Friday, July 18, 2008

Midsummer at the Lake of Good and Evil

You know how they say you can tell how happy a biker is by the bugs in his teeth?

Actually, if Cutest Little Car was that happy, it was because of all the attention she got by throwing temper tantrums on the way to the lake.

But once we got the tire patched and spent a lot of quality time with various tire shops along I-76 not remotely prepared to provide low-low profile run-flat tires, we had a great drive.

[SUMMARY: Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the show?]

It was a subdued@ year at the lake. Connie couldn't come because her brother died Monday and Jenny and I both promised her Mary, her daughter, would make it home safe and sound.

I said I'd try to get Shannon, her husband, home safe too, but I wasn't making any guarantees on that one.

I took a much smaller cabin this year. The 2BR/2B suite just seemed like overkill for one little ol' me, so I ended up on the other side, facing the lake.§

There was a big spider in the bathroom.

[SUMMARY: What I Killed on my Summer Vacation.]

The doom and gloom continues.

Remember Junie Mae's?

Home of the best biscuits and gravy in the world, homemade jam and migas to die for?

I think we all shed a little tear when we saw that Friday morning.

And I forgot my vegetables.

And my special pillow.

And my books.

Also? The Blue Period Scarf and its attached ball of silk went into the water.^

[SUMMARY: This was a vacation?]

On the brighter side,there's Burnout for the Cure.$

Matt and Laurie, of Suburban Sedation Crew fame, uncle and aunt of Tommy,# brought their family this year, which was splendid.

Mary had kids to play with, which made the "keeping her safe to get her home to her mother" thing so much easier.

But you always have to keep a close eye on kids.

One minute they're here...

...the next they're gone.

I wish y'all could meet Shanny.% No, no... I wish y'all could TRAVEL with Shanny. The inside joke is, "garlic press," because one year, in an effort to think of some smartass, farfetched item Shanny wouldn't have, they asked him for a garlic press.

Which he produced.

Shanny uses his big white truck the way a lot of women use their purses: a way to never, ever be without something you may need.††

[SUMMARY: Everybody need a little Shanny in their life.]

On the list of other good things from the lake, nightly fire pits and s'mores.‡‡

Matt and Jenny supervise Carl's fire pit skills.

S'mores almost always comes with kid cuddling. Never a bad thing.

Braden and Matt, Mary and Shannon

And the weather? Under the ongoing heading, "global warming, my ass," it was 94 on Friday and 86 on Saturday. The coolest it's been any other time I've gone to the lake is 104. I'm not exaggerating.

We had vodka for breakfast Friday.

We had cupcakes for breakfast Sunday.

[SUMMARY: Good things come to those with no sense of propriety.]

You know what bugs me, though?§§

[SUMMARY: I think I'm funny.]

Despite the grousing, it's still the most relaxing thing I do all year. Even with spiders in the bathroom and beetles in the chocolate.

Bye-bye lake. See you next year.

FOOTNOTE (crossed): In the form of a flat tire. From a nail or something. I guess not her fault, but still...

FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): The nice tire patcher in Keenesburg offered to trade tires with the guys who brought their Ford F350s in while he was working on mine. "You'll never feel closer to the land," I said, by way of helping.

@FOOTNOTE (atted): As opposed to subdude, who is the dude under the dude. Yeah, I still think I'm funny.

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): The view was nice, but everybody else was facing north, and I kept having to come out of my cabin, around the corner and into the big flat area they all shared to see if people were up and about in the mornings. I think next year, I'll ask for Cabin 11, the small unit facing north, so I can share with my lake peeps.

^FOOTNOTE (careted): And smells like a lagoon. Let's just call it pre-blocking, shall we?

FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): About damn time.

$FOOTNOTE (moneyed): I had to take a picture, 'cause you might not have believed me otherwise.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded):

%FOOTNOTE (percented): Also? One of the funniest people I know. Oh, I try to stay cool, but really... last year, while we were at the Spur waiting for our pre-dinner drinks to come from the bar, Jim Croce somehow came up and Shanny sang, "If I could shave mimes in a brothel..." (to the tune of "Time in a Bottle," in case you didn't get that). He reminded me of that during this year's Spur trip and I giggled helplessly and randomly all night.

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): Like a hair dryer, a banana or a labelmaker. Y'know, that "if Monty Hall asks, I've got it" thing.

‡‡FOOTNOTE (doubble-crossssed): Gourmet s'mores one night. I brought Hershey's Symphony bars with almonds and toffee chips. It seemed like a good idea, but mostly it gave the impression of having pebbles or maybe beetles in the mix. When you eat outside, "Is this a... special... candy bar?" is a vital question.

§§FOOTNOTE (swirling smoke off toased marshmallows): I can see myself!

No comments: