I'm a Believer

Can you believe I forgot some semi-useless Male Lady updates yesterday?†

1. I came out of my house some time last week and the For Sale sign was gone from the neighbours' house. That evil bitch (Male Lady, not the neighbour) has too much hold over me when a lack of sale sign makes my heart thud like a jackhammer thinking she may be the cause. Turns out they were just lowering the price again, but still.
2. The Boy joined Kelley and I at Favourite Bar before he went to play softball Friday evening. I got home and -- you guessed it -- a call from the Male Lady at 6:11, about twenty minutes before The Boy left.
3. Kelley and I had drinks at Favourite Bar Saturday night and the Male Lady came in and sat with us. Now, Favourite Bartender was working and Auxilliary Favourite Bartender was hanging out at the bar and both set up a bitch about Male Lady (who we've now dubbed "Wilda," as in "Wildebeest"). When she came in, though, everybody said hi, even HUGGED her.
   
   I maintain that if everybody acted like they hated her half as much as they actually do, she might stop sticking her beastly nose into our world.‡
   
   Personally, I give her an icy cold shoulder and don't ever talk to her.§ I think I've got it right.
   

[SUMMARY: Stalking makes the rockin' world go round.]

Can you believe I forgot to mention my great good fortune with the Fancy Feet book?¶

See, over at Nicomara's place, we were discussing Anna Zilboorg's sock book and, well, I had just leafed through it at an LYS that morning, so I called and asked them to hold it for me since the only available copies I found online were running upwards of $100 and I went to pick it up Saturday morning and it was $18.95 and they gave me a 30% discount because the paper dustjacket was torn and taped and so I got it for $13.27.

I may be jealous of the autographed copy, but I only paid $13.27 for mine.#

[SUMMARY: Or maybe socks make the rockin' world go 'round.]

Can you believe I forgot to tell you I ordered my own weight in yarn last week, probably in response to getting MY OWN MONEY back from the IRS?%

[SUMMARY: Or maybe just yarn makes the rockin' world go 'round.]

Can you believe I forgot to tell you about the shindig going on at the ever-popular Brown Palace for my billion-dollar-with-a-B clients and their closing?

p.s. -- they're picking up the tab on hotel rooms for the night along with dinner and cocktails.

Now... which of the boys should I invite?^

[SUMMARY: Sex. Sex makes the rockin' world go 'round.]

Can you believe I still continue to act shocked and surprised every time my brain goes haywire?


†FOOTNOTE (crossed): And can you believe I wrote this on Tuesday and accidentally hit "publish" instead of "save" and in the seven seconds the post was up, Sarah-with-a-Murphy commented on it?

‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): And if The Boy would, y'know, not SLEEP WITH HER and shit.

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): And I never, ever sleep with her.

¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): And further unwitting cashing in of Kharmic Green Stamps.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Nya-nya-ny-nya-nyah

%FOOTNOTE (percented): I'm thinking of selling tickets to my mailbox so the knitters can see the uber-bounty as it flows in over the next couple of weeks.

^FOOTNOTE (careted): Hint: I've already offered first rights of refusal to one, but I kinda expect him to turn me down, so I'm prioritising the rest of them. Do I put them in order of likelihood to say yes, mad bed skillz or wardrobe?