Wednesday, May 30, 2007

All Hail!

Yeah, I think I'm funny.

So we had some weather here in Denverish yesterday. And I feel this is my opportunity to really anger the various gods and become smote and probably change the course of weather for the entire country.

I have been making predictions on the weather since last spring. So far, I've been just about dead on. People who've heard me in all my weather goddess sturm und drangwould tell you I've been pretty accurate.

[SUMMARY: Have I never heard the word "hubris"?]

I figure the real test is to make a big ol' public production of it.

So here it is: In general, it's going to be a wild summer here in Denverish. It will be wetter than last summer, with storms almost every afternoon from mid- to late-June through July. Maybe before and beyond, but those hot central summer days are surely going to be like the summers of my childhood when all I wanted to do was swim all day and we got lighteninged out every fucking afternoon.

There will be an abnormal amount of thunderstorms and hailstorms and we can expect to see tornadoes as far inland as Aurora.

It will totally suck to be in Holyoke.^

I'm not sure about the fall and winter yet, but I'm going to re-iterate last year's prediction and go for a mid- to late-September snow of the sopping wet type that crashes trees and power lines and makes the newscasters go frowny-faced as they report on the number of little old ladies who have been without electricity for days.

If it makes y'all feel any better, we're going to have an absolutely stunning autumn this year because of all the water in the spring and summer.

Honestly, I know almost nothing about the weather.

[SUMMARY: Heh. I'm still laughing at "sturm und drang." I'm turning into Bob the Jackass. I should have said "Ah."]

I see cycles like that little kid in the Bruce Willis movie saw dead people. Of course, you can laugh§ because I'm talking 20-year hard cycles and 10-year interim cycles and my sample is running on 30 years now so I'm just blowing smoke.

Really, really accurate smoke.

And now that I've said this -- here, in this very public venue, where all manner of mouse, man and god can surf it -- it will be hot and dry and nothing extreme in the slightest because that's how Murphy$ plays me each and every fucking time.

Besides, I used up all my Kharmic Green Stamps yesterday on a $4 parking discount.#

But the weather was cool and extreme yesterday and fit into my grand prediction nicely.

Here are some pictures I took, for I am a blogdork with a new camera:

From the 10th storey of Writer's Square, south

From the 10th storey of Writer's Square, north

Hail to the left of me...

...hail to the right.

Let's zoom in for a closer look at that hail, shall we?

Now I get all artsy and stuff.

Oh, hail... my umbrella!

Patio at Cheesecake Factory from 10th storey

Brimfire and hailstones - 16th Street Mall from 10th storey

Damnit, Jim! This is a knitblog, not the Weather Channel!

[SUMMARY: Enough talking about the weather already! Sheesh, hasn't our relationship progressed enough that we don't have to talk about the weather?]

SNSNBNW was last night, but it didn't get too crazy. How crazy could it possibly get... five women (two redheads), a bunch of beer, some pointy sticks, ranch dressing and string?

Yeah, I know. If we took pictures, we could probably make a fortune in internet p0rn.

Red did bring the horrifying pink fuzzy synthetic stuff (don't ask so many questions -- go look it up) and knit it into some truly festive mary jane slippers for her wayward sister.

[late edit: That's Wayward Sister. Carry on. But not a snake.]

And I did an impression of myself trying to count to four, which would probably have been funnier if it wasn't so tragic.

Other than that (and the ranch dressing thing), pretty tame.

I got some yarn in the mail yesterday from Rabbitch's shop.

The colour is actually pretty good on my monitor... it runs from a deep, red orange, right through sunset into dreamsicle. I'm going to make socks like this for Bronco season.%

A cameo appearance by Cat for Scale, who seems to be very suspicious of sock yarn in general, but this orange stuff in particular. He actually circled it long enough for me to get about ten pictures of his orange-sock-yarn paranoia.

Kelley's birthday today. We're hitting up Vita (New Bar) before meeting the boys (yes, The Boy too) at Three Dogs. Maybe that will generate some interesting blogfodder.

Keep y'all's fingers crossed, K?

FOOTNOTE (crossed): Except the proclamation that Denverish would have a very wet, very heavy early fall snow in 2006. That wasn't right.

FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): TELL me that's not funny. And clever.

^FOOTNOTE (careted): I know a whole office of people who might want to remind me it pretty much sucks to be in Holyoke anyway, but I'm talking river-of-blood-plague-of-locusts-rain-of-frogs-your-Honda-has-holes-in-the-hood kinda sucks.

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): And I would expect no less of you. You're too smart to take me seriously.

FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): I can't count to four; you do the math.

$FOOTNOTE (moneyed): Murphy the Bastard Lawmaker, not Murphy the Darling Doggy. In case you (and Sarah) haven't noticed, I have a little long-distance puppy-crush on Murphy the Doggy.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): If I get into the parking garage by 8:30 in the morning and park in the 20 spaces allotted to early bird parking, it's only $8 to park. Otherwise it's $12. When I arrived -- LITERALLY -- at 8:31, the ticket dispenser wasn't working, so I parked in the early bird anyway and they gave me my early bird ticket (which I probably didn't deserve, but, hey -- ONE minute!) so I only had to pay the $8. Yep. All those Kharmic Green Stamps I was saving for a pony have been delegated to $4 off parking.

%FOOTNOTE (percented): I can't *tell* you how proud my mom would be.

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