Thursday, January 15, 2009

Just Like Jack Daniels Uses

I am a high-quality filter.%

Every day, I get my three emails from Very Short List. Every day, I read them, check out the links and carefully consider how badly Brother may need them. Then I forward as appropriate.

I have suggested he might like to subscribe to VSL and make his own decisions on what Very Short News he gets, but he maintains we have a good set-up just the way it is.


The whole QO'Q path is not meant to get me out of meaningful blogging, nor to mask the fact that I can't get my butt to the basement to extract and process photos for knitting content§; it is my way of distilling the thousands of pieces of information I receive every day into a tasty, intoxicating concoction for you, whilst filtering out the chaff.#

[SUMMARY: We come to praise Caesar, not to bury him.]

To that end, I bring you today's found object.

It's a PETA anti-fishing campaign that makes me wonder if such vast resources could be used for good instead of inane:

Kiss Me - I'm a Sea Kitten!

There's a large, multi-paged, multi-media'd website devoted entirely to Sea†† Kittens. It includes a book of Sea Kitten bedtime stories.‡‡ I don't want to give the ending away, but Chapter One is entitled "Snuggle Buddies."§§

On the bright side, you can build your own Sea Kitten.

Mine is called "Lunch."@

Create Your Own Sea Kitten at!

In the interest of full disclosure, it should be noted my favourite radio moment of the 20th century was a debate between a PETA representative¶¶ and Ted Nugent on the merits of fishing.##

[SUMMARY: I'm not fair and balanced, but I'm open about it.†††]

Further updates as I think the situation warrants it.

FOOTNOTE (crossed): We've gone this far without bursting my bubble. Let's not start now, shall we?

%FOOTNOTE (percented): Jack Daniels uses charcoal. Charcoal is quite simply a diamond in the rough. I believe this to be apt. See footnote (crossed) above.

FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Which it does.

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Which it should.

FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): In keeping with the whiskey theme.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): And, in keeping with the whiskey theme, if there is grain mash in whiskey, there *must* be chaff to be separated somewhere in the process.

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): The temptation to write to PETA to point out that many, many fish never see the sea... don't they want to save the bass? And the brook trout? And the Colorado state fish, the greenback cutthroat trout which was listed as "threatened" on the endangered species list due to whirling disease? DOESN'T PETA CARE ABOUT *MY* FISH?!

Oh, yeah. Big temptation. I think all y'all should write to PETA about your respective state fishes. Unless they're actually ocean-going fishes, that is.

‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): Because you can tell a lot about a culture by its bedtime stories. I am not making this shit up.

§§FOOTNOTE (my footnotes have whirling disease!): Have you ever snuggled a trout? It's not something about which they should be writing bedtime stories.

@FOOTNOTE (atted): Lunch has her own water dish (what fish doesn't need a water dish?), is festooned in red yarn (every knitter's fish should have a yarn ball) and sports a tiara. Question: doesn't PETA have a bunch to say about the mistreatment of wool-bearing animals in the yarn-making process? Aren't they in danger of being hypocritical by having yarn available for their Sea Kittens?

¶¶FOOTNOTE (club footed by a lack of eloquence): Who had trouble stringing three words together.

##FOOTNOTE (pounding the point home): Who strung a LOT of words together.

†††FOOTNOTE (pictures at 11, crosses at 3): One little thing Fox News and I don't have in common.

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