Monday, June 2, 2008

Sex in the City!

And I didn't even see the movie this weekend.

Kelley's birthday was the 30th, so we inhabited the Coral Room Friday night. Guess who came?

The Boy, of course.

And that Hot Tamale Jason.

And The Waiter.

And one of the married men from Dave's birthday who brought me to the term "flirtopause."

So I had stuff to do.§

[SUMMARY: I need my stuff to spread out more. Stop laughing.]

Let's see... long story short:

I was travelling light, just my skully wristlet with my keys, cards and cash. Kelley got very worried about my stuff just being out there, so she put it in her purse for safekeeping.%

Jason, The Boy and Kelley met when they worked at KMart, like, 15 years ago. Friday night, The Boy called Joel, also a former co-worker# and Joel actually showed up.††

Now, Jason had just wandered outside to sit by himself and I was going to casually wander to him‡‡ when The Waiter caught me and wanted to talk about how we never see each other anymore. And then Mr. Flirtopause wanted to chat. Then Jason came in to get another beer and I latched onto him with a coy little, "Hey, I was just going to come out and see if you wanted company."

"You can come out and keep me company."

"You looked kinda solitary sitting out there."

"I can be pretty solitary."

[light bulb]

"If you want to just be solitary, I'll let you be solitary."

"Relax. Come sit."

I started to sit opposite him at the table and he said, "No, not so far. Come sit next to me."

We sat for all of two minutes when Joel bounced outside to visit the old days with Jason. After a few minutes, everybody else followed. Because all I could do was sit there and nod and pretend to be amused when someone tossed out the seventh version of, "Remember that time Big Brandon caught that chick in the garden department...?"§§

So I went in and talked to The Waiter. And Mr. Flirtopause. And looked up just in time to see Kelley roaring out of the parking lot with Ed¶¶ in her car.

"She's coming back, right? She just went to take Ed home?"

"I don't think so. She didn't say anything. She just left."


[SUMMARY: I missed the boat on "long story short" about 200 words ago.]

So The Boy's sister## offered to take me to Kelley's place††† to wait for my keys, after which she'd bring me back to my car. But we beat Kelley home. And she didn't show up and didn't show up and then Joel showed up with a couple of his friends and we took the party indoors for noise control only they went out for a smoke and Kelley's car was there and The Boy pounded on her front door and I pounded on her back door‡‡‡ but she didn't answer and meanwhile The Boy's sister was calling her and she didn't answer and Joel and his friends were getting stoned and drunker and I was getting tired and The Boy said, "You can just crash here and get your keys in the morning" and was that enough foreshadowing for you? and The Boy's sister whispered something to him and he said, "No, Marin's all about Jason," and then he looked at me and said, "You're all about Jason," and I couldn't disagree and I called the Coral Room to promise I would come in and pay my tab as soon as I had money again and at 2:30 I couldn't stay up any more so I crashed in The Boy's bed and told him I'd go to the couch when he came to bed only when he came to bed at 4:00 Joel was passed out on the couch so I couldn't go sleep on the couch.

[SUMMARY: How old are we?]

Now I'm going to slow down, 'cause this is the good part.

He climbed in bed an just laid§§§ down for awhile, then spooned up on me and put an arm around me.

"How come we don't do this more often?"

I flipped. Literally. All the way over and looked him straight in the eye and said, "WHAT?!?"

"How come we don't do this more often?"



"No... seriously? After you broke up with me? OK, OK... the answer to your question: we don't do this more often because you don't want to."

And then there was a little fooling around. And then there was more spooning.

[SUMMARY: I'm only campaigning for saint... I'm not there yet.]

And then we picked the conversation up where we left off:

"But I like this. You next to me feels good. We should do this more often."

"We'll talk about it later. Get some sleep."

And Kelley brought my keys and stuff around 8:00 and took me to my car and I spent Saturday with my favourite cousin.

Then Sunday I broke up with the poor little date¶¶¶ and celebrated Brother's and Father's birthdays### The Boy is going to see Rush at Red Rocks with me Thursday and you can just call me Carrie Bradshaw.

[SUMMARY: Not the body or the cachet, but the Big and Aidan and Burger and all.]

With less fabulous shoes.

FOOTNOTE (crossed): 40th

FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Not like that. Well, yes like that, but later. Guess who showed up at the Coral Room?

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): I can hear you giggling out there...

FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): -er. Shorter.

%FOOTNOTE (percented): Ooooh... how clumsy is my foreshadowing?

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): And a guy with no filters, no tact and no social grace at all.

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Much to everyone's surprise.

‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): Smooth as cactus.

§§FOOTNOTE (circular logic): Followed by peals of laughter and objectless sentence fragments:

"With the..."

"And then she..."

"And the SEAHORSE!!!"

*wild laughter*

¶¶FOOTNOTE (double-fisting those long necks): Ed was h a m m e r e d.

##FOOTNOTE (pounded like a two-door apartment): I finally met the sister. I know that sounds weird when I'm talking about a guy I've technically been separated from (if you can call the passive termination of a two month thing "separated") for two years... but it seems to be a point of curiosity for a lot of people who know us that I never met his sister.

†††FOOTNOTE (my cross to bear... or have I already done that one?): Also The Boy's place and Ed's place. Wait... was that more bumbling foreshadowing?

‡‡‡FOOTNOTE (sidetracked): Quit it. We stopped being dirty two paragraphs ago. Besides, now you're talking three-way and I'm just not sure I'm cut out for that.

§§§FOOTNOTE (too confusing for words. Let me do this interpretive dance...): What a great choice of words. But, really... lay is transitive, but what's the past tense of lie? The dictionary shows lay, lain, lying... grammar is not my friend this morning.

¶¶¶FOOTNOTE (like clubbing baby seals): 1) The hook-up and the break-up had nothing to do with each other; I was going to cut the poor little date free Sunday before I ever saw The Boy this weekend, and 2) this was the first time I've *ever* broken up with someone that didn't involve a fight. Oh, guys have broken up with me before, but I've never been the one to call that shot. It was weird and uncomfortable and I'd rather not do it again if I can help it.

###FOOTNOTE (oh, the pounding we're taking here in the footnotes today): Flip-flops with bottle openers in the bottom may be the coolest invention *ever*.

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