Thursday, May 22, 2008

Las Arañas en la Pelicula Bailan

Or, as we say on Thursdays here in Piglatnia, "Oslay Rañasay enay alay Eliculapay Ailanbay."%

The other day, I dropped off a couple of NPR maps for my dad and one of his little girlfriends. Heading around the corner to the back, I saw a mass of yellow speckles wafting in a spider web on the downspout of his rain gutter.

At first I thought it was pollen, and I blew on it a little to see if it would fall out of the web and it started crawling.


Tiny yellow spiders.

Hundreds of 'em.

Now, I am just this side of terrified when it comes to spiders, but I think they're elegant and beautiful creatures, so I watched them for awhile then went home, skin crawling all the way.

Hi, Mom!

[SUMMARY: I am a complex and unpredictable creature. Or maybe just weird.]


Hans pointed these ladies out to me. I'm waffling between them being exact negative images of each other or could-they-be-more-different, but they do have similar metallic purses.

[SUMMARY: It is our similarities and not our differences that bring us together.]


There are many vintage Guinness posters on the walls at Patrick Carroll's. The knitters were in the back room§ last week and sat right across from this one.

We all took it to mean there was a Guinness hidden picture game in the offing. We spent a fair amount of time going, "Is that a Guinness there... in the lobster tail? Wait! Look at the crab's claw..."

I have since decided the crab and the lobster are just really pissed at the fish for bringing a zucchini instead of a Guinness.

[SUMMARY: Who the hell mistakes a zucchini for a Guinness?]


I was at Target the other night. This goose just stood there and watched meput my new summer bedding# in the car. I thought that was worth a photo.††

[SUMMARY: I may be running out of viable infotainment already.]


When I walked over to Sylvia's Tuesday night, pre-Drunken Knitting, I saw this:

It made me sing‡‡ that song from Sesame Street. You know...

One of these things is not like the other.
One of these things just doesn't belong.
Can you tell me which thing is not like the other
before I finish this song?♪♪

[SUMMARY: ...purple! run! run!]


As your reward for putting up with this lame and disjointed pig-licking, I now give you a movie short.§§ It's the AntiM Productions classic, "Dance of the Crawly Scourge."

[SUMMARY: Ang Lee, eat your heart out.]

%FOOTNOTE (percented): Admit it... Spanish translated to Pig Latin is going above and beyond the call of duty. And so multicultural, it's practically a petrie dish.

FOOTNOTE (crossed): Not snarky. OK, a little snarky. Hey, give me a little buffer. Some of you are used to your parents dating. I'm not even used to my dad having *friends*.

FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Later, when I say, "opposites attract," I'd like you to look the other way.

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): With the pool table, the shuffleboard and the oddly obnoxious people.

FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Until I grabbed the camera to take his picture, then he turned his head as if camera shy. Really, though -- before he turned his head he was so perfectly symmetrical and so still, I almost thought he was a decoy or some sort of plastic garden decoration.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): There's a story. Isn't there always a story? And aren't I usually more than willing to tell you? Anyway... I have the big fluffy comforter covered by the rosy-pink duvet...

...but it's getting too heavy for the weather.^ This was not a big surprise, as it happens every year, but last year I bought a thin little quilt from Target. It was rosy-pink and had ecru crewel jigsaw stitching all over it (so I thought) and I thought it would be perfect with my existing stuff. Only I got it home and unrolled it from its sleeping bag-like state and found it had a BRIGHT orange stripe in the middle. I lived with it for a summer, but hated it with a passion. So I decided to go for something new this year and donate the BRIGHT orange stripe to a worthy charity.

^FOOTNOTE WITHIN A FOOTNOTE (careted): Considering we had two days of spring this year. Seriously... it snowed and snowed and snowed, then it was 70 degrees for a couple of days, then *bam!* 80! 90!

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): And I'm sure the half-dozen bemused shoppers watching me take the picture agreed.

‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): Sometimes I don't think, I sing. It's charming. I'm sure the half-dozen bemused bikers listening to me sing agreed.

§§FOOTNOTE (what a tangled web): Sometimes I take movies of odd things. It's artsy. I'm sure the half-dozen hundred yellow spiders agreed.

No comments: