Monday, July 28, 2008

Wielding a Comedy Club

Kelley and I went to see Mitch Fatel at the Denver Improv last night.

Gary Cannon was the feature act. He pissed me off early.

Yeah, it surprised me as much as it surprises you.

I would assume that if a comedian picked on me, I'd go along good-naturedly, maybe even get a line or two in myself, but the first thing he did was call us stupid.

[SUMMARY: DON'T call me stupid.]

Then he called us lesbians.

I have enough trouble getting dates without being billed as a lesbian in front of 400 people.

[SUMMARY: "Lesbian" is at least more interesting than "stupid."]

So I refused to laugh at his jokes. And every joke, he'd look over and say, "Nothing?" and I'd shrug.

"We're going to be kissing by the end of this set. I swear, tongue and everything. We are going to be making out right here on this stage."


He's an insult comedian. Most of his act consists of devising unflattering nicknames for people in the audience.

A guy sitting right in front of the mic had sunglasses pushed up on his head.

"Sunglasses on the head. Welcome to the 80s, dude. Oh, hey, wait... let me see those for a sec." He put them on his head and turned to me. "Anything?"

"Oh, I've never wanted you more than I want you right now," I said in a flat, monotone voice, reminiscent of eBeth when Brother kept hounding her to tell him how sexy he was when he was knitting.

"You want me now? Come on up and give me a kiss." And he had the audience cheer me on, so I trotted up, laid one on his cheek and sat down.

Later, as he left the stage, he said, "Thanks, guys. You were good sports."

"That's OK," I said, "I picked your pocket."§

[SUMMARY: I still think I'm funny.]


So I'm heartily sick of the sound of my own voice when it comes to this perfume stuff. I never intended to change this to an all scent, all the time show. Just snappy little reviews. Short, sweet. Adjunct to -- not the purpose of -- the daily blather.

Here's the new and improved perfume review:

ETA: Oh, duh. I forgot to give you the name of the perfume. Thank goodness I had The Perfume Spot to save me or y'all would think I was senile. Er. Seniler.

Thierry Mugler - Innocent

Marin says: This is another of my favourites, one of those I've purchased more than once. To me, it smells of cocoa (not chocolate -- not quite that sweet or milky -- but cocoa) and grapefruit, with a little lilac or jasmine somewhere underneath. Also? Boys tend to tell me how much they like it and, y'know, I like when boys like it.

The Perfume Spot¶ says: "Created by the design house of Thierry Mugler in 1999, Angel Innocent is classified as a refreshing, flowery fragrance. This feminine scent possesses a blend of pure mandarin,# honey, fresh almond and other exotic fruits.†† Accompanied by rich musk and amber."

Thierry Mugler says: "Its mischeivous, sparkling notes invite you to the joy of play, the pleasure of whimsy and the desire to be unforgettable."

Hans says: Oh, I like that one! Subtle, yet... um... I don't know. I don't have a word for it. Springtime-ish." And, as he wandered off down the hall, "I like springtime."

FOOTNOTE (crossed): I find Mitch Fatel very funny (duh), though I imagine I like the sweet character of his act better than the asshole he may be, given the mien of his blog.

FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Boy, did I show him!

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): And seeing him surreptitiously check for his wallet was just icing on the cake.

FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): Because Thierry Mugler went all faeries-and-rainbows on me, giving me nothing concrete about what I may be smelling.

#FOOTNOTE (pounded): Like grapefruit! Ha! Got one!

††FOOTNOTE (ddouble-ccrossed): "...other exotic fruits." Exotic fruits like almonds? Maybe I shoulda just stuck with the Thierry Mugler rhetoric.

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