Wednesday, March 12, 2008



First, can you believe I wasn't stricken by lighting or smitten by a wandering priest yesterday?

No, my friends, I'm still standing. Or, in the interest of full disclosure and complete honesty, sitting.%

Hey, I'm still going for sainthood§ and Carol mentioned "thought, word and deed," or some such nonsense, then Sarah chimed in to clarify how the title saint basically means the PTB at The Church ar 99% positive that person is in heaven,@ and it started to feel complicated, then I decided to start my own church, under which I can be a saint if I damn well please.$

[SUMMARY: So many rules, so little patience.]

I *have* been knitting, though you may not have guessed.

I've been knitting a little on the Noro socks. I've been knitting¶ on the Father's Day socks for Brother. They don't really look that much different than the last time you saw them... just a little longer.

Then there's Mr. Greenjeans:

Mr. Greenjeans even has CABLES now.#

And I showed you the silk for this:

Now it looks like it will be something someday.

The photography still doesn't do the red justice. It's beautifuller than you can imagine looking at it here. And, for those of you interested in such technical details, the Harmony needles totally rock silk. It's the perfect marriage of slidey and grippy.††

When I found out I was invited to the baby shower, mere days before the event, I decided to make a baby blanket because I am insane and believe I have superpowers. But I started the blanket Saturday the 1st and have only knitted two rounds since the shower on the 2nd and here it is, nearly done:

OK, so it mostly looks like a jellyfish,^ and when Mary pulled the unfinished product out of the bag,‡‡ the look on her face didn't say, "Oh, goodness, what a special and lovely blanket!" It said, "If that's the hat that fits the thing that comes out of me, I'm keeping my legs crossed. Forever, if necessary."

*ahem* No need to note I haven't done a significant thing since the shower.

[SUMMARY: I work best on a deadline.]

The brightest new star in my demented constellation is this:

Guess what that is. Go on... guess.






Give up?

Four socks at once.

See, the Tallest, Hairiest Nephew expressed a desire for socks. I decided Easter would be a good occasion, but I feel I should probably make socks for Dr. Doom as well. I can do two socks at once, why not four?

And that's only sort of a rhetorical question. I asked myself that question yesterday then spent a certain amount of spare time drawing diagrams, doing maths§§ and doing those hand gestures and squints to indicate I was thinking in three-dimensional space.

I had to rip the first try out because Tallest Hairiest Nephew's socks start with 18 stitches and Dr. Doom's socks start with 16 stitches.¶¶ I got them all mixed up and was adding random stitches here and there.

We're OK now. I'm going to have to keep a close eye on the toes.

But once I hit the feet, it'll be smooth sailing.

Until I get to the heels.

But then the legs will be all good again.

I can do it. Can so.

[SUMMARY: Cleopatra...]

Hey! Guess what! Still a knitblog!

Now with added saints!

FOOTNOTE (crossed): Though my near-perfect record of laughing uncontrollably in church -- sometimes during the Lord's Prayer -- should have long given lie to the idea of divine retribution.

FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Smote?

%FOOTNOTE (percented): It is a werk day, you know, so I'm exerting myself as little as possible.

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Back when Annie and I were both old and single (before she got married and ruined it for everyone. And by "everyone," I mean, "me"), we had a running collaborative tale about our pathetic childless, husbandless states. I was St. Marin of the One-Cup Coffee Maker and I was doomed... um, *destined*... to forever be "Aunt" to hundreds of unrelated children, the "extra woman" at dinner parties and a collector of cats and dolls. Trust me, it's not nearly as funny (nor tragic) now.

@FOOTNOTE (atted): And if y'all are interested, I highly recommend James Morrow's "Only Begotten Daughter," a book in which Jesus Christ has a 20th century step-sister and the only criterion for hell is that someone else thinks *your kind* goes there.

$FOOTNOTE (moneyed): I think I'm funny.

FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): You can't imagine how slowly the colourwork portion of the Arrrgyles is going. I knit and knit and knit for hours and only get two rounds done. Elves. I need elves. Y'know... like The Sockmaker and the Elves.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): And gets to do its photo shoot on a *very* clean carpet. Which is a tortured way to segueway into the explanation that I did take before and after photos of the carpet, but they don't look that much different. Trust me... IRL carpet is shiny. Photo carpet wouldn't impress you.

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): The little-known eighth and ninth dwarves.

‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): And not a pretty gift bag. I put it in a King Soopers bag and tied the handles in a knot. Mary didn't even know it was a gift; Tani had to nudge it toward her and say, "This is a present too." So you can imagine how that compounded the confused dismay she felt when she opened the homely little bag and found... a blue acrylic jellyfish.

^FOOTNOTE (careted): Cat for Scale was nowhere to be seen when this picture was taken (it was too early and he'd crawled under the covers for a little nap before his mid-early-morning snack). It's currently about 30" in diameter. I'm not even sure how big it SHOULD be to be an effective blanket that will still fit over a carseat (the benchmark mothers have hipped me to). I think I'm going for 36". It seems like a nice, round number. Or maybe 39" because it's a multiple of 13 and that appeals to my prickly dark side.

§§FOOTNOTE (tidal pools of jellyfish...): I know, I know, but I keep thinking someday I'll wake up and the maths thing will click... kinda like when I was playing the oboe.

¶¶FOOTNOTE (little stocking feet): Yes, thank you, it has occurred to me that Dr. Doom's 19-stitch feet and THN's 23-stitch feet will require slightly different jump-off points for the actual feet (to correspond with the slightly different ending points for the toes), and that it will take me slightly different lengths to get to the heels... I'll burn those bridges when I get to them.

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