Heheheheheheh.
[by way of Great White Snark]
Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
When Did This Happen?
It doesn't seem that long ago that cancer was a wholly defeatable thing.
I knew several people with cancer who did their time in the chemo chair, dropped some hair and came out the other side. Maybe they had a bigger appreciation for life or a greater respect for their bodies, but they came out mostly unscathed and unchanged.
When Mom told me she had lymphoma, I put my head in her lap and cried for a moment, but I cried because I knew she didn't have an easy road ahead. I also knew she would be just fine. And she was. She was good. She was making remarkable progress. Then she wasn't. Then she was dead.
Starting with Mom, almost everybody I know who was diagnosed with cancer has died.
Kristen, the subject of the spelling bee in March, died Sunday. She was good. She was clean. Then she wasn't. Then she was dead.
I'm so tired and sad. I didn't even know Kristen personally, but she is the latest representative in a long line of people who shouldn't have died. Her friends are my friends and our world is a sadder place.
My psyche is just shattered today.
I knew several people with cancer who did their time in the chemo chair, dropped some hair and came out the other side. Maybe they had a bigger appreciation for life or a greater respect for their bodies, but they came out mostly unscathed and unchanged.
When Mom told me she had lymphoma, I put my head in her lap and cried for a moment, but I cried because I knew she didn't have an easy road ahead. I also knew she would be just fine. And she was. She was good. She was making remarkable progress. Then she wasn't. Then she was dead.
Starting with Mom, almost everybody I know who was diagnosed with cancer has died.
Kristen, the subject of the spelling bee in March, died Sunday. She was good. She was clean. Then she wasn't. Then she was dead.
I'm so tired and sad. I didn't even know Kristen personally, but she is the latest representative in a long line of people who shouldn't have died. Her friends are my friends and our world is a sadder place.
My psyche is just shattered today.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
Tongue Bone Connected to the Pig Bone
OK... everybody who laughed at "tongue bone," raise your hands.
Everybody who laughed at "pig bone"?
We are so twelve.
[SUMMARY: Status quo. We has it.]
*************
I used to park in the $9 lot across the street from the office. I started parking at a $3 lot down the street from the office, only partly because we were recently given a parking per diem and I am now making $5 parking three blocks away.
But that's not the important part. The important part is that I have to have $3 cash every day. This led to many amusing incidents wherein I tried to make my lunch bill or grocery bill come out to a certain amount so I would get piles of ones back in my change.%
With my last paycheck, I got proactive and took the odd amount† in cash and asked for ones.‡
So I sit some nights in front of the TiVi, carefully folding individual bills in half, in half, in half again... then paper-clipping three together. Then I put those little, paper-clipped bundles in one of the organza bags that haunts my life and carry them proudly§ in my purse.
Some of you are probably thinking what a obsessive dork I am, but I tell you all this to point out something even dorkier: someone gets paid to unfold all those dollar bills from the parking bank.
[SUMMARY: Job security. They has it.]
*************
Know one of the great things about cold weather?¶
Footie pajamas.
Target sells them every year sometime between Halloween and Thanksgiving. They tend to go fast, so keep an eye out.#
[SUMMARY: Sexy. I lost it.]
*************
My knitting has been non-existent in the past three or four weeks.
I picked up the needles this weekend to make a bat for the Dracula swap on Ravelry. The pattern is... oblique. I need more pictures.
Or I may just have to start making shit up.
It's called making a comeback.
[SUMMARY: Skillz. I still has some.]
*************
I -- we -- also seriously lapsed on our push up quest. However, I'm going to reassess myself and start wherever I need to. I'm not giving up, just temporarily flaking out.
[SUMMARY: Ambitions. I... oh, you get the idea. I'm not sure how funny the lolcat construct is in repetitive text.]
*************
Now back to work. Werk.
Well, at least back to bossing Hans around.
[SUMMARY: Work ethic...]
*************
Tolu - Ormonde Jayne
Marin says: Elusive. It smelled like cinnamon and toilet paper (remember the Marin lexicon for scents - TP is not bad, just descriptive). A little powdery, but for once, not in a bad way. Opaque, but light, and mostly sweet, not in a bad way.
Oops. Spoke too soon. I had lilac-scented powder when I was a kid and this is a thick, nominally more sophisticated version of that now.
Dries down to a powdery-sweet dry wood.
Ormonde Jayne says: (A Peruvian†† tree resin.) Perfume treasure, this opulent velvety formulation with pure Tolu resin takes you on a sensual Oriental journey. Laced with golden frankincense and amber, the scent's core is enveloped with a heady mix of orange blossom and clary sage, while intense citrus notes consolidate the harmony.
Top: Juniper berry, orange blossom and clary sage
Heart: Orchid, Moroccan rose and muguet
Base: Tolu, tonka bean, golden frankincense and amber$
Hans says: Smoky. Not smoky-smoky... maybe it's because I had two cigars last night. Musty?
%FOOTNOTE (percented): It became a weird lifestyle thing. When I realised I was planning large parts of my shopping, budget and whole days to trying to track down one... more... dollar... bill... well, it was time for a better plan of action.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Actually, it was $88, which is a distinctly even amount, but it was the amount that made my deposit end in two zeros.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): I was kind. I told the terrified little girl at the teller's window she didn't have to count out the $25 bundles for me.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Hey, you'd be proud too if you got the change-making monkey off your back.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): It's a segueway. A rhetorical segueway. I'm sure y'all could come up with lot of good things about cold weather that have nothing to do with my pajamas.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Yes, I know you can buy them year-round on the Innernets, but it's like seasonal fruit: there's something shiny about the scarcity.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Heh. Peruvian. That one's for you, Jaxon.
$FOOTNOTE (on the money): I got nothing.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Monday, October 13, 2008
The Dew is on the Denverish
I am having one of those days.
One of those days where the pain -- the career pain, the political pain, the spiritual pain, the PMS pain, the nagging little stitch in my lower back because I keep forgetting to sit back in my chair, the pain of curly hair, the heartache of dry skin, the angst of impending holidays, the continuing popularity of Paris Hilton, the torture that is bad coffee, the fleeting days, the sorrow of ages...
Besides, I haven't done the obligatory blogtour of autumn, so here's my contribution. Click to embiggen.
Don't ask me how much I love the last photo. You'll fear for my soul.
Happy Thursday.
One of those days where the pain -- the career pain, the political pain, the spiritual pain, the PMS pain, the nagging little stitch in my lower back because I keep forgetting to sit back in my chair, the pain of curly hair, the heartache of dry skin, the angst of impending holidays, the continuing popularity of Paris Hilton, the torture that is bad coffee, the fleeting days, the sorrow of ages...
Besides, I haven't done the obligatory blogtour of autumn, so here's my contribution. Click to embiggen.
Don't ask me how much I love the last photo. You'll fear for my soul.
Happy Thursday.
Just Like Christmas
I got my Secret Pal package! Saturday!@
Because I'm really nice,† I'm going to share.‡
My spoiler was Helen from Alabama. And I was right. She *does* sing.%
First, an overview -- there's some Addi lace needles and... huh... you can't see the bath salts, but they're there, they probably ended up behind something, there's a copy of the Knitter's Almanac and a nice bookmark.§
Oh, but that's not all. Some things require a close-up:
Brown Sheep Wildfoote sock yarn in Rhapsody and Mountain Colors Mountain Goat in Wild Raspberry.
Skull tattoos... dozens and dozens of 'em.
A knit bag¶ with a lovely lining.
I tried hard not to tear the Alice in Wonderland paper, but there was *tape*.
Lookie! I got a scarf! It's, like, nine or ten feet long, which puts it in Dr. Who territory.^
And a toilet brush!
It's really a toss-up as to which of the scarf and the toilet brush is my favourite. Nobody but my mom ever knit me anything, and the hat and scarf she knit for me are long gone. It's just really cool to have something hand-knit of my own.
On the other hand, how cool is a skull-encrusted toilet brush set? And it comes with a funny story: The handle of the brush screws into the brush part. When I opened the box and started pulling stuff out,# I pulled out a tissue-wrapped bundle that contained... a toilet brush.
And I looked at it.
And I wondered.
And I decidedSecret Pal Helen certainly deserved the benefit of the doubt, but still secretly wondered if she had accidentally wrapped a replacement toilet brush up and was even now wondering how she was going to get her toilet clean with a needle gauge or a box of tea or some such.
I pulled out a skull-laden candle holder,†† but it wasn't until I came across the skull-topped magic wand†† that the lightbulb went off.
Almost as good as Nintendo, I tell you, putting the pieces of that puzzle together.
Thanks, Helen! And thank you for all your comments too -- it's been great getting to know you.
*************
I'm doing Week 3 of the pushups over again. I had some lame moments, both literally and figuratively, in the last round. I'll let you know how that goes when I actually START Week 3, part 2.
*************
Sublime Balkiss - The Different Company
Marin says: A shriek of grapefruit over a solid base of a warm-but-not-sweet wood. The wood smells like teak looks. And the shriek fades away quickly to a kind of bitter, herbal, green smell.
In the spirit of a hell of a roll-out, a warm, powdery ambery scent - very light - wraps around it.
Then the oddest WTF blurt of plastic and sour citrus. It's one of those I keep sniffing every few minutes because it develops so intriguingly. I'm not sure if, ultimately, it's all that wearable for me.
I'll definitely give it a fresh shot on another day.
TPC says: Sublime Balkiss is named for the Queen of Sheba. The Different Company describes it as a modern chypre fragrance without oakmoss (real or synthetic) or animal-derived raw materials.
Created by Celine Ellena, it has notes of the traditional patchouli, a modified modern patchouli which emphasizes the cocoa powder notes, bergamot,$ violet,$ black and purple berries,? blueberry, blackberry, blackcurrant, lily of the valley, rose and lilac.
Hans says: That smells like swimming pool. [Second sniff] Earthy. Like vegetable-y... like roots, not dirt. [Much later] Elephant.
‡‡§§¶¶##
@FOOTNOTE (atted): 'Cause, you know, didn't check the mail 'til Monday, had to take pictures, small delay, all is well. *ahem*
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): I feel you snickering, Brother. I know where you live.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Well, I mean I'm going to show-and-tell share. I'd guess I won't be distributing any goodies anytime soon. I'm not *that* nice.
%FOOTNOTE (percented): More than just for my birthday, that is.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): With a mermaid.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): I really love the gold yarn on the bag, Helen. What is it?
^FOOTNOTE (careted): The old Dr. Who. I haven't so much noticed David Tennat wearing a long, stripey scarf.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Not at all like a kid at Christmas.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Or so it seemed.
$FOOTNOTE (on the money): Ha! Sort of got one! OK, bergamot is a bitter orange, so it could read grapefruit and violet always has a sort of plastic/petroleum product air to it. So I'm giving myself some credit. Shut up.
?FOOTNOTE (WTF?): I so did not get any kind of berries.
Because I'm really nice,† I'm going to share.‡
My spoiler was Helen from Alabama. And I was right. She *does* sing.%
First, an overview -- there's some Addi lace needles and... huh... you can't see the bath salts, but they're there, they probably ended up behind something, there's a copy of the Knitter's Almanac and a nice bookmark.§
Oh, but that's not all. Some things require a close-up:
Brown Sheep Wildfoote sock yarn in Rhapsody and Mountain Colors Mountain Goat in Wild Raspberry.
Skull tattoos... dozens and dozens of 'em.
A knit bag¶ with a lovely lining.
I tried hard not to tear the Alice in Wonderland paper, but there was *tape*.
Lookie! I got a scarf! It's, like, nine or ten feet long, which puts it in Dr. Who territory.^
And a toilet brush!
It's really a toss-up as to which of the scarf and the toilet brush is my favourite. Nobody but my mom ever knit me anything, and the hat and scarf she knit for me are long gone. It's just really cool to have something hand-knit of my own.
On the other hand, how cool is a skull-encrusted toilet brush set? And it comes with a funny story: The handle of the brush screws into the brush part. When I opened the box and started pulling stuff out,# I pulled out a tissue-wrapped bundle that contained... a toilet brush.
And I looked at it.
And I wondered.
And I decided
I pulled out a skull-laden candle holder,†† but it wasn't until I came across the skull-topped magic wand†† that the lightbulb went off.
Almost as good as Nintendo, I tell you, putting the pieces of that puzzle together.
Thanks, Helen! And thank you for all your comments too -- it's been great getting to know you.
*************
I'm doing Week 3 of the pushups over again. I had some lame moments, both literally and figuratively, in the last round. I'll let you know how that goes when I actually START Week 3, part 2.
*************
Sublime Balkiss - The Different Company
Marin says: A shriek of grapefruit over a solid base of a warm-but-not-sweet wood. The wood smells like teak looks. And the shriek fades away quickly to a kind of bitter, herbal, green smell.
In the spirit of a hell of a roll-out, a warm, powdery ambery scent - very light - wraps around it.
Then the oddest WTF blurt of plastic and sour citrus. It's one of those I keep sniffing every few minutes because it develops so intriguingly. I'm not sure if, ultimately, it's all that wearable for me.
I'll definitely give it a fresh shot on another day.
TPC says: Sublime Balkiss is named for the Queen of Sheba. The Different Company describes it as a modern chypre fragrance without oakmoss (real or synthetic) or animal-derived raw materials.
Created by Celine Ellena, it has notes of the traditional patchouli, a modified modern patchouli which emphasizes the cocoa powder notes, bergamot,$ violet,$ black and purple berries,? blueberry, blackberry, blackcurrant, lily of the valley, rose and lilac.
Hans says: That smells like swimming pool. [Second sniff] Earthy. Like vegetable-y... like roots, not dirt. [Much later] Elephant.
‡‡§§¶¶##
@FOOTNOTE (atted): 'Cause, you know, didn't check the mail 'til Monday, had to take pictures, small delay, all is well. *ahem*
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): I feel you snickering, Brother. I know where you live.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Well, I mean I'm going to show-and-tell share. I'd guess I won't be distributing any goodies anytime soon. I'm not *that* nice.
%FOOTNOTE (percented): More than just for my birthday, that is.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): With a mermaid.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): I really love the gold yarn on the bag, Helen. What is it?
^FOOTNOTE (careted): The old Dr. Who. I haven't so much noticed David Tennat wearing a long, stripey scarf.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Not at all like a kid at Christmas.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Or so it seemed.
$FOOTNOTE (on the money): Ha! Sort of got one! OK, bergamot is a bitter orange, so it could read grapefruit and violet always has a sort of plastic/petroleum product air to it. So I'm giving myself some credit. Shut up.
?FOOTNOTE (WTF?): I so did not get any kind of berries.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Bite Me
TTHFCIF
I'm outta here.
The weekend did not come soon enough for my taste, so I am taking matters into my own hands.
Meanwhile, y'all can click on the great big spider to go play your own creepy version of Risk.
I like to pile up flies on Poland and watch the ensuing mayhem with historically accurate glee.
I'm outta here.
The weekend did not come soon enough for my taste, so I am taking matters into my own hands.
Meanwhile, y'all can click on the great big spider to go play your own creepy version of Risk.
I like to pile up flies on Poland and watch the ensuing mayhem with historically accurate glee.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
My Friends at Nintendo
My Nintendo intentions are ever inventing.†
I'm sure the general public‡ was at least as shocked as I was when the nice people at Girlfriends Guide to Gaming picked me as influential and asked me to provide the body count for a Nintendo DS Lite party a couple of months back.
I only wish I could structure this blogpost so y'all could be as surprised as I was Monday night.
Here's the story%:
I try to remember to open my front door every couple of days§ to check for pizza coupons and UPS deliveries.¶
Monday, in a fit of adult responsibility, I did just that, expecting nothing.
There it was: a square, white box, six inches to a side, two inches deep.@
[SUMMARY: Serendipity!]
It was addressed to me, but I couldn't figure out what it could possibly be. Usually when I get a package, I'm well aware of it. Most of the time, I paid somebody to bring me the package. So I quickly ticked back through my mind to try to determine what it might be.#
Hmmmmm... perfume samples come in bubble mailers.††
Yarn comes in the postbox.‡‡
[SUMMARY: My knowledge of the mailing habits of the smelly and fuzzy is enviable.]
I finally opened the box.§§
As a side note, the cat was very into the box. I'd begun to think he'd found my credit card and ordered exotic tuna from distant lands, as difficult as it was getting him out of the way long enough to rip the tape off.
[SUMMARY: Cats know better than to *think* about what's in the box.]
And it was not tuna. It was this¶¶:
The letter, from my friends at Nintendo,## tells me all about the sleuthing I could be doing†††:
So I haven't been knitting a lot these past few nights.
[SUMMARY: See: long attention span, not easily distracted.]
If anybody knows how to get past the bird safe, could you let me know?‡‡‡
*************
Les Bijoux - Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab (Ars Amatoria, oil)
Marin says: It smells like roses and crisp fall apples to me... and something really synthetic. After that first blast, the roses and the synthetic syrup calmed down and it all melded into a very nice apple -- like real apples, not like Jolly Rancher neon green apples.
I loved the apple phase -- for a bit, it was like a memory of going to Wisconsin in the fall with my mom and stopping at the indoor farmer's market for cheese curds and the crispest, winiest apples^ that only autumn can give.
It faded back to a powdery rose, with the powder inexorably overtaking.
BPAL says: Skin musk and honey, blood-red rose,$ orange blossom, white peach, red apple,$ frankincense and myrrh
Hans says: Rose and porta-potty.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Yeah, I'm not sure it means much, but it trips on the tongue. I'm all for a little tongue-tripping when you can get it. Heheheheh. Twelve.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): And by "general public," I mean, "you."
%FOOTNOTE (percented): And the back-story. And a little side story. Probably a tangent. And a dick joke. Maybe even a perfume review.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Because, like the postbox, it is not on my regular route and requires a special trip.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): I love my UPS guy. I've loved ALL my UPS guys. When they say, "What can Brown do for you?" I start making a list.
@FOOTNOTE (atted): I'm giggling like Beavis, I'm so twelve right now.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Because you know I have this habit of playing detective with the mail and the caller ID rather than just opening the damned thing and getting a ready answer.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): And little drawstring organza bags. I brought the Tallest, Hairiest Nephew some bottle caps for his bottle cap collection in a nice little drawstring organza bag and my smart ass of a sister-in-law said, "Wherever did you get a bag like that?"
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): It's starting to sound like an episode of CSI.
§§FOOTNOTE (streamers!): Does anybody else feel like there should be confetti and party horns?
¶¶FOOTNOTE (two magnifying glasses -- I only got one, but, really... how many magnifying glasses does one Nintendo geek need?): *magnifying glass included
##FOOTNOTE (two pints are two pounds the world around): They are too. Says so right in the letter. Nintendo is my new best friend!
†††FOOTNOTE (my crosscrosscross to bear): And they didn't even know about all the sleuthing I did just because a box showed up on my porch!
‡‡‡FOOTNOTE (tracks of my brain): Seriously, I'm starting to think the game is stuck.
^FOOTNOTE (careted): Public Service Announcement: It's that time of year again. If you can get your hands on Honeycrisp apples, just DO IT. Best... so crisp... sweet, tart... *drool* If you're in Denver-ish, King Soopers carries organic, Colorado-grown Honeycrisp apples.
Why are you still sitting here?
$FOOTNOTE (on the money): Ha! Got one!
#NintendoEnthused
I'm sure the general public‡ was at least as shocked as I was when the nice people at Girlfriends Guide to Gaming picked me as influential and asked me to provide the body count for a Nintendo DS Lite party a couple of months back.
I only wish I could structure this blogpost so y'all could be as surprised as I was Monday night.
Here's the story%:
I try to remember to open my front door every couple of days§ to check for pizza coupons and UPS deliveries.¶
Monday, in a fit of adult responsibility, I did just that, expecting nothing.
There it was: a square, white box, six inches to a side, two inches deep.@
[SUMMARY: Serendipity!]
It was addressed to me, but I couldn't figure out what it could possibly be. Usually when I get a package, I'm well aware of it. Most of the time, I paid somebody to bring me the package. So I quickly ticked back through my mind to try to determine what it might be.#
Hmmmmm... perfume samples come in bubble mailers.††
Yarn comes in the postbox.‡‡
[SUMMARY: My knowledge of the mailing habits of the smelly and fuzzy is enviable.]
I finally opened the box.§§
As a side note, the cat was very into the box. I'd begun to think he'd found my credit card and ordered exotic tuna from distant lands, as difficult as it was getting him out of the way long enough to rip the tape off.
[SUMMARY: Cats know better than to *think* about what's in the box.]
And it was not tuna. It was this¶¶:
The letter, from my friends at Nintendo,## tells me all about the sleuthing I could be doing†††:
So I haven't been knitting a lot these past few nights.
[SUMMARY: See: long attention span, not easily distracted.]
If anybody knows how to get past the bird safe, could you let me know?‡‡‡
*************
Les Bijoux - Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab (Ars Amatoria, oil)
Marin says: It smells like roses and crisp fall apples to me... and something really synthetic. After that first blast, the roses and the synthetic syrup calmed down and it all melded into a very nice apple -- like real apples, not like Jolly Rancher neon green apples.
I loved the apple phase -- for a bit, it was like a memory of going to Wisconsin in the fall with my mom and stopping at the indoor farmer's market for cheese curds and the crispest, winiest apples^ that only autumn can give.
It faded back to a powdery rose, with the powder inexorably overtaking.
BPAL says: Skin musk and honey, blood-red rose,$ orange blossom, white peach, red apple,$ frankincense and myrrh
Hans says: Rose and porta-potty.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Yeah, I'm not sure it means much, but it trips on the tongue. I'm all for a little tongue-tripping when you can get it. Heheheheh. Twelve.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): And by "general public," I mean, "you."
%FOOTNOTE (percented): And the back-story. And a little side story. Probably a tangent. And a dick joke. Maybe even a perfume review.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Because, like the postbox, it is not on my regular route and requires a special trip.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): I love my UPS guy. I've loved ALL my UPS guys. When they say, "What can Brown do for you?" I start making a list.
@FOOTNOTE (atted): I'm giggling like Beavis, I'm so twelve right now.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Because you know I have this habit of playing detective with the mail and the caller ID rather than just opening the damned thing and getting a ready answer.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): And little drawstring organza bags. I brought the Tallest, Hairiest Nephew some bottle caps for his bottle cap collection in a nice little drawstring organza bag and my smart ass of a sister-in-law said, "Wherever did you get a bag like that?"
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): It's starting to sound like an episode of CSI.
§§FOOTNOTE (streamers!): Does anybody else feel like there should be confetti and party horns?
¶¶FOOTNOTE (two magnifying glasses -- I only got one, but, really... how many magnifying glasses does one Nintendo geek need?): *magnifying glass included
##FOOTNOTE (two pints are two pounds the world around): They are too. Says so right in the letter. Nintendo is my new best friend!
†††FOOTNOTE (my crosscrosscross to bear): And they didn't even know about all the sleuthing I did just because a box showed up on my porch!
‡‡‡FOOTNOTE (tracks of my brain): Seriously, I'm starting to think the game is stuck.
^FOOTNOTE (careted): Public Service Announcement: It's that time of year again. If you can get your hands on Honeycrisp apples, just DO IT. Best... so crisp... sweet, tart... *drool* If you're in Denver-ish, King Soopers carries organic, Colorado-grown Honeycrisp apples.
Why are you still sitting here?
$FOOTNOTE (on the money): Ha! Got one!
#NintendoEnthused
Sam Adams is My Financial Advisor
If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have $49.00 today.
If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you would have $33.00 today.
If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you would have $0.00 today.
But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refund, you would have received $214.00.
Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle. It is called the 401-Keg.
Everybody laughed when I told them where my money was going.
Who's laughing now?
If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you would have $33.00 today.
If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you would have $0.00 today.
But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refund, you would have received $214.00.
Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle. It is called the 401-Keg.
Everybody laughed when I told them where my money was going.
Who's laughing now?
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
| Your Attention Span is Long |
 You're attention span is amazingly long. You can concentrate well, and your mind doesn't stray easily. Even if you have a mundane task to complete, you can get it done easily. Because you don't get distracted, you accomplish more than most people. Your self discipline is your greatest strength. You can will yourself to do almost anything. All you have to do is put your mind to it. |
Monday, October 6, 2008
Housekeeping
Not at my house, to be sure,† but I thought the elephant deserved his own post,‡ so here's the update on the 100 push ups and a perfume review:
*************
I have been lagging on the fifth set every round of push ups -- the one where they give you a minimum, but tell you to do as many as you can.§
I was blaming my near-misses on tennis, but Juno says it was a very big step up from the second week to the third week, so I feel much better.¶
*************
Rem - Reminiscence
Marin says: Pipe tobacco humidified with rum. EXTREMELY light and short-lived. In fact, I would have raved, but I've decided to rave only as long as the perfume itself lasted.
And we're done.
The Perfumed Court says: A tropical fragrance with top notes of bergamot, cyclamen, and oceanic ozone; middle notes of honeysuckle, geranium, and palmarosa; and base notes of musk, vanilla, coconut, patchouli, sandalwood, and tonka bean. This is a European exclusive and is not available in the United States.#
Hans says: Daquiri.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Come on over any time, Lyda!
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Of COURSE it's a him.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): You may remember this part via the Moment of Great Hubris in Which I Proclaimed I Would Do More Than 35 Push Ups at Once.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Apparently I require a lot of validation.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): See: sucker for the exclusive.
*************
I have been lagging on the fifth set every round of push ups -- the one where they give you a minimum, but tell you to do as many as you can.§
I was blaming my near-misses on tennis, but Juno says it was a very big step up from the second week to the third week, so I feel much better.¶
*************
Rem - Reminiscence
Marin says: Pipe tobacco humidified with rum. EXTREMELY light and short-lived. In fact, I would have raved, but I've decided to rave only as long as the perfume itself lasted.
And we're done.
The Perfumed Court says: A tropical fragrance with top notes of bergamot, cyclamen, and oceanic ozone; middle notes of honeysuckle, geranium, and palmarosa; and base notes of musk, vanilla, coconut, patchouli, sandalwood, and tonka bean. This is a European exclusive and is not available in the United States.#
Hans says: Daquiri.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Come on over any time, Lyda!
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Of COURSE it's a him.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): You may remember this part via the Moment of Great Hubris in Which I Proclaimed I Would Do More Than 35 Push Ups at Once.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Apparently I require a lot of validation.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): See: sucker for the exclusive.
Take That, You Democrats!
A nice piece of elephant:
[SUMMARY: The best punchlines are served up cold.%]
I went to one of those parties this weekend. I told the saleschick† I wanted to take a picture of the Perfect Jewel and exactly why. She thought it was funny, then told me I could just go to the website and steal their picture.
Once I got to their website, I was sadly disappointed by the enlargement options‡ on their photos. Thus, this isn't the greatest picture, but I trust you'll get the idea.§
%FOOTNOTE (percented): Ask the people in Jonestown.
I'm going to hell.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Not her official title, and probably one of those accidentally anti-feminist remarks I tend to make, being not very sensitive and all.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): If you were selling vibrators, wouldn't you want wildly liberal enlargement options? For so many reasons?
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): 'Cause y'all are smart that way. Wouldn't a picture of a donkey be so appropriate right about now?
[SUMMARY: The best punchlines are served up cold.%]
I went to one of those parties this weekend. I told the saleschick† I wanted to take a picture of the Perfect Jewel and exactly why. She thought it was funny, then told me I could just go to the website and steal their picture.
Once I got to their website, I was sadly disappointed by the enlargement options‡ on their photos. Thus, this isn't the greatest picture, but I trust you'll get the idea.§
%FOOTNOTE (percented): Ask the people in Jonestown.
I'm going to hell.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Not her official title, and probably one of those accidentally anti-feminist remarks I tend to make, being not very sensitive and all.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): If you were selling vibrators, wouldn't you want wildly liberal enlargement options? For so many reasons?
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): 'Cause y'all are smart that way. Wouldn't a picture of a donkey be so appropriate right about now?
Friday, October 3, 2008
It Has Come to My Attention†
TTHFCIF
In Wedesday's post about the dodecahedron,‡ I used the term "...ball with twelve points," and didn't say, "That's what she said!"
I didn't say, "I've had dreams like that!"
I didn't say, "That's going to leave a mark!"
I didn't even snicker.
Not a single moment of twelvehood in the whole of my feebleness.
[SUMMARY: They're ice fishing in Hell.]
I apologise to those I disappointed or frightened. I did not have a stroke, I did not become stuffy. I simply... lapsed.
So, in celebration of Friday and all that is twelve, I say to you BALLS! Balls! ballsballsballs! Heheheheheh! Balls! BALLSBALLSballsballsballsballsB-A-L-L-S! Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalls! Balls! lalalalaballs! b a l l s! Pelotas! Balls! ball-de-ballballballs! b.b.b.b.b.b.b.b.b.balls! eeeeeyah! BALLLLLLLS! ballsballs fofalls bananafana boballs memymomalls balls! mmmmmmmmmmmmmballs! Cojones! Balls! ballsballs TIT-leist! Balls! BALLS!
[SUMMARY: Balls!]
I'm AntiM and I approve this message.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): To be completely accurate, Kim brought it to my attention.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Wow. One post removed... I'm *that* self-referential.
In Wedesday's post about the dodecahedron,‡ I used the term "...ball with twelve points," and didn't say, "That's what she said!"
I didn't say, "I've had dreams like that!"
I didn't say, "That's going to leave a mark!"
I didn't even snicker.
Not a single moment of twelvehood in the whole of my feebleness.
[SUMMARY: They're ice fishing in Hell.]
I apologise to those I disappointed or frightened. I did not have a stroke, I did not become stuffy. I simply... lapsed.
So, in celebration of Friday and all that is twelve, I say to you BALLS! Balls! ballsballsballs! Heheheheheh! Balls! BALLSBALLSballsballsballsballsB-A-L-L-S! Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalls! Balls! lalalalaballs! b a l l s! Pelotas! Balls! ball-de-ballballballs! b.b.b.b.b.b.b.b.b.balls! eeeeeyah! BALLLLLLLS! ballsballs fofalls bananafana boballs memymomalls balls! mmmmmmmmmmmmmballs! Cojones! Balls! ballsballs TIT-leist! Balls! BALLS!
[SUMMARY: Balls!]
I'm AntiM and I approve this message.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): To be completely accurate, Kim brought it to my attention.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Wow. One post removed... I'm *that* self-referential.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Old & Feeble
I may have used that blogtitle before, but I don't remember. Know why?
'Cause I'm old and feeble.
The old part I don't mind so much, but the feeble is driving me crazy.
[SUMMARY: Short trip, easy on the gas.†]
For instance, I have spent the last several days finalising the distillation and reporting of data from several regional offices, various warring factions and possibly outer space.
When I had done all I thought I could do, I sent it to the regional offices and warring factions for proofing and remodeling.‡
Which, of course, generated a variety of confusing and/or ill-conceived responses like, "Where's the Bunnyfart 2-12 well? I thought we were selling ALL the Bunnyfart wells as long as they were in east Texas,"§ and, "Did anyone check to see if the Kwisatz Haderach still wanted to play a quick game of craps with the potential buyers to see who gets the royalty interests?"¶
This morning, I came in to find emails with time stamps like "11:43 pm" and "4:37 am" talking about things that were fixed weeks ago.
Finally, I got a set of corrections back from one department.
And it was all done on old data sheets. Sheets I couldn't even suss out when they were done because there were wells from the LAST sale on them.
I sent a mildly snarky email saying, "I don't know where you got these. These are the wrong data sheets. Please look at the data sheets I sent you yesterday afternoon and confirm the numbers."
To which I got the reply, "I got the data sheets from you yesterday morning when I told you I was leaving on vacation and you agreed to send me what you had."
*ahem*
There are still wells from the last sale in that batch that I didn't send her yesterday.#
[SUMMARY: Let the finger-pointing begin!]
But I had to apologise and eat a little crow.
Anyway, more important to most of you, I finished an object last week.
Only... in keeping with the O&F theme,†† I completely forgot to take pictures.
It was this‡‡:
still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog
still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog
Made from this§§:
still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog
still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog
It even had a clever name¶¶: Do Two Deca Ten Hedron Three-Dimensional Geometric Shape, because the first group of people who asked what it was, I said, "It's a dodecahedron" and they said, "A who-deck to what?"
So I said, "Do - two. Deca - ten. Hedron - three-dimensional geometric shape. A ball with twelve points."
[SUMMARY: Clever.]
But no photos. Use your imagination. Keep in mind, it was fabulous.
still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog
*************
I did not best 35 push ups in my last set. I bested 20 push ups, which was the minimum, but I did not best 35 push ups.
Question: Why do you suppose I can do 20-15-15-13-21 in sets, but I can't do, say, 40 at a time when I'm doing the assessment portion?
*************
Isfarkand - Ormonde Jayne (edp)
Marin says: My first impression is pepper and lime leaves. The pepper fades and the lime is all but gone, leaving something like cedar and a powdery floral -- which may be iris. I keep going back to it -- I'm loving the cedar thing, and the floral is nearly gone, allowing a tiny bit of lime to peek through again. Cedar and lime... mmmmm.
OJ says: Super cool## in style, vibrant and sensual, Ormonde Jayne introduces her latest fragrance for men, Isfarkand. Beautifully balanced notes of lime,$ mandarin and bergamot all wrapped up in pink pepper,$ cedar,$ vetiver and moss. It's uncomplicated, yet dynamic and very addictive. Beware gentlemen, it could be habit forming. - Top: Lime, mandarin and bergamot - Heart: Pink Pepper - Base: Cedar, vetiver and moss
Hans says: That's different. I like it. It smells like... I want to say some sort of food. But maybe not. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I like it.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): In fact, I don't even know why we're driving. Let's walk!
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Total demo: replace the cabinets, paint the walls, add a dumbwaiter, parquetry on the floor...
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Hint: before this moment, there were no east Texas properties. There were no Texas properties of any kind.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Nothing I put in here quite illustrated the bizarre twists some people came up with for how we were going to sell this stuff. I only hope I came close enough that you can feel the WTF waves coming off your computer screen.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): So there.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): I have a vision of starting a line of t-shirts that say O&F and look like A&F. Wouldn't that be funny? I crack me up.
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): Berroco's Celestine Sox (free pattern), which also comes in a crochet version, in case you're Mary Kay.
§§FOOTNOTE (not two skeins, but one!): One skein of KPPPPPPPM in either the third colour from the right or the third colour from the left.
Why? What part of "feeble" did you not understand?
¶¶FOOTNOTE (and then there were giraffes): By my own definition.
##FOOTNOTE (pounding like the heart of a teenager in love): No wonder I like it! Super cool is my middle name.
$FOOTNOTE (on the money): Ha! Got one!
'Cause I'm old and feeble.
The old part I don't mind so much, but the feeble is driving me crazy.
[SUMMARY: Short trip, easy on the gas.†]
For instance, I have spent the last several days finalising the distillation and reporting of data from several regional offices, various warring factions and possibly outer space.
When I had done all I thought I could do, I sent it to the regional offices and warring factions for proofing and remodeling.‡
Which, of course, generated a variety of confusing and/or ill-conceived responses like, "Where's the Bunnyfart 2-12 well? I thought we were selling ALL the Bunnyfart wells as long as they were in east Texas,"§ and, "Did anyone check to see if the Kwisatz Haderach still wanted to play a quick game of craps with the potential buyers to see who gets the royalty interests?"¶
This morning, I came in to find emails with time stamps like "11:43 pm" and "4:37 am" talking about things that were fixed weeks ago.
Finally, I got a set of corrections back from one department.
And it was all done on old data sheets. Sheets I couldn't even suss out when they were done because there were wells from the LAST sale on them.
I sent a mildly snarky email saying, "I don't know where you got these. These are the wrong data sheets. Please look at the data sheets I sent you yesterday afternoon and confirm the numbers."
To which I got the reply, "I got the data sheets from you yesterday morning when I told you I was leaving on vacation and you agreed to send me what you had."
*ahem*
There are still wells from the last sale in that batch that I didn't send her yesterday.#
[SUMMARY: Let the finger-pointing begin!]
But I had to apologise and eat a little crow.
Anyway, more important to most of you, I finished an object last week.
Only... in keeping with the O&F theme,†† I completely forgot to take pictures.
It was this‡‡:
still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog
still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog
Made from this§§:
still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog
still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog
It even had a clever name¶¶: Do Two Deca Ten Hedron Three-Dimensional Geometric Shape, because the first group of people who asked what it was, I said, "It's a dodecahedron" and they said, "A who-deck to what?"
So I said, "Do - two. Deca - ten. Hedron - three-dimensional geometric shape. A ball with twelve points."
[SUMMARY: Clever.]
But no photos. Use your imagination. Keep in mind, it was fabulous.
still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog still a knitblog
*************
I did not best 35 push ups in my last set. I bested 20 push ups, which was the minimum, but I did not best 35 push ups.
Question: Why do you suppose I can do 20-15-15-13-21 in sets, but I can't do, say, 40 at a time when I'm doing the assessment portion?
*************
Isfarkand - Ormonde Jayne (edp)
Marin says: My first impression is pepper and lime leaves. The pepper fades and the lime is all but gone, leaving something like cedar and a powdery floral -- which may be iris. I keep going back to it -- I'm loving the cedar thing, and the floral is nearly gone, allowing a tiny bit of lime to peek through again. Cedar and lime... mmmmm.
OJ says: Super cool## in style, vibrant and sensual, Ormonde Jayne introduces her latest fragrance for men, Isfarkand. Beautifully balanced notes of lime,$ mandarin and bergamot all wrapped up in pink pepper,$ cedar,$ vetiver and moss. It's uncomplicated, yet dynamic and very addictive. Beware gentlemen, it could be habit forming. - Top: Lime, mandarin and bergamot - Heart: Pink Pepper - Base: Cedar, vetiver and moss
Hans says: That's different. I like it. It smells like... I want to say some sort of food. But maybe not. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I like it.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): In fact, I don't even know why we're driving. Let's walk!
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Total demo: replace the cabinets, paint the walls, add a dumbwaiter, parquetry on the floor...
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Hint: before this moment, there were no east Texas properties. There were no Texas properties of any kind.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Nothing I put in here quite illustrated the bizarre twists some people came up with for how we were going to sell this stuff. I only hope I came close enough that you can feel the WTF waves coming off your computer screen.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): So there.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): I have a vision of starting a line of t-shirts that say O&F and look like A&F. Wouldn't that be funny? I crack me up.
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): Berroco's Celestine Sox (free pattern), which also comes in a crochet version, in case you're Mary Kay.
§§FOOTNOTE (not two skeins, but one!): One skein of KPPPPPPPM in either the third colour from the right or the third colour from the left.
Why? What part of "feeble" did you not understand?
¶¶FOOTNOTE (and then there were giraffes): By my own definition.
##FOOTNOTE (pounding like the heart of a teenager in love): No wonder I like it! Super cool is my middle name.
$FOOTNOTE (on the money): Ha! Got one!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)