Tuesday, April 15, 2008

In Which I Find Religion

"God, I have to admit, I've really felt alone a lot. I've felt like you didn't exist. I just didn't believe in you for awhile."

She said, "Do you remember that day you were walking on the beach?"

I said, "Yeah."

"Well, I was there."

"But there was just one set of footprints."

She said, "I was on your back."

"I thought I felt heavy that day. I thought it was water retention."

"No," she said, "Know that when you are bloated, I am there."

--Ellen Degeneres
the funny thing is...

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