Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Today, Tomorrow, the Next Day

Today I will be getting most of my calories from powdered coffee whitener.

Tomorrow is the absolute drop-dead on this werk project... at least for the first phase.

The next day is Friday. Then shall I drink.

I will miss you all. Don't mourn for me, but live my life as I would wish -- knit, drink, fuck, frolic.§ Stop to smell the flowers. Watch the Broncos. Eat some chocolate. Snorgle a younger man. Feel the sun on your face. Go eighty in a sixty-five. Fondle some cashmere. Take pictures of a crane. Gaze upon Christian Bale. Overextend your VISA at Etsy. And knit... knit like there's no tomorrow.

I can no longer do these things, but someone must carry on the traditions of our people.

Oh! And could somebody TiVo Ugly Betty for me?

FOOTNOTE (crossed): Should you need a soundtrack, The Alan Parsons Project's "Old and Wise" would be good here. Hey, if you can't go for the laugh, go for the drama queen.

FOOTNOTE (double-crossed): But not with my yarn (see disclaimer, below).

§FOOTNOTE (swerved): Well, mostly the first two. I mean, if you're going for Authentic AntiM. If you're going for true wishes, go heavy on the second two. And while we're at it, I'd like a pony.

The preceeding blogpost was a hyperbolic enactment for dramatic effect. It in no way constitutes a legally binding obligation on the part of the the party of the first part ("Blogger") to die or in any other way disburse the contents of her estate to the parties of the second part ("Heartless Ghouls") whose only thought through that whole Norma Desmondesque scene was how to get to Blogger's stash first.

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