Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Old. Feeble.

You know how you're sitting at your desk and you decide, "Hey, I think I'll take a little detour on my way home tonight and [go by Michael's and see if they have some Sugar 'n' Cream in a colour I like so I can knit a Hello Kitty washcloth for Kelley for Christmas]"?

And you know how you get in your car and flip on the radio and you're humming to yourself and making frowny faces at the news and noticing how quickly that new McDonald's is going up and why couldn't the contractors who did your kitchen work that quickly and they really should repair that pothole, somebody's going to lose a Mini Cooper and the next thing you know you're in your garage and you're halfway to the living room to park your ass for the night before you realise you just auto-piloted yourself out of a trip to the craft store?

[SUMMARY: And by "you," I mean, "me." Hey, that's not a summary!]

So today at lunch I was headed to The Corner Bakery to get the Turkey Harvest sandwich and I looked up and I was halfway to the New Paperbacks section§ in Barnes and Noble.

I don't need books. I have books. The way I'm reading books these days, I won't get through the ones I have before it's time for me to get bifocals.

[SUMMARY: Book. Problem.]

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go count the skulls in the new knitting book.

FOOTNOTE (crossed): [Insert detour fantasy of your choice here.]

FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Which is a little holiday orgasm for my mouth and I can't stop thinking about it. I would swear there is crack in with the horseradish-cranberry chutney.

ETA: Hans has coined the phrase, "crackberry chutney."

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Which requires a trip down a half-flight of stairs, then up an escalator. I just want you to know the depths of my devotion to dorkitude.

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