I have wrestled with my conscience all week.†
Shall I confess or take this shame to my grave,‡ jeopardising all my good and saintly works?§
You know the answer with the asking of the question.
[SUMMARY: Spiritual talk apparently requires stuffy speech patterns.]
Last Friday, when I was snowed in,% I...
I do feel better. Does this require penance?¶
[SUMMARY: Theology slippery, sainthood in danger...]
The movie was better than the book,# if that makes anyone feel any better.††
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): I can usually take my conscience nine falls out of ten.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): *gaspROSEBUD!gasp*
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Like... cake. And... knitting. And... um... Lent. Oh! And not burning the Post Office of the Damned to the ground.
%FOOTNOTE (percented): Technically, I was not snowed in anymore by about 10:00 Friday morning, but I see no reason for that to influence this story.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Like maybe watching it again?
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): This is known in the business as "damning with faint praise."
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): I feel better. Thank you.