Wednesday, June 10, 2009

There Is an Elephant in the Way

It's the moment you've been waiting for, the storm of the century, ladies and gentlemen, it's time to Lick the Pig!

Bet you never thought the day would come.

[SUMMARY: Long time no lick.]


We had a fire drill yesterday.

We filed in a calm and orderly manner down the stairs, then congregated in the parking lot kitty-corner from the office.§ Hans and I are fire buddies, so we checked to be sure we were OK. The fire wardens for each floor wore their red Fire Warden hats and checked us in on their fire warden clipboards. Then they let us back in the building.


I've been four and I've been twelve...

[SUMMARY: I'm ten.]


Speaking of school daze, Brother sent me these:

Consensus is that the elephant is the funniest one.

While Brother thought the lack of humour on the part of the grading parties was noteworthy, I think "Very funny, Peter," made me laugh almost as hard as the funny Peter made to get that accolade.

[SUMMARY: Humour is subjective.]


This morning, I got a parking space on the only street in downtown Denver with no meters and no time limits.#

I have a feeling I spent all my kharmic green stamps for the next three years to get that spot.

[SUMMARY: Kharma is subjective.]


Did I mention I got Bronco season tickets over the weekend? Second-hardest-to-obtain season tix in the NFL?††

[SUMMARY: I may be in kharmic debt after that.]


I took brother to see Leonard Cohen at Red Rocks last week.‡‡ If you get the chance, ya gotta see him. First, he has some of the best musicians I've ever seen/heard backing him up. Then, not only did he play for three-and-a-half hours, he skipped off the stage every time he left.

Skipped. A 74-year-old man.

And he's funny.

Great Leonard Cohen paraphrase:

"It’s been 14 or 15 years since I walked this stage. I was about 60 then, full of a young man’s dreams. I’ve taken a lot of Prozac since then. And Paxil, Wellbutrin,§§ Ritalin, Focalin… but I never took any of the little blue pills.

You see, I was deep in religious study at the time.

I didn’t know Prozac suppresses the libido.

I thought I had transcended desire."

[SUMMARY: Leonard Cohen would definitely understand Kharmic Green Stamps.]


The tiny little Tomato Plant that Could gets stronger all the time.

Every day when I leave for work, I have separation anxiety because¶¶ I'm afraid a tornado will go through the alley or we'll have [more] hail and I'll come home to find it washed away.

[SUMMARY: Parenthood has its stresses.]


Speaking of plants, I planted the north forty this weekend and ended up with an honest-to-Jebus farmer's tan.

[SUMMARY: There's a little white trash in all of us.%]


Speaking of weather, with the current and recent levels of humidity in Denverish,## my hair has become large and unruly.

I give up. The hair is on its own.

In other weather news, I finally bought an umbrella, so it hasn't rained on my walks to and from the office in days.

[SUMMARY: This is me... this is the universe revolving around me...]


And in the lick of a pig, I'm off.


No. 2: Wicken 3000 - Bernhard Willhelm & Lucas Sieuzac for Six Scents (Part 2 in the series)†††

Marin says: Alcohol *flash!*

Aldehyde *flash!*

Soap *flash!*

A brief *flash!* that makes me want to quote Grains de Musc on Jean Claude Ellena,‡‡‡ then licorice and bay rum under heavy cloud cover.

This is so watery and close to the skin and disappears so fast -- even with three direct hits from the bottle.

It's inoffensive.

It's almost not there.

Six Scents says: "A light, fresh, clean scent that embodies a fusion of the elements. The idea was to create a perfume close to the elements of water and air,but with a futuristic approach.§§§ Express "the Back to nature" side of Bernhard with a pure & essential fragrance." - Lucas Sieuzac,

Perfumer Ingredients: Sea Breeze Accord, Bergamot, Water Jasmine, Sheer Musk.

Hans says: Whew! There's a lot of alcohol! It smells like a gin and tonic. It's definitely very light. I like it, but it's very... it smells like, um, summer mist off a... weeping willow.¶¶¶

FOOTNOTE (crossed): I may be overestimating your excitement over pig-licking.

FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Srsly.

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Not the one I take pictures of all the time... the one across the street from that.

FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): We were.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): I'm not telling you where.

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): For those of you scoring at home, the Green Bay Packers are harder. heheheheheheheh

‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): Jealous? Oh, please be jealous.

§§FOOTNOTE (I'm just a little confused): sp?

¶¶FOOTNOTE (staked tomotoes): Because I'm a tomato dork.

%FOOTNOTE (percented): Except maybe Nathan.

##FOOTNOTE (the pounding moist): Unheard of humidity! Humidity on a grand scale! A swamp's worth of humidity!

†††FOOTNOTE (tick tick tick): That sounds so 60 Minutes, doesn't it?

‡‡‡FOOTNOTE (I tracked it down!): " of Jean Claude Ellena's many variations on the smell of water." And a big auxilliary slurp to Nathan for that quote.

§§§FOOTNOTE (triple take): Hey, that's what I said!

¶¶¶FOOTNOTE (three pats for Hans): And this is why we continue to keep Hans around.

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