Friday, September 7, 2007

Three Things


1) Here is the layout of my life for the next week-and-a-half:
  • I have a huge, looming deadline that was Friday (the 14th) but I think I can push it to Monday, which is scant comfort because...

  • I have the Rocky Mountain Mineral Law Foundation Mineral Title Examination all day Thursday and Friday so I can't really work on said deadline either day, and...

  • I would come in to work all this weekend, but The Client is playing musical offices, having just remodeled an entire new floor to accommodate the growinggrowinggrowing company and I'm moving from my cozy little cubicle on 13 to my very own office on 5, which sounds nice but means I can't work between 4:00 today and 2:00 Sunday afternoon which is killing me because two weeks ago I said, "Yeah, no problem, I'll have this done by Friday the 14th," with utter arrogance and hubris despite the fact that...

  • I now have approximately 50 hours worth of work to do to finish this.

This is a lot of words to gain your compassion and let you know that blogging may take a back seat next week.

[SUMMARY: Shameless shilling for sympathy.]

2) The Onion has a Shattered Expectations fantasy football league. You don't have to draft teams or anything.

In short, you pick two QB, two RB, two WR, one kicker and one defense from a set list every week and whomever screws up the most wins. There are legitimate prizes from The Onion, but mostly there's the fun of playing. If any of you is interested, sign up before Sunday at The Onion Fantasy Football Shattered Expectations.

Our league is Shattered Elks, our password, Elway.

3) My fantasy about this weekend:

  • Friday: Devise brilliant method of shortcutting workload by taking two folders tonight to work on at home, a little art, a little wine, a lot of quality sleep

  • Saturday: Up early (not too), notary skills applied in Littleton and check picked up, followed by trip to bank (where they have doughnuts and coffee), my favourite song is on the radio on the way home, then I experience unbelievably productive (but surprisingly short) work hours, a little more art, a little more wine, a surprise call from the Fling wanting to rub my feet tonight and cook me breakfast in the morning. Sex.

  • Sunday: A happy morning snuggle, a cheery drive home in soft sunlight, two hours of insanely productive work time (while the laundry runs), a couple of hours of knitting and TiVi catch-up ETA: Broncos! (while laundry finishes), call Kelley and tell her I'll pick her up at 5:15 for dinner reservations at Vesta and Lavell Crawford, eat a lovely dinner, laugh our asses off, nightcap at the Coral, home to bed at a reasonable hour, happy in the knowledge that I only have about ten hours of work left on the deadline.

[SUMMARY: Monkeys soaring out of my butt.]

The probably reality of my weekend:

  • Friday: No brilliance, no art, a lotta whine, an ill-conceived late night at the Coral,% lack of quality sleep.

  • Saturday: Up at the crack of 11:30, notary skills applied in Littleton and check picked up too late to deposit, the National Weather Service issues a tornado warning on the I-25 corridor for the next six hours on the radio on the way home, get a ticket for expired plates three blocks from home, no phone calls - check dial tone, experience unbelievably frustrating work hours, check for dial tone, forced death march to cousin's studio for a little more art, cheap wine, call Brother on pretense of checking... something§..., collapse at home, check for dial tone, bed at 1:00. C-batteries dead, damnit.

  • Sunday: Cat nose in my ear at 5:15, realise because of undisciplined dumbassedness on Saturday I can't just roll over and go back to sleep, hours of insanely disorganised but frantic work time, ETA: Broncos!, call from Kelley saying she's picking me up in 45 minuts for dinner at Vesta and Lavell Crawford, realise never did laundry, haven't done laundry for three weeks, put together weird retro outfit from items in back of closet, eat a lovely dinner, laugh our asses off, nightcap at the Coral, home to bed at midnight, tossing and turning with worry over the massive amounts of work left to be done by next Monday.

[SUMMARY: Well, I'll laugh my ass off. At least I have that going for me.]

4) Look what I found!

Guess what I want for Christmas?

FOOTNOTE (crossed): Which ranks right up there with The Daily Show as my main source of news.

FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): Don't hate me 'cause I homer.

%FOOTNOTE (percented): Pronounced "Corral" by those in the know. snobsnobsnob

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): The cell phone equivalent of checking for dial tone.

FOOTNOTE (paragraphed): You didn't really think I was going to stick to three things, did you?

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