my brain.

FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): It's not just because of the Rose Chypre, either. No, it's the Amber Fetiche and the Samurai and the Sweet Smoke and all the other pretty things.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): The purse, not the Marin.

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Fashion-wise. I was talking about the purse, rather than the foliage frame around it.

‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): Which is becoming battered and loose so all the cards slide out of it when I turn it upside down. Sadly, I may have to look for another wallet soon.

§§FOOTNOTE (like a Dyson vacuum): I actually removed all the receipts. They were messy and I wanted to dress the shot properly.

¶¶FOOTNOTE (talking heads): Which I always pick up two at a time with the idea that someday I'll be somewhere with my nephews and will magically produce candy from my purse and be the BEST AUNT EVER.

##FOOTNOTE (Brit Hume, pounding in your ears): From Shanny. Because Shanny cares.

†††FOOTNOTE (bobbins): Why? Where do you keep your buttons?

‡‡‡FOOTNOTE (fine stitching): Funny because up until 2002, I didn't carry a purse. I just shoved stuff in my pockets. I blame the rainbow of purses in my closet on eBeth.

§§§FOOTNOTE (things are taking a turn): If you think I'm joking, you haven't been paying attention.

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