Monday, October 1, 2007

Feng Schwogie!

Hey! Any Mets fans out there?

OK, this post actually has nothing to do with Feng Shui, I'm just so taken by the Frontier animals and the new-ish ads with Jack... well, I'm in love. I plan to start interjecting, "Feng Schwogie!" almost as often as I do, "That is not my cow!"

Anyway, this post is *really* about paying it forward, apple style:

As Robin found out last week, people are oddly opinionated about apples.

And, oddly enough, Bag Lady Kathryn and I had an apple discussion, oh, a little over a week ago. Her bemoaning the fact that she can't always find the Pink Lady apples she prefers led to me extolling the virtues of Honeycrisp apples.

Once upon a time, maybe three years ago, I found Honeycrisp apples at Safeway. I bought a couple to try -- hey, with a name as evocative as "Honeycrisp," it seemed a good investment.

They were outstanding.

I went back and bought a whole bag and foisted a bunch on friends and family. My parents really liked them, so I thought I'd bring them a whole bag all their own.

Only there weren't any at the store.

Or a bunch of other stores.

King Soopers had never heard of them. Safeway shrugged and said it was a specialty item, available for a limited time only.

It seemed I would never see them again.

[SUMMARY: I don't have enough drama in my life, clearly. Starting to miss The Boy...]

Last fall, I went drift-boating with my father in Oregon. My aunt went on the trip too, and she and I travelled together. We took a field trip to the Harry & David compound in Medford.

Lo and behold!


I bought a half-dozen, lugged them home in my carry-on and savoured them.

[SUMMARY: Obsession can take a strange path.]

Fast-forward to 2007, last weekend.§

Somewhere in our breakfast-at-DJ's, alpaca-stalking travels Saturday morning, Kathryn mentioned her Pink Ladies. I, in turn, rhapsodised, soliloquised, damn near canonised the elusive Honeycrisp apple. When I left Kathryn Saturday afternoon, I headed to Whole Foods.

Yep. Right there in the produce section. There were Honeycrisp apples. Dozens of them. Hundreds.

It was like Christmas. Only with apples.

I decided to take one to Kathryn at Tuesday's installment of Drunken Knitting.

She was elated; I was gratified.

Then she told me a story:

She had brought an apple to the school where she works, thinking she'd probably have to go get something for lunch, but the apple could tide her over. A colleague had forgotten her apple... or her apple had been taken out of the fridge... I don't precisely remember.# The important part is that Kathryn gave the woman her Pink Lady.

It was an apple pay-forward.

Then I showed up that evening with the prize from her Kharmic Green Stamp catalog, the surprisingly straighforward balancing gift of an apple.

[SUMMARY: Kharmic Chain Letter? Will I get hundreds of apples within the next couple of weeks?]

But it doesn't end there, exactly.

Kathryn sent me an email Friday saying she'd shared the Honeycrisp I gave her with the awesome librarian at the school and he was impressed.

[SUMMARY: Apple dating? I should write a book...]

If Kathryn gets married because of that Honeycrisp, I want her to name her first-born after me.

Maybe the kid's middle name should be Honeycrisp.

Happy Monday.

FOOTNOTE (crossed): It's a Pratchett thing.

FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): And pears. That's a Harry & David thing. If you've had the Royal Rivieras, you know of what we speak.

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Not the very last weekend. Not like yesterday, when the Colts beat the Broncos. More like last last weekend when the Jaguars beat the Broncos.

FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Like the way I juxtaposed "damn" and "canonised"? I think I'm clever, but I'm probably just going to hell.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): The details aren't nearly as important as the message, people -- let's not get bogged down by facts.

Um... where's the knitting?

Don't worry, little campers. The knitting will be back when the camera battery is charged.

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