Feng Schwogie!

Hey! Any Mets fans out there?

OK, this post actually has nothing to do with Feng Shui, I'm just so taken by the Frontier animals and the new-ish ads with Jack... well, I'm in love. I plan to start interjecting, "Feng Schwogie!" almost as often as I do, "That is not my cow!"†

Anyway, this post is *really* about paying it forward, apple style:

As Robin found out last week, people are oddly opinionated about apples.‡

And, oddly enough, Bag Lady Kathryn and I had an apple discussion, oh, a little over a week ago. Her bemoaning the fact that she can't always find the Pink Lady apples she prefers led to me extolling the virtues of Honeycrisp apples.

Once upon a time, maybe three years ago, I found Honeycrisp apples at Safeway. I bought a couple to try -- hey, with a name as evocative as "Honeycrisp," it seemed a good investment.

They were outstanding.

I went back and bought a whole bag and foisted a bunch on friends and family. My parents really liked them, so I thought I'd bring them a whole bag all their own.

Only there weren't any at the store.

Or a bunch of other stores.

King Soopers had never heard of them. Safeway shrugged and said it was a specialty item, available for a limited time only.

It seemed I would never see them again.

[SUMMARY: I don't have enough drama in my life, clearly. Starting to miss The Boy...]

Last fall, I went drift-boating with my father in Oregon. My aunt went on the trip too, and she and I travelled together. We took a field trip to the Harry & David compound in Medford.

Lo and behold!

Honeycrisp!

I bought a half-dozen, lugged them home in my carry-on and savoured them.

[SUMMARY: Obsession can take a strange path.]

Fast-forward to 2007, last weekend.§

Somewhere in our breakfast-at-DJ's, alpaca-stalking travels Saturday morning, Kathryn mentioned her Pink Ladies. I, in turn, rhapsodised, soliloquised, damn near canonised¶ the elusive Honeycrisp apple. When I left Kathryn Saturday afternoon, I headed to Whole Foods.

Yep. Right there in the produce section. There were Honeycrisp apples. Dozens of them. Hundreds.

It was like Christmas. Only with apples.

I decided to take one to Kathryn at Tuesday's installment of Drunken Knitting.

She was elated; I was gratified.

Then she told me a story:

She had brought an apple to the school where she works, thinking she'd probably have to go get something for lunch, but the apple could tide her over. A colleague had forgotten her apple... or her apple had been taken out of the fridge... I don't precisely remember.# The important part is that Kathryn gave the woman her Pink Lady.

It was an apple pay-forward.

Then I showed up that evening with the prize from her Kharmic Green Stamp catalog, the surprisingly straighforward balancing gift of an apple.

[SUMMARY: Kharmic Chain Letter? Will I get hundreds of apples within the next couple of weeks?]

But it doesn't end there, exactly.

Kathryn sent me an email Friday saying she'd shared the Honeycrisp I gave her with the awesome librarian at the school and he was impressed.

[SUMMARY: Apple dating? I should write a book...]

If Kathryn gets married because of that Honeycrisp, I want her to name her first-born after me.

Maybe the kid's middle name should be Honeycrisp.

Happy Monday.


†FOOTNOTE (crossed): It's a Pratchett thing.

‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): And pears. That's a Harry & David thing. If you've had the Royal Rivieras, you know of what we speak.

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Not the very last weekend. Not like yesterday, when the Colts beat the Broncos. More like last last weekend when the Jaguars beat the Broncos.

¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Like the way I juxtaposed "damn" and "canonised"? I think I'm clever, but I'm probably just going to hell.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): The details aren't nearly as important as the message, people -- let's not get bogged down by facts.

Um... where's the knitting?

Don't worry, little campers. The knitting will be back when the camera battery is charged.