Wednesday, April 29, 2009


So the presentation went well, thanks for asking.

Sitting down and distilling my job into an accessible,§ concise, entertaining# three minutes was a marvelous exercise. I'd recommend it.

If you're unfocused, it can help weed out the chafe.††

If you're feeling small, it can highlight your talents your and many, many mad skillz.‡‡

If you're bored, it can give you something to do.§§

I bet you could do it for any project¶¶ or aspect of your life.##

This has been a public service blogpost. If this had been an actual blogpost, there would have been considerably more fibre, fragrance and dick jokes. We now return you to your regularly-scheduled blog, already in progress.

FOOTNOTE (crossed): Some of you did. I'm not making this up.

FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): The portion of it this client uses, in any case.

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): No big words, many analogies, Bob the Builder references...

FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): You'd never guess it here, but I am a master of concision. My high school drama teacher told me so after I distilled "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" into four relatively brief sentences without missing a single important point.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Because I almost always think I'm funny.

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Mix metaphors much?

‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): Because mad skillz are what you guys are all about.

§§FOOTNOTE (waves of boredom crashing on the shores of mental ingenuity): This may replace the Tom Sawyer Funeral Game as my favourite waiting-at-the-DMV activity.

¶¶FOOTNOTE (bonk bonk): Baby Surprise Jacket, I'm looking at you.

##FOOTNOTE (pounding to the rhythm of the motivational speaker): a VAN, down by the RIVER...

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