Heheheheheh.
I crack me up.
Anyway, as you can imagine, Kim is way ahead of me on the Bonk thing,† and sent this new message:
----- Original Message -----
From: Kim
To: Marin
Sent: Tuesday, May 19, 2009 9:08:28 AM
Subject: Am I Giving Away Too Much of the Plot?
"Men's colognes actually reduced vaginal blood flow."
Oddly, the fragrance at the top of the turn-on list: ". . . a mixture of cucumber and Good 'n' Plenty candy."
Kim --- serving up comedy softballs for, oh, several months now.
*************
Dudes, it's... a BOOK with... PERFUME and... and... and... SEX and SCIENCE... and... they... it's... FUNNY.
[SUMMARY: Add a little knitting and it's like my own personal Nirvana.]
It just don't get any better than this.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH
Showing posts with label Perfume Problem. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Perfume Problem. Show all posts
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Also?
I've found a new avocation: Twitter Gangster.†
Thanks to Kathryn in Nathan's comments,% I want to embody the pure essence of Twitter femininity.
The critics rave‡:
"...any more "callings" and you might have to up the meds."§
Nathan Branch
"Yeah. You need another hobby."¶
Brother
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): I'm pretty sure it will hardly interfere with my knitting at all.
%FOOTNOTE (percented): Not to be confused with Kathryn from my comments, who makes skull plates and works in the tea mines alongside her brave husband and whom I used to call Sister Katrina in high school when she still had a crush on Boy George.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): And rant. And shake their heads.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Lent is almost over and this is what Grey Goose is for.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): He was talking about something else, but I'm pretty sure he'd say the same thing now. Is it really quoting out of context if you apply the quote correctly elsewhere?
Thanks to Kathryn in Nathan's comments,% I want to embody the pure essence of Twitter femininity.
The critics rave‡:
"...any more "callings" and you might have to up the meds."§
Nathan Branch
"Yeah. You need another hobby."¶
Brother
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): I'm pretty sure it will hardly interfere with my knitting at all.
%FOOTNOTE (percented): Not to be confused with Kathryn from my comments, who makes skull plates and works in the tea mines alongside her brave husband and whom I used to call Sister Katrina in high school when she still had a crush on Boy George.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): And rant. And shake their heads.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Lent is almost over and this is what Grey Goose is for.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): He was talking about something else, but I'm pretty sure he'd say the same thing now. Is it really quoting out of context if you apply the quote correctly elsewhere?
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Revelation!
Poor Secret Pal. Her package wasn't even late or missing and she got caught up in the package madness. So here it is, at least a week later and she's finally getting the credit due her.
It doesn't mean I'm any less grateful, just that camera thing. And the chronology thing.
[SUMMARY: Sophie's Choice for Dummies.]
Secret Pal's name is Stacey.^ She didn't tell me which blog is hers,† but I'll be sure to let you know as soon as I do.
So let's dig in and see what I've got, shall we?
Yarn, of course. Sock yarn, purple yarn, sometimes at the same time:
There's enough of the Endless Summer for at least a tank or a shell -- eight balls.‡
[SUMMARY: A good excuse for a trip to Ravelry.]
This, I don't know. I'm thinking this is pet yarn.§
It's handspun by Stacey herself and I could look at it for hours, just watching the colours and the soft halo.
And petting it.
[SUMMARY: Things are apparently a little quiet at Chez Barfly.]
This, I kinda wanted to eat. Almost did. Had to check the label several times to be sure I couldn't.
See? It totally looks like chocolate. Trust me, it smells like chocolate too -- not the slightest soapy smell to the stuff.¶
[SUMMARY: In which I taste soap. *ahem*]
Allow me to make girl noises for a moment.#
*SQUEEEEE!*
It†† goes perfectly with my calaveras project bags Sylvia made me for my birthday last year.
[SUMMARY: Skulls!]
And, well, there was a little tub of lavender hand cream that I thought I got a picture of‡‡ but I don't see here, and a half-dozen perfumes from the Velvet Moon Bathery§§ that I know I didn't get a picture of because I took them straight to the office so I could play with them.
Suffice to say they have skulls and black ribbons on them and come in scents like "Raven Moon" and "Belladonna."
My gothy little soul is replete with shiny¶¶ blackness.
Thank you so much, Stacey! When you come up for air, let me know where your blog is.
Now I must to werk. These properties won't divest themselves.
[SUMMARY: Promise to miss me.]
XOXO
M
*************
Fracas (original EDT) and Fracas (current incarnation EDT) - Robert Piguet
Marin says%: This is an exercise in compare and contrast. I purposely ordered## both the original and the current Fracas to see what the difference is. And, frankly, if I could even tell a difference.@
Starting with Fracas in general, it's certainly primarily tuberose. With both the original and the current versions, the first blast is TUBEROSE. It only takes a moment, however, for the original and the current version to go their separate ways.
In my limited ability, it seems all the notes are as promised in each, just in different concentrations or perhaps different chemical versions.+
The original softened quickly into a less tuberose-dominant††† melange of white flowers, with a stronger beat of visceral, meaty smell of jasmine. The musk floated up and was noticable.
The current Fracas kept the tuberose front and centre and in the spotlight, but left the musk somewhere backstage straightening the curtains.‡‡‡
After an hour or so, the original had settled very close to my skin, only the musk escaping to flavour the air in my office. Snuffling my wrist, I found a pleasant, rounded§§§ tuberosey thing side-by-side with a soft, sandalwood-orange thing.
By then, the vetiver and the tuberose were having a loud argument on my left wrist, with the jasmine lending something dirty to the fray. And maybe, maybe just an occasional glimpse of an orange.
Maybe that's what the others were fighting over -- the last section of orange.
All whimsy and poetry aside, I'm delighted I could tell a difference between them. I mistakenly told Hans I thought the original Fracas was an early eighties scent -- I think I associate the big, brash part of tuberose with the eighties. Turns out it was introduced in 1948. Knowing all I know, I would say the 1948 version speaks to a softer era. The 2008 version is more rock 'n' roll, with the salty metal of vetiver~ being so prominent and the whole thing staying so loud.
But the flash and tang of tuberose says that the women who wore it in 1948 may have been a good suburban housewife or a well-behaved denizen of the typing pool, but she might have taken a dose of or Malcolm McLaren if it'd been offered to her.
Hans says: The left one is definitely more floral and the right is more... Body Shop. So I'm going to go with the right is more new age.
More floral [flapping one hand], Body Shop [flapping the other].¶¶¶
Robert Piguet says: Tuberose, seductive and lush, combines with Jasmine, Jonquil, Gardenia, Lily of the Valley and White Iris in a lavish profusion of fragile white flowers. A whisper of orange with a base of Sandalwood, Vetiver, and Musk.
^FOOTNOTE (careted): Or possibly Stacy. I forgot to bring the card with me and now I'm even more of a dork than usual.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): *hint hint*
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Join me in a moment of twelve, won't you?
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Though I really want to see how it knits up. How dopey would it be to knit a big swatch, frog it, then continue to pet the yarn?
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): It really should have a warning label like they put on the silica gel in electronics packaging that says, "This is NOT candy. Do NOT eat this." For, y'know... um... children.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): If you make girl noises over skulls, it's totally punk. Not at all My Little Pony.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): It comes from the Artsy Athina Etsy shop.
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): It looks like a little, purple hat box, if that helps.
§§FOOTNOTE (a tangled web): Which I like to think of as Bathory.
¶¶FOOTNOTE (goth clubs... hehehe): "Shiny" is so un-goth.
%FOOTNOTE (percented): It looks like Marin likes to hear herself talk. A lot.
##FOOTNOTE (pounding of his hideous heart! wait... that was Tuesday): Because what kind of scatterbrain would *accidentally* order two of the same thing? Which I didn't. This time.
@FOOTNOTE (atted): I was terrified I wouldn't. Then what kind of review would this be? A much less wordy review, that's what.
+FOOTNOTE (plussed): As per our little perfume education session a couple of weeks ago when I nearly reviewed one of the Fracases (Fracasi?) on its own.
†††FOOTNOTE (whip whip whip): Can't you just see the little tuberose in a PVC corset and stiletto heels wielding a tiny, tuberose-sized whip?
‡‡‡FOOTNOTE (to keep me on track): A very important supporting role, as I can attest from my first year of high school theatre. At least that's what they kept telling me.
§§§FOOTNOTE (ribbony... like this): Because tuberose is not round. No, no, no. Tuberose is like lightning, with spikes and flashes and ribbons -- not sharp, mind you, but definitely not round.
~FOOTNOTE (tilded. I don't think I've ever used a tilde before): And we're back to whimsy.
¶¶¶FOOTNOTE (past present and future): He was disappointed he didn't get them right, but to his credit, he didn't get to smell the rock 'n' roll dry-down.
It doesn't mean I'm any less grateful, just that camera thing. And the chronology thing.
[SUMMARY: Sophie's Choice for Dummies.]
Secret Pal's name is Stacey.^ She didn't tell me which blog is hers,† but I'll be sure to let you know as soon as I do.
So let's dig in and see what I've got, shall we?
Yarn, of course. Sock yarn, purple yarn, sometimes at the same time:
There's enough of the Endless Summer for at least a tank or a shell -- eight balls.‡
[SUMMARY: A good excuse for a trip to Ravelry.]
This, I don't know. I'm thinking this is pet yarn.§
It's handspun by Stacey herself and I could look at it for hours, just watching the colours and the soft halo.
And petting it.
[SUMMARY: Things are apparently a little quiet at Chez Barfly.]
This, I kinda wanted to eat. Almost did. Had to check the label several times to be sure I couldn't.
See? It totally looks like chocolate. Trust me, it smells like chocolate too -- not the slightest soapy smell to the stuff.¶
[SUMMARY: In which I taste soap. *ahem*]
Allow me to make girl noises for a moment.#
*SQUEEEEE!*
It†† goes perfectly with my calaveras project bags Sylvia made me for my birthday last year.
[SUMMARY: Skulls!]
And, well, there was a little tub of lavender hand cream that I thought I got a picture of‡‡ but I don't see here, and a half-dozen perfumes from the Velvet Moon Bathery§§ that I know I didn't get a picture of because I took them straight to the office so I could play with them.
Suffice to say they have skulls and black ribbons on them and come in scents like "Raven Moon" and "Belladonna."
My gothy little soul is replete with shiny¶¶ blackness.
Thank you so much, Stacey! When you come up for air, let me know where your blog is.
Now I must to werk. These properties won't divest themselves.
[SUMMARY: Promise to miss me.]
XOXO
M
*************
Fracas (original EDT) and Fracas (current incarnation EDT) - Robert Piguet
Marin says%: This is an exercise in compare and contrast. I purposely ordered## both the original and the current Fracas to see what the difference is. And, frankly, if I could even tell a difference.@
Starting with Fracas in general, it's certainly primarily tuberose. With both the original and the current versions, the first blast is TUBEROSE. It only takes a moment, however, for the original and the current version to go their separate ways.
In my limited ability, it seems all the notes are as promised in each, just in different concentrations or perhaps different chemical versions.+
The original softened quickly into a less tuberose-dominant††† melange of white flowers, with a stronger beat of visceral, meaty smell of jasmine. The musk floated up and was noticable.
The current Fracas kept the tuberose front and centre and in the spotlight, but left the musk somewhere backstage straightening the curtains.‡‡‡
After an hour or so, the original had settled very close to my skin, only the musk escaping to flavour the air in my office. Snuffling my wrist, I found a pleasant, rounded§§§ tuberosey thing side-by-side with a soft, sandalwood-orange thing.
By then, the vetiver and the tuberose were having a loud argument on my left wrist, with the jasmine lending something dirty to the fray. And maybe, maybe just an occasional glimpse of an orange.
Maybe that's what the others were fighting over -- the last section of orange.
All whimsy and poetry aside, I'm delighted I could tell a difference between them. I mistakenly told Hans I thought the original Fracas was an early eighties scent -- I think I associate the big, brash part of tuberose with the eighties. Turns out it was introduced in 1948. Knowing all I know, I would say the 1948 version speaks to a softer era. The 2008 version is more rock 'n' roll, with the salty metal of vetiver~ being so prominent and the whole thing staying so loud.
But the flash and tang of tuberose says that the women who wore it in 1948 may have been a good suburban housewife or a well-behaved denizen of the typing pool, but she might have taken a dose of or Malcolm McLaren if it'd been offered to her.
Hans says: The left one is definitely more floral and the right is more... Body Shop. So I'm going to go with the right is more new age.
More floral [flapping one hand], Body Shop [flapping the other].¶¶¶
Robert Piguet says: Tuberose, seductive and lush, combines with Jasmine, Jonquil, Gardenia, Lily of the Valley and White Iris in a lavish profusion of fragile white flowers. A whisper of orange with a base of Sandalwood, Vetiver, and Musk.
^FOOTNOTE (careted): Or possibly Stacy. I forgot to bring the card with me and now I'm even more of a dork than usual.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): *hint hint*
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Join me in a moment of twelve, won't you?
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Though I really want to see how it knits up. How dopey would it be to knit a big swatch, frog it, then continue to pet the yarn?
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): It really should have a warning label like they put on the silica gel in electronics packaging that says, "This is NOT candy. Do NOT eat this." For, y'know... um... children.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): If you make girl noises over skulls, it's totally punk. Not at all My Little Pony.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): It comes from the Artsy Athina Etsy shop.
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): It looks like a little, purple hat box, if that helps.
§§FOOTNOTE (a tangled web): Which I like to think of as Bathory.
¶¶FOOTNOTE (goth clubs... hehehe): "Shiny" is so un-goth.
%FOOTNOTE (percented): It looks like Marin likes to hear herself talk. A lot.
##FOOTNOTE (pounding of his hideous heart! wait... that was Tuesday): Because what kind of scatterbrain would *accidentally* order two of the same thing? Which I didn't. This time.
@FOOTNOTE (atted): I was terrified I wouldn't. Then what kind of review would this be? A much less wordy review, that's what.
+FOOTNOTE (plussed): As per our little perfume education session a couple of weeks ago when I nearly reviewed one of the Fracases (Fracasi?) on its own.
†††FOOTNOTE (whip whip whip): Can't you just see the little tuberose in a PVC corset and stiletto heels wielding a tiny, tuberose-sized whip?
‡‡‡FOOTNOTE (to keep me on track): A very important supporting role, as I can attest from my first year of high school theatre. At least that's what they kept telling me.
§§§FOOTNOTE (ribbony... like this): Because tuberose is not round. No, no, no. Tuberose is like lightning, with spikes and flashes and ribbons -- not sharp, mind you, but definitely not round.
~FOOTNOTE (tilded. I don't think I've ever used a tilde before): And we're back to whimsy.
¶¶¶FOOTNOTE (past present and future): He was disappointed he didn't get them right, but to his credit, he didn't get to smell the rock 'n' roll dry-down.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
If You Have to Try This Hard
{via Selectism}
The product probably isn't all that good.
"collector's bottle and speaker"... Oh, my aching ear.
Friday, February 6, 2009
When Worlds Collide
{from Geekologie -- ya gotta hit the link.}
I think my geek life just ran over my chic life.
A line of three Star Trek-themed colognes. I am not making this up.
Monday, January 26, 2009
No Comment
I'll leave the commenting in your capable, filthy, twelve-year-old hands.
{via Now Smell This, with prompting from Juno}
HINT: the name of the perfume is Sexual Star from Victoria's Secret.
{via Now Smell This, with prompting from Juno}
HINT: the name of the perfume is Sexual Star from Victoria's Secret.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Long Time No
A B C D knitter?
L M N O knitter.
S M R a knitter.
C D yarn?
[SUMMARY: Paraphrasing.]
You'd think I wasn't diligently knitting every night and planning social events around Tuesday's Drunken Knitting and Saturday morning's Reveille Knitting.† You'd think I hadn't seen a new skein of yarn since the old year.
No, no. I understand. It's my fault and I take full responsibility. But despite all appearances, I've been busy as a beaver‡ behind the scenes.
F'rinstance, I'm almost through my stint as a Black Bunny Fibers yarn club member. Perhaps you remember the purple laceweight from a couple of months ago. Well, there have been two installments since then:
Black Bunny Chunky 100% Falkland wool in a vibrant turquoise semi-solid called Icicle.§ The above is a little over-exposed, but a surprisingly close representation of the colour in real life. If you average the vibrancy above with the variegation below, you've got a pretty good idea.
We had a white elephant exchange at one of the hundred and twelve office Christmas parties last month and I snagged Apollo here. My bust may not be as big as Franklin's,¶ but I think it's as artistically viable.#
I plan to knit stuff for it.††
Anyway... more yarn:
Isn't it pretty? Its colour name is Restoration. Look at those browns and purples and corals in with that nice New England red.
Nearly 500 yards of 75/25 superwash wool/polyamide. Appropriately enough, I'll probably use it for one of the patterns from Carol Jean's‡‡ latest publication.§§
[SUMMARY: It's Carol Sulcowski Thursday.]
Well, until we get to the FO part of the post.
Here is my sheep-like, follow-the-herd contribution to the Cult of the Stripe:
I call it the Chypre Scarf, in honour of my recent education¶¶ in both the ways## and pronunciations††† of the perfume category known as chypre.‡‡‡
Let's see... 1.5 skeins each Noro Silk Garden numbers 239 and 249 on Size 7 needles.
It still needs to be washed and blocked,§§§ but the knitting and weaving parts are all complete. When all is said and done, it will be 5.5 or 6 inches wide and a little over six feet long.
I couldn't be happier with the subtle, elegant flow of colours. I was paralysed by choice at the Noro rack at Sylvia's House of Fuzzy Crack, but Kris jumped in and helped me and she is my hero for the day.
[SUMMARY: I get by with a little help from my friends.]
I'm still working on the Purple Prose scarf,¶¶¶ started a Baby Surprise Jacket### and hope to begin a six-at-once sock-knitting experiment in the near future. I am also the volunteer for Sticks 'n' Stitches again this year.††††
[SUMMARY: Still a knitblog!]
Today's offering was brought to you by the letters DK and FO, and by the numbers 239, 249 and 7.
*************
Today's perfume review started out to be Fracas by Robert Piguet. Because my brain is about two hours behind the rest of me until after noon, I forgot I have two versions of this perfume (the original and the current), which I purposely got so I could do a compare-and-contrast review of it. Them. Whatever.
So I'm going to hold off, but I thought it might be an interesting educational bit for those who have never thought of it: many perfumes go through numerous changes in their lifetimes. A 1940 vintage Joy may be entirely different -- almost unrecognisable -- from its 2009 namesake.
This is due in part to availability and price of components, but also because some ingredients have been found to be allergens or toxins as time and science go by. Coming from the other end of that road, strictures have become tighter on what exactly constitutes a toxin or an allergen.
If Chanel No. 5 or Mitsouko just doesn't smell like it did when your mother wore it when you were a child, it's not necessarily just you -- it could actually be a whole new scent.
[SUMMARY: Time changes things, perfume is fleeting, I may find this way more interesting than you do.]
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Not its official name. That's what I call it because it gets me out of bed before noon on Saturday. Besides, it sounds like "Ravelry" and that's kinda cool.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Easy, Kim.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Or maybe Icicles. I don't know if Carol planned on one icicle or many icicles when she started that project.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Yeah, it's a link to Carol's blog, but her picture of Franklin's bust was readily available. And it's not totally inapt since we are talking about Carol and awful lot.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Without the pictures, that's a marvelously strange sentiment.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): I am just that kind of dork. When I was in the sixth grade, I knit a matching scarf and fin-cap set for a rubber shark. I have *always* been just that kind of dork.
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): Yes, I call her Carol Jean. She knows me mostly as the dink who couldn't press the right PayPal button, yet I feel comfortable enough to call her Carol Jean. Come to think of it, I'm not sure where I got the Jean. Hell, her middle initial may not even be J.
§§FOOTNOTE (back to Carol Jean): Thus:
¶¶FOOTNOTE (little graduates, all in a row): Thanks to a very patient Nathan, who didn't laugh directly at me even once.
##FOOTNOTE (pounding it into my thick skull): Like where it's Cyprus, not cypress. There's a big difference -- totally different directions.
†††FOOTNOTE (put a tack in that one): Sheep-er or Sheep-ra, as opposed to "chai-per," which is what I was saying prior.
1) Isn't that a nice pun for a knitted object?
2) Sheep-ra, Princess of Power! I've wanted to do that for ages.
‡‡‡FOOTNOTE (thinking outside the boxes): Usually with citrus and usually a woody note usually from oakmoss, plus amber and sometimes sandalwood. It's not hard science.
§§§FOOTNOTE (swish it in the water...): Just a little blocking. Mostly to disquise the lumpy bits on the edges from carrying new yarn up the side.
¶¶¶FOOTNOTE (one step forward, two steps back): I finished 12 of 16 repeats... then frogged back to 10. I finished 10 and 11 and am now gathering strength to go back to the beginning of 10 again. I've actually knit seven Purple Prose scarves. It's just that they didn't all make it out of childhood.
###FOOTNOTE (bam!bam!bam!): For not-evil future stepsister-in-law.
††††FOOTNOTE (dear gods, it's four): Day game on Saturday, January 31st. You don't have to knit or crochet, but it couldn't hurt. Get your tickets!
L M N O knitter.
S M R a knitter.
C D yarn?
[SUMMARY: Paraphrasing.]
You'd think I wasn't diligently knitting every night and planning social events around Tuesday's Drunken Knitting and Saturday morning's Reveille Knitting.† You'd think I hadn't seen a new skein of yarn since the old year.
No, no. I understand. It's my fault and I take full responsibility. But despite all appearances, I've been busy as a beaver‡ behind the scenes.
F'rinstance, I'm almost through my stint as a Black Bunny Fibers yarn club member. Perhaps you remember the purple laceweight from a couple of months ago. Well, there have been two installments since then:
Black Bunny Chunky 100% Falkland wool in a vibrant turquoise semi-solid called Icicle.§ The above is a little over-exposed, but a surprisingly close representation of the colour in real life. If you average the vibrancy above with the variegation below, you've got a pretty good idea.
We had a white elephant exchange at one of the hundred and twelve office Christmas parties last month and I snagged Apollo here. My bust may not be as big as Franklin's,¶ but I think it's as artistically viable.#
I plan to knit stuff for it.††
Anyway... more yarn:
Isn't it pretty? Its colour name is Restoration. Look at those browns and purples and corals in with that nice New England red.
Nearly 500 yards of 75/25 superwash wool/polyamide. Appropriately enough, I'll probably use it for one of the patterns from Carol Jean's‡‡ latest publication.§§
[SUMMARY: It's Carol Sulcowski Thursday.]
Well, until we get to the FO part of the post.
Here is my sheep-like, follow-the-herd contribution to the Cult of the Stripe:
I call it the Chypre Scarf, in honour of my recent education¶¶ in both the ways## and pronunciations††† of the perfume category known as chypre.‡‡‡
Let's see... 1.5 skeins each Noro Silk Garden numbers 239 and 249 on Size 7 needles.
It still needs to be washed and blocked,§§§ but the knitting and weaving parts are all complete. When all is said and done, it will be 5.5 or 6 inches wide and a little over six feet long.
I couldn't be happier with the subtle, elegant flow of colours. I was paralysed by choice at the Noro rack at Sylvia's House of Fuzzy Crack, but Kris jumped in and helped me and she is my hero for the day.
[SUMMARY: I get by with a little help from my friends.]
I'm still working on the Purple Prose scarf,¶¶¶ started a Baby Surprise Jacket### and hope to begin a six-at-once sock-knitting experiment in the near future. I am also the volunteer for Sticks 'n' Stitches again this year.††††
[SUMMARY: Still a knitblog!]
Today's offering was brought to you by the letters DK and FO, and by the numbers 239, 249 and 7.
*************
Today's perfume review started out to be Fracas by Robert Piguet. Because my brain is about two hours behind the rest of me until after noon, I forgot I have two versions of this perfume (the original and the current), which I purposely got so I could do a compare-and-contrast review of it. Them. Whatever.
So I'm going to hold off, but I thought it might be an interesting educational bit for those who have never thought of it: many perfumes go through numerous changes in their lifetimes. A 1940 vintage Joy may be entirely different -- almost unrecognisable -- from its 2009 namesake.
This is due in part to availability and price of components, but also because some ingredients have been found to be allergens or toxins as time and science go by. Coming from the other end of that road, strictures have become tighter on what exactly constitutes a toxin or an allergen.
If Chanel No. 5 or Mitsouko just doesn't smell like it did when your mother wore it when you were a child, it's not necessarily just you -- it could actually be a whole new scent.
[SUMMARY: Time changes things, perfume is fleeting, I may find this way more interesting than you do.]
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Not its official name. That's what I call it because it gets me out of bed before noon on Saturday. Besides, it sounds like "Ravelry" and that's kinda cool.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Easy, Kim.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Or maybe Icicles. I don't know if Carol planned on one icicle or many icicles when she started that project.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Yeah, it's a link to Carol's blog, but her picture of Franklin's bust was readily available. And it's not totally inapt since we are talking about Carol and awful lot.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Without the pictures, that's a marvelously strange sentiment.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): I am just that kind of dork. When I was in the sixth grade, I knit a matching scarf and fin-cap set for a rubber shark. I have *always* been just that kind of dork.
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): Yes, I call her Carol Jean. She knows me mostly as the dink who couldn't press the right PayPal button, yet I feel comfortable enough to call her Carol Jean. Come to think of it, I'm not sure where I got the Jean. Hell, her middle initial may not even be J.
§§FOOTNOTE (back to Carol Jean): Thus:
¶¶FOOTNOTE (little graduates, all in a row): Thanks to a very patient Nathan, who didn't laugh directly at me even once.
##FOOTNOTE (pounding it into my thick skull): Like where it's Cyprus, not cypress. There's a big difference -- totally different directions.
†††FOOTNOTE (put a tack in that one): Sheep-er or Sheep-ra, as opposed to "chai-per," which is what I was saying prior.
1) Isn't that a nice pun for a knitted object?
2) Sheep-ra, Princess of Power! I've wanted to do that for ages.
‡‡‡FOOTNOTE (thinking outside the boxes): Usually with citrus and usually a woody note usually from oakmoss, plus amber and sometimes sandalwood. It's not hard science.
§§§FOOTNOTE (swish it in the water...): Just a little blocking. Mostly to disquise the lumpy bits on the edges from carrying new yarn up the side.
¶¶¶FOOTNOTE (one step forward, two steps back): I finished 12 of 16 repeats... then frogged back to 10. I finished 10 and 11 and am now gathering strength to go back to the beginning of 10 again. I've actually knit seven Purple Prose scarves. It's just that they didn't all make it out of childhood.
###FOOTNOTE (bam!bam!bam!): For not-evil future stepsister-in-law.
††††FOOTNOTE (dear gods, it's four): Day game on Saturday, January 31st. You don't have to knit or crochet, but it couldn't hurt. Get your tickets!
Monday, January 5, 2009
First Meme in a Brave New Year
I *like* this one.
I am, as ever, aware that a meme is something of a cop-out, but this is one of the best I've seen, so I'm giving myself a pass.†
Besides, there's a month's worth of pictures in the camera and you'll get much better blogquality with pictures.‡
I would like to kick in two little non-meme notes before I head into the land of the highly directed:
1. Where did you begin 2008? Alone, in my chair.¶
2. What was your status by Valentines Day? Is this a sick joke? 41 years with no Valentine,@ and thanks for reminding me of that.
3. Were you in school anytime this year? Cheerfully, no.
4. Did you have to go to the hospital? Twice, both planned.#
5. Did you have any encounters with the police? Not even an expired plate incident.
6. Where did you go on vacation? The Lake. Just the Lake. It was a pretty staid year.
7. What did you purchase that was over $100? Addi Clicks, a carpet steamer... OK, in 2009 I'm getting a hooker†† or something.
8. Did you know anybody who got married? At least one.
9. Did you know anybody who passed away? Probably more than got married.‡‡
10. Did you move anywhere? No, and I will be buried in the basement of this house.
11. What sporting events did you attend? I somehow managed to miss seeing the Nuggets this year, but I saw the Broncos (bleah), Rockies and Avs. One trip to the Avs was even knitting-related.
12. What concerts/shows did you go to? Rush,§§ Queensryche,¶¶ Mitch Fatel,## Sisters of Mercy.††† Wow. I'm pretty sure I'm not NEARLY as stuck in the geekworld as I sound, given that list.
13. Describe your birthday. It was oddly good. Wholly unplanned, and surprisingly complete.
14. What is the ONE thing you thought you would not do, but did, in 2008? Go back to Stevens Point, WI.
15. What have been your favorite moments? The aforementioned birthday, making friends with my heroes, finding heroes in my friends.
16. Any new additions to your family? Not yet.‡‡‡
17. What was your best month? I'm sure it must've been June.
18. Who has been your best drinking buddy? Bag Lady Katharyn.
19. Made new friends? A few.
20. Favorite night out? The spelling bee.
21. Other than home, where did you spend most of your time? Work. Seriously... a hooker in 2009.
22. Have you lost any friends this year? One or two, depending on how you count it.
23. Change your hairstyle? I haven't cut it all year, so sort of. Does having no style count as a style?
24. Have any car accidents? Not one.
25. How old did you turn this year? 41. After 40, it's all cake.
26. Do you have a New Years resolution? I haven't decided yet. Cheesy waste of time or well-timed opportunity? Baby steps or massive overhaul?
27. Do anything embarrassing? Not really -- mostly because part of the Dork Credo says it's better to laugh with those people laughing at you than slink away with a red face.
28. Buy anything from eBay? The Lion that Saved Christmas.
29. Get married or divorced? Nope.
30. Get hit on? Several times. Yay, me!
31. Been snowboarding? No... and I wouldn't hold your breath on that one.§§§
32. Did you get sick this year? Once or twice.
33. Are you happy to see 2008 go? Ambivalent.
34. Been naughty or nice? All of the above.
35. What are you looking forward to most in 2009? Maybe that hooker...
Found at Ms. Kitty's blog.
*************
I learned something here today: I *really* need to get out more.
*************
Cruel Intentions -- By Killian
Marin says: I'm in love. I thought I loved Black Tourmaline. I thought I loved Black Cashmere.
That was clearly puppy love.
Not only does this flow through an amazing tale of citrus and woods, it stays for more than 24 hours, with the best last breath of any perfume I've ever tried. Where most fade into a similar sweetish vanilla-amber thing, this one is a slightly woody spicy glory that had me waking up to snork my wrists the morning after I first dabbed it on.
It reads as a sort of incense, but not smoky and not too churchy -- must be the wood resins. There's a touch of sandalwood, not enough to get to that headshop place, but just the right amount. Baby bear sandalwood.
This is rich and resinous without being overpowering, round and woody without being bland. It's classic and well-crafted by turns, without being passé. It's spicy without being foody.¶¶¶ It's a dozen things I love and a dozen things I think I don't like, but balanced so perfectly I love it all.
Did I mention I love it?
Hans *has* to smell this...
By Killan### says: A fragrance inspired by the warm, enfolding balsamic notes of Oud, a legendary wood said to be « worth more than its weight in gold ».
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): If I don't, who will?
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): That's my story and I'm sticking with it.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Of COURSE, I wouldn't want to brag about the source because it's only Nathan Branch, he of the impeccable taste, the way with words, the photographic genius, the cachet of one who gets Ormonde Jayne in 50ml sample size... *gushgushgush* Juno turned me on to him, Sylvia and Rosie need to read him.
%FOOTNOTE (percented): ...and may happily consider a bunny skull belt buckle.
^FOOTNOTE (careted): The variables being the number of posts and my ability to spontaneously reach that number in a given year.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Which is exactly where I started 2009. I think. Maybe I was at Patrick Carroll's... oh, hell. I just need to get out more.
@FOONOTE (atted): Also, I've never had a boyfriend at Christmas or my birthday and I've never had sex in November. Maybe I've just found the beginnings of a list of resolutions.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): As opposed to emergent ccare. I think I'd have to get out of the house to earn emergent care.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Gigolo? Is there a better word?
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): None of you is allowed to die this year. I need a year without fresh mourning.
§§FOOTNOTE (very twisted): Which just cemented my dorkified, never-ending love of Rush, so marvelous was the concert.
¶¶FOOTNOTE (clubs of the 80s): Still like them, vocals still good, Geoff Tate has no sense of humour about himself, his music, possibly anything else... and I found that a little sad.
##FOOTNOTE (pounding like that vein in my temple): Eh. I thought he'd be better. I still laughed. I did come to the conclusion comedians should refresh their material before they tour.
†††FOOTNOTE (how gothic): Who are unerringly awful in concert and, in fact, use so much fog that one is hard-pressed to swear there are even musicians on stage. Yet, I will go every time I get a chance because it always reminds me of how much I like the music. So I go home and listen to the good versions on my iPod. Besides, some day I'm actually going to see Andrew Eldritch. And for the record, I totally disagree with the linked review about one thing: It was NOT looped. The last time I was them saw almost undoubtedly pre-recorded, but this time it was too *off* to be recorded. Sometimes it sounded like the guitarist was playing one song while Andy was singing another, it was that off.
‡‡‡FOOTNOTE (the tracks of my tears -- have I already used that one?): Dad's engaged. There's a whole stepfamily waiting in the wings.
§§§FOOTNOTE (sssnowboarding): I tried snowboarding once. I took a group lesson with a bunch of six-year-olds with no gravity and no fear and they passed me off to another instructor for one-on-one training (when you're holding the first graders back, you should probably pack it in) and at one point, I actually sat in the snow and beat my little fists on its crust in frustration. At some point, the instructor asked if I was done for the day (it should be noted I was finally sort of getting it sort of) and I said, "yes." So he called Ski Patrol and they TOOK ME DOWN ON A STRETCHER. I considered being embarrassed, but I figured the people watching me hauled down behind a snowmobile didn't know I didn't break my leg, so I took to waving as I went by. Anyway, I'm not all that eager to try snowboarding again.
¶¶¶FOOTNOTE (a kiss or a kick -- either way, it's love): Which is important. A lot of spicy scents smell like cinnamon and cloves and, while I like those smells, I tend to think of them as "better as potpourri."
###FOOTNOTE (3D tictactoe): The By Killian site is cool -- it gives an actual list of ingredients. Check it out.
I am, as ever, aware that a meme is something of a cop-out, but this is one of the best I've seen, so I'm giving myself a pass.†
Besides, there's a month's worth of pictures in the camera and you'll get much better blogquality with pictures.‡
I would like to kick in two little non-meme notes before I head into the land of the highly directed:
- I am a *headline*. I wouldn't even mention it, of course,§ only I think you would really enjoy the photos in the post itself,% and
- Kim noticed I had the same number of posts in 2008 as 2007. I kinda hope I manage to land on that same number this year, though I fear some version of Heisenberg's Principle^ will taint the results.
1. Where did you begin 2008? Alone, in my chair.¶
2. What was your status by Valentines Day? Is this a sick joke? 41 years with no Valentine,@ and thanks for reminding me of that.
3. Were you in school anytime this year? Cheerfully, no.
4. Did you have to go to the hospital? Twice, both planned.#
5. Did you have any encounters with the police? Not even an expired plate incident.
6. Where did you go on vacation? The Lake. Just the Lake. It was a pretty staid year.
7. What did you purchase that was over $100? Addi Clicks, a carpet steamer... OK, in 2009 I'm getting a hooker†† or something.
8. Did you know anybody who got married? At least one.
9. Did you know anybody who passed away? Probably more than got married.‡‡
10. Did you move anywhere? No, and I will be buried in the basement of this house.
11. What sporting events did you attend? I somehow managed to miss seeing the Nuggets this year, but I saw the Broncos (bleah), Rockies and Avs. One trip to the Avs was even knitting-related.
12. What concerts/shows did you go to? Rush,§§ Queensryche,¶¶ Mitch Fatel,## Sisters of Mercy.††† Wow. I'm pretty sure I'm not NEARLY as stuck in the geekworld as I sound, given that list.
13. Describe your birthday. It was oddly good. Wholly unplanned, and surprisingly complete.
14. What is the ONE thing you thought you would not do, but did, in 2008? Go back to Stevens Point, WI.
15. What have been your favorite moments? The aforementioned birthday, making friends with my heroes, finding heroes in my friends.
16. Any new additions to your family? Not yet.‡‡‡
17. What was your best month? I'm sure it must've been June.
18. Who has been your best drinking buddy? Bag Lady Katharyn.
19. Made new friends? A few.
20. Favorite night out? The spelling bee.
21. Other than home, where did you spend most of your time? Work. Seriously... a hooker in 2009.
22. Have you lost any friends this year? One or two, depending on how you count it.
23. Change your hairstyle? I haven't cut it all year, so sort of. Does having no style count as a style?
24. Have any car accidents? Not one.
25. How old did you turn this year? 41. After 40, it's all cake.
26. Do you have a New Years resolution? I haven't decided yet. Cheesy waste of time or well-timed opportunity? Baby steps or massive overhaul?
27. Do anything embarrassing? Not really -- mostly because part of the Dork Credo says it's better to laugh with those people laughing at you than slink away with a red face.
28. Buy anything from eBay? The Lion that Saved Christmas.
29. Get married or divorced? Nope.
30. Get hit on? Several times. Yay, me!
31. Been snowboarding? No... and I wouldn't hold your breath on that one.§§§
32. Did you get sick this year? Once or twice.
33. Are you happy to see 2008 go? Ambivalent.
34. Been naughty or nice? All of the above.
35. What are you looking forward to most in 2009? Maybe that hooker...
Found at Ms. Kitty's blog.
*************
I learned something here today: I *really* need to get out more.
*************
Cruel Intentions -- By Killian
Marin says: I'm in love. I thought I loved Black Tourmaline. I thought I loved Black Cashmere.
That was clearly puppy love.
Not only does this flow through an amazing tale of citrus and woods, it stays for more than 24 hours, with the best last breath of any perfume I've ever tried. Where most fade into a similar sweetish vanilla-amber thing, this one is a slightly woody spicy glory that had me waking up to snork my wrists the morning after I first dabbed it on.
It reads as a sort of incense, but not smoky and not too churchy -- must be the wood resins. There's a touch of sandalwood, not enough to get to that headshop place, but just the right amount. Baby bear sandalwood.
This is rich and resinous without being overpowering, round and woody without being bland. It's classic and well-crafted by turns, without being passé. It's spicy without being foody.¶¶¶ It's a dozen things I love and a dozen things I think I don't like, but balanced so perfectly I love it all.
Did I mention I love it?
Hans *has* to smell this...
By Killan### says: A fragrance inspired by the warm, enfolding balsamic notes of Oud, a legendary wood said to be « worth more than its weight in gold ».
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): If I don't, who will?
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): That's my story and I'm sticking with it.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Of COURSE, I wouldn't want to brag about the source because it's only Nathan Branch, he of the impeccable taste, the way with words, the photographic genius, the cachet of one who gets Ormonde Jayne in 50ml sample size... *gushgushgush* Juno turned me on to him, Sylvia and Rosie need to read him.
%FOOTNOTE (percented): ...and may happily consider a bunny skull belt buckle.
^FOOTNOTE (careted): The variables being the number of posts and my ability to spontaneously reach that number in a given year.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Which is exactly where I started 2009. I think. Maybe I was at Patrick Carroll's... oh, hell. I just need to get out more.
@FOONOTE (atted): Also, I've never had a boyfriend at Christmas or my birthday and I've never had sex in November. Maybe I've just found the beginnings of a list of resolutions.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): As opposed to emergent ccare. I think I'd have to get out of the house to earn emergent care.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Gigolo? Is there a better word?
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): None of you is allowed to die this year. I need a year without fresh mourning.
§§FOOTNOTE (very twisted): Which just cemented my dorkified, never-ending love of Rush, so marvelous was the concert.
¶¶FOOTNOTE (clubs of the 80s): Still like them, vocals still good, Geoff Tate has no sense of humour about himself, his music, possibly anything else... and I found that a little sad.
##FOOTNOTE (pounding like that vein in my temple): Eh. I thought he'd be better. I still laughed. I did come to the conclusion comedians should refresh their material before they tour.
†††FOOTNOTE (how gothic): Who are unerringly awful in concert and, in fact, use so much fog that one is hard-pressed to swear there are even musicians on stage. Yet, I will go every time I get a chance because it always reminds me of how much I like the music. So I go home and listen to the good versions on my iPod. Besides, some day I'm actually going to see Andrew Eldritch. And for the record, I totally disagree with the linked review about one thing: It was NOT looped. The last time I was them saw almost undoubtedly pre-recorded, but this time it was too *off* to be recorded. Sometimes it sounded like the guitarist was playing one song while Andy was singing another, it was that off.
‡‡‡FOOTNOTE (the tracks of my tears -- have I already used that one?): Dad's engaged. There's a whole stepfamily waiting in the wings.
§§§FOOTNOTE (sssnowboarding): I tried snowboarding once. I took a group lesson with a bunch of six-year-olds with no gravity and no fear and they passed me off to another instructor for one-on-one training (when you're holding the first graders back, you should probably pack it in) and at one point, I actually sat in the snow and beat my little fists on its crust in frustration. At some point, the instructor asked if I was done for the day (it should be noted I was finally sort of getting it sort of) and I said, "yes." So he called Ski Patrol and they TOOK ME DOWN ON A STRETCHER. I considered being embarrassed, but I figured the people watching me hauled down behind a snowmobile didn't know I didn't break my leg, so I took to waving as I went by. Anyway, I'm not all that eager to try snowboarding again.
¶¶¶FOOTNOTE (a kiss or a kick -- either way, it's love): Which is important. A lot of spicy scents smell like cinnamon and cloves and, while I like those smells, I tend to think of them as "better as potpourri."
###FOOTNOTE (3D tictactoe): The By Killian site is cool -- it gives an actual list of ingredients. Check it out.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Things I Learned in 2008
Friday, December 5, 2008
Pig Licking in Space
TTHFCIF
Ah, Friday.
Friday with its promise of exotic weekend fun and its propensity for blogquizzes, memes and pig-licking.
[SUMMARY: You can dress a pig up. It's still a pig.]
*************
I *am* knitting.
Only, I'm knitting the ubiquitous Noro stripey scarf and I would be too embarrassed to post a WIP photo.† I may even be too embarrassed to post it when it's finished. It's just been so... done.‡
There's also the Purple Prose scarf, which hasn't seen a frogging since the dropped-stitch mishap of two weeks ago and is well over half done. As you know, pictures of unblocked lace tend to look like yarn barf or crumpled tissue,% so I'm foregoing that pleasure as well.§
But this is still a knitblog and I am still knitting. You'll just have to take my word for it.
[SUMMARY: I don't ask much.]
*************
I went to theBroncosRaiders game a couple of weeks ago. It is the first sporting event I've left before the buzzer since¶ I missed watching a Buffs comeback in 1990# because the Air Force precision drill team on whose ticket I went wanted to beat traffic.††
It was that abyssmal.
I took all the festive photos, just like last year. In the end, this may be the only picture of note:
It looks a little like a Koolhaas licensed by the NFL.
[SUMMARY: Go Broncos! Take your stupid cheerleaders with you!]
*************
It's hard to believe, but I think CBS Outdoors has found an even weirder billboard than Chas and Terry.
We've had many lively discussions on this one.
Not just for the concept of, "OK, so I was driving down the road, trying to get to the grocery store before rush hour, when I saw this billboard and it hit me: I can DONATE my boat!"
Not just for the ill-advised colour selection.‡‡
The best conversation was probably the one where we§§ realised that boat has lips and eyes.
I don't know that it's as creepy as Chas and Terry, but I believe it may be more disconcerting.
[SUMMARY: Somebody has too much time on her hands.]
*************
Hans left yesterday for Decorah, Iowa, to take his girfriend to visit her brother, who is attending college there.
This is notable¶¶ for two reasons:
On a cheerful note, I was behind this kindred spirit in traffic the other day:
It's good to have peeps.
*************
I'm not even going to post the perfume bit I'd thought to do today. It's one I smelled while the aforementioned Hans was in the aforementioned Thailand and I thought to myself, "Screw him. I smelled it without him, he left me here to go see Dennis, I'm posting without him."
But then I saw it was a lovely warm, woody, unisex floral that I had billed as "balloon and hot electronics," so I think I'll wait until I can smell again and give it a second chance.
*
*
*
Yeah, next Friday I'll probably just do a meme or a some quiz on which Twilight character§§§ I am.
Or I'll take more cough medicine and *really* make it a party.¶¶¶
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Curse you, Yarn Harlot!
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): And you know I'm always looking to be undone.
%FOOTNOTE (percented): Another Yarn Harlot observation. I'm not sure whether to curse her for taking all the good ones or bless her for making it easy for me to cop out on lace photos.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): You're welcome.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Or 1991. Maybe 1992. In any case, it is one of the two most annoying tales in my repertoire, the other one being how I will never, ever rip the wrapping off a present again since the time I gave into my mother's frustration and ripped the dust jacket of a lovely collector's edition of Alice in Wonderland. There's nothing snottier than a person who is irritating with cause.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): A game now famous, on all the Sports Illustrated lists... a game I get to say, "I was there," when people bring it up, but have to say, "No, I didn't see the ending. It sounded exciting from the parking lot, though."
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Still bitter.
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): I know purple and yellow are technically contrasting colours and good for things like billboards but... yucch.
§§FOOTNOTE (like shivers up my spine): And by "we," I mean, "I." My minion Mike had just asked, "Why does the boat have lips," and I jumped in to say, "I think that's a lipstick print 'cause somebody kissed the boat 'cause it's a boat angel." Hans said, "No... it has teeth. And there are eyes up on the bridge, too."
I need glasses.
¶¶FOOTNOTE (two notes): My definition of notable, that is.
##FOOTNOTE (tic-tac-toeing the line): I'm not being flip. When your mom has about 200 first cousins and they all have upwards of ten kids, the whole "cousins" issue begins to require some precision to have any meaning at all.
†††FOOTNOTE (you can't be cross with Dennis): Dennis is gay. Given the statistics, he can't possibly be the only gay member of the Ohlert family, but he's the only one who will cop to it. Hey, when a large chunk of your large family is midwestern farming German Catholic, a gay man who runs a museum is like a bird of paradise among daisies.
‡‡‡FOOTNOTE (follow my train of thought): Or not. He may just sit on the board. Or decorate. Curate is a prettier word.
§§§FOOTNOTE (there is a season, turn, turn, turn): I'm still waiting for someone to tell me why so many witty, intelligent women are so in love with that piece of literary dross.
¶¶¶FOOTNOTE (pull the lever, cast your vote): I bet y'all are hoping I don't come up with anything better so you can find out which Twilight character I am.
Ah, Friday.
Friday with its promise of exotic weekend fun and its propensity for blogquizzes, memes and pig-licking.
[SUMMARY: You can dress a pig up. It's still a pig.]
*************
I *am* knitting.
Only, I'm knitting the ubiquitous Noro stripey scarf and I would be too embarrassed to post a WIP photo.† I may even be too embarrassed to post it when it's finished. It's just been so... done.‡
There's also the Purple Prose scarf, which hasn't seen a frogging since the dropped-stitch mishap of two weeks ago and is well over half done. As you know, pictures of unblocked lace tend to look like yarn barf or crumpled tissue,% so I'm foregoing that pleasure as well.§
But this is still a knitblog and I am still knitting. You'll just have to take my word for it.
[SUMMARY: I don't ask much.]
*************
I went to the
It was that abyssmal.
I took all the festive photos, just like last year. In the end, this may be the only picture of note:
It looks a little like a Koolhaas licensed by the NFL.
[SUMMARY: Go Broncos! Take your stupid cheerleaders with you!]
*************
It's hard to believe, but I think CBS Outdoors has found an even weirder billboard than Chas and Terry.
We've had many lively discussions on this one.
Not just for the concept of, "OK, so I was driving down the road, trying to get to the grocery store before rush hour, when I saw this billboard and it hit me: I can DONATE my boat!"
Not just for the ill-advised colour selection.‡‡
The best conversation was probably the one where we§§ realised that boat has lips and eyes.
I don't know that it's as creepy as Chas and Terry, but I believe it may be more disconcerting.
[SUMMARY: Somebody has too much time on her hands.]
*************
Hans left yesterday for Decorah, Iowa, to take his girfriend to visit her brother, who is attending college there.
This is notable¶¶ for two reasons:
- Hans swore, after getting much grief from all quarters for his globe-trotting ways and impeccable timing in leaving for Thailand at precisely the time when we needed two warm bodies battling the bugs of divestiture, that he wasn't going to be gone for the rest of the year. This declaration was quickly followed with, "Well, except for Iowa in November. But that doesn't count." So we refer to this as the Trip that Never Was. And I think that's funny.
- I am related on my mother's side to half of Decorah. Maybe more. One of my favourite first-cousins-once-removed,## Dennis,††† curates‡‡‡ the Porter House Museum there.
On a cheerful note, I was behind this kindred spirit in traffic the other day:
It's good to have peeps.
*************
I'm not even going to post the perfume bit I'd thought to do today. It's one I smelled while the aforementioned Hans was in the aforementioned Thailand and I thought to myself, "Screw him. I smelled it without him, he left me here to go see Dennis, I'm posting without him."
But then I saw it was a lovely warm, woody, unisex floral that I had billed as "balloon and hot electronics," so I think I'll wait until I can smell again and give it a second chance.
*
*
*
Yeah, next Friday I'll probably just do a meme or a some quiz on which Twilight character§§§ I am.
Or I'll take more cough medicine and *really* make it a party.¶¶¶
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Curse you, Yarn Harlot!
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): And you know I'm always looking to be undone.
%FOOTNOTE (percented): Another Yarn Harlot observation. I'm not sure whether to curse her for taking all the good ones or bless her for making it easy for me to cop out on lace photos.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): You're welcome.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Or 1991. Maybe 1992. In any case, it is one of the two most annoying tales in my repertoire, the other one being how I will never, ever rip the wrapping off a present again since the time I gave into my mother's frustration and ripped the dust jacket of a lovely collector's edition of Alice in Wonderland. There's nothing snottier than a person who is irritating with cause.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): A game now famous, on all the Sports Illustrated lists... a game I get to say, "I was there," when people bring it up, but have to say, "No, I didn't see the ending. It sounded exciting from the parking lot, though."
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Still bitter.
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): I know purple and yellow are technically contrasting colours and good for things like billboards but... yucch.
§§FOOTNOTE (like shivers up my spine): And by "we," I mean, "I." My minion Mike had just asked, "Why does the boat have lips," and I jumped in to say, "I think that's a lipstick print 'cause somebody kissed the boat 'cause it's a boat angel." Hans said, "No... it has teeth. And there are eyes up on the bridge, too."
I need glasses.
¶¶FOOTNOTE (two notes): My definition of notable, that is.
##FOOTNOTE (tic-tac-toeing the line): I'm not being flip. When your mom has about 200 first cousins and they all have upwards of ten kids, the whole "cousins" issue begins to require some precision to have any meaning at all.
†††FOOTNOTE (you can't be cross with Dennis): Dennis is gay. Given the statistics, he can't possibly be the only gay member of the Ohlert family, but he's the only one who will cop to it. Hey, when a large chunk of your large family is midwestern farming German Catholic, a gay man who runs a museum is like a bird of paradise among daisies.
‡‡‡FOOTNOTE (follow my train of thought): Or not. He may just sit on the board. Or decorate. Curate is a prettier word.
§§§FOOTNOTE (there is a season, turn, turn, turn): I'm still waiting for someone to tell me why so many witty, intelligent women are so in love with that piece of literary dross.
¶¶¶FOOTNOTE (pull the lever, cast your vote): I bet y'all are hoping I don't come up with anything better so you can find out which Twilight character I am.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
This is My Pig Nose
A funny perfume story: I've learned not to use my right wrist when reviewing perfumes.
All day, it sits on my glow-in-the-dark pig rest,† and the pig rest has taken on all my perfumes. So my right wrist smells entirely different from my left wrist, and not at all like the perfume I put on that morning.
[SUMMARY: I'm making my own perfume.]
A funny knitting story: I've only knit one sweater before‡ and it was top-down and seamless, so the Vampirates sweater with set-in sleeves is new territory.
This was never more obvious than when I knit up the first sleeve and tried to figure out how it would fit into the armhole and realised§ I hadn't knit the shoulder cap.
I had to un-bindoff and finish the thing properly.
[SUMMARY: When dorks knit sweaters.]
A funny book story: I came back from the bathroom¶ at 4:00 this morning to find Cat for Scale lovingly licking the edges of the pages of the second Vampirate book. I wash my hands before I read it,# so I don't think there's residual food anywhere.
Weird little cat.
[SUMMARY: Weird little household.]
I believe that covers that covers all the major hobbies. Except drinking.††
We're clear for the day -- I'm going to go wash my pig.
*************
Clair de Musc - Serge Lutens (edp)
Marin says: Perfume. Kind of non-descript and remarkable only in that it had no alcohol or aldehyde edge and an undefinable sweet smell.
I've had conversation recently that musk may not be quite the animal/sexual smell I thought it was -- everything I've smelled that says musk lately seems to be sweet like baby powder. Not my cup of tea.
The Perfumed Court says: A floral-woody-musk fragrance with notes of delicate orange blossom and white iris from Tuscany.
Hans says: Definitely soapy, but a particular soap... *sniff*
Dove. *sniff*
Dove lotion bar.††
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): With 45 hearts!
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Green Gable.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Only two days later!
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): That damned pee-every-time-I-roll-over thing.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): It is, technically, someone else's book. And he hasn't even seen it yet, so I have to keep it neat and clean.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): I think I will now have a drink.
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): I actually don't have a footnote. Just wanted to say hey to Lyda, who was worried when there were no footnotes yesterday. I know she has a system and everything.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
I Ran Out of Footnote Symbols
We all knew it would happen someday.
At least we get to start fresh with a whole new post and a whole new set of symbols.†
I do have a perfume review today. I have a perfume review every day for the forseeable future, because I have a perfume problem that has manifested itself as about seventy tiny little vials of perfumes‡ sitting in a heart-shaped dish§ on my dresser.
And did I mention my obsessive nature?¶
[SUMMARY: OCD, light on the C.]
But first, for Anna-Liza, whose bat comment seemed to have enormous subtext and reminded me of this:
Need I point out there are two definitions of "depends" here that could make for a really funny joke if one was so inclined?
[SUMMARY: I think I'm funny in a really subtle way.]
*************
Au Thè Blanc# - Bvlgari†† (edp)‡‡
Marin says: The initial whiff was very aldehyde (read: borerline Chanel No. 5), but it quickly calmed to very nearly nothing. Like, in five minutes. I kept snorking on my coffee§§ to clear my nose's palate¶¶ and try to catch something.
After a half-hour, it kinda blossomed, but the roll-out smells like the last legs of a strong aldehyde -- perfumey and chemical-sweet musk rather than any identifiable notes.
These tend to finish powdery, which is not my favourite thing, though never truly unpleasant.
The Perfumed Court says: A gorgeous floral-woody-musk fragrance with notes of artemisia leaves, ambrette, white pepper, musk$ and woody amber.
Hans says: You smell like my mom.
*************
Some of you may be wondering, "How does Marin have hours and hours to devote to her blog every day. Doesn't she work? Doesn't she work in the oil business? Isn't she busy finding oil to lower my gas prices?## Hey! Where are my lower gas prices?"
A legitimate line of questioning. Allow me to explain.
I am working on yet another divestiture. To make a long story short, I must wait for the Billings††† office to provide me with the properties they wish to divest before I can adequately research the information I am to provide.
They are dragging their feet.‡‡‡
The deadline is looming.§§§
My blood pressure is so high my eyes are about to pop out of my head and run screaming around my desk.###
Thus, I blog.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): And, y'know... breaking up the vast verbiage to save you the eye-strain. I'm thoughtful that way.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): *ahem* Not to mention the eight or so full-size bottles I kept around before this obsession really took wing. Oh... and the back-up bottle of Sake (I'm pretty sure nothing smells sexier on me than Sake) I keep in the closet because I'm terrified they'll discontinue it soon since it was came out the same time the Memoirs of a Geisha movie and may be a sort of tie-in, thus limited of shelf life.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): It's purple. Don't judge.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Yeah, I'm a joy as a girlfriend too.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Which I originally had on my spreadsheet (yes, I have a perfume spreadsheet) as Au de Blanc. Then I realised it was Au the Blanc, which I thought was odd, mixing English and French that way. Then I found out it was Au Thè Blanc, "white tea."
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Bvlgari does not acknowledge its fragrance department. They only cop to leather and accessories, so they don't get a say in their perfume review.
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): Unless I note it's an edp, or unless it's BPAL (which I believe are all essential oil mixtures), it's an edt. In case it matters to you.
§§FOOTNOTE (waft): That's what they make you do in the candle store to clear your nose palate. It works better with beans than with brewed coffee.
¶¶FOOTNOTE (nose holes): Surely there's a special word for that.
$FOOTNOTE (on the money): Ha! Got one!
##FOOTNOTE (pounded like a head on a desk): Days like today, I feel I've driven the price of gas up by two cents a gallon just by being largely unproductive and getting paid for it.
†††FOOTNOTE (triple crossed like a heist movie): As in "Montana," not as in "invoices."
‡‡‡FOOTNOTE (train tracks to hell): read: Interacting like the three stooges on amphetamines but providing no useful assistance.
§§§FOOTNOTE (seriously, people, I'm getting dizzy): Two weeks. It was going to be almost impossible to do in three weeks. Now we have two weeks. OK, let's all take a deep breath (yes, you too -- I need all the deep breathing I can get now). It has been pointed out -- by me, by my supervisor, by my supervisor's supervisor -- that if they make it impossible, it *is* impossible and that's not my fault and Billings will just have to live with a later sale... but they're still going to get the info to us and I'm still going to try like hell to get it all done by the noted deadline. Did I mention Hans is in North Carolina for the rest of the week and the computers are going to be down for five days just before the deadline? I need an aspirin...
###FOOTNOTE: No real footnote... that's just the pounding of my head. Is it getting louder?
At least we get to start fresh with a whole new post and a whole new set of symbols.†
I do have a perfume review today. I have a perfume review every day for the forseeable future, because I have a perfume problem that has manifested itself as about seventy tiny little vials of perfumes‡ sitting in a heart-shaped dish§ on my dresser.
And did I mention my obsessive nature?¶
[SUMMARY: OCD, light on the C.]
But first, for Anna-Liza, whose bat comment seemed to have enormous subtext and reminded me of this:
Need I point out there are two definitions of "depends" here that could make for a really funny joke if one was so inclined?
[SUMMARY: I think I'm funny in a really subtle way.]
*************
Au Thè Blanc# - Bvlgari†† (edp)‡‡
Marin says: The initial whiff was very aldehyde (read: borerline Chanel No. 5), but it quickly calmed to very nearly nothing. Like, in five minutes. I kept snorking on my coffee§§ to clear my nose's palate¶¶ and try to catch something.
After a half-hour, it kinda blossomed, but the roll-out smells like the last legs of a strong aldehyde -- perfumey and chemical-sweet musk rather than any identifiable notes.
These tend to finish powdery, which is not my favourite thing, though never truly unpleasant.
The Perfumed Court says: A gorgeous floral-woody-musk fragrance with notes of artemisia leaves, ambrette, white pepper, musk$ and woody amber.
Hans says: You smell like my mom.
*************
Some of you may be wondering, "How does Marin have hours and hours to devote to her blog every day. Doesn't she work? Doesn't she work in the oil business? Isn't she busy finding oil to lower my gas prices?## Hey! Where are my lower gas prices?"
A legitimate line of questioning. Allow me to explain.
I am working on yet another divestiture. To make a long story short, I must wait for the Billings††† office to provide me with the properties they wish to divest before I can adequately research the information I am to provide.
They are dragging their feet.‡‡‡
The deadline is looming.§§§
My blood pressure is so high my eyes are about to pop out of my head and run screaming around my desk.###
Thus, I blog.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): And, y'know... breaking up the vast verbiage to save you the eye-strain. I'm thoughtful that way.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): *ahem* Not to mention the eight or so full-size bottles I kept around before this obsession really took wing. Oh... and the back-up bottle of Sake (I'm pretty sure nothing smells sexier on me than Sake) I keep in the closet because I'm terrified they'll discontinue it soon since it was came out the same time the Memoirs of a Geisha movie and may be a sort of tie-in, thus limited of shelf life.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): It's purple. Don't judge.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Yeah, I'm a joy as a girlfriend too.
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Which I originally had on my spreadsheet (yes, I have a perfume spreadsheet) as Au de Blanc. Then I realised it was Au the Blanc, which I thought was odd, mixing English and French that way. Then I found out it was Au Thè Blanc, "white tea."
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Bvlgari does not acknowledge its fragrance department. They only cop to leather and accessories, so they don't get a say in their perfume review.
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): Unless I note it's an edp, or unless it's BPAL (which I believe are all essential oil mixtures), it's an edt. In case it matters to you.
§§FOOTNOTE (waft): That's what they make you do in the candle store to clear your nose palate. It works better with beans than with brewed coffee.
¶¶FOOTNOTE (nose holes): Surely there's a special word for that.
$FOOTNOTE (on the money): Ha! Got one!
##FOOTNOTE (pounded like a head on a desk): Days like today, I feel I've driven the price of gas up by two cents a gallon just by being largely unproductive and getting paid for it.
†††FOOTNOTE (triple crossed like a heist movie): As in "Montana," not as in "invoices."
‡‡‡FOOTNOTE (train tracks to hell): read: Interacting like the three stooges on amphetamines but providing no useful assistance.
§§§FOOTNOTE (seriously, people, I'm getting dizzy): Two weeks. It was going to be almost impossible to do in three weeks. Now we have two weeks. OK, let's all take a deep breath (yes, you too -- I need all the deep breathing I can get now). It has been pointed out -- by me, by my supervisor, by my supervisor's supervisor -- that if they make it impossible, it *is* impossible and that's not my fault and Billings will just have to live with a later sale... but they're still going to get the info to us and I'm still going to try like hell to get it all done by the noted deadline. Did I mention Hans is in North Carolina for the rest of the week and the computers are going to be down for five days just before the deadline? I need an aspirin...
###FOOTNOTE: No real footnote... that's just the pounding of my head. Is it getting louder?
Friday, August 1, 2008
Bad, Bad Influence
I have been accused by more than one person *coughSylviacoughRosie* of leading them down the primrose path† to perfume-driven bankruptcy.‡
Hell, if I'm gonna do the time, I'm gonna do the crime.§
The Perfumed Court, my all-time favourite source for scents, is having an anniversary sale.
Today until midnight, 20% off your entire order.¶
Tomorrow through August 11, 10% off your entire order.#
Go forth and scentify.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Or the tuberose path. Or the patchouli path. Or the citrus path. It's your path, you perfume it however you want.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): At least of eating into the shoes-and-yarn budget.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): If scenting the world be a crime, let me be guilty!
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): code: TPCAnniversary
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Midnight to midnight. Code: tpconeyear
Hell, if I'm gonna do the time, I'm gonna do the crime.§
The Perfumed Court, my all-time favourite source for scents, is having an anniversary sale.
Today until midnight, 20% off your entire order.¶
Tomorrow through August 11, 10% off your entire order.#
Go forth and scentify.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): Or the tuberose path. Or the patchouli path. Or the citrus path. It's your path, you perfume it however you want.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): At least of eating into the shoes-and-yarn budget.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): If scenting the world be a crime, let me be guilty!
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): code: TPCAnniversary
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Midnight to midnight. Code: tpconeyear
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Smell Me Later
Part II of today's 3-part series on why this was the best birthday ever.
Little known Marin fact: I have worn perfume almost every day since before I turned 12.
It's embarrassing, but like the story of why I sleep naked, I will cheerfully share with you the story of why I have worn perfume for more than 25 years.
[SUMMARY: Welcome to the AntiM story hour.]
Sixth grade, "health." The boys in one room watching one filmstrip, the girls in another room watching another film strip.
Ya-da, ya-da, ya-da.
The thing that catches my attention?†
"You may have to shower more often, as your body will develop new and occasionally unpleasant odors."‡
And I'll never forget the picture either. It was a girl, probably fourteen or fifteen, stepping out from behind a shower curtain, her chestnut hair piled on her head, a long left leg perched on the bathmat, her left arm coyly holding the shower curtain over her fun stuff... and a look of weary anxiety on her face.
I did not want to be that girl.§
[SUMMARY: I'm so this girl. I did not want to be *that* girl.]
So I spritzed perfume in my armpits.
And in a place I quickly discovered you should never, ever spray perfume.¶
And I worried. I grew as anxious as the girl in the filmstrip.#
[SUMMARY: "Chestnuts, springtime, rainbows is That Girl..." lalalalala]
So my perfume went with me everywhere. Honestly, I don't remember what that first perfume was. I remember it was Avon. I remember scuffling my feet and mumbling to my mother like I was asking her to buy me condoms when I asked for it from the catalog.
My second perfume was Charlie, a gift from a middle school friend.††
Mom got me White Shoulders,^ maybe for my 14th birthday. I wore White Shoulders until college. There I met Paintroller,$ who travelled blithely through the student union in a cloud of White Shoulders thick enough to drop a moose.
I *so* did not want to be that girl.
[SUMMARY: Sometimes it's easier to point out what you don't want.]
Obsession. No, not me,‡‡ the perfume.
I hated it, but Mom loved it and bought me a bottle or two through college. And... y'know... I *had* to wear perfume, but didn't have money for perfume, being a college student and all.
[SUMMARY: I've developed a new that girl.]
Over the years, I've honed my preferences and developed my scent palate.
For instance, I don't like vanilla. Something in my body chemistry takes the tiniest bit of vanilla and blows it up to the obliteration of every other note in any given perfume and I smell like a frickin' sugar cookie.§§
Amber is supposed to be sexy, but I find a lot of ambers turn to vanilla turn to sugar cookies.
Frickin' sugar cookies.
Aldehydes often smell like Barbie dolls to me.¶¶ Sometimes this is good, sometimes it's bad, but it's almost always too strong.
Apricot is one of my favourite notes for me. Scaasi (discontinued) and Fresh Fig Apricot have apricot, and Tresor has the shinier smell of peach and that works OK too.
Wood, but not sandalwood. Green, but not artificial Kool-Aid lime.
Patchouli turns me on in the most basic and literal way. It doesn't matter where I am or who's wearing it, if patchouli catches me unaware, I get all tingly.##
[SUMMARY: I'm full of useless information today.]
Anyway, cut to 2008. Through the grace of someone I won't embarrass, I started trolling a couple of perfume sites. I bought lyrically described oils from Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab. I bought perfumes I'd read about in Danielle Steele novels††† from Perfumed Court. I discovered perfume blogs.%
So when I opened the first part of eBeth's birthday present -- a copy of Chandler Burr's newest book‡‡‡ -- and she told me she'd found perfume blogs and would like to read the book when I'm done, the first thing I said was, "Ooooh... have you seen The Perfumed Court?"
Bless her, she kept a straight face.
[SUMMARY: We are now in the foreshadowing portion of our blogpost.§§§]
eBeth got me the Beginner's Sampler from The Perfumed Court.
I smell pretty.
Or sometimes like grave dirt.
Either way, I have my perfume to help chase away occasional unpleasant odors.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): It may be useful to keep in mind that I was a C-cup, had been shaving my legs and armpits for nearly a year and had learned first-hand the horrors of the bikini area. Most of this wasn't Nostradamus-level prediction, just facts of my own little life.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): I am not making this up. I wrote that sentence down and contemplated it daily for two years. I know *exactly* what the narrator of the filmstrip said, in her cheery Kimberly Clark voice.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): OK, I wanted the chestnut hair and the long limbs. Just not the anxiety of new and occasionally unpleasant odors.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): "Baby, why you got your balls in the sink? That's nasty, baby."
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Unfairly enough, I did not grow long chestnut hair and even longer legs.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): And I'm pretty sure cementing the idea that I smelled occasionally unpleasant and needed help.
^FOOTNOTE (carated): Some time later -- like in my thirties -- Mom and I caught a whiff of White Shoulders at the mall and I mused aloud on how it took me back, and how I'd read somewhere that White Shoulders was a nice fragrance for a little girl and how that had bugged me, since at the time I got it, I thought it was wildly sophisticated (I think I'd read about it in a book. Not a Danielle Steele book). Mom told me she'd always loved it and worn it until a fellow Army nurse told her White Shoulders was for teenagers. It's a small world (and it smells funny, for those of you Sisters of Mercy fans).
$FOOTNOTE (moneyed): So called because of how she evidently applied her eyeshadow.
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): Shut up.
§§FOOTNOTE (in a cloud of perfume): Brother has noted that smelling like a frickin' sugar cookie should not be a problem and may be wildly attractive to men hungry for home baking. If you know what I mean.
¶¶FOOTNOTE (two little spray bottles): Though Chanel No. 5 (a classic aldehyde) will always smell like Mom and Dad going out for the evening, and is accompanied by the phantom taste of lipstick as Mom kissed me goodnight.
##FOOTNOTE (pounded like a frickin' sugar cookie): I once *felt* my pupils dilate and my heart skip a beat at the jewelry counter at Nordstrom when some soccer mom wearing a very unsoccermom-like patchouli pulled up next to me.
†††FOOTNOTE (three stoppers, all in a row): Don't judge.
%FOOTNOTE (percented): I love this post on perfumes for Valentine's Day.
‡‡‡FOOTNOTE (frankenscent!): Chandler Burr is the scent critic for the New York Times.
§§§FOOTNOTE (whirly, swirly, floral and girly): It's subtler than usual. This isn't saying much.
Little known Marin fact: I have worn perfume almost every day since before I turned 12.
It's embarrassing, but like the story of why I sleep naked, I will cheerfully share with you the story of why I have worn perfume for more than 25 years.
[SUMMARY: Welcome to the AntiM story hour.]
Sixth grade, "health." The boys in one room watching one filmstrip, the girls in another room watching another film strip.
Ya-da, ya-da, ya-da.
The thing that catches my attention?†
"You may have to shower more often, as your body will develop new and occasionally unpleasant odors."‡
And I'll never forget the picture either. It was a girl, probably fourteen or fifteen, stepping out from behind a shower curtain, her chestnut hair piled on her head, a long left leg perched on the bathmat, her left arm coyly holding the shower curtain over her fun stuff... and a look of weary anxiety on her face.
I did not want to be that girl.§
[SUMMARY: I'm so this girl. I did not want to be *that* girl.]
So I spritzed perfume in my armpits.
And in a place I quickly discovered you should never, ever spray perfume.¶
And I worried. I grew as anxious as the girl in the filmstrip.#
[SUMMARY: "Chestnuts, springtime, rainbows is That Girl..." lalalalala]
So my perfume went with me everywhere. Honestly, I don't remember what that first perfume was. I remember it was Avon. I remember scuffling my feet and mumbling to my mother like I was asking her to buy me condoms when I asked for it from the catalog.
My second perfume was Charlie, a gift from a middle school friend.††
Mom got me White Shoulders,^ maybe for my 14th birthday. I wore White Shoulders until college. There I met Paintroller,$ who travelled blithely through the student union in a cloud of White Shoulders thick enough to drop a moose.
I *so* did not want to be that girl.
[SUMMARY: Sometimes it's easier to point out what you don't want.]
Obsession. No, not me,‡‡ the perfume.
I hated it, but Mom loved it and bought me a bottle or two through college. And... y'know... I *had* to wear perfume, but didn't have money for perfume, being a college student and all.
[SUMMARY: I've developed a new that girl.]
Over the years, I've honed my preferences and developed my scent palate.
For instance, I don't like vanilla. Something in my body chemistry takes the tiniest bit of vanilla and blows it up to the obliteration of every other note in any given perfume and I smell like a frickin' sugar cookie.§§
Amber is supposed to be sexy, but I find a lot of ambers turn to vanilla turn to sugar cookies.
Frickin' sugar cookies.
Aldehydes often smell like Barbie dolls to me.¶¶ Sometimes this is good, sometimes it's bad, but it's almost always too strong.
Apricot is one of my favourite notes for me. Scaasi (discontinued) and Fresh Fig Apricot have apricot, and Tresor has the shinier smell of peach and that works OK too.
Wood, but not sandalwood. Green, but not artificial Kool-Aid lime.
Patchouli turns me on in the most basic and literal way. It doesn't matter where I am or who's wearing it, if patchouli catches me unaware, I get all tingly.##
[SUMMARY: I'm full of useless information today.]
Anyway, cut to 2008. Through the grace of someone I won't embarrass, I started trolling a couple of perfume sites. I bought lyrically described oils from Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab. I bought perfumes I'd read about in Danielle Steele novels††† from Perfumed Court. I discovered perfume blogs.%
So when I opened the first part of eBeth's birthday present -- a copy of Chandler Burr's newest book‡‡‡ -- and she told me she'd found perfume blogs and would like to read the book when I'm done, the first thing I said was, "Ooooh... have you seen The Perfumed Court?"
Bless her, she kept a straight face.
[SUMMARY: We are now in the foreshadowing portion of our blogpost.§§§]
eBeth got me the Beginner's Sampler from The Perfumed Court.
I smell pretty.
Or sometimes like grave dirt.
Either way, I have my perfume to help chase away occasional unpleasant odors.
†FOOTNOTE (crossed): It may be useful to keep in mind that I was a C-cup, had been shaving my legs and armpits for nearly a year and had learned first-hand the horrors of the bikini area. Most of this wasn't Nostradamus-level prediction, just facts of my own little life.
‡FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): I am not making this up. I wrote that sentence down and contemplated it daily for two years. I know *exactly* what the narrator of the filmstrip said, in her cheery Kimberly Clark voice.
§FOOTNOTE (swerved): OK, I wanted the chestnut hair and the long limbs. Just not the anxiety of new and occasionally unpleasant odors.
¶FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): "Baby, why you got your balls in the sink? That's nasty, baby."
#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Unfairly enough, I did not grow long chestnut hair and even longer legs.
††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): And I'm pretty sure cementing the idea that I smelled occasionally unpleasant and needed help.
^FOOTNOTE (carated): Some time later -- like in my thirties -- Mom and I caught a whiff of White Shoulders at the mall and I mused aloud on how it took me back, and how I'd read somewhere that White Shoulders was a nice fragrance for a little girl and how that had bugged me, since at the time I got it, I thought it was wildly sophisticated (I think I'd read about it in a book. Not a Danielle Steele book). Mom told me she'd always loved it and worn it until a fellow Army nurse told her White Shoulders was for teenagers. It's a small world (and it smells funny, for those of you Sisters of Mercy fans).
$FOOTNOTE (moneyed): So called because of how she evidently applied her eyeshadow.
‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): Shut up.
§§FOOTNOTE (in a cloud of perfume): Brother has noted that smelling like a frickin' sugar cookie should not be a problem and may be wildly attractive to men hungry for home baking. If you know what I mean.
¶¶FOOTNOTE (two little spray bottles): Though Chanel No. 5 (a classic aldehyde) will always smell like Mom and Dad going out for the evening, and is accompanied by the phantom taste of lipstick as Mom kissed me goodnight.
##FOOTNOTE (pounded like a frickin' sugar cookie): I once *felt* my pupils dilate and my heart skip a beat at the jewelry counter at Nordstrom when some soccer mom wearing a very unsoccermom-like patchouli pulled up next to me.
†††FOOTNOTE (three stoppers, all in a row): Don't judge.
%FOOTNOTE (percented): I love this post on perfumes for Valentine's Day.
‡‡‡FOOTNOTE (frankenscent!): Chandler Burr is the scent critic for the New York Times.
§§§FOOTNOTE (whirly, swirly, floral and girly): It's subtler than usual. This isn't saying much.
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