Wednesday, August 6, 2008

I Ran Out of Footnote Symbols

We all knew it would happen someday.

At least we get to start fresh with a whole new post and a whole new set of symbols.

I do have a perfume review today. I have a perfume review every day for the forseeable future, because I have a perfume problem that has manifested itself as about seventy tiny little vials of perfumes sitting in a heart-shaped dish§ on my dresser.

And did I mention my obsessive nature?

[SUMMARY: OCD, light on the C.]

But first, for Anna-Liza, whose bat comment seemed to have enormous subtext and reminded me of this:

Need I point out there are two definitions of "depends" here that could make for a really funny joke if one was so inclined?

[SUMMARY: I think I'm funny in a really subtle way.]

Au Thè Blanc# - Bvlgari†† (edp)‡‡

Marin says: The initial whiff was very aldehyde (read: borerline Chanel No. 5), but it quickly calmed to very nearly nothing. Like, in five minutes. I kept snorking on my coffee§§ to clear my nose's palate¶¶ and try to catch something.

After a half-hour, it kinda blossomed, but the roll-out smells like the last legs of a strong aldehyde -- perfumey and chemical-sweet musk rather than any identifiable notes.

These tend to finish powdery, which is not my favourite thing, though never truly unpleasant.

The Perfumed Court says: A gorgeous floral-woody-musk fragrance with notes of artemisia leaves, ambrette, white pepper, musk$ and woody amber.

Hans says: You smell like my mom.

Some of you may be wondering, "How does Marin have hours and hours to devote to her blog every day. Doesn't she work? Doesn't she work in the oil business? Isn't she busy finding oil to lower my gas prices?## Hey! Where are my lower gas prices?"

A legitimate line of questioning. Allow me to explain.

I am working on yet another divestiture. To make a long story short, I must wait for the Billings††† office to provide me with the properties they wish to divest before I can adequately research the information I am to provide.

They are dragging their feet.‡‡‡

The deadline is looming.§§§

My blood pressure is so high my eyes are about to pop out of my head and run screaming around my desk.###

Thus, I blog.

FOOTNOTE (crossed): And, y'know... breaking up the vast verbiage to save you the eye-strain. I'm thoughtful that way.

FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): *ahem* Not to mention the eight or so full-size bottles I kept around before this obsession really took wing. Oh... and the back-up bottle of Sake (I'm pretty sure nothing smells sexier on me than Sake) I keep in the closet because I'm terrified they'll discontinue it soon since it was came out the same time the Memoirs of a Geisha movie and may be a sort of tie-in, thus limited of shelf life.

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): It's purple. Don't judge.

FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Yeah, I'm a joy as a girlfriend too.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Which I originally had on my spreadsheet (yes, I have a perfume spreadsheet) as Au de Blanc. Then I realised it was Au the Blanc, which I thought was odd, mixing English and French that way. Then I found out it was Au Thè Blanc, "white tea."

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Bvlgari does not acknowledge its fragrance department. They only cop to leather and accessories, so they don't get a say in their perfume review.

‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): Unless I note it's an edp, or unless it's BPAL (which I believe are all essential oil mixtures), it's an edt. In case it matters to you.

§§FOOTNOTE (waft): That's what they make you do in the candle store to clear your nose palate. It works better with beans than with brewed coffee.

¶¶FOOTNOTE (nose holes): Surely there's a special word for that.

$FOOTNOTE (on the money): Ha! Got one!

##FOOTNOTE (pounded like a head on a desk): Days like today, I feel I've driven the price of gas up by two cents a gallon just by being largely unproductive and getting paid for it.

†††FOOTNOTE (triple crossed like a heist movie): As in "Montana," not as in "invoices."

‡‡‡FOOTNOTE (train tracks to hell): read: Interacting like the three stooges on amphetamines but providing no useful assistance.

§§§FOOTNOTE (seriously, people, I'm getting dizzy): Two weeks. It was going to be almost impossible to do in three weeks. Now we have two weeks. OK, let's all take a deep breath (yes, you too -- I need all the deep breathing I can get now). It has been pointed out -- by me, by my supervisor, by my supervisor's supervisor -- that if they make it impossible, it *is* impossible and that's not my fault and Billings will just have to live with a later sale... but they're still going to get the info to us and I'm still going to try like hell to get it all done by the noted deadline. Did I mention Hans is in North Carolina for the rest of the week and the computers are going to be down for five days just before the deadline? I need an aspirin...

###FOOTNOTE: No real footnote... that's just the pounding of my head. Is it getting louder?

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