Monday, June 16, 2008

Chronogirl! Keeper of Time!

Guess what?

I have a new superpower. Under certain random circumstances, I can tell -- within minutes -- what time it is.

Without a watch. Or a visible clock.

It's uncanny.

Like Saturday. Saturday, Kelley and I went the the Highlands Street Fair. We went at 9:30, before they were technically open, to get full pick of the goodies and to avoid as much heat and crowd as possible.

Felice invited us for breakfast so we wandered the Fair until then.

After breakfast,§ a bigger group of us left Felice's for a turn around the Fair. We hit 32nd Street and Kelley immediately said, "It's too hot."

"I say we go directly to the Coral Room."

"That's what I'm talkin' 'bout, sister."

So we parked at the bar, had a couple of drinks, sang some Talib Kweli with the bartenders and Kelley said, "What time do you think it is?"

"It's probably 4:00. With any luck a little before four."

She pulled out her cell phone: 3:47.

"How did you do that?"

"Hidden talent."^

Last night, I turned out the lights at 10:30 and fell right to sleep. Then I woke up. I groaned and said,% "Jesus Christ, it feels like I've been asleep for days. It's probably only midnight."


So I peed# and went back to sleep.

And woke up again.

And said, "2:00."


And peed and went back to sleep.

And woke up.



Of course, at six-ish it all broke down as I calculated how many minutes I was going to doze, blinked and woke up with a hearty, "How the HELL was that a half-hour?"

We're still working out the kinks.

Which is a long way around telling you how tired and unmotivated I am today, though I know exactly how many hours before I can go home.

Six hours, thirty-eight minutes and counting...

Happy Monday!

FOOTNOTE (crossed): Full details not yet determined

FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Due to hangover conditions, Felice didn't start cooking until 11:00, so we didn't eat breakfast until noon. I'm not complaining. Breakfast at noon means you can have beer with your breakfast. Miss Manners says so.

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): And a couple of beers.

FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Oh, yes I do. I am never less white than when "Get By" comes on. Even if it's at The Gap.

^FOOTNOTE (careted): Do you suppose this could count as a miracle toward my inevitable sainthood?

%FOOTNOTE (percented): Out loud. Cat for Scale left the room. I was apparently keeping him awake.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): As has been widely advertised, I have to pee every single time I wake up, no matter how dehydrated I may be, no matter how many times I've already peed, no matter when the last time was I peed. I guess it's another superpower.

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