Thief!

Oh, yes. I'm caught stealing.

Something going on behind the scenes at Chez Pollyanna has me giggly and *needing* to do a quick post about it. I need to because 1) it's funny, at least to me,† and 2) I get to mention sex, which always makes me happy.‡

It starts with Lyda suggesting the members of our Brainless Twelvehood Club§ will be the last survivors of the Zombie Apocalypse, at which time, we will have free reign over the stashes of the world. Because, y'know... zombies don't knit.

Unless, as Anna-Liza pointed out, they still have flesh on their fingers, in which case they can probably still knit,¶ in which case I suppose we'd have to fight for our right to alpaca.#

[SUMMARY: We put too much thought into zombies.]

Oh, how I wish I had the l33t skillz to develop a video game, one where zombies with fleshy fingertips still defend their yarn, where they are powerless to save their stash once that last bit of skin leaves their hands, where you can garrotte a zombie with a 32" circular needle, where you get bonus points for stealing live alpaca from brainless, brain-eating alpaca herders...

The more I think about it, the more excited I get. Maybe I could find someone with the right skill set to help fulfill this dream. I think of all the wicked little twists and turns I could apply, the graphic images, the long nights of creative interaction, the judicious application of technology and electronics, bending over backward to get the job done... if only I had a partner to fill in the blanks†† for me, a man of action to flesh out my dreams and fantasies.

Dear gods, I'm so frustrated right now.

[SUMMARY: Twelve!]

What!? I'm talking about computer games!


†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Because, as has been over-noted, almost everything is funny to me.

‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): If unnecessarily horny.

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Did you laugh at "horny" from the last footnote? Then you can join.

¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Albeit only in garter stitch rectangles. No-brain knitting... y'all know.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Yes, I'm singing the Beastie Boys right now. You should be too.

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Is that what the kids are calling it these days?